The Incredible Hulk

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The Incredible Hulk is a Marvel comic; conceived by Stan Lee one summer-evening back in the early 60's whilst boning Jack Kirby's wife, that revolves around the thrilling adventures of Bruce Banner, a crazy bespectacled scientist who accidentally blew himself up during US government gamma-bomb testing. Instead of rightfully being fractured into his constituent atoms Banner obtains the abilty to transform into a gigantic green-skinned goliath, capable of tearing open tanks like tin-cans and leaping distances of several miles in a single bound but, and here's the twist, only when he gets really mad! Luckily for comic book fans, Hulk has a habit of going batshit insane, freaking out on the regular; wherever and whenever faggotry rears its ugly head. At one point, Iron Man got drunk and shot Hulk into space. It became the collective opinion of mankind that Earth was fucked when he returned.

When he eventually did get back he beat fuck out of everybody and forced them to fight in a gigantic arena until a Superman copypasta slapped him and he exploded.

When he's not the Hulk, Banner is a burnt-out whining emo drifter, constantly faced with the fact that he'll never be able fuck his former-flame, Betty Ross, either as himself or the Hulk. Banner is impotent and the Hulk would only destroy her vagina upon his very first thrust. Some argue that the only canon contemporary capable of withstanding the Hulk's near-unstoppable fucking-force would be his cousin, She-Hulk. Despite Bruce Banner being a super-intelligent scientist, the Hulk is a retard.

Powers and Abilities


A film adaptation of the Hulk was made back in 2003 to net greedy Jews at Marvel more of their precious gold; in order to cut costs they engaged azn director Ang Lee. Emphasising storyline over action meant that strangely for a movie involving a super-powered smashing-machine it actually featured very little smashing... mostly character-development, tl;dw, child abuse, etc.. Because of this, nobody saw it and the director was deported back to China. He later returned to enchant audiences with a movie about gay cowboys eating pudding.

A reboot was attempted with Edward Norton in 2008, it featured a little more action along with a second "Hulk" like antagonist. He's naked, but has Ken-doll like genitals. He should have had a huge HULKDONG and he should have smashed shit with it.


Tales of Interest!

See Also


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