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The United Republic of Tanzania is a shitty country in East Africa(Also known as East AidsVille) and arguably, the most corrupted country in that portion of the continent. It completes the gay trio of East Africa made of Uganda ,Kenya and itself.The “united” part comes from the fact Tanzania=Tanganyika + Zanzibar(a country island made of sand niggers)


In the 18th century, nothing of importance happened. The niggers were just giving birth to niglets, farming, and worshiping non-existent forest gods. During the 19th century, before Adolf Hitler came to power, Germany was ruling over Tanzania. Rulership shifted to Britain after World War I and things changed. The British Brought education, common sense, religion, and english to the disease ridden land.

Short Story of Independence

A tribal nigger named Julius Nyerere decided that a life of herding and having sex with animals was no good for him,he decided to go to white man's school. He was lucky enough to pass and continued to University ( at that time there was only one university in whole of East Africa) and passed also there. He then got a job as a teacher , got bored again and decided to lead Tanganyika to independence I.e join the politics. He formed a gay organization of men called TANU and proceeded to plead to the UN to get independence.

Eventually he became the president. He hacked the political system to become socialist and Tanganyika became one of the pokemon cards of Soviet Russia. This formed a great relationship of leaching stuff from Soviet union,in fact Nyerere was liked so much by Soviet Russia he got the Lenin peace prize(Russia's clone of the Nobel peace prize). Followed a period of free loaders getting free stuff because thats what Socialism does.

Some years later Tanzania went to war with Uganda over the dispute of a small fucking territory. Nyerere got lucky and pwned Idi Amin (see Forest Whitaker) and the day was saved. Then he proceeded to become a Dictator for 26 years and became bored again as usual so he left office and let other niggers run for presidency(the ones he liked of course). After the fall of the Soviet Union, Tanganyika then proceeded to suck USA's dick and became Capitalist. Long story short, Shops and cars started appearing and free loaders had to get jobs .

Summary of Nyerere's retarded policies

  • Introduced Ujamaa (familyhood) , a really gay form of socialism which encouraged gay incest orgies. Ujamaa depended only on agriculture,agriculture & agriculture.(Learn more)
  • He exiled his political opponents(those who expressed different opinions) . Some argue this was better than killing them.

Nyerere's Fails

  • All the above didnt work
  • He died from cancer (lol)

Nyerere Wins

Modern Tanzania(now)

  • A fucked up education system (99% theory 1% practical) , the only way to pass is to memorize stuff you don't know and have no social life.
  • An horrible form of music called Taarab you will commit suicide after listening to this,guaranteed.
  • Niggers have cell phones
  • Corruption.
  • Corruption.
  • It's fucking hot man.

Good things about Tanzania

  • It's peaceful (by Africa standards)
  • Things are cheap.
  • Passion fruit flavoured Fanta.
  • The Hot Bread Shop in Moshi, even if it is owned by Arab
  • They have got good weed(In Arusha state)
  • It's easy to get laid if you are a foreigner.

Ways to troll Tanzanian's

  1. Tell them Mount Kilimanjaro is in Kenya (although it is in Tanzania) , when they defend themselves,tell them they don't know Geography, this will cause them to become butthurt.
  2. Tell them Tanzania is the most corrupted country in East Africa.
  3. Tell them English is Tanzania's official language (it is not but it is used so much that it is)
  4. Troll them by saying bongo flava(tanzania hiphop) is really bad and lacks any real talent (most songs are about love and/or being raped)
  5. Tell them again that Tanzania is so corrupted you can't believe how easy it is to bribe cops(99% of police are corrupted)
  6. Tell them the Masaai (a famous tribe) is only in Kenya (it is actually the opposite)
  7. Tell them by saying Tanzania sucks at every sport that exists (Tanzania is the only country in the world with niggers who can't win at any sport)
  8. Tell Tanzania's military can't fight for shit, they would lose and be conquered in square root of 0.1 seconds. In fact the Guinness world record for shortest war ever goes to Zanzibar(Zanzibar is part of Tanzania) see TOW
  9. Tell them Tanzania is not a democratic country (it is in school books ,the same party(CCM) has won the elections since ancient times)
  10. Tell them again that Tanzania is so corrupted (Sir Dick Chande,an Indian mafia boss who purchased knighthood aka 'Sir title' from Britain)

See also

External Links

If you didn't die from the Taarab video

Typical tourist site

Troll this video Do it!

Typical Journalism

Tanzania retarded forum Troll here(go to the english section) for the lulz

National website Nothing interesting here unless you want to learn about Tanzania.

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