Short type

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What short-hand is responsible for.

Short type, also know as short speak, text talk, AIM speak, netspeak, or retard speak, is a form of writing in which words are shortened, used by mentally handicapped people (The term people is used rather loosely, since most short typers are niggers) because they are too fucking dumb or too "cool" to type them out normally. Some common short type words are:


It is especially popular among 16 year old girls, 13 year old boys, wiggers, soon to be an heroes and/or dumb shits. Another form of short type is to leave out vowels in everything, which is possibly more retarded than the original form of short type. Many people praise this retarded fad, while others, known as normal people, despise it. Srsly, people need to get their heads out of their asses and take that extra .23 seconds to type out one or two more keys. They say they do it for the lulz, but in reality, they do it because they love having sweet buttsecks. Many fucktards have also began speaking in this manner, saying "OMG" instead of "Oh My God". Anyone talking like this should be dealt with as is dictated by the appropriate protocol.

Origins of short type:

This is why we should have more abortion clinics in America. Taken from a real AIM coversation.

Short type began at least 100 years ago in the late 90's when millions of 13 year old boys used their AOL subscriptions to take over the internets. It was later adopted by lazy angst-ridden teenagers (And sometimes adults, how sad), who used it to send pointless messages to their friends faster. Little to their knowledge, they would lower the average IQ of the internet population by over nine thousand points in a span of a few years. When AIM was created, these dumb shits decided it would be "convenient" to use this same short type in their AIM conversations. Then, in 2003, out of the fucking blue, MySpace was spawned and eventually became the breeding ground for this abomination, although it produced many lulz in the process. These retards have completely wiped out the English language in exchange for this form of faggotry.

A demonstration of Down Syndrome's progress. Ironic, as even the top Engrish speaker forgets the frigging comma.

A typical short type conversation looks like this:

isuckdick12: hey man wen u wuna go to ur friends house
penismuncher666: i duno dewd how bout u
isuckdick12: how bout 12 so we can suk dik lulz
penismucnher666: ok lulz
isuckdick12: ur hot wana fuk
penismucher666: helz ya dod u becha lulz

Some people use it to talk to their partners, for example:

back2tehkitchen69: sup bbzz txt wl u txt meh? <3
asianz4u44: bbz i luv u 5eva <3 x
back2tehkitchen69: yh bt wil u txt meh so i cn fap? <3 <3
asianz4u44: lolno u wot m8 i dnt evn fkcin like u
back2tehkitchen69: k c u l8er bbzz
asianz4u44: bi negro

Why short type is bad:

Parents, don't let your kids short type; they'll end up like this.

Taken from some dude's blog:

Short type is a disgrace to the English language, completely overshadowing the countless years of English and grammar lessons we were taught in school. This terrible fad bagan in text messages, and now it is used by roughly 90% of myspace users, and has been accepted by everyone, it's even in myspace ads for Christ sake! I don't know about you, but I think it's horrible; would you short type in an essay for school? NO! Would you do it for an important work memo? Absolutely not! Why is myspace so different? Sign this petition if you want myspace to do something about it, to finally bring an end to this monsterous craze we call "AIM speak" or "Txt tlk" or "Short type". Whatever you call it, it's absurd! Short type is bad for our youth, and if it is continued to be used at the rate it is now, pretty soon, it will be normal in our everyday language! I would not like to see that! Would "U"?

Short type is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
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