Todd Goldman

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Communal ownership of original.
Oh snap!

What's worse than a Jew? A Jew that steals other people's work in order to obtain more gold. How does he do it?


The Imitation of Todd Goldman in Four Easy Steps

  • Step 1: Understand your market. Look at competitors'Todd's work for inspiration:
  • Step 2: Google image search for Todd's work. How about "owl cartoon":
  • Step 3:???:

Early Life and Inspiration

Todd, the Marxist...
Todd grants a minor the gift of pr0n...

Todd Goliath has been creating beautiful art illustrating since he was a bed-wetting child. Now, as an adult he has evolved from bed-wetting into a mature, original human being, who appreciates the fine artistry involved when his jealous competitors trace his art.

The astonishingly picturesque David and Goliath website, begun to further spew the apex-of-creative art of one Todd Goldman, now morbidly obese, describes him as "A guy who happens to see life a little differently from everyone else."

Initially, Goldman "produced" merely T-shirts with his ZZZZOMG-ZANY drawings accompanied by simple little work-on-so-many-levels sayings, which were inspired by his time spent at the University of Flori-gay studying tax accounting. Thankfully, his peen-sized enterprise has spread like a necrotic lesion across the planet, opening new shops to great acclaim in such locales as Tulsa, Cleveland, Cork, Glasgow, and Hiroshima.

New to the media spotlight, he has dazzled through the use of such phrases as "There's a lot of exciting crazy shit happening", becoming not only a media darling, but a model for aspiring poets and novelists - and has received fan mail from across the globe. In answer to this outpouring of support, he has invited them all to do as he did - look to his primary paternal figure for support in the quest for a less-feminine identity.

My dad's name is David and his dog's name is Goliath. I didn't want a cutesy and feminine name. I was looking for a more masculine name


—Todd Goldman, getting pussy whipped by Charlenay, the communal hooker.

Current, Often Brilliant Work

A consequence of such brilliance!
The amount of gold Jew earns for every picture.

Characters created by Goldman include such masterpieces as Goodbye Kitty, Trendy Wendy, and Jack the Nerd - of whom there have been many sincere, even desperate imitators, who in some cases have been so desperate in their desire for Todd's fabulous existence that they have GONE BACK IN TIME to TRACE HIS ART AND CALL IT THEIR OWN.

I guess what happened was this . . . the original idea came from that Kelly guy . . . which one of my artists had seen. We changed it to "Please God Make All my Friends Fat" . . . I'm knocking off everyone, apparently.


—Todd Goldman, finally telling the truth.

Goldman has repeatedly stated, on various digg and SA forums, that he regards the attempts to copy his art before he made it as "Flattery. That's all it really is, and I think it is kinda cute, honestly." And, in a remarkable tribute to the Marxist roots of his artistic muse, Hello Kitty, he has given up the rights to all his work, believing that the creations of the individual belong in fact to the communal whole, free to be propagated, shopped, traced, and sold at various LA galleries by any artist not so lucky in life as Goldman himself.

I have to admit, I was really inspired by the Cultural Revolution ... when Mao made it so clear that it was in everyone's best interest to really open up and own things as a group -- that sense of group responsibility and ownership -- wow... that's why I don't care if someone uses what I've done to help themselves... if I see something that I've made being sold in a random gallery, I think, good for them... I'm just honored that I can help others.


—Todd Goldman, Gay Communists of America's The Pink Revolution Rally.

Obviously, this philosophy has not stopped his company from sending a number of these 'imitators' cease and desist letters, as well as threats of litigation. Cuz Jew.

David and Goliath vs. Goldman FTW FTL

The fine folks at complained about a David and Goliath t-shirt printed with the rape-promoting slogan, "NO MEANS NO...well maybe if I'm drunk!" The shirt in question was pulled and replaced with another shirt and a 10% discount offered to readers. Ooooh burn! By deploying the retarded humor of the 13-year old boy, Goldman fails in what was presumably an attempt to deliver the lulz. The poor quality of this rejoinder is representative of Goldman's work in general.

Gallery Of His Work And His Imitators

Gallery Of His Work And His Imitators About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

External Links

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Featured article April 12, 2007
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