Note: this is an article about
an a former Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit their talk page.
...apparently under the impression that people would actually miss them, or even notice they were gone.
THEY WERE WRONG
||This person has Assburgers Syndrome, |
so you can't say anything bad! :-(
Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
Were you looking for Immelmann?
— Eve Justice, teasing the furfag
TheDOSFag, as depicted by Majora
Encyclopaedia Dramatica is a website well known for its friendly, inviting, community. And every so often the stars will align and the forums are graced with a special kind of snowflake. Today, dear friends, we shall recount the tale of TheDOSFag. A literary genius who was dragged to our humble forums to request help writing an article on the wiki, and how we helped him to do so.
The Call to Battle (and how it went unheeded)
TheDOSFag came to us with a conundrum. He needed help to recount the story of a rather unsavory character called Immelmann. Confused, the members of the forum asked for clarification on the matter, as the subject of his ire was a man of little note. They suggested that since he knew the comings and goings of this person it would be only logical that he should be the bard to sing the tale. However, this assessment produced intense anger on his part as he bade the members of our forum to remember the songs of yesteryear. Regrettably for him, the community stated firmly that a different style of song was in vogue presently. Furthermore, they found his single-minded obsession with his chosen topic highly curious.
Revelations (of furfaggotry)
While the fellowship of the forum voiced their suspicions that all was not as it seemed, nothing happened until one intrepid user struck out on their own to find the truth. Under the guise of an innocent girl, this user approached TheDOSFag inconspicuously and earned his trust. After revealing his innermost literary aspirations, the mark of the beast was revealed to all.
Previous Quote | Next Quote
As the argument went on the immensity of TheDOSFag's lies began to consume him and he revealed himself to be not only a beast, but also of simple mind. In an effort to save face, TheDOSFag decided to state that his literary pursuits were intended only to provoke ire in those who consorted with beasts, insisting that no words of his could be twisted to satisfy their unholy desires. However, the desperation of his pleas and the wild shifting of his eyes left no one convinced. Unable to accept his true nature, he was ridiculed, derided, and cast out in disgrace. Thereafter, the fellowship of good friends on the forum raised their glasses in celebration, remaining ever vigilant lest TheDOSFag try to once again claim a place among them.
The epic battle was documented
The beast speaks
After TheDOSFag valiantly retreated, he decided his best option would be to spy on the enemy. Unfortunately for our hero, the conspirators had a secret weapon.
Thus the second battle began, TheDOSFag expressed the fact that he was extremely talented and that he would go on to gain a status of legend with his literature. To his surprise, the beast had sent a messenger to state that although the child had not been true to himself, there was still hope for him to reform to his true nature.
Angered by the deity claiming that he was one of it's children, TheDOSFag stormed away, vowing never to return.
...said the furry
Because he is important enough for there to be questions frequently asked about him, our intrepid autist decided to spend 3 hours writing a FAQ about himself in hopes this would "end the trouble", while at the same time, failing to realize that nobody gives a shit about him, and that he only made himself look like a complete fucking crybaby. Here's what he had to say:
You can find an "unedited" version here.
I wrote this up a few hours ago, I edited it to take my anger at a few specific people out of it.
I am writing this so that I can FINALLY get things to end so that I can FINALLY get some peace. Also, I don’t think it’s a good Idea for you people to treat someone who is genuinely wanting to contribute to your site as if they were trying to vandalize it. It’s appalling to think that you people turn on yourselves so fast like a pack of tiger sharks at the faintest glimmer of one of you being different from your ideal vision of what someone should be. Well I’ve got news for you, and I learned this from Hipcrime himself: <📣>nobody’s perfect.</📣> We all have negative qualities. There’s no need to abuse people for not being exactly like you. Now without further ado, let’s get on to the answering of the questions I’m asked so often:
Q 1) Why are you still here?
A) Because I am still wanting to make contributions to the site in order to better the content.
Q 2) What is it that you are wanting to contribute?
A) I have the pages that I was working on before all this happened, such as Immelmann, and my main purpose for wanting to be here is contribute to pages dealing with fursecution and also the need of grammar policing. I also want to work on other things that I can’t give concise explanation to at the moment, because I’ve had my concentration taken away from my work for so long with this debacle that I hadn’t had the time to consider anything else. If you were one of the people who harassed me and kept telling me I wasn’t contributing anything to the site, that’s because you were actively keeping me from accomplishing that.
Q 3) Why do you care so much about your user pages?
A) If I’m not allowed to customize my user space in any way I see fit like <📣>everyone else on the site,</📣> then it should have been made clear to me from the start. If you give someone the liberty to use such a resource, <📣>then don’t criticize them for doing it.</📣> I care because I spent a long time getting everything to be how I want them to be on my user pages, just like everyone else who cares to use such a thing, and I don’t like people toppling down my proverbial sand castle. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Consider it a little apartment you rented out during your stay at wherever. You want to make it as comfortable as possible for yourself, so you rearrange it to fit your style. You’d be devastated if someone were to break into your home and destroy all that you had set up. That’s where I stand on my user pages. You wouldn’t want me to shit in your flowerbed, so don’t shit all over mine.
Q 4) Why are you so serious about this?
A) I’ve already gone into vivid detail about this one, and you people harassed me for it.
Q 5) What are you going to do about the harassment now?
A) I am planning to take a new approach on this issue from now on. I am going to handle this like a mature adult and use non-violent civil disobedience. I was inspired by the teachings of Dr. King and his stance in the civil rights movement. I will not act out anymore upon the harassment in any negative way. This will show that I am truly doing no wrong to deserve such things as banishment or crass abuse for no reason other than you have nothing to do with your life than try (and fail, mind you) to make an autistic child cry. Like I’ve stated before, I will no longer respond to anything the abusers of mine say to me from now on, good or bad, so that they will finally get tired of it and leave me to get back to being a useful and contributing individual of this establishment. I have stated time and time again that I will not stand for this abuse just for being here and reacting just like <📣>any normal person would</📣> to all you people did to me.
Q 6) What if you get banned again?
A) Then I’ll wait it out. Besides, the time just gives me more time to do things with my life that I haven’t been able to do when I started with this site. I have realized there is no need to fret, the bans will only be temporary, and whatever anyone does to my user space can be reversed. There will be no more angry reactions from me, your actions will be in vain, and you’ll just be wasting your time, just like how you wasted my time all through this week.
Q 7) Why are you not afraid to tell people that you are autistic?
A) Because it’s just a part of who I am, it does not mean that I can’t be a normal member of society. It’s a minor disability, I’m not the type of person to abuse it as an all-use excuse to getting out of every negative situation. If you knew about me in real life, you’d almost completely forget I’m an autistic. I’m able to socialize decently and act like a person without autism. Besides, I’m not the only one who is autistic on this site. I don’t see you people harassing LoverOfBats for his autism, so why do it to me? Why not poke fun at Lazy for being an alcoholic, while you’re at it? Am I so different? The answer is no. Get over it.
Q 8) Are you a furry of any kind?
A) Ha ha, no. I’m not. I never have been, and I never will be. I’ve had such negative experiences with them in the past that I try my damnedest to put a stop to them in my life at some level. You can stop calling me one, because it is not and never will be true. It’s the same as if I tried to harass Zaiger, calling him a fat dyke. It’s foolish and goes nowhere because it’s unbelievably stupid. Even with all of the “oh so subtle” hints I put <📣>all over my user space</📣> that <📣>I absolutely despise furries,</📣> people still think that’s in any way close to the truth about me? If you haven’t guessed it yet, and if you have any doubts about this subject, no. I’m not. Now stop calling me one. It’s just a feeble attempt to get under my skin and make you feel better about yourself for a few more seconds before you go back to hating yourself and do it again to me or to someone else. P.S. As of writing this, I am officially apologizing to Phobos, Homicide and Boudica for the trouble I've caused them, though at the moment, I can't say the same for anyone else who's harassed me recently.
His reaction to the article
The poor deluded furfag denier claims to be working his way to a posh literary career, but has the grammatical skills of a second grader with downs syndrome. His reaction, although somewhat well written, for an asspie, still shows great inclination to slap the air with his hands in an attempt to ward off the massive rape orgy, bathed in the milk of his own lolcow teats. He has not realized that the rape train has no brakes and will run down all lolcows that try to banter and beg their way out of the onslaught that they bring upon themselves. Below is the choicest of 1% grade A lulz milk fresh from his udders to your glass.
I am writing this to try and persuade you to have my article removed. I read through it and I found absolutely none of it to be true about me, and it is nothing more than an attack article, by the standards of the site. I would like it removed as I don't have really any reason to have an article, much less an article filled with nothing but lies. I am wanting to actually be able to hold a job in the near future, specifically in book writing, and I don't want to have this shitty attack article get in the way of that. I also am proposing that if this request is done, I will completely leave the site and the forums for good. When I leave, I give permission to remove all my user pages, as I will obviously not need them anymore. Also, If possible, I would appreciate the two threads I created on the forums be removed as well, since I don't want the drama I've unknowingly at the time to follow me anymore. Especially since a few private conversations were posted on them that show content I thought was being kept private, which should immediately warrant them being labeled as an invasion of privacy. Again, as promised, as soon as these things are done, I will leave the site for good. I hope that this letter will let you understand my situation. -ಠ_ಠ☢ 20:36, 5 June 2015 (EDT)
- And exactly how is an article about you getting in the way of your book writing career? ••General Niggerson 20:49, 5 June 2015 (EDT)
- When I finally come out with what I'm writing, I would immediately be identified considering I posted about what I'm writing in a private conversation that someone decided to post on a public thread. I don't want to have future writing careers ruined by a shitty attack article. -ಠ_ಠ☢ 20:54, 5 June 2015 (EDT)
- Look, that article about you wouldn't have affected you in any way if you had kept your fucking mouth shut on the forums. ••General Niggerson 21:01, 5 June 2015 (EDT)
- How the fuck was I supposed to know that Eve Justice would post our ENTIRE PM for everyone to see? I just want it all gone so I can finally be able to get a good night's sleep for once in my pathetic existence. -ಠ_ಠ☢ 21:05, 5 June 2015 (EDT)
- Lol I almost just banned you but it would detract from the hilarious content you are unwittingly creating. If you want to leave then go but nothing is being deleted. I gave you multiple chances when people wanted to ban you and even advised you to chill the fuck out but you completely ignored my advice. This is your own doing. You can either leave and keep it at that or continue to sperg and create more content for your article. It's your decision. --Mantequilla (talk) 21:09, 5 June 2015 (EDT)
- I agree whole-heartedly. DOS, you were shielded from the abuse you were receiving and given specific instructions on how to act, but you failed to follow them. Instead of contributing to the wiki (which you claimed you were only trying to do the entire time), you continued insulting other users on the forums and turning yourself into the heel of the site.
- Your future "career" should be just fine so long as you never author your books under the pseudonym DOSFag. Vermin 21:52, 5 June 2015 (EDT)
- DOS you are EXTREMELY LUCKY you haven't been doxed yet. I would drop it and leave it alone before your real name is the title of that page. --Mantequilla (talk) 22:07, 5 June 2015 (EDT)
- Ooh, that would make things more interesting. ••General Niggerson 22:10, 5 June 2015 (EDT)
- You chumpy fuck, on what sane and sensible resume are you going to put "TheDOSFag"? I've gotten plenty of jobs without ED getting in my way, but that's probably because I'm not a goddamned retard. »»What 22:26, 5 June 2015 (EDT)
- I know, right? I've told plenty of people I'm a contributor to ED and have invited them to check the site out on account of how much fun I have here. My roommate has sat next to me while I've posted on the forums, and at least one of my friends has said he's seen my user page and found it amusing. I warned him there were nudes and gay Photoshops of me out there and he just laughed about it. Vermin 23:01, 5 June 2015 (EDT)
- The only thing getting in the way of your book career is your utter lack of skill, you pathetic hack. oddguy 02:51, 6 June 2015 (EDT)
He needs to prepare his anus.
If I even see a book of his printed imma sell him out quicker than I would a jew in the holocaust. You done fucked up boy, now bend over and take it like a she man. --— Preceding unsigned comment added by Isnotright (talk • contribs)
Even Mantequilla can't help him now. He was too much of a faggot that his Editor status has been revoked:
(User rights log); 21:26 . . Mantequilla (Talk | contribs | ræp) changed group membership for User:TheDOSFag from Editors to (none) (removed from cart)
Round 2: Empty Closet Forums
Did you think our story was over? No dear reader, there is more. If The Tigerwolf Effect has taught us anything, it's that "once a faggot, always a faggot." This exceptional bard, this inspired storyteller, could not remain silent about his prior disgrace. Little did he know, that ED sees all. And thus he spelled out his own downfall. With his guard down he revealed far more to his new companions than he ever did while masquerading as a troll. In addition to further elaboration about his dalliances into written fiction, he revealed his darkest secret. TheDOSFag fucks stuffed animals. Yes, you read that right. He jacks it to little Suzie's dollies.
And if that wasn't enough, the forum he chose went absolutely apeshit when ED deigned to merely inform them of his prior behavior. He immediately started to act as if he was not scared in the least, confident of his position as the moderation team of autists swung the banhammer left and right to defend his honor and even shut down registration despite being raided by a grand total of two people. However, a coward will always be a coward and a bitch will always be a bitch. And once the conversation was capped and the jig was up, he ran like a bitch to parts unknown, and his friends promptly tried to cleanse his dishonor from their ranks. As before, this has all been documented for your later perusal and enjoyment. However, we have selected some choice tidbits to whet your appetite.
- He hates Boudica, apparently because she called him dumb on his talk page, or some shit.
- He is a closet furry. Though he desperately tries to cover it up, it shows in some way or another.
- He also hates Homicide for rightfully vandalizing his shitty userpage after Phobos ræped him repeatedly in the ass.
- Whenever he gets butthurt, he writes rambling walls of text on the TJC about how he's been "victimized". He even cries to Mantequilla about it as well on his talk page, as shown in the picture above.
- If you say his userpage is shitty (which it is), he will go completely apeshit.
- He flounced from ED. In a desperate attempt to get the sysop's attention, he failed to realize that nobody gives a shit about him.
- He has been dubbed by NKO as Onideus the Second for his retarded behavior.
- He has Assburgers Syndrome. In fact, he uses it as an excuse to act like a fucktard OTI, despite what he said in his TJC and talk page posts.
- He is a disgraced Encyclopedia Dramatician.
- His Editor status has been revoked, and rightfully so.
- He claims that he is an English major, even though he's still in high school.
- He is obsessed with transformers.
- He was involved in an intense flamewar of EDF2. Read all 45 pages for complete coverage.
—TheDOSFag, trying desperately to defend himself on EDF2 after being found out for his furfaggotry.
From the autist himself
See his gallery for more autism.
||TheDOSFag is part of a series on Aspies.