Terri Schiavo

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Dhurr... Dhurr... More Protein Paste, doctor!.
Having finally triumphed in the courts, Michael inputs the appropriate secret code.
Image Macro found on the Internets shortly after Terri's demise.
Terri in her new porno.
Terri Schiavo at feeding time.

Terri Schiavo was a former ana/mia who went into a persistent vegetative state after a fit of thinspiration. Her vegetarianism was caused by cardiac arrest brought on by an electrolyte imbalance from her eating disorder. Her husband, Michael Schiavo, wanted to kill her from fear of voyeuristic nurses walking in on him having sex with his vegetable wife in a hospice. Though she had been removed from the feeding tube, there were rumors that she seemed to be getting some sustenance after her husband's visits.

Schiavo had been a great source of lulz during March of 2005. Her feeding tube was inserted and removed constantly over the years, and it required the courts and Congress to intervene, and various communities to have Schiavo-thons over that last month.

Good ol' boy Jesse Jackson even piped in to get his face back in the national media. Arriving in a white stretch limo he made a brief speech saying that it was inhumane to not even give her water, or ice for her chapped lips, and damn, can't the bitch get a slurpee?

On October 15, 2003 the Florida legislature passed and Florida Governor Jeb Bush (who heard of Schiavo's case after watching veggie tales) signed "Terri's Law," which named her the official state vegetable of Florida.

Broken News!

Terri Schiavo (formerly a bulimic slut) was permabanned irl on 31 March, 2005. Her parents immediately returned to court for the right to control the body. They plan to re-animate the body with hydraulic motors after previously rejecting a Haitian priest's offer to perform a zombie resurrection ceremony on the grounds that it was against her Catholic beliefs. Her husband would most likely allow both under the condition that he can use the zombie cyborg for his needs.

On 15 June, 2005, the internets went berserk when the autopsy reports said what the husband was saying all along - she was just a no good two dollar whore and more braindead than an anencephalic fetus.

March 31 2005 to Eternity : Terri Schiavo's soul burns in hell.

14 June 4365: Terri Schiavo is resurrected by Omegra-thong, dark alien lord of Neopets-controlled earth. In order to extract more spinal fluid from lethargic, corporate-controlled humans, he changes Schiavo into a freaky soulless vampire ghost-whore who is to star in many animés.

Notable LiveJournal/Internet Links

  • Lj-favicon.png terrischiavo, why does no one ask her what she wants?
  • Lj-favicon.png liberal has a number of fun posts on our Veggie Tales guest star, including one user who is attempting to count down to 0 the amount of Schiavo posts that get posted.
  • Lj-favicon.png conservatism has discussed it to a lesser standpoint, choosing to see Schiavo, with, literally, soup for brains, as a sentient being capable of recovery.
  • Lj-favicon.png terri_has_risen, seen via Throwingstardna, whose gimmick is that Schiavo voted for George Bush via morse code.
  • Two of perhaps more "Fifty Schiavo Posts" within the liberal community (one may have been deleted already).
  • Lj-favicon.png kill_terri is a community full of people who want Terri dead, so they can stop hearing about her on the news.


See Also

External Links