Silk Road

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BRB, FBI. Scratch that, interagency government BBQ at DPR's! The ATF always brings the booze.
I risked getting V& for this, so have a good look.

The Silk Road was an online marketplace setup by neckbeard the pirate, specializing in the buying and selling of illicit drugs. At one time, there were 2217 drug-related items for sale, in addition to weapons, medical equipment, forgeries, musical instruments and computer parts. Silk Road is run as a Tor hidden service, pissing off the FBI to no end. Silk Road launched in February 2011, since providing a haven for neckbeards who can’t fathom stepping outside and meeting a drug dealer, and also for people who just love having their drugs poisoned. You could buy almost any type of drug imaginable, from cough medicine to Human Growth Hormone to heroin. There is also an incredibly slow-moving forum, where people talk about how fucked up they are and pretend to know about everything.

Transactions are made using Bitcoins, which allows for a reasonable level of anonymity. Most of the sellers are located in the US and Canada, giving little opportunity for use in the civilized world. Sellers are given feedback from previous buyers, something which you should take into account when buying your Rohypnol. Wouldn't want the slut to remember anything now would we?

Recently, someone threatened to sell poisoned and carcinogenic drugs. According to Silk Road, his plan was to ship contaminated drugs, thus killing many important members of the community. Once the seller got negative feedback, (presumably from the dead buyers) he would just make new accounts. All the stoned neo-hippies didn't see this coming and shit their pants, hoping that the Viagra they were hiding from their mommies wasn’t contaminated. The admins decided to force people to pay for seller accounts, which will do absolutely fuck all to stop the guy who posted the threat.


Dread Pirate Roberts, kingpin of Silk Road
Oh exploitable. Note: DPR suffered from mental retardation.

A writer at Gawker was hunting for CP on the deep webz and stumbled across Silk Road. He proceeded to write an article and ruin it for everyone with his newfaggotry and blatantly wrong facts. After the Gawker article, US Senators Charles Schumer and Joe Manchin stomped their feet and demanded that the website be shut down. However .onion domains aren’t under US jurisdiction, proving that Mr Manchin really needs to lrn2politics. In their statement they called the website “a certifiable one-stop shop for illegal drugs” sounding more like an advertisement than the intelligent leaders of society they are.

In response, the Silk Road admins engorged their e-peens by calling the Senator’s demands the beginning of a war.

I'm sure this news will scare some off, but should we win the fight, a new era will be born. Even if we lose, the genie is out of the bottle and they are fighting a losing War already.


Traffic to the site increased dramatically, pushing up the Bitcoin value too, which is known as the Streisand Effect.

Buying & Selling

Average Silk Road browser.

So you're anticipating another lonely Saturday night. Instead of fapping until you fall asleep, tears of loneliness dripping down your poor, acne-stricken face, visit Silk Road! Create an account and select your drug of choice. A bit of weed for a quiet night with friends? No problem! Why not try some PCP and eat your roommate's girlfriend's lungs? Anyway, add that to your cart. It's easy, just like eBay. From there, enter your address (perfectly safe) make sure you have enough Bitcoins and you're set! After a few nervous days of waiting, the goods will arrive, discretely packaged and vacuum sealed. Feds not guaranteed, but should be expected.

So, where to from now? Will the site be overrun with undesirables, or will it stay one of the best online marketplaces there currently is?

lol v&

Starting before DPR's identity was known to the buttpolice, the FBI gained physical access to the Silk Road servers. On or about July 29 2013, an image of the server was made, meaning the Feds had access to the server's image and back up servers for at least 3 months. What this means is that it's likely they have logged every single user and every single transaction handled by the Silk Road prior to that date, so if you purchased some fine legal goods without using PGP, then you'd best hit up the Silk Road replacement for some ass creams and lubricants, since bubba has a mean big dick.

The FBI was able to find out the IP address of the Silk Road server because DPR is a skid-level programmer and the login page for Silk Road leaked its IP address. DPR also failed to configured the hidden service correctly, allowing the FBI to visit the website through the clearnet to verify the leaked IP address was Silk Road's IP address. Basically, the SR servers were leaky pieces of shit so the FBI were easily able to get the server to sing like a bird and shit out its real IP address. Using the data they collected on the server (both what was on the server and what passed between it and the administrator) they weaned out information to identify the cokelord himself.

The FBI located the SR Server through means that were entirely lawful, by identifying its true IP address through publicly accessible information that Ulbricht apparently did not realize was visible to anyone who visited the Silk Road website.


—The Feds, mocking Silk Road's security

On October 2nd 2013, Silk Road was seized by ICE during the US government shutdown and Dread Pirate Roberts (Powerword: Ross Ulbricht)'s face got plastered all over the web, with allegations that he is the owner. Many Tor users may be worried about how DPR's identity was found despite hosting the site with Tor. Fortunately for them, DPR's identity was found as a result of him posting his actual Gmail address from the account he used to advertise on forums. Other evidence that resulted directly from his intelligence included being caught ordering counterfeit IDs to his address shortly after DPR inquired about fake IDs on Silk Road, telling the police who caught him about Silk Road and posting PHP code from Silk Road on stackoverflow using his real name. The feds then used pen registers to monitor DPR's internet activity and show that Ross and DPR were active online at the same time.

Additionally, the criminal complaint alleged that DPR conspired in an assassination attempt on another user, FriendlyChemist, who had attempted to extort half a million dollars from him. After faildoxing FriendlyChemist, DPR paid another user by the name of redandwhite, who claimed to be a man FriendlyChemist owed money to, $150,000 to off the man DPR thought was FriendlyChemist. Unfortunately for DPR, it seems he was tricked, as there were no records of that man ever existing or a homicide at the address.

$3.6 Million (26,000BTC) of user accounts were seized by the FBI using the bitcoin address 1F1tAaz5x1HUXrCNLbtMDqcw6o5GNn4xqX (which has subsequently been pranked), while DPR's personal wallet of $80 million (600,000BTC) was encrypted and couldn't be seized. Unfortunately lacking any jewgold, DPR was assigned a public defender with 4 years experience as a lawyer to represent him in his futile legal battles with the man.

You can donate to DPR's legal defense fund by sending bitcoins to 1DPRjkYXwmgvHo1vN4MmqA1bVfa226keMe and read a tl;dr blog about him getting fucked in the ass by federal criminal justice system.

See Also

External Links


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