Sean Hannity

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Hannity is bad for America.png
Finally someone called him out on his shilling on National Television

Sean Hannity in Full Marionette Outfit. Note separate eyebrow controls.

Sean Hannity is an annoying, Catholic neo-con shill and political pundit who makes a living hating the mainstream media despite being a part of it. Fortunately for Hannity most of his fans lack the ability to put two and two together. He is an avid fan of horrible gay country music and has been identified by several sources to be America's greatest buzzkill. According to a recent poll of Americans, 95% would give up sex for a year to witness Hannity's slow and painful death at the hands of a hyena. The other 5% (his television audience) had never had sex. On January 20th 2001, he had a hole drilled into the middle of his back that connects to his mouth, allowing Dick Cheney to maintain full control of what he says. His turn-ons include circumcisions, telling Michelle Malkin what a hot oriental bitch she is, Boy Scout camping trips, humping the legs of authority figures, and accusing Democrats of emboldening the enemy. His turn-offs are Islam, people who don't agree 100% with everything he says, and facts. He is still awaiting legal immigration status to become a US citizen. Despite the fact that Hannity barely graduated middle school, his opinion is highly respected by closet homosexual Republicans and Christfags.

Hannity and Colmes

Colmes was added to present a liberal point of view.

Sean Hannity together with Jew host the hilariously right-winged Hannity and Colmes, on the fair and balanced Fox News. Although Alan Colmes calls himself a liberal, his Michael Stipe-like appearance (that of being riddled with AIDS) causes him to become the perfect beacon against any type of political thought that could be construed as anti-W.(Colmes was fired because Fox was becoming too "liberal") hosts the right-winged show "Hannity" on the fair and balanced Fox News.

Hand Signals

Best of Sean Hannity hand gestures available on the internet

Sean Hannity has based his career on hand signals which allow the mentally slow but rigidly attentive conservative Fox viewer to follow along with him.

Verify - As Shown by Mr. Fat-Fingers

I just want to verify, you are a Communist?

This is the most frequently seen Hannityism. When a guest on Hannity and Colmes makes a point that could potentially be at all considered liberal, Hannity, needing time to think up a proper retort employs this hand signal and rewords the guest's last statement in the form of a question.

  • Guest: I'm sorry, shouldn't the New Orleans National Guard be present to protect their own city instead of dying in Iraq?
  • Hannity: I just want to verify, did you just say you are a Stalinist and would like to collectivize the entire midwest grain harvest?
  • Colmes: Sean I don't know about th...

J'accuse - WAIT NO FRANCE SUCKS - As Shown by Mr. Fat-Fingers

You sir, are a socialist left wing fag lover.

Uh oh, Sean Hannity is pointing at the camera! And thanks to the magic of live-via-satellite, he is essentially pointing at you. The next sentence out of his mouth will contain some or all of the following words and punctuation: ignorant, liberal, you, are, an, !

  • Guest: How am I a socialist for thinking gay people are humans too?
  • Hannity: Read the Bible ignorant sir! Jesus says it's bad! LOLOL
  • Colmes: Sean I don't know a.....


I accuse you of being anti-American.


Note this is very similar to Hannity's 'Verify' hand signal, with the exception that he holds a pen or stylus while doing so. This is to create the false impression to the numb-headed Fox viewer that Sean Hannity is in fact literate and educated. You can count on him pretending to take notes somewhere within the next 20 seconds.

Colmes has been known to flinch and cower reflexively at times when Hannity uses the pen in this manner. There are several documented instances where Hannity actually stabbed Colmes with the pen, climbed onto the desk and devoured huge chunks from the back of Colmes' head. Rupert Murdoch has the photos framed by his bedside.

  • Guest: Sean what's that arm-like object going up your ass?
  • Hannity: How dare you accuse of me being a Neocon! Bill O'Reilly and I are both center-minded people.
  • Colmes: Sean I d.....

Hannity and Drama

Sean Hannity and to some degree Alan Colmes famously pwned Michael Crook on their show by calling him several names like "dumb idiot" "ignorant disgrace" "mean and cruel" and "a waste of our time" and having him sit there stupidly. It is a true sight to behold. Video of Hannity pwning Crook

As can be seen in this video, Hannity ensures the propagation of the conservative way of life by taking a random jerkoff from the internets and wagging his finger at them for five minutes. This gives the illusion of a free and open exchange of ideas while making certain that no actual information is spread.

Sean Hannity LJ Whores

There are many people who worship Sean Hannity online.

There is a community, Lj-favicon.png wehateliberals (DELETED), run by synthetikmisery and Lj-favicon.png bluetooth16 that centers around masturbating to Fox News and Sean Hannity. This makes Jesus and God, known Conservatives, cry.

Jesus told them to love, but they seem unable to love you without lubing up first and then getting a little on your leg.

Never bend over to pick up anything while near Sean Hannity or any of his fanboys. If you do, you will end up losing your ability to poop correctly, which will make Jesus cry.

Sean Hannity's homosexuality

Sean Hannity is a known homosexual, but is considered unusual among Republicunts as he prefers receiving penis with his legs up in the missionary position, rather than doggy style. He is among the most respected cock-gobblers on the Faux News network, only behind (in a literal sense too) Bill O' Reilly and Adolf Hitler.

Sean Hannity BTFO on National Television LOL

Being interviewed by an actual journalist, he got called out on his Bullshit as a shill for whoever makes his tiny dick the hardest.

Transcript Start:

The segment focused on the political divide in America and the role partisan news programming played in driving liberals and conservatives further apart. During a sit-down interview, Hannity called on Koppel to “give some credit” to people’s ability to differentiate between a news show and an opinion show.

“You’re cynical,” Hannity said.

“I am cynical,” Koppel responded.

“Do you think we’re bad for America? You think I’m bad for America?” Hannity asked.

Koppel didn’t miss a beat. “Yeah,” he said, and continued over multiple interruptions from Hannity:

Koppel: “In the long haul I think you and all these opinion shows —”

Hannity: “Really? That’s sad, Ted. That’s sad.”

Koppel: “No, you know why? Because you’re very good at what you do, and because you have attracted a significantly more influential —”

Hannity: “You are selling the American people short.”

Koppel: “No, let me finish the sentence before you do that.”

Hannity: “I’m listening. With all due respect. Take the floor.”

Koppel: “You have attracted people who are determined that ideology is more important than facts.”

Transcript Ends.


Sean Hannity Chased Down By Angry Republicans

Sean Hannity Pwnt

See also

  • Official forum The official forums of Hannity and his wingnut friends. If you don't troll it, the terrorists win.

Sean Hannity Photo Album

Sean Hannity
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