Super Planet Dolan
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Super Planet Dolan, also known as other internet Cancers like Planet Dolan and Danger Dolan, is another run of the mill, Youtube channel that thinks it's being edgy and intellectually stimulating by being another Top Ten channel doing already done bad ideas such as "The Top Ten Sailor Moon Characters With The Tighest Pussies From Loosest To Tightest," or by answering unispired questions from its grade 3 viewers that most could find answers to in one-tenth the time it takes to watch one of their videoes, without the bad voice acting and lousy animation, by using Google or Yahoo! such as, "If a person has been blind all their life, what do they dream of?". As they exist in an already saturated market with an uncountable number of channels doing it way better than them it's no wonder Danger Dolan pretty much only gives a half-hearted interest to his pet project, prefering to let others do all the work for him.
For the most part, the videoes that are put on Jewtube under the title or name of Super Planet Dolan are the secondary market. The primary function of the channel is to serve as advertisment for the members of Super Planet Dolan that entices viewers to visit the Patreons and websites of Planet Dolan members where they E-Beg for Shekels or push their Child Pornographic art that, pretending to be lawyers, they claim is safe for purchase in the entirity of the USA, UK and Canada.
Danger Dolan Power Word Daniel James Johnson is an over 30 something, soulless ginger, failure of a man, Australian Sheep Fucker that aspires to be another Peter Scully but is too damn Lazy to begin his life goal and won't ever accomplish it unless he can find someone stupid enough to do it for him and sign his name to all their work.
Daniel fancies himself as some crazed ass hippy, from the 60s, handing out a poorly Xeroxed newspaper, Internet Jihadist or an overly liberal instructor at DeVry that believes he has an inside to all the knowledge and information that The Man doesn't want any of us to know. Discernably, the whole of his information is no more life-changing than a three year old announcing that water is wet.
Much to the fancy of the average crack smoking, high school drop out that is only known for making voices in the back of the class when he did show up, Daniel believes himself noteworthy and at the pinnacle of the evolution of Animu and animation because he can talk in a stoned lazy, haughty voice and can barely make a watchable animation using Scratch and other scrips with less capabilities than your average 13-year-old boy. If you ever were watching a youtube channel and thought, "Hell! I can do better that that." You were probably watching Super Planet Dolan.
Like many retards on the Internets that fancy themselves intellectuals Daniel sees himself as being way above his average viewer in intellect and believes he is blowing minds with his 4th grade trivia knowledge explaining why the sky is blue. It's because of Rayleigh scattering, look it up.
Danger Dolan Twitter Hacked
It really says something about the value of an electronic media account when someone can hack it and then delete everything contained on it with nobody noticing. Not the owner of the account. Not the die hard fans. Nobody.
Like a thief in the night, (They claim lulz), someone broke the intricate and near impossible password for twitter, ("being an Aussie it was probably Sheep_bludger_bushie_bub_69"), deleted the name from twitter and no one cared to notice until after week or so following the event when all of Dolan's intellectually stimulating and universe shattering tweets had been erased from the servers.
Fortunately, nothing of value was lost.
Golden-Gooby is an overweight, telentless, Furfag otherkin that likes to imagine herself pretty, skinny and as some sort of Disney styled, half-breed dog/mermaid mix that looks something oddly like Goofy having had a love child with a fish. Trying to be mysterious, she claims to be mute and can only communicate through written word. There are two possible reasons for this, Daniel Johnson either cut out her tongue so she would keep quiet about all his Child Sex tourist trips to Cambodia during the summer season along with the secret Child Porn sales and production that are secretly happening through Super Planet Dolan and its creators or she is a Retard which would explain her willingness to open up her legs for a soulles ginger who has no real prospects or upward mobility to be able to move out of the steel lawn shed in his parent's back yard like Danger Dolan.
Talentless and intellectually challanged, it's no wonder she was chosen to be the art director for Super Planet Dolan the first time she drank Daniel Johnson's sperm which explains Super Planet Dolan's slow descent from, at its best, mediocrity into what can only be seen to believed when the description of all around shit is being used to describe their production values.
Unlike other Super Planet Dolan members Golden-Gooby has yet to reveal her real name, again, thinking that it makes her appear more mysterious, a more feminine, animalistic predator of men. Anyone who has ever looked at her knows that Manatees are mostly herbivores and experts have suggested that they may have given rise to the mermaid legends of old where horny sailors confused them for a half women, half fish breeds.
Probably finding her injured on the Great Barrier Reef, Daniel Johnson wishing for some kind of fish sex probably brought her home, patched her up and after a few months of captivity started introducing his pet whale Golden-Gooby to everyone as his girlfriend to the acceptance and adulation of his neighbors because, now they knew Daniel wouldn't be leaving stains on their bushes from his constant masturbating outside their children's windows.
Like so many of the intelluctually challangened, barely holding onto reality occupants populating the internets Golden-Gooby prefers the made up, imaginary world of her own design because she gets to be skinny, pretty and interesting in a world of her own creation and rules and doesn't have to play Cum Catcher to some monstrosity like Danger Dolan because she's not pretty enough to do anything but be a bottom feeder.
Daniel Johnson's Creativity Knows No Bounds
Like many of the members of Super Planet Dolan, Daniel is a completly uninspired, uncreative tracer of an artist. If any of you out there remember the old Uncle Dolan or Dolan Duk meme from 99 years ago then you are already familiar with where Daniel found the inspiration for his character avatar of Danger Dolan.
Although Daniel's creativity would be best compared to Chris Chan in that he takes someone elses pre-existing work, makes minor edits to it and calls it an original piece, Daniel is also rather truthful when he admits to his avatar's race as a sponge.
As sponges are best known for planting their ass to one place for life and doing nothing but stuffing their face while the rest of the world moves around them, this is probably the most truthful statement Daniel has ever made about himself.
If he would only put half as much thought into his web series then he might have something that can be watched by people over the age of 13 that doesnt require the pre-existing condition of autism to watch a video in its entirety.
Daniel Gets His Fans To E-Beg For Him
As discussed earlier, being the lazy ass piece of shit that he is, Daniel Johnson, or rather Danger Dolan, has convinced his fans that the new Jewtube rules will make it unprofitable for him to produce his videoes and he will have to close down shop unless he can get more money. Not wanting to do it himself, Daniel has gotten his loyal fans to do the bulk of the work for him.
Comparable to $cientologists trying to sell $200 e-readings to the stupid, Daniel has sent his faithful out on the streets to beg for his Jew Gold because he has made it known that if he doesn't get more, he'll quit. Needing their fix of animated CP and stupid videoes, Daniel has his fans by the balls and being the stupid, autistic fucks that they are that refuse to accept change - Daniel has found another way to just sit around, smoke dope, play video games and do nothing because he has the stupid volunteering to beg for and send him money.
Daniel Johnson On Australia's Aboriginals
Lacking any and all flair in his description, Daniel has referred to Australia's Aboriginal Tribes as "Dirt Niggers" that have no respect for the White Man and will break into his house and property to burn it all to the ground because they have no concept of ownership or property and think that by doing stupid shit like this they are taking back Australia.
Daniel has said that Australia needs to copy a page from America's book and beat a little respect into its Native Tribes through some good old fashioned, justifiable hate crimes to whip them into shape because,
right now, they don't even deserve the name of nigger because niggers, at least, contribute something to society.
Chris Chan And Super Planet Dolan
In April of 2017 the Super Planet Dolan members decided to elaborately troll Chris Chan and convinced that it was somehow still 2005, their goal was to GASP expose Chris to the internets for the joke that everyone already knows he is.
Already having an inside in that he actively sought out Chris Chan, sucked him off at a DC Animu convention, had been communicating with Chris and taking money from him for close to a year, they decided to use their resident Thai lady/boy Doopie DoOver as the honey pot they needed to get Chris' attention.
Lacking the conviction to see his role through and looking to ride the sympathy train by pulling a play from Chris' book, Doopie claimed that the attention he was getting from posing as a love-quest goal for Chris Chan was just to stressfull for him. Blaming Chris' creepy behaviour that had been perfectly fine for an entire year, Doopie DoOver cut all ties with Chris and then quickly moved to Kiwi Farms where he basked in the adoration of 14-year-old virgin boys for his now famous ability to cleverly swindle a retard.
Chris' history with girls and boys pretending to be girls usually has him declared the villain because of his social ineptitude and belief that he can own a person, it is actually Doopie who has received the majority of the disparaging criticism as all the rule 34 drawings he sent Doopie, all of Chris' sexualized conversations and the posessiveness were all perfectly fine right up until Doopie didn't like the negative attention he was getting and looked to use these same exact behaviours as an excuse to dump his friendship, that he pushed for, with Chris.
It is because of this that most people have become aware of Doopie's personality and see him as a backstabbing E-whore that will even steal money from the intellectually challanged. Planet Dolan members like Hellbent have been trying to salvage Doopie's ruined reputation by White Knighting him and putting all the blame on Chris to very little success.
This Saga is better read Here.
Family Friendly Entertainment
Looking to follow the Disney model and maximize his market, Daniel Johnson has a no cussing rule in place so that he can have the appearance of being as family friendly and child safe as Mickey Mouse. Consequently, this rule doesn't extend to his staff's extracurricular activities and some, like Doopie DoOver have made quite the name for themselves producing Child Pornographic drawings and images of underage characters from Animu and Americunt animation.
Members like Hellbent, have tried to defend such transgressions by saying that the age of consent is all that matters despite the United States Department Of Justice saying, "the age of consent for sexual activity in a given state is irrelevant; any depiction of a minor under 18 years of age engaging in sexually explicit conduct is illegal."
Being an artist from Australia, and obviously an expert in British and American law, Daniel Johnson, looking to protect his members source of revenue, has said there is no law in the UK or U.S. that makes Hentai Drawings of underage characters engaged in sex acts illegal, obviously missing the Coroners and Justice Act 2009, sections 62-68 or U.S. Code § 1466A - which covers Obscene visual representations of the sexual abuse of children in the U.S.
Most companies like Nintendo, Disney, Sega or just about anyone who looks to make money by NOT being the corporate version of someone's creepy uncle would Instantly fire any employee they found doing such crimes. Unfortunately this is Super Planet Dolan which is run by one of the laziest fucks on the planet and if it means not doing work himself, Daniel will keep them on staff so long as they keep picking up his slack.
Super Planet Dolan Actively Defends Its Homophobic Members
— Dolan's Brother refusing an offer from an ED editor to write for Planet Dolan
—Ed Editor's reply to Dolan's Brother
Super Planet Dolan Supports Child Pornography
They would rather associate with a pedophile that is best known across the internets for producing Animated Child Porn that includes Mai, Misty and Sakura from Pokemon, Rebecca Hopkins and Serenity Wheeler from Yu-Gi-Oh and Chibi Moon from Sailor Moon and defend his rights to see children as sex objects then follow the Hollywood example of getting rid of a pervert once they have been found out, especially a child molester. It is best read HERE.
What The Danger Dolan Brand Considers Family Friendly Fun
Dolan's Mysterious Brother
Also known as Zaragamba and Brother Dolan, Dolan's Mysterious Brother is that poor soul of a man that has to endure his relationship being Danger Dolan's older brother.
Perhaps it's the fact that he was adopted, not born ginger and with a soul or hasn't made some secret arrangement with the Illuminati to help in the dumbing down of our children with bad youtube videoes but when it comes to this diseased baby hole that's called Super Planet Dolan, he is their absolvment or rather that bar of gold dropped in the shit water of an outhouse that many will dive in for.
Americunt scientists have asked for access to his blood because he seems to be immune to that Douchebag virus that infects anyone who has ever breathed Australian air like Mel Gibson, Nicole Kidman, Olivia Newton-John, Kylie Minogue, Rick Springfield, The Bee Gees, Inxs, Natalie Imbruglia and others.
The proof of this virus can be seen in that any American who has had a relationship with an Australian has gone totally bat-shit crazy and destroyed their lives. Tom Cruise and John Travolita hooked up with Nicole Kidman and Olivia Newton-John respectively, became $Scientologists and ruined their lives. Rick Springfield hooked up with a loli Linda Blair and she slutted out, went psycho and was never heard from again.
If this immunity can be isolated and produced in vaccine form, the world may never have to suffer through another Crocodile Dundee, Muriel's Wedding or a Bee Gees version of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band again.
Since we're going this route, the Bee Gees Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band movie is the perfect metaphor for Super Planet Dolan and Dolan's Mysterious Brother. Most of Sgt Pepper's is shit, or Super Planet Dolan but Earth, Wind and Fire's cover of Got to get you into my life and Aerosmyth's cover of Come Together are Dolan's Mysterious Brother.
The problem with both is no one really wants to sit through either to get to the good parts.
Being the second mistake born to Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, remember Zaragamba (Dolan's Mysterious Brother) is neither a ginger or adopted, and having an artistic talent that can only be said to make the scribbles, scratches and skid-marks left by Chris Chan in his underwear look like something that was produced from a Heaven sent prodigy, is explicit proof that talent need not be considered or even be a prerequisite when you originated from the same nut sack as the person you're working for.
Ramona is another one of your basic Retweeters that believes that if they keep retweeting posts from other people, mostly posts from Nasa and Neil DeGrasse Tyson, that they will somehow, by default, be considered smart. Only a country like Australia would even consider this sound logic. Australia, a country that once served as Great Britain's dumping grounds for syphilis infected slags, those criminals that were dumb enough to get caught and the rest that try to argue that a Soccer riot can be a legitimate, second chance at winning when their team lost their original match.
We used to believe that it was Austrailia's "Wildwest, I Pulled The Queen Mum's Knickers Down And Fucked Her Right In Her Arse' attitude that had it producing beer with an alcohol content of 12% that can be bought in vending machines like Fat Americans dropping coins and bills for Hummingbird syrup and carbonated water beverages. Then we saw a pic of Ramona and realized it has less to do with giving the crown their middle finger and more as a service to Australian men because they have maybe a total of 5 women in total that look like Natalie Imbruglia and with the rest looking like a sweaty Prince Harry dressed up as Lady Diana from the House of Spencer in a San Francisco bath house, they would probably never breed if they didn't get good and faschnickered first.
It has become clear to us why the Crocodile Dundee, "I'm going to live in the middle of the continent for years at a time," lifestyle exists as an option and why Australia ranks second in world sheep farming.
- An Hero We can hope
- Art Thief
- Child Porn
- Chris Chan
- Doopie DoOver
- Doopie DoOver/People
- Furfag How most people describe the Planet Dolan members
- Kiwi Farms
- Retarded How most intelligent people would describe their channel.
- Scratch Their Animation Program
- Thief in Chief
- Trace The drawing process for Planet Dolan Contributors
- Uncle Dolan
The Super Planet Dolan Peanut Gallery
- Child Porn Twitter Account
- Daniel Johnson's older brother and the only person from Super Planet Dolan that can be fun to talk to or troll on Twitter because he plays along. This, and the fact that he's not a ginger, is more than enough proof to his claims that he was adopted.
- Lulz out of him without having Doopie's man-ass to reel him in. Added because some like Hellbent still think they can get
Super Planet Dolan is part of a series on YouTube.
Super Planet Dolan is part of a series on
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