Read a book

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She wouldn't be regurgitating trite, witless insults if she'd only Read a Book!

A very common rote aphorism often made by pretentious pseudo-intellectuals, neckbeards, atheists, and other obviously stupid people desperately attempting to appear intelligent, "Read a Book" is an extremely banal retort, comeback, or insult that is ironically enough, made almost exclusively by people that don't read. At most, any reading that is done by these numbskulls is done in a perfunctory fashion and is done simply because their teachers or professors made them do so. Nontheless, this unfortunate fact does not prevent these poor misguided souls into parroting this mirthful mantra of the feeble minded whenever they're backed into a corner during a debate or whenever they simply want to feel intelligent.

Examples of erudition

It takes a certain special type of pretentious asshat to actually wear this cringeworthy rubbish.

Christians, why you ask stupid, rhetorical it because you're 2 lazy to read a science textbook? Do you know what a library is? Can you focus long enough to read a science textbook? Or does all your reading need to be in parable form like a child?


The Smartest One Here, tenured professor of LOGIC AND REASON at Harvard University.

Comebacks and tips for trolling

  • Ask them something along the lines of "which books would you suggest I read?" In most cases there will be no response as again, these people typically don't read.
  • Tell them that using such trite and platiduninous 3rd rate witticisms is a testament to their own obvious stupidity.
  • Use serious, irrefutable facts from Wikipedia (or better yet, good 'ol trusty and reliable Encyclopedia Dramatica) and make an ass out of them. WARNING! This will almost invariably result in the pwnt accusing the pwner of having "No life."
  • If applicable (and usually, it is) correct their spelling and grammar. Sit back and LOL as they then try to defend their errors and/or try to play them off as "typos."
  • .... NO U!!!!1!!!

Types of people that are dumb enough to actually use this adolescent cliche

Types of people that don't read books

People Who Actually Need To Read A Book

Jewish Men It's how we rule the world.

  • 1: Jews make reading look stupid.
  • 2: All races, except Jews get dumber. Because whites are now as slack jawed and stupid as other races they ask the super smart Jews for their help because they can't handle leading any more.
  • 3: Jews swoop in
  • 4: ???
  • 5: Profit

See also

Read a book
is part of a series on
Fuck reading. Just use Sparknotes.See Also
Read a book is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
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Featured article October 13th & 14th, 2015
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