TIME CUBE TRUTHS COMMON KNOWLEDGE
- TIME CUBE IS A "T.O.E." - THEORY OF EVERYTHING: TIME, LIFE AND TRUTH. TO BELIEVE OTHERWISE MAKES YOU EVIL.
- THERE ARE FOUR 24 HOUR DAYS ON THE PLANET EARTH.
- HUMAN LIFE IS A "CRAP SHOOT." MALES AND FEMALES ARE TWO SEPARATE CUBES.
- GENE RAY, TIME CUBE REVEALER, IS THE WORLDS SMARTEST HUMAN BEING. HE IS ALSO A COUSIN OF PIRAT PONTON.
- HUMANS ARE CUBES, NOT ENTITIES.
- MIDNIGHT BE BLACK RACE DAY.
- MATH IS TEH EVIL. ALL NUMBERS EQUAL ZERO.
- HOW COULD CUBELESS JEW GOD-QUEER CREATE MAN FROM DIRT WHEN BODY IS 75 PERCENT WATER.
- WORD ADULTISM IS ANTI-CHILD.
- MAN IS PERSONIFIED PYRAMID; THE HEAD IS MADE OF FOUR CORNERS - TWO, EARS NOSE, AND BACK CORNER.
- TIME IS CUBIC NOT LINEAR. NO THIS IS NOT A RUBIX CUBE HAHAHA LOL0RZ HAX0RZ
- A MOTHER AND A BABY ARE THE SAME AGE: 16 YEARS OLD
- CUBED NATURE IS DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND, SO ALL EXPLANATION MUST BE DONE IN ALL CAPS FONT SIZE=5.
(NOTE: BELOW, THE FAGGOTY PORTION OF THIS ENTRY BEGINS, DENOTED BY THE FACT IT IS NOT IN CAPS, AND IS OBVIOUSLY WRITTEN BY A PRETENTIOUS JEW.) First, Time Cubers are absolute nutjobs; only Alex Chiu comes close for sheer amounts of certifiable insanity. They typically type in all-caps, they believe bullshit theories about the universe, and are as elitist as your resident indie fucktard. Thus, it's very easy to troll them.
- Say there's only one time.
YEAH THE TIME OF THE CUBE
- Say 1 + 1 = 2. They HATE that.
ONE CUBE+ONE CUBE=TWO CUBES, SO WHAT STUPID JEW
- Say that cubes have 6 sides, not 4.
YEAH SMARTASS, BUT 6x4=24 (HOURS OF THE DAY)
- Say that Gene Ray is a schizophrenic.
MOST GENIUSES WERE/ARE CRAZY AS HELL, JEWS THOUGHT JESUS WAS CRAZY TOO.
If you want, it's extremely simple to act like a Time Cuber. The caps lock is your best friend in this case, but you have other opportunities:
- Blame everything on the Jews. Yes, we know, everything is already their fault, but since they're already responsible for world hunger, war, and Quasidan, we may as well blame fake things on them, too.
- Don't type anything in understandable plain English. Expect others to understand your incoherent babbling anyways and act like they're stupid if all they can respond with is lol wut.
- Whenever someone claims a fact, say "You are educated stupid," and begin ranting about the evil academic agenda. E-points if you can a) blame it on multiple groups, or b) come up with unique ways to kill said groups. Gene Ray prefers crucifixion or burning in Hell - strange for someone who claims to not believe in God - but your mileage may vary.
- The fewer facts you can cite, the more successful your Time Cube argument will become. Wager money on it! Offer to kill your children! Claim that your amazing and superior Time Cube ideas are being silenced by the evil academics! The possibilities are endless!
Time Cube - The Gene Ray Interview
TechTV interviewed Gene Ray, the Time Cube Theory creator, on June 18 2003. Was he two sides short of a full cube? You decide.
Richard Janczarsky: Time Cube An Hero
Gene Ray's protege and scrotum masseuse. The world's 2nd wisest human and OH SO MUCH LULZier than his sith master. He walked into a train and became an hero and a winrar. You should also attempt this.
PROOF OF TIME CUBE
CANT DO THESE IN FIRST WORLD AWAKE MODE? STARE AT AN OBJECT ON A WALL <---- MAKE IT FALL USE A DIMMER SWITCH TO PUT AN ELECTRICAL OBJECT ON THE EDGE ----> MAKE IT TWITCH LISTEN TO A RECORD ---> ABSORB THE THOUGHTFORMS TRANSFORM SITUATIONS THRU THE GUIDES PATH HOLD TWO MIRRORS UP TO EACH OTHER --> watch your self reflect back onto a reflection of a reflection of illusion OF A TIME CUBE UNPLUG YOUR COMPUTER ---> hypnagogic black TIME CUBE MAKE A LIST <---- CHECK IT TWICE SWEAT---> SWEAT---> SWEAT---> SWEAT---> SWEAT---> TIME CUBE SWEAT---> MASTER YOUR DREAMS--> to --> ENSLAVE YOUR WAKENESS --> to ---> MASTER THE INFINITE DREAM------> FIND OUT IF YOU'RE NAUGHTY OR NICE FIND SANTA <----MAKE HIM SHIMMER DISSOLVE ---> UNDERSTAND THIS IS ALL BULLSHIT I ONLY EXISTS IN YOUR HEAD YOU IS BULLSHIT
- ALL CAPS
- Questionable logic
- Time-generating techniques
- Time Magazine
- Xee-A Twelve
- You Stupid Relativist
- KLULZ interview. ED:IRC video version. Cornell scientist James Dobson interviews Ray via phone April 30, 2010.
- Wikipedia entry. As shitty as Wikipedia is, the fact that someone took hours to actually decipher this nonsense deserves a mention. Also, hit "newer version" over 9000 times, there's a shitload of lulz to be taken. Guaranteed!
- Let others know that you aren't educated stupid with the official ED Time Cube shirt
- Cubic Awareness Online
- The Wisest Human Do a whois on thewisesthuman.com and guess what: The Administrative contact is Gene Ray! This douchebag thinks highly of himself.
- Also a well adjusted individual
- Punisher A famous retard fag on GLP (and other forums) whose Questionable logic is pretty much like the one used by Gene Ray. He thinks that science is a lie, that only him, the son of Enoch possesses the ultimate truth, that everyone who disagrees with him lies, is brainwashed and evil and will end up having their ass kicked by Enoch once dead. He likes to debate about a buttload of other motherfucking buffalo diarrhoea like the fact that the space shuttle lack of rear thrusters and therefore can't dock with the ISS, that's it's a lie, a fucking conspiracy to enslave your mind. He also is an adept of the flat earth theory.
- His Twitter: unfortunately his 82+ cancer prevents him from frequent updates.
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