Ethan Ralph

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Colt45.jpg This person is a fierce alcoholic

You can help by sending them pamphlets and donating your liver.

Ralphie looks like your typical fedora wearing neckbeard

Ethan Ralph (also known as The Ralph or TheRalphRetort) used to be an SJW until they discarded him for being too fat (5' 1" and 247 pounds, BMI of 46.7!!!), after which he created a pro-GamerGate "website" called "TheRalphRetard" and quickly descended into lunacy.

He often brags about being a journalist because he runs a clickbait Gaymergate drama "news site" (despite him not being able to spell to save his life, repeatedly publishing fake news stories and violating even the most basic standards of journalistic ethics upheld even by the journos he constantly badmouths) but in reality, he's nothing but a barely recognizable blogger, appealing to a niche audience, the majority of which has either quit the cause or he has already personally alienated. The only reason he bothers to continue writing is to try and convert what remains of GamerGate into a neo-nazi group he believes he can command by gathering a group of ED trolls he doesn't realize are just fucking with him and "ordering" them to dox anyone in GG who's center-left or dares make fun of him. All of this just to satisfy his addiction to E-fame.

At the moment Ralph is safely nestled away in his online hugbox, where he frantically alternates between spending his time trying to drive anyone out of GamerGate who isn't a literal nazi like him, throwing hysterical fits about constantly getting trolled while stuffing his face with burgers, and holding court with his secret circlejerk of "fans" about these issues, most of whom are trolls who have doxed people in GG including him personally while he cried about it, and now continue to do the same thing while pretending to want to help him to his face so that they can place the blame on him for more drama and then laugh at him behind his back.

Who is "Ralph"? (nobody)

Ralph's girlfriend expectedly looks inbred

Ethan Ralph is a fat (and short) redneck fuck with a stupid accent who runs "TheRalphRetort", commonly referred to as ThatRalphRetard, a blog no one read until he started talking shit about Leigh Alexander in the wake of GamerGate. The only people who still read it now are a circlejerk of his cronies, trolls, and trolls pretending to be part of his circlejerk of cronies. Even the fine drama connoisseurs at ED have now dropped him since he hadn't been handed an actual scoop in like 6 months.

My name is Ethan. I recently graduated from USC Upstate with a degree in political science. I live here in the Upstate now, but am originally from Memphis, Tennessee. My life there is what brought my opposition to the War on Drugs into sharp focus: seeing firsthand the perils associated with procuring “illegal” substances, the violence often needed to control the places of purchase, all the while witnessing the devastation caused to large swaths across my age cohort because of an illogical, ineffective, and insane approach to drug control policy here in the United States. Often that policy and the laws associated with it are enforced unevenly, and harsher, longer, and more restrictive punishments being meted out to people of color. This is an additional outrage that also helps spurn me into action and activism. I support the reformation of marijuana laws along with an entire rethinking of our approach towards all substances and the way we treat the people who use them.


Ralph, Who could have guessed that he was a druggie?

In reality, Ralph never cared about GamerGate (who does?) and was only in it for the e-fame/imaginary power, ad revenue and because he is literally the cartoonish stereotype of a gamergator that feminists (rightly) accuse them all of being. I.E: A fat, white, deeply racist and misogynistic loser who is only using the pretense of "Ethics in games journalism" as a front to facilitate his attacks on women online in the name of conservatism. Something that was proven when he was exposed having a secret chatroom where he referred to women he disagrees with online as "targets" and literally plotted how to bully them off the internet like a cartoon villain with the help of a group of trolls who are taking him for a ride.

Currently, he continues to try and split the movement, threatening people out in the open (since there is no point in hiding it anymore) and labeling traitors to his nazi party as "GamerGate+", "SJW Lite" and "Ethics Cucks" for actually trying to get people to uphold journalistic standards of ethics instead of what he thinks is the true goal of GG - Killing all the trannys.

Ralph gets trolled over and over



—The tagline of his blog, Translation: fuck trying to salvage a shred of dignity by not acting butthurt every time I get trolled

Seeing how ironically thin skinned Ethan is, he became a favorite target for every troll fucking with both sides of GG. Groups like /baph/, GNAA, AyyTeam, /cow/, Kiwi Farms, BWC, EDF2 and every other troll community online started messing with him, making up shit about him to watch him flip his shit and arguing over who doxed his fat ass first (it was EDF2, you cred stealing faggots).

Ralph is Butthurt over a 20-year-old Joke


The first signs of what a joke Ralph would soon become was when someone mentioned Arby's to him...
You see, everyone on the internet knows that Glenn Beck Raped and Murdered a Girl in 1990, everyone but Ralph, that is.

It seems this 10-year-old internet joke about Glenn Beck, stolen from a 20-year-old joke about Bob Saget, has reached everyone's ears but somehow missed Ethan. So when someone asserted that it was, in fact, he who raped and murdered a 13-year-old girl behind an Arby's dumpster in 1995, Ralph became enraged and has not calmed down to this day. He continued to rant and rave about it FOR SEVERAL MONTHS, and when he realized it was just an old meme, unwilling to admit his mistake, he claimed that using an old meme was part of a diabolical scheme by trolls to make people think it's true.
His reaction was all the proof anyone needed of what a gullible, easily rustled fool he is, culminating in a perpetual trolling campaign targeting him that continues to this day.

8chan Baphomet Drama

LOL virgin
So virgin

In February 2015 Ralphie got involved with edgy as fuck group Baphomet, after the Blue Cross Blue Shield hack and the SSN and credit card info-dumping on Baphomet in February. Ralph Wiggum started whining about this funny shit on his twitter and homepage, how Baphomet "Endangers all of 8chan" and how they should be shut down. But really, it was just a convenient excuse for him to try and get rid of them because he was mad that they had been laughing at him for a while now and tweeting "Arby's" at him.


The avatar that says: "I'm trying too hard"

Baphomet's special school participants saw what a whiny bitch Ralph was and decided to step it up a notch. They promptly doxed him (only not really because most of the information was already dug up by members of your friendly neighborhood ED. So, once again, Baphomet was completely useless), exposing his SSN, phone, address, inbred family of cows and autistic looking sister/girlfriend. They then proceeded to send pizzas to his house.

But the dox wasn't all they found. You see... Not too long ago, Ralph was a fat, pathetic bastard with no prospects, much like he is now. He frequented a leftist blog called "Daily Kos" and wrote a number of shitty posts about Don Imus and feminism. Considering he now believes anyone who supports any kind of feminism deserves to get raped, the fact he once wrote semi-positive things about it was all the ammo anyone needed. The script kiddies at Baphomet tried to portray this as RED HOT EVIDENCE of him being an SJW, to which Ralph responded with massive asshurt over the fact it was exposed he wasn't always a neo-nazi.

Everyone gathered around and laughed as Ethan tried to appear not mad, an act which failed even more spectacularly when he got on a 2-hour long Livestream to scream about them drunk while spilling spaghetti all over his floor.

Above is a supercut of the best moments of tard rage and crying during which Ethan spends half the time whining that people are mad at him of attacking trannys online before calling Hotwheelz a crippled motherfucker (much to the dismay of the "Hotwheels is Literally Jesus" crowd) because he asked Hotwheels himself to delete the thread about him on Baphomet and Hotwheelz told him to go fuck himself (Not included is the part where, allegedly, after Ralph passed out, KingOfPol flashed his dick on the stream and Ralph got a youtube strike).

Soon after, 8chan's /v/ decided to wordfilter any links to Ralph's page which he was constantly spamming there. No one cares about the shithole anyway, since the real /v/ is on 4chan. But Ralph was determined to look like an idiot over it, leading to his first in a long line of pathetic, one-sided ex-communications, wherein he declared 8chan to no longer be a part of GamerGate according to him.

Ralph got on Twitter and cried about how he got doxed after he kicked the hornet nest in the first place cyber bullying in an act of stunning hypocrisy.
So, while Ralph openly outs trannys (also with information dug up by us), reports false allegations as facts, and overall engages in weak-ass trolling, he then turns around and denounces baph, GNAA and BWC (and probably ED once he reads this article) for doing the same things.

Micropenis and SWATing SJWs scam

Porn star's reaction

Ralph's continued homosexuality lead to baph's favorite tactic to be unleashed upon him - Making shit up.
While some might consider this shit tier trolling, Ralph was particularly susceptible to people making up shit about him and then photoshopping evidence. Baph shooped some fake emails to make it look like Ralph paid them to SWAT Devi Evers and, even though everyone knows baph is full of shit and no one would take their word even over that of a documented lair like Ralph, he still (expectedly) flew into a rage.

They then spread around pictures of a tiny penis that someone on the board claimed to have uncovered and told people it belonged to Ralph (we are not adding the actual pictures to the article in case Ralph tries to falsely report us for revenge porn), then got GG porn star Mercedes Carrera to make fun of it. However, one potential explanation for the constant, ceaseless, undying tard rage of Ethan is that he actually has a micropenis. Either way, mention this to Ralph and he will become positively livid, because it totally isn't true, guys.

(Ex) Girlfriend

Keep your site. That and #GamerGate are all you have left now.


—Allegedly her last words to Ralph, We can't confirm the source, but if she said it she wasn't wrong

One particular person of note who was uncovered by the dox was Ethan's (then) girlfriend. Mostly she is of note due to how ugly she is. Bathtards wasted no time doxing her as well and making many failed attempts to fix her face with photoshop. Not long after this, she broke up with Ralph. No one can be sure if it was due to the doxing or because Ralph treated her like shit, as evidenced by people overhearing him on his stream failing to light a cigarette and then drunkenly screaming at her: "GIT ME A LIGHTER THAT WORKS!" in his typical redneck voice, like a trailer park wife beater.

Downs Syndrome Girlfriend About missing Pics
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As a Columbia native, I have never understood the hype for this place. It's average sauce and the BBQ itself is often soggy with too much sauce mixed in and not of very good quality imo.... Also, it was founded by a total racist who would sell racist books inside the restaurant and fly the Confederate flag outside his restaurant. Eventually, stores even had to stop selling his BBQ sauce because he was such a racist. How is it ever worth supporting that kind of garbage?


—katyarborough, Social Justice Progressive like Ralph

Other Dramas

Ralph Gets Pwned by LeoPirate

Ralph Rage Deletes The Live Stream LeoPirate Appeared on

At one point Ralph got mad at Leo for "stealing" his scoop about Sarah Butts. So he did one of his precious streams and invited Leo to "debate" him on stealing his great videos and not giving him credit for breaking the story that was already on ED and various chans days before.
Ralph starts the Livestream laying out some rules saying that everyone will be civil and not scream and two seconds after he says that breaks his own rules.

It quickly devolves into Ralph whining and waving his tiny one-inch thimble penis claiming why he is the sole defender of truth & justice for no good reason and becoming amazingly indignant when LEO DARED TO SUGGEST HE'S NOT IMPORTANT! *GASP!*. Yes, Leo admitted neither he nor Ralph matter because all they do is report on the work that other people have dug up, and Ralph nearly had a stroke at the idea that being semi-famous online (it's the only thing he's got going for him in life and he's not even that really) is meaningless. The stream then gets even lulzier as he accuses Leo of being a furry and a "dog fucker" with zero evidence to back it up and begins screaming "BUT MILO SAID!!!" in response to everything. You see, Ralph is obsessed with Milo Yiannopoulos, and Milo, on his part, is embarrassed by Ralph but not as much as he is by the idea of having to admit he was wrong and that someone can be a ridiculous, right-wing nutcase.

Ralph then rage-kicked Leo and some other guy off the stream then, a few hours later he deleted everything out of butthurt. However, people who watched it testified to what a lolcow he is and LeoPirate secretly recorded the best part and uploaded it for all to hear in case Ralph tries to DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING.

Stalking Brianna Wu

At one point Ethan had the bright idea to stalk Brianna Wu. He showed up uninvited to one of her speaking engagements and started secretly filming her like a middle-aged japanese man at an elementary school. When Wu noticed him live-tweeting about beings just inches away from her and posting pictures of her in real-time, understandably not wanting to be followed by someone who looks like a serial killer that molests the bodies, Wu had him thrown out. An act which Ethan then tried to paint as an egregious attack on his free speech and not the expected result of him being a creepy fuck. This from a man who can't tolerate being made fun of in a voice chat that he himself initiated without kicking people out.

Not content with just photographic evidence of what a creep he is, Ralph even uploaded a video of his stalking in action.

TRR Publishes fake GAWKER leak

Much like the games journalists that GamerGate flings shit at, Ralph likes to regularly switch between calling himself a journalist and calling himself a blogger when, time after time, he rushes out to publish stories without verifying them or reaching out for comment and them soon turning out to be fake. But the one that drove the final nail in his "journalist" coffin was the infamous KoP/Denton leak. For anyone who doesn't know the story, known GG retard and persona non grata KingOfPol contacted Ralph and a number of other people with a "leak" he got from a Gawker employee of Nick Denton raging at GamerGate on his private facebook.

After publishing it in one article and then "confirming" it in another, everyone realized that it was bullshit and Ralph isn't even worthy of being called a hack. Ralph quickly tried to shift the blame and did his usual "You're dead to me" routine at KoP, but he still hangs out with him alongside various others disgraced, former gamergators who have been exiled from the movement for being batshit fundies.

Ralph and Milo Vs. Liana K

Ralph is just mad because even in her 40's Kerzner looks better than any woman who would be willing to sleep with him
Now, let's keep our eyes on the prize and make her check out of society.


—People in Ralph's secret online clubhouse, Talking about trying to get Liana to kill herself

Much of the most retarded factions of GamerGate have been in a perpetual slapfight with canadian prostitute Liana Kerzner for not agreeing 100% with literally everything they say all of the time. Leading the charge is Milo Yiannopoulos who attempted to silence her at one point using his inane hit-pieces and reposting semi-nakes pictures of Liana that she had already posted herself many times before. Unfortunately for Milo, as much as he doesn't want to believe it, Kerzner is not an easily triggered Radfem just because she doesn't ascribe to his radical brand of nationalism. So when, instead of getting angry and blocking him, Kerzner simply explained calmly why he's wrong and everything in his news stories about her is factually bullshit because he's an under-qualified tabloid peddler (thereby not allowing him to get the last word which he could desperately try to paint as a victory), Milo had no choice but to call a "truce" and slink away, only raising his head once every few months to try and pick a fight with her again and be knocked down once more.

Enraged by their leader's humiliating defeat, Milo's (literally) white knights all rushed to his defenses. Chief among them being our dear Ralph, who worships Yiannopoulos to such a creepy degree that he actually refers to him as "Master". Believing he could succeed where his "Master" has failed, Ralph launched a prolonged, one-sided war with Liana and [ continuously published moronic articles with no actual damning information about her] and then desperately tried to paint her understandable disgust at being stalked by a fat greaseball as her being mad at his brilliant trolling.

When this failed he tried again to post more rare pictures of her, which only made her look sort of hot (compared to his girlfriend at least), and got no response from her because, again, she already published all of these herself. When all else failed, egged on by a bunch of ED trolls who are pretending to help him but are actually laughing at him behind his back, Ralph turned to the saddest of failed troll's tactics and began threatening to write an ED article about her. You would think that being a "writer", he would have no problem doing this. However, the article never materialized because Ralph is barely literate in the first place.

GG Guy's sister kills herself - Ralph uses his grief to bully him offline

The picture that Goose allegedly spammed Ashton with.

Gather around children, and listen to this convoluted tale of hypocrisy...

One day, the sister of GG supporter Ashton Liu killed herself by jumping in front of a train. When some GG whore Called "CultOfVivian" that Ralph hated posted about it and mentioned she knew her through the GamerGate hashtag, Ralph allowed one of his "Writers" to write an article accusing her of trying to profit off of her death and calling her a hypocrite for criticizing his own Memorial page tourism because those two are exactly the same. When the expected backlash came, he doubled down by writing a follow-up (which Ralph approved again) accusing others of doing the same thing and not respecting Liu's request to be left alone (which is what he himself was also doing by publishing these articles). Then, for the coup de grace, this "writer" spammed Liu with pictures of a dead Asian girl laying next to a truck, and when Liu quit the internet and accused Ralph of intentionally driving him to it using his sister's death, he wrote a third followup attacking him despite the fact that was exactly what he was doing.

"How can someone be so stupid and hypocritical?" you might be asking yourself right now... well, he isn't. The writer did nothing wrong because he was actually a troll called "WildGoose", a member of BWC who last year doxed and tried to blackmail Ralph. Everything he was doing was using Ralph's stupidity to troll others and simultaneously troll Ralph by letting himself be made to look like an idiot. Ralph, on his part, allowed someone who recently doxed him to write for his site because he'll do anything for more content to keep his blog alive as well as the ability to delude himself into believing someone respects him enough to want to write for him.

His third motive for letting this go on was probably because he's actually trying to troll people in GG he doesn't like offline, and since he himself has never been able to do it on his own, using his 9 hour-long barrages of retarded and angry tweets, he uses the sort of /bath/-style trolls he was butthurt about last year to get it done for him. When he saw an opportunity to get rid of someone too liberal for his tastes using his sister's death, he just went for it. And when the predictable backlash came, he finally wrote his own article on the matter, defending Goose and attacking them for attacking him for attacking a guy whose sister just died into quitting the internet.


Twitter-favicon.png #OPWreckItRalph

Finally, everyone got sick of his faggotry and collaboratively fucked his shit up for being a massive homo.

Phase 1:Ethan Loses his ad money

To be honest, the whole advertiser attack method is anti-speech, and I wish I had never participated in such a scheme.


—Ralph, After losing his Guac


Recently, after months of SJWs trying to take down his site and failing, it was someone from GG who was sick of his shit that hilariously fucked him over for good by reporting Ralph to Google AdSense to have his ads removed. This person was most likely CultOfVivian, the female GG supporter Ralph accused of profiting off Liu's suicide and has spent months trying to bully off the internet with misogynistic slurs (really proving GG's critics wrong, huh?) because anyone who supports GG without being a racist psycho is not good enough for Ralph. CoV denies she is (solely) responsible and, "coincidentally", was banned from Twitter a day later. Izzy Galvez took credit like he does every time someone from GG gets banned, but it was probably Ralph who reported her out of pure butthurt.

One can only hope that now that his revenue has dried up he will finally fuck off so he can get the job he needs to support his crippling cheeseburger addiction. Too bad the fat fuck wouldn't be able to get a job at the nearest McD's, as he would eat all the cheeseburgers, before going on a rampage killing everyone.


Phase 2:Ralph's secret pillow fort exposed

Exclamation mark.png

Recently logs were leaked from Ralph's secret group of "Friends".
In reality, his "friends" who have spent the past few weeks helping him dox and harass various GamerGate women for not being racist xenophobes like him, contain among them a GNAA troll who doxed him, an Encyclopedia Dramatica Forums troll who doxed him, a BWC troll who doxed and tried to blackmail him, a BWC troll who now writes for him and publishes intentionally false stories to embarrass Ralph when he has to retract them, probably a number of other trolls form other sites... oh, and also Craig Brittain.

Can we get a consensus on this? Just a proposal for anyone else who regularly contributes to the site. No more "hit pieces" on GG+ tards. We just waged a month-long non-stop campaign on them. People who are willing to recognize them for what they are (SJWs) now know about their dirty dealings. Why bother giving them attention? Let's "punch up" as it were, no?


—Typical conversation in the tree fort, Ralph discussing harassing people into quitting the tag

The logs, which were leaked (probably by one of his trolls) despite the only rules being "no infighting and no leaks", contain the chronicles of everyone sucking up to him in his hugbox to avoid being banned so that they can continue milking him for more insane quotes where he admits to doing exactly what anyone who has paid any attention to him in the past year (no one) could see him doing: Intentionally pick fights, dox, harass, threaten and encourage in-fighting among anyone within what's left of GG whom he deems not extremist enough in an attempt to purge the movement and turn them into the KKK who will fight SJW under his control while giving him the admiration he so desperately craves.

After the fact came the usual cycle of Ralph seeking revenge and vowing to find the guilty party (does this a lot) and the trolls who are actually responsible convincing him that it was not them who fucked him over and that it is rather some other random person they claim they have "exposed" who is the true culprit. Again, Ralph bought it and continues to believe that the people in his tree fort are his friends who have his best interests at heart.

It is worth mentioning that Ralph was so monumentally embarrassed by this leak that it's the only time he didn't immediately try to write a blog post about it and attempt to milk his failure for views.

Phase 2.5:Suing BroTeam

ethan has flung himself at me a few times now for no other reason than to be humiliated and it's more bizarre each time


—BroTeamPill, Their view on the situation after we reached out for comment

Because he accidentally got meme'd on too hard, it seems that Ethan is tired of BroTeam being Brote, and wants to ArchiveToday-favicon.pngsue them.

No one, including BTP, knows what Ralph's fucking problem is with them. Even before this, he had attempted to instigate a fight with them on several occasions for no apparent reason, only to be humiliated when the only response to his "trolling" was gay laughter at his expense. Humiliated, he has blocked them and continued to tweet about them from behind his internet wall. Just prior to OpWreckItRalph he changed his avatar to a parody of theirs for no apparent reason, due to some imagined slight they had committed against him despite never even acknowledging his existence. So it was an opportune time for him to get his shit wrecked and for BroTeam to retweet the leaks. After they did so, Ralph decided to personally blame them for it and started threatening to sue, again, to the sound of laughter.

TheRalphRetort Suing BroTeam.jpg
Sue Basko

When this predictably failed, he and his elite troll crew spent all night trying to get revenge for getting Ralph's feelings hurt by trying to dox them and sending emails to someone's dad which he didn't even read... The great irony is that the people who are now helping Ralph dox people are literally the same ones Ralph was crying about when GamerGate started when they were pretending to be SJWs and doxing GG.

To this day no one knows why Ralph hates BroT so much, but speculations suggest it's some combination of jealousy for being more popular than him while not being tea-party retards, and built up, pent up rage over his multiple embarrassments he suffered as he repeatedly failed to troll them off Twitter.

Phase 3: Banned from youtube

Ralph's Youtube just got suspended due to false spam reports.

More details as the story unravels.

Attacked A Cop and went to jail lol

Because Ralph has gone total SJW, he wanted to show his sympathy for Black Lives Matter so he viciously attacked a cop. Seriously. Yes, this fat retarded drunk actually thought it would be a good idea to assault a cop who tried to kick him out of a hotel lobby after his drunk ass fell asleep on the floor there. Because of all of the money he made from his clickbait articles he is able to afford a public defender and not being able to pay the bail.

TheRalphRetort Arrested.jpg


Nuvola apps xmag.png Moar info: Lane Davis.

What about that time that Ralph "employed" a rabid conspiracy crank with a habit of biting the hands that fed him? Davis went from "Senior Political Analyst" to "Political Editor" then (when Ralph went to jail) to "Managing Editor" and was finally promoted to "wanted for murdering his own father with a kitchen-knife."

Oh yeah, that's right, you probably never heard of this at all, because when the shit hit the fan Ralph stabbed his trusted collaborator in the back like a Jew, denouncing him as a "33-year-old loser" (er, "political editor"?) who "had no regular income" (tell us about your staff pension scheme, Ralph).

Then, when he'd done bitching, Ralph deleted fucking everything about Davis from his site so that it would never embarrass him again, and took to Twitter where he pronounced himself the real victim of the sorry affair.

Ralph Today

Site Status: Today Ralph continues to run his forgotten blog for a dwindling audience of a mostly dead internet movement, desperately trying to come up with content by letting nobodies write editorials for him and forcefully attempting to turn every meaningless tweet into an article. All this so he can continue to cling to some last shred of e-fame.

Trolling Status: Ralph's trolls are growing at an alarming speed as he becomes crazier and crazier, yet no less credulous, making trolling him as easy as making up some lie about him and then watching him rage about it for months on end. ED continues to watch and document for your reading pleasure.

Agenda Status: Ethan has so far collectively disowned 8chan, r/KiA, and individually declared various gators dead to him along with 90% of GG in an attempt to purge the movement of moderates and turn it into an alt-right group he can lead. Unfortunately, he's not very good at this, so he just spams people on Twitter calling them "bitch" and "cunt" while a bunch of trolls who are trying to make him look bad do all the work for him and help him bully people offline in his stead.

The Great Irony: Ralph got his first taste of attention by attacking Leigh Alexander, calling her out for being an online bully with insane political views that she tries to silence people, drunk on imaginary power from running a blog.

Ralph has become Leigh Alexander.

Original YouTube content, do not steal

Because he somehow landed an interview with the retard behind Socialautopsy, Ralph thinks he is a highly respectable news agency now, and that he owns anything. Yes the guy who never owns up to anything, thinks he is big shit.

TheRalphRetort Copyright 1.jpg
ArchiveToday-favicon.pngThe tread is violating my copyright

That statement is pretty fucking funny, coming from a fat guy, who less than a year before was asking how to best download YouTube videos. Ralph, the main architect of his own demise.

TheRalphRetort Copyright 3.jpg
ArchiveToday-favicon.pngHelp me download from YouTube

TheRalphRetort Copyright 2.jpg
ArchiveToday-favicon.pngWorking better than KeepVid

2019: Doxville & #GuntGate

The events of 2019 were a staggering fall from grace for the begunted 'Ralphamale', after an almost flawless killstreak in 2018 things began rapidly rolling down hill, marked primarily by the gayest E-Celeb get-together ever witnessed by man. On January the 18th, Big Man Ralph along with his love shy orbiting companion Gator, a wig-bedecked Dick Masterson, a virgin cokehead, and some old man besieged the unfortunate town of Knoxville Tennessee, terrorising the innocent citizens with repulsive displays of immeasurable faggotry and social ineptitude for three long gruelling days, even going as far as to review bomb a bar out of evident butthurt.

On the 19th the event peaked during the ill-fated Valour Fighting Challenge where a drug-addled manlet would throw down with his wheelchair-bound no-show Injun rival, culminating in a win by default. Many lulz were had that day, and many remember it fondly, and was regarded as a success by the participants, and as painfully cringe inducing by those that watched in horror from a far.

Andy Warski's "Victory" Speech

Many memes were forced into existence from this over-extended travesty by the dribble-lipped helmet-heroes that populate Ralph's fan base, but one gem freed itself from the clutches of Ralph's ill-fitting clothes, and let it's existence be known to all: The Gunt. Many guffawed at the gnarled flesh of Ralph's hanging under-belly, and soon enough it began taking on a life of its own, even burying the forced memes in their own mediocrity, and when it became known that the Ralphamale fears the gunt, #GuntGate was born!

2020: Pool's Closed

Ralph gets party vanned in middle of a stream

On December 16th troubled Ethan Ralph, fatass and sexual deviant was arrested for revenge porn. His case was ultimately dismissed because the judge thought exposing the jury to Ralph's sex videos would violate the 8th Amendment for cruel and unusual punishment.

2021: When Gunts Collide

Do I look 5'1, bitch?


When gunts collide.png
No, you look more like 4'11

The gift that keeps on giving, the human lampoon, struck again in March of 2021. Ralph was dating Pantsu Party (IRL Powerword: Amanda Lyn Morris), who is the ex-girlfriend of, get this, Digibro, an old transvestite. Apparently, this cumdumpster left her shit in the Tranny's house for half a year when Digibro/Beatrix told her to come get her shit. With a fatass hillbilly in tow, the following slap fight took place;

What you witnessed there were not two Gas Giants colliding, but a faggot producer of the Dick Show, known as Riley, getting pulled into a coplanar orbit by a gunt of similar size and mass. Riley and Ralph exchanged insults and gravity waves, which eventually escalates to Ralph committing home evasion by walking inside the house uninvited. Riley socks him in his face, and then everyone but the Tranny jumps in. In the end, Ralph begged for his cell phone back (lol he dropped it in the house) and played himself off as the victim and IRL tough guy after delivering one last sucker punch;

Ethan shill.png

It was later determined by ED's crack forensic team that Ethan Ralph is in fact 5'2. But only when laying flat on his back with his gunt pointed toward the heavens.

Ethan Ralph v. Myles Poland

In late 2021 some washed-up "The Amazing Atheist" wannabe Adam Greene got into a debate over whether jesus was made up by the Jews or not with host of dissident right christian podcast The Godcast, Myles Poland, this fight was moderated by good ol’ ralphy boy. As expected, Greene got buttraped by Myles Poland, this triggered a flamewar on fediverse website poast, in which Ethan was mercilessly mocked by the users when a internet tough guy post became a copypasta.


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Zoe Quinn

Mighty No. 9
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Gone Home

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Ian Miles Cheong
Phil Fish
m00t sells out
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Jimbo Wales
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Ben Kuchera
Jonathan McIntosh

Randi Harper
Shanley Kane
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Leigh Alexander

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Sarah Butts
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Brianna Wu
Chloe Sagal

Arthur Chu
Milo Yiannopoulos
Peter Coffin
Tim Schafer

Sarkeesian Effect
Vivian James

GG Faggots
*Nods Respectfully*
Tom Preston

DQ Sim
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Cathedral of Misogyny
Law & Order
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Kung Fu Guy

Other People and Sites That Got Involved:

People: Videogame "Journalists"Videogame ReviewersAdam BaldwinCameron BakerAnne RiceWilliam ShatnerJoss WhedonHideki KamiyaBoogie2988JonTronEgoraptorChris ChanAhuviya Harel/ADF-Fuensalidam00tA Man in BlackNick DentonEllen PaoDerek SmartDarksydePhilMrRepzionSuey Park‎Richard DawkinsRichard StallmanNerdcubedJoshua IdehenVordrakFilthy FrankJim SterlingValisHDShoe0nHeadTotalBiscuitTheamazingatheistThunderf00tJulian AssangeWeevIcze4rGeorge R.R MartinStephen ColbertRoosh VNorthBySouthBaranofIronholdsGabe and TychoMaddoxFaggot Who Started OWSSceptre‎TheRalphRetortChris KluweTauriq MoosaParkourDude91The Wannabe DickridersJewWarioTodd in the ShadowsLordKatAngry JoeMaxofs2dCowkittyAsalieriJerry PeetCraig BrittainSir WulfingtonAlex WuoriAndrew HussieTransFrequencyDylann Storm RoofSargon of Akkad.

Sites: RedditVoatRationalWikiSJWiki76chanTwitterWikipediaTGWTGBoingBoingVICEGOGTheMarySueStormFrontScrewAttackThe EscapistBuzzfeedSalonPatreonJezebelSomething AwfulTV Trope4chanEncyclopedia Dramatica ForumsEncyclopedia Dramatica.

Others: FacadeCards Against HumanityGNAABill Waggoner CrewMSNBC/CNN/BBC etcThe GuardianElectronic ArtsIntelAdobeGoogleShirtgateMillion Dollar ExtremeHatredPostal 2BaphometAnonymousGamersEverybody else on the internet and their dog.

Minor Related Pages: Censored article about Brianna WuList of people to annoy with your bullshitSarah Butts FFshrine chatlogsList of people defending Butts' pedophiliaThe DMCA butts sent usMilo Yiannopoulos - The feminist versionShanley Kane's butthurt rantThe Great Gawker Implosion of 2015Skype Con Leak.

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Alex LealBaphometBen KucheraBrenton TarrantBrianna WuBrianna Wu for CongressBritPolBrownpillByuuCiaracow/Dick MastersonDUN DUNEbola-chanEllen PaoEncyclopedia DramaticaEthan RalphFrank HassleGamerGateHe Will Not Divide UsHitler Top TensJenny McDermottJim WatkinsJohn EarnestJust Fuck My Shit UpKekistanKero The WolfKimmyKraut and TeaLeftypol/Lord FoxworthMaddoxMargaret PlessMeme MagicMoon ManMootm00t's GamerGate SelloutNate SpidgewoodNeoGAFNiggest Crook ForceNolongersilencedNullOperation Timebomb v2ParkourDude91Patrick CrusiusPeter CoffinPol/QAnonSalonSam HydeSarah AndersenSarah ButtsShrekchanSkype Con LeakSol PaisSteam friend threadTakedownmanTimboxThe Great Habbo Raid of July 2015Tyler MalkaValentine's Day MassacreVordrakWyatt MannYoutubeWakeUpZoe QuinnZozzle

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