What's worse than a Jew? A Jew that steals other people's work in order to obtain more gold. How does he do it?
The Imitation of Todd Goldman in Four Easy Steps
- Step 1: Understand your market. Look at
competitors'Todd's work for inspiration:
- Step 2: Google image search for Todd's work. How about "owl cartoon":
- Step 3:???:
- Step 4: Profit!
Early Life and Inspiration
Todd Goliath has been
creating beautiful art illustrating since he was a bed-wetting child. Now, as an adult he has evolved from bed-wetting into a mature, original human being, who appreciates the fine artistry involved when his jealous competitors trace his art.
The astonishingly picturesque David and Goliath website, begun to further spew the apex-of-creative art of one Todd Goldman, now morbidly obese, describes him as "A guy who happens to see life a little differently from everyone else."
Initially, Goldman "produced" merely T-shirts with his ZZZZOMG-ZANY drawings accompanied by simple little work-on-so-many-levels sayings, which were inspired by his time spent at the University of Flori-gay studying tax accounting. Thankfully, his peen-sized enterprise has spread like a necrotic lesion across the planet, opening new shops to great acclaim in such locales as Tulsa, Cleveland, Cork, Glasgow, and Hiroshima.
New to the media spotlight, he has dazzled through the use of such phrases as "There's a lot of exciting crazy shit happening", becoming not only a media darling, but a model for aspiring poets and novelists - and has received fan mail from across the globe. In answer to this outpouring of support, he has invited them all to do as he did - look to his primary paternal figure for support in the quest for a less-feminine identity.
—Todd Goldman, getting pussy whipped by Charlenay, the communal hooker.
Current, Often Brilliant Work
Characters created by Goldman include such masterpieces as Goodbye Kitty, Trendy Wendy, and Jack the Nerd - of whom there have been many sincere, even desperate imitators, who in some cases have been so desperate in their desire for Todd's fabulous existence that they have GONE BACK IN TIME to TRACE HIS ART AND CALL IT THEIR OWN.
—Todd Goldman, finally telling the truth.
Goldman has repeatedly stated, on various digg and SA forums, that he regards the attempts to copy his art before he made it as "Flattery. That's all it really is, and I think it is kinda cute, honestly." And, in a remarkable tribute to the Marxist roots of his artistic muse, Hello Kitty, he has given up the rights to all his work, believing that the creations of the individual belong in fact to the communal whole, free to be propagated, shopped, traced, and sold at various LA galleries by any artist not so lucky in life as Goldman himself.
—Todd Goldman, Gay Communists of America's The Pink Revolution Rally.
Obviously, this philosophy has not stopped his company from sending a number of these 'imitators' cease and desist letters, as well as threats of litigation. Cuz Jew.
David and Goliath vs. Feministing.com: Goldman
The fine folks at Feministing.com complained about a David and Goliath t-shirt printed with the rape-promoting slogan, "NO MEANS NO...well maybe if I'm drunk!" The shirt in question was pulled and replaced with another shirt and a 10% discount offered to Feministing.com readers. Ooooh burn! By deploying the retarded humor of the 13-year old boy, Goldman fails in what was presumably an attempt to deliver the lulz. The poor quality of this rejoinder is representative of Goldman's work in general.
Gallery Of His Work And His Imitators
- Where it all began.
- "Someone" stepping in to spread some lies.
- The Todd Goldman MySpace! (Currently being "hacked" by Todd in an effort to take it away from its now rightful owner)
- What we couldn't fit here.
- An insight into Todd's eating habits.
- Goth fap fodder Roman Dirge join the witch hunt.
- Article on Todd's theft.
- BoingBoing On Da Goldman Saga.
Wired magazines articleREMOVED DUE TO LOLSUIT! (But you can still read the article here!)
|Featured article April 12, 2007|
|Todd Goldman||Succeeded by|