Rape Checklist

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ED CLEANER 2.jpg This article needs a serious clean up

Somebody should do something about it.

If you laughed at this picture, you are a rapist.
If she's asking for it, but then says "no", you're a rapist.
If this ink blot looks like rape to you, you are a rapist.
If you get an erection at any time you are a rapist. Only this device can save you from being a rapist.
A woman's number one and ONLY rule.
If you are on this website, you are a rapist.
If you ever noticed the fact that longcat is long, you are a rapist.
Girls can't live without it! (literally)
Justin Bieber says there's always a reason for rape!

Sometimes in life the line between wrong and right can be blurred. What was acceptable 1,000 years ago may not be so today, and in this confusing world many seek direction. That's where the Rape Checklist comes in handy. Started by a completely sane feminazi this list will tell you everything you need to know about not plowing a woman's field before the soil is fertile. Most likely you'll come clean and end up as NOT-rapist, but it's still good to check.

Note: Numbers 1-51 are actually taken from a real source (but not 20a). For moar info, see BitingBeaver's Rape Checklist.

  1. You are definitely a rapist. You can stop reading any further.
  2. You are a rapist if you get a girl drunk and have sex with her.
  3. You are a rapist if you find a drunk girl and have sex with her.
  4. You are a rapist if you get yourself drunk and have sex with her. Your drunkenness is no excuse.
  5. If you are BOTH drunk you may still be a rapist.
  6. If she’s alternating between puking her guts out and passing out in the bed then you’re a rapist.
  7. If she’s sleeping and you have sex with her you’re a rapist.
  8. If she’s unconscious and you have sex with her then you’re a rapist.
  9. If she’s taking sleeping pills and doesn’t wake up when you have sex with her then you’re a rapist.
  10. If she is incapacitated in any way and unable to say ‘Yes’ then you’re a rapist.
  11. If you drug her then you’re a rapist.
  12. If you find a drugged girl and have sex with her then you’re a rapist.
  13. If you don’t bother to ask her permission and she says neither ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ then you could be a rapist.
  14. You are a rapist if you ‘nag’ her for sex. Because you manage to ply an eventual ‘yes’ from a weary victim doesn’t mean it’s not rape. You are a rapist.(see also Sean Bataille)
  15. You are a rapist if you try to circumvent her “No” by talking her into it. She’s not playing hard to get, and, even if she IS it’s not YOUR responsibility to ‘get’ her. You’re still a rapist.
  16. You are a rapist if you manipulate her into sex when she doesn’t otherwise want it. If you say, “If you loved me you’d do X” then you’re a rapist. If you say, “All the other kids are doing it!” then you’re a rapist.
  17. If you threaten her, or act in a way that SHE thinks you’re threatening her then you’re a rapist. If you puff up and get loud and frustrated while trying to ‘talk’ her into sex then you’re a rapist.
  18. You are a rapist if you don’t immediately get your hands off of her when she says ‘no’. You are a rapist if you take your hands off of her and then put them back ON her after 10 minutes and she eventually ‘gives in’ to this tactic.
  19. You are a rapist if you won’t let her sleep peacefully without waking her every 15 minutes asking her for sex. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture and YOU are a rapist. (So the mere act of asking someone for sex makes you a rapist)
  20. If you’re necking with her and you’re naked and you’ve already gone down on her and she says ‘No’ to sex with you and you have sex with her anyway then you’re a rapist.
  21. If you’re engaged in intercourse and she says ‘No’ at ANY point and you don’t immediately stop then you’re a rapist. (Even if you want to pull out?)
  22. If you've finished having sex and she wishes she had said 'No' (but didn't actually say 'No' out loud) then you are still a rapist.
  23. If she said “Yes” to sex with a condom and that condom breaks and you proceed anyway then you’re a rapist.
  24. If she picked you up at a bar looking for sex and then decides that she doesn’t WANT sex and you continue then you’re a rapist. (What is she doing here in the first place then?)
  25. If she changes her mind at ANY point for ANY reason and you don’t immediately back off or you try to talk her into it and get sex anyway then you’re a rapist.
  26. If you don’t hit her and she says ‘No’ you’re still a rapist. (Why would a girl refuse a nice guy?)
  27. If you don’t have a knife or a gun or a garrote and she says ‘No’ then you’re still a rapist. (PROTIP: Have a knife with you!)
  28. If you’re a friend of hers you can still be a rapist.
  29. If you had sex with her the night before but she doesn’t want morning sex and you pressure her for it anyway then you’re a rapist.
  30. If you’re her husband you can still be a rapist.
  31. If it’s your wedding night and she doesn’t WANT to have sex with you and you force or coerce her anyway then you’re a rapist. (Instant divorce, too.)
  32. If she’s had sex with you hundreds of times before but doesn’t want to on the 101st time then you’re a rapist.
  33. If you penetrate her anally, orally or digitally against her will then YOU my friend, are ALSO a rapist.
  34. Women do not owe you sex. But she owes you the money you spend to:
  35. Buying her dinner does not entitle you to sex.
  36. If it exists there is porn of it. And you are a rapist.
  37. Buying her clothing does not entitle you to sex.
  38. Buying her lingerie does not entitle you to sex. It also doesn’t mean that she has any obligation to wear that lingerie around you.
  39. Spending any amount of money on her does not, ever, entitle you to sex. (Lol, prostitutes)
  40. Seeing her legs or cleavage does not entitle you to sex.
  41. If she ‘turns you on’ you’re not entitled to sex.
  42. If she has fucked every man in a 10 square mile radius and she doesn’t want to fuck you and you have sex with her anyway, then you’re a rapist. (But chances are if she really HAS banged everyone within 10 miles, the courts won't believe her anyway, so this sign is null)
  43. Her clothing is not a reason for you to rape her. Her LACK of clothing is no reason to rape her. If she’s wearing a thong and pasties you STILL have no right to rape her. (The setting of a woman being completely naked is not covered, so it's OK.)
  44. If she’s a prostitute and she says “No” then you’re a rapist.
  45. If she’s a stripper and she says “No” then you’re a rapist. Likewise, if she’s a stripper and she’s been rubbing against your dick all night long and you follow her to her car and have sex with her against her will then you are ALSO a rapist.
  46. If you watch a woman being raped without calling the authorities then you’re as bad as a rapist and you may also be a rapist yourself.
  47. If you don’t fight rape then you accept rape.
  48. If you don’t believe a woman when she says she was raped then you’re encouraging rape and send her back into the kitchen.
  49. If you choose to remain friends with a man who raped a woman you are encouraging rape.
  50. If you confess to the authorities that you raped a woman it does not exonerate you. You are not suddenly a model of good behavior. (So why confess then? Think about it.)
  51. If you ‘only’ raped one woman, you’re STILL a rapist. (So don't stop, like Pringles.)
  52. You cannot tell who is a rapist by the way they look. Rapists are your friends, your brothers, your fathers and you won’t know it.
  53. Do not get frustrated with a woman if she doesn’t trust you. SHE already knows that rapists don’t wear signs on their foreheads. Something you think is innocuous SHE may find terrifying.
  54. If you bump into a woman and don't say "excuse me" you're a rapist.
  55. If you think of a girl naked and she doesn't know you're still a rapist.
  56. If you park in a parking lot a little too much to the right so it'll be really hard for someone who parks normally to get out of their car you're a rapist.
  57. If you masturbate and your semen hits the floor and a woman walks on your carpet in the next fifty years you're a rapist.
  58. Toilet seat up? You're a rapist.
  59. Stay away from me, you rapist...
  60. If you ever end up getting into a convoluted bet with a rich Arabian man whereby you must wrestle a bear to the ground in order to secure your freedom from his underground death-games tournament and you manage to survive and escape and return to bring the man to justice and his wife falls in love with your bear-wrestling bravado then you're a rapist.
  61. If you pick a fire-type Pokemon on your first play through of any Pokemon game you're a rapist.
  62. If you cannot rub your stomach and pat your head at the same time you're a rapist.
  63. If you congratulate your sister on graduating college with honors by giving her a hug you're a rapist.
  64. If you're left-handed, you're a rapist.
  65. If you're having sex with the woman and she turns out to be a man you're a rapist.
  66. Paddling the school canoe? You're a rapist.
  67. If a man loves a woman, and a woman loves a man, and they both decide to have a child together you're a rapist.
  68. If you listen to Grunge you're, not a rapist, surprisingly.
  69. If you noticed there were two #64 you're a rapist.
  70. If you laughed when Will Smith punched the alien in Independence Day you're a rapist.
  71. You get in one little fight and your momma got scared you're moving in with a rapist.
  72. If you get raped but you're not a woman, you're a rapist.
  73. If you're a Jew you're a rapist. (Isn't this obvious?)
  74. If you scrolled to this number because you associate "69" with a sexual position, then you are a rapist. (If you read 169, then came here, you're probably looking to rape anyone else that comes here, you sick fuck.)
  75. Teabagging isn't funny. AT ALL. If you think it's funny you're a rapist.
  76. If you have a penis, you're a rapist.
  77. If you are a transgendered men, you're a retard. Go fuck yourself, die in hell.
  78. If Rule 71b applied to you and you did it, you are a rapist.
  79. If it's Tuesday, you're a rapist. Doesn't matter who the fuck you are (Unless you are a wymmyns).
  80. If you're black you are a potential rapist, potentially armed, potentially on drugs, and should be beaten.
  81. If you display any male traits whatsoever, you're a rapist.
  82. If you discover that she's been taking Tylenol, you're a rapist.
  83. If you've ever asked a buddy of yours for money to buy a soda, you're a rapist.
  84. Tom Brokaw? Rapist.
  85. If you play D&D, Vampire: The Masquerade, Werewolf: The apocalypse, Swords & Sorcery, Call of Cthulhu, or any other roleplaying game you are a rapist. What's with WoW? Instant rapist.
  86. If you've ever masturbated, then you've taken advantage of yourself and you're a rapist.
  87. If you are reading this, you are a rapist.
  88. If you lol'd at #81, you are a rapist.
  89. If you wish you could rape someone, you're a rapist.
  90. If you thought about #83, you're a rapist.
  91. If you're STILL fucking reading this, you're a rapist.
  92. If you wrote one of these, you're a rapist.
  93. If you wrote #82-87 and are about to write #88, you are a rapist.
  94. I guess that makes me a rapist. Oh, and you too.
  95. Fucking rapist. Heil Hitler.
  96. If you don't forward chain letters in a prompt manner, you're kind of raping the whole concept, rapist.
  97. If you look a girl anywhere but the area just below her forehead and just above her nose, you're a rapist.
  98. The people who say they don't lie, they lie. The people who say they don't steal, they steal. The people who say they don't cheat, they cheat. The people who say they don't rape...you get the picture. If not, then you're a rapist, too.
  99. If you've ever used a meme, you're a rapist.
  100. If you've ever said something that could possibly be construed as insensitive, you're just not that nice. And perhaps a rapist, silly.
  101. If you think monogamy is masturbation, you're an asshole rapist.
  102. If you have a name, alias, or otherwise, that sounds even REMOTELY Japanese, you are a rapist.
  103. Weeaboo = Instant Rapist.
  104. If you use the Duke University case to respond to #46, you're a rapist.
  105. If you're a rapist, you're a rapist. It's just common sense.
  106. If you wrote #97, you're a rapist, because that makes too much sense, so you obviously have a penis.
  107. If you wish there were 100 ways to be a rapist, then you're a rapist.
  108. 100. If you have read this far, then you have read at least 100 rape jokes. And therefore are a rapist.
  109. If there has been an episode of Law and Order: SVU made about you, then you're a rapist.
  110. If you have ever watched an episode of Law and Order: SVU, then you're a rapist.
  111. If you can remember the entire NASCAR series schedule but can't remember your wife's birthday, kid's birthday, or anniversary, you just might be a rapist.
  112. If you identified #102 as a copy-and-pasted "You might be a redneck" joke, you're a rapist.
  113. If you know how this sentence is going to end, you're a rapist.
  114. If you're having sex with a woman and she tells you to go harder and you don't, you're a rapist.
  115. If you say no to sex you're a rapist.
  116. If you have touched any part of your body be it sexually or not, you're still a rapist.
  117. If you're a Jew, you're a rapist...of the economy.
  118. If one of your testicles are bigger than the other, you're a rapist.
  119. If a woman strips you naked, ties you up, gags you, and proceeds to ride you until you cum, but she never says "Yes," you're a rapist.
  120. If you remain friends with a man after learning that he has a penis, you are encouraging rape.
  121. If you are a nigra and a white girl says you raped her despite evidence stacked so highly in your favor that it would border on a breach of everything America stands for if you were convicted, guess what? You are a rapist.
  122. If you don't use Ys in the word wymmyns, you are encouraging rape.
  123. If you thought any of the words in #113 were misspelled, you are a rapist.
  124. If YOU are the drunk one and she has sex with you, you are a rapist.
  125. If you've got more furniture on your lawn than in your house, you might be a rapist.
  126. If you pay a woman to have sex, but don't tip, you are a rapist.
  127. If you have sex with a woman against her will while using a gun in a back alley, and she climaxes, you are NOT a rapist, although you might be in Japan.
  128. If you saw Black Snake Moan, you are encouraging rape.
  129. If the scanner Scouter (dumbass) says his power level is over 9000, you are a-WHAT NINE-THOUSAND!?
  130. If you think there is a spoon, then you are a rapist.
  131. If you recognized number 121 as a "The Matrix" joke, then I'm a rapist. (Yes, you are)
  132. If you try to point out that this is an article aimed at you, then not only are you a rapist, you're also an attention whore.
  133. If you think Eris is hot, you are a rapist.
  134. If you actually plan on raping Eris, you're a rapist and a sick fuck.
  135. If you think rape is merely surprise sex, you are a rapist.
  136. If your name is Plainsight, you are a rapist.
  137. If you were born in the arctic from the womb of a polar bear made of the seed of no human, have never seen the face of another human being nor believe that you yourself are a human being, then you are a rapist.
  138. If you decide to get off your ass and go to the store to buy a pack of lights, and then pay the female clerk an amount which is not exactly equal to the price of the cigs + tax WHILE also looking her in the eyes, you are definitely a rapist.
  139. If you are accused of homophobia and do not immediately respond with an affirmation that you actually love the cock, you are a rapist.
  140. If you do not contribute to this list, you are a rapist.
  141. If, at any time during the life of the universe, you, at any point, existed in some form and shape on some spatial object existing within the aforementioned universe (and are also not a wymyn), you are, hands-down, a rapist.
  142. If you herd i like mudkipz, you're a rapist
  143. If you know how to pronounce the name 'Ayn Rand', you are encouraging rape.
  144. If you are a woman who has forced her sexual attentions on a man, woman, boy, girl, mammal, or invertebrate, you are NOT a rapist. Vaginas entitle you to sex with anything in the known universe.
  145. If you sit in your room and play Pokemon all day and get angry when your little sister's friends touch your light sabers, you're a rapist.
  146. If your name is Houston, then you are rapist. In fact, if you are named after any city, country, or state, you are a rapist.
  147. If you find any humor in Chuck Norris jokes, you should be shot, stabbed, hanged, shot again, drawn quartered, laced back together, stabbed twice more, beaten with reeds, and fed to raving lunatics. Oh, and you're also a rapist
  148. If you've read at least 100 of these, you're a rapist.
  149. If you don't know how many of these you've actually read without having to look at the number list, you're a rapist that can't count.
  150. If she says "I give you my consent to have sex with me" and you then put your penis into her vagina, you're a rapist.
  151. If you are Eminem, you are a rappist, which is worse than a rapist, but you are also still a rapist.
  152. If you've ever read /b/, you are without any sense a doubt, a rapist. You're also likely a Sick fuck.
  153. If you have ever used a position of power to demand sexual favors from women, but kept abortion legal, you are NOT a rapist.
  154. If a waitress's huge tits made you look away from your wife for ten seconds during your anniversary dinner, you are a rapist.
  155. If you ever ate a grape which rhymes with rape then you are truly a rapeist.
  156. If you have ever raped a rapist, you are still a rapist.
  157. If you spell rapist, "rapeist", then not only are you a rapist, but you failed at Hooked on Phonics and are quite possibly a Nigra.
  158. If someone raped you and you surprise buttsecks them back, not only are you a rapist but you also will make me lol.
  159. If you have a Gaia Online account you are a rapist.
  160. If you touch the top of the building, you're a rapist. If you touch the ceiling you're a rapist, you touch the floor you're a rapist, too far to the right you're a rapist, too far to the left you're a rapist, you're a rapist rapist rapist rapist rapist rapist rapist rapist RAPIST.
  161. If you drink Gin with anything other than juice, you're a rapist.
  162. If you drink Gin WITH juice, you're a rapist.
  163. If you don't drink Gin at all, you're a rapist.
  164. If you don't fall under the category of ANY of the previous three, you might think you are actually not a rapist, but you, in fact, are.
  165. Therapists are rapists. It doesn't matter how 'good' of a therapist you are.
  166. If your name is Kashif and you have red hair, you're a rapist.
  167. If you think this is list is not lulz worthy, you're a rapist.
  168. If you watch rape hentai, you're a rapist.
  169. Campus counselors say that if you are a man, you are a rapist.
  170. Now this is the story all about how my life got turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute just sit right there I'll tell you that you're a rapist.
  171. ?????
  172. PROFIT!!!
  173. If you're wondering where 164 went, it's too afraid to go outside because of post traumatic fear of getting raped again. BY YOU. Fucking rapist.
  174. If you have erectile dysfunction you still may be a rapist.
  175. If your wife has passed away and you think about any time you had with her, you are not only a rapist but you are a necrophiliac.
  176. If your dad was a rapist and you married a woman you dated for 5 years that loves you more than anything on earth, you STILL are a rapist.
  177. See rule 69, rapist.
  178. If you are happy and you know it and you really wanna show it, if you're happy and you know it you're a rapist.
  179. If you go swimming a half hour after eating, you're a rapist.
  180. If you kick the person's seat that is sitting in front of you in a movie theater, you are a rapist.
  181. If you laughed at any point in this list, you're a rapist.
  182. If you have ever used the words, or any words that mean the following: breasts, vagina, or anus, you are a rapist.
  183. When you put your hands in the air like you just don't care you are proclaiming to the world that you are a rapist. See rule 48.
  184. If you draw a fictional character naked to please your friends who are perverts, you are a rapist. See rule 34.
  185. If you land on free parking in monopoly, you're in a parking lot in your imagination and your imagination is full of rape. You know exactly what you do in parking lots, rapist.
  186. If your name is Pyramid Head, you are THE rapist.
  187. If you're holding your newborn daughter, you are a rapist.
  188. If she asks you to spank her during sex and you do, you're a woman-beater and therefore a rapist.
  189. If you have a large penis, you are a misogynist and a rapist, because women don't like large penises. EVER.
  190. If you have ever spent less than three hours on foreplay, you are most definitely a rapist.
  191. If you think that the word 'rapist' starts to look funny after the 100th time you've read it, you're a rapist.
  192. If a woman has ever falsely accused you of rape and ruined your life in a huge media spectacle even though it has been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that you never had any kind of sex with her, you are still a rapist. Just because you didn't doesn't mean you wouldn't, and everyone knows that all men are rapists.
  193. If you are a man who has been raped by a woman when you were incapacitated, you are a rapist. It is your fault for having an erection.
  194. You are a rapist.
  195. O HAY GUYS! WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?! (see rest of list)
  196. If this is the first time you've ever read this list, you're more rapist than n00b, but you're still a hella n00b...
  197. If your hand is bigger than your face, you're a rapist.
  198. Any person who can lick their elbow is a rapist.
  199. All Nobel Prize winners are rapists like you.
  200. If you laughed at any moment during Law & Order: SVU, you are a rapist and an episode about you will be made next year
  201. If you CAN rub your stomach and pat your head AT THE SAME TIME, you are a rapist.
  202. If you hang up on a telemarketer, you are a rapist. If you are a telemarketer, you are a rapist of ears. If you do not hang up on a telemarketer, you are asking for it.
  203. If you pull a fire alarm without starting a fire, you are a rapist and a criminal.
  204. You drink, you drive, you rape.
  205. If this ink blot looks like rape to you, you are a rapist.
  206. If you are suffering from loss of appetite, fatigue, headache, and fever, you are a rapist.
  207. 199. If you were breast fed as an infant, you are a rapist.
  208. If you were really excited to write #200, you are a rapist.
  209. If you find this list to be lulzy, you are a rapist. Rape is serious fucking business.
  210. If you are Bill Clinton, you are not a rapist, because you did not have sex with that woman.
  211. If you you are George Bush, you are a rapist of the English language and democracy. You also raped your two hot daughters.
  212. If you tazed me bro, you are a rapist.
  213. If you are a member of the Skull and Bones, you are a rapist.
  214. If you listen to a record backwards and you hear "you are a rapist," you are a rapist.
  215. If you are Clive Owen, you are a rapist.
  216. If you have ever been on an football team, you are a rapist.
  217. If you own, know someone who owns, or have ever come into contact with a rape clock, you are a rapist.
  218. If you're wondering what the fuck a rape clock is, you are a rapist.
  219. If you don't find this list to be lulzy, you're a rapist.
  220. If you didn't think it was awesome when Danny Bonaduce pwnt Johnny Fairchild on national television, you are a rapist
  221. If you will play Sonic in Super Smash Bros. Brawl, then you are a rapist.
  222. If you've ever corrected this list for grammatical errors, you are not only a rapist but also anal retentive.
  223. If you think being "anal retentive" has to do with sodomy, you're a rapist.
  224. If you deny being a rapist, you're not only a rapist, but also a liar.
  225. If you've ever been raped, you are a rapist.
  226. If you watch or listen to Howard Stern, you are a rapist.
  227. If you got an erection at any point in time while reading this list you are DEFINITELY a rapist.
  228. If rape turns you on you are Japanese.
  229. If you know who shot Kennedy you are a rapist.
  230. If you shot Kennedy you are a rapist.
  231. If you ARE Kennedy you are a rapist.
  232. If you raped someone, you're a rapist.
  233. If you've ever made a turducken, you are a rapist.
  234. If you, as a child, ever asked your mother why she doesn't have a peepee, you're a rapist.
  235. If you don't know what beateggs is, you're gonna get raped.
  236. If you enjoy anchovies you are a rapist and you have bad taste.
  237. If you misspell "definitely," you are a rapist.
  238. If you read numbers 221-223 and remembered where you were when Kennedy was shot, you're not only a rapist, but you're fucking old, and therefore a pedophile.
  239. If you're a rapist, you're a rapist.
  240. If you're annoyed with the repetition of "if you're a rapist, then you're a rapist" entries on this list, then you are a rapist.
  241. If you have ever been raped, you are encouraging rape.
  242. If your girlfriend is into BDSM and loves it when you tie her up, you are a rapist.
  243. If you are into BDSM and love it when your girlfriend ties you up, you are a rapist.
  244. If you are a virgin and have a penis, then you are a rapist. And a loser.
  245. If you are a man who lost your penis in an accident, you are still a rapist.
  246. If you're a transvestite, you're a rapist, and a faggot.
  247. If you're asexual, you're a rapist.
  248. If you divide by zero, you're a rapist. OSHI-
  249. If you think the cake is a lie you're a rapist.
  250. If you brb'd to make soup, you are a rapist.
  251. Sike, you can't be a rapist. You're a d00d.
  252. If you are gay and take advantage of a dead corpse, you're a rapist. For example
  253. If you delete fucking everything, you're a rapist and probably a furfag too.
  254. If you say the name Candlejack, you're a ra
  255. If you are on ED right now, you are a rapist.
  256. If u no lyke mudkipz, you are a major rapist.
  257. If you have AIDS, you are a rapist. Therefore, the guy that gave you those AIDS, is also a rapist, because he couldn't keep it in his fucking pants. RAPISTRAPISTRAPIST.
  258. If, meanwhile reading all this list, you thought there were some entries twice or three times repeated, not only you are a rapist, but also a maniac.
  259. If you did read this list to da end,and you didn't find it funny,you're not only a rapist but a emo,too.
  260. If you don't want battletoads for the wiistation 360 then your a rapist
  261. If you have ever considered mutual masturbation, then you are a rapist.
  262. If you experience an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, you are a rapist
  263. Guess What? Surprise secks, rapist.
  264. If your penis was bitten off by a rabid dog, who ran off with it, dumped it into a swimming pool and it then floated into someone's asshole, then you are a rapist
  265. If you jump out of a plane, naked, with an erection, and the parachute doesn't open and you land prick first into someone's asshole, at 400mph, you are a rapist
  266. If you have gender reassignment surgery and a hobo takes your severed prick out of the hospital waste bin and uses it as a dildo, in their asshole, you are a rapist.
  267. Yes "69" haha you fucking rapist for looking!
  268. If you hold the door open for a female, then you are most certainly a rapist.
  269. You're even moar of a rapist if the female is disabled and in a wheelchair.
  270. If you have ever used a fleshlight and accidentally the whole thing, then you're a rapist.
  271. If you cheat on your wife in Fable 2, but never even touched a girl IRL, you're a rapist.
  272. If you cannot believe it isn't butter, you are a rapist.
  273. If you ever grounded your child, you're a rapist.
  274. If you a). have a crush on your taken friend who, even if single, would never consider dating you, and b). have a penis, then you're a rapist. It should be noted that your friend isn't the one who's getting raped (this time).
  275. If you procrastinate on your responsibilities, then you're a time rapist as well as a lazy fuck.
  276. If you draw animu and submit your kawaii and yaoi on devianTart, then you're a weeaboo AND a rapist.
  277. If the Ultimate Muscle Roller Legend gave you the weirdest boner, you are a rapist.
  278. If you have ever cosplayed as an animu, shota, or lolicon, then GTFO.
  279. Granted that it bothers you when someone begins a new point without "if", then, without a doubt, you are an OCD rapist.
  280. If you're the nerd who typed Rule 281, you're not only a grammar nazi, but a hypocrite. And you're still a rapist.
  281. If you listen to or make rap music, then you're a rapist.
  282. If you suddenly jizzed in your pants, then you're a rapist.
  283. If you spent hours reading Bachelor Frog memes and realized they apply to you, then you are a potential rapist. It's all a matter of time until you walk fifteen feet from your suburban residence.
  284. If you lie about your gender on Omegle, you're a rapist.
  285. If have a MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, or Tumblr account, you're an attention whoring rapist.
  286. If you are a female contributing to this list, then you are encouraging rape.
  287. If you spunk out of a window and it lands inside a passer by's asshole, you are a rapist
  288. If you were actually that curious to look up rape on this site, you're a rapist therefore making me a rapist by typing these words.
  289. If you're a chronic mastuabator who beats off without an erection and cums in less than five minutes, you're a rapist because you know how to finish fast.
  290. If you've ever 'accidentally' put it in the wrong hole, you're a rapist
  291. If you've ever masturbated over a pic of Abi Titmuss, Osama Bin Ladin and Hedwig ... YOU'RE A RAPIST!
  292. If you made rule 292 and you spelled masturbated wrong and then made two 292s you are a rapist.
  293. 4 If you're the guy who pisses all over the floor in public restrooms you are an inconsiderate prick and are a rapist also you may be doing it for the lulz.
  294. If you smiled at a woman who was passing by in the street you are a rapist.
  295. If you're moot you are a rapist...of lulz.
  296. If you are a mod you are a rapist.
  297. If you ever entered a store and didn't buy anything you are a rapist because you raped the time of the clerks. See Rule 277
  298. If you thought 298 was (un)funny, you are a rapist.
  299. If THIS IS SPARTAAAA, then you must be kicked down a big ass well, because you are a rapist.
  300. If part of you laughed when they said the phrase "bring out the long nines" in Pirates of the Caribbean, you are a rapist.
  301. If you have a female friend who revealed someone raped her in the past, she reveals so within half an hour of knowing her, and you thought it was creepy, you are a rapist. (P.S. Having a female friend also counts as rape all by itself)
  302. If you have ever offered a woman a hotdog and she refuses, you are a rapist.
  303. See Rule 303 but you're a double rapist if you offered it loaded with your choice of condiments.
  304. You vandalized Wikipedia? You're a rapist.
  305. Your edits to Wikipedia consist only of trolling and vandalism? Rapist!
  306. You do not vandalize ED? Eliminate all previous counts of rape on Rule 305.
  307. If you jealously guard an article on Wikipedia from all edits and are not doing it for the lulz, you are a rapist.
  308. See rule 307, but if you're not funny, you're a rapist. (What have I done!?)
  309. If you have ever thought of naming your MMORPG character Sir Rapesalot, you are a rapist. Double that if the game does not take place in Ye Olde England.
  310. If you have ever independently considered making a checklist of what makes men rapists, you are probably a rapist.
  311. If you think seriously about rape for more than ten minutes per day, you are either a rapist or subconsciously asking for it. Otherwise, it was for the lulz.
  312. Seeing the Yellow Sign? You're a crazy rapist.
  313. Said anything other than "Awesome Vid, 5 Stars" to a person on Youtube? Rapist!
  314. Ever thought up fifteen things that make you a rapist? You're a rapist.
  315. If you have ever made a woman go into a deep sleep by daring her to chug a bottle of NyQuil and then had sex with her, you are a rapist.
  316. If you have ever hypnotized a woman and made her do irredeemable things to your schlong, you are David Copperfield and a rapist.
  317. If you have ever made up a bunch of facts about rapists in a desperate/ failed attempt to get some attention from anyone, you are a rapist and all around terrible person.
  318. If you have ever ridden an atomic bomb down to it's target while waving your cowboy hat and screaming, you are a rapist.
  319. If you had a "raging semi" by the end of this list, you are a rapist, but not much of a threat to anyone, loser.
  320. If you trick a naked woman into running into your hard-on like a reverse jouster, then you are quite the creative rapist, but a rapist nonetheless.
  321. If you plug in a USB device with any sort of jabbing motion, you are a rapist.
  322. If you eat the heart of a rapist you do not gain his power or courage, you just become a cannibal rapist. But, on the plus side, you'll be the most popular guy in your cell block.
  323. Considering BitingBeaver to be at all attractive in a physical sense means you are ignoring her accomplishments and personality and, thus, you are a rapist.
  324. If you are a scifag you were raped violently as a child and therefore are a rapist
  325. If you say, "oh my bad" it was still rape.
  326. If it was "O HAY GUYS! WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?!" It was definitely rape!
  327. If your name is Tobas Fünke you're an analrapist
  328. If you saw that episode of SNL where in the Celebrety Jeporady skit the guy pretending to be Sean Connery pronounced "therapist" as "the-rapist" & lol'd, your a rapist.
  329. If you didn't laugh, you're an emo rapist
  330. Etc. Etc. Etc....Rape
  331. If your girlfriend gets drunk and passes out but she had said "Please have sex with my unconscious body. I'm your love slave." repeatedly before and after getting drunk, then carry on my wayward rapist, there will not be prison when you are done.
  332. If sex is occurring, then rape must be occurring as well, no matter how much both parties may want it. Since women cant rape anything, we're looking at you, big boy.
  333. If you ever saw the title "Meet the Beatles" and you switched the first letters of the first and third words around in order to "make a funny", you are a rapist...or BitingBeaver's potential rapist spawn.
  334. If you registered just so you could edit this article, you're a rapist.
  335. If you listened to Richard Cheese's "Rape me" and lol'd, you're a rapist. If you raped Richard Cheese after listening to it, you're not a rapist. But you're a gay.
  336. If you have a Maplestory account or any other MMORPG account then you are a rapist!
  337. You are a rapist because I said so.
  338. If you use faces like o.O >.> >.< etc, you are a rapist.
  339. If you watch anime or read manga, you are a rapist.
  340. If you hate school, you are a rapist.
  341. If you drink water, you are a rapist.
  342. If you find The Aristocrats funny, you are a cock sucking motherfucking rapist.
  343. If you have ever said the words sproing, boing, schwing, or "I Guarantee it." to any woman, you are a rapist.
  344. If you have ever replaced some key words in a song with the word rape, or changed the lyrics just enough for it to be about rape, then your mind "Michigan steams like a young rapist's dreams."
  345. If you've ever said "Rape: it's whats for dinner.", then you are a rapist. Bonus rape points go to you if you then added "Note: dessert is also rape."
  346. If you post every fact about rape that pops into your head without regard for it actually being funny or not, then you are a rapist.
  347. If you have ever been innocently walking by that playground in the public park, tripped, ripped right out of your super tight leather pants like some sort of skinny hulk, exposed yourself to everyone there by the simple fact that you could not wear underwear under the pants, figured the situation could not get any worse, decided to run screaming to the parking lot and hump the shit out of some soccer mom's SUV with the "Baby on Board" sticker, then got arrested after attempting to run and hide from the cops in the all girls school next door, then you are a rapist.
  348. If you hope that Bitingbeaver has read this entire list and become steadily more angry at the entire world, then you are still a rapist, but one with your heart in the right place.
  349. If you just HAD to end your unfunny rape facts on an even number like 350, then you are an obsessive compulsive rapist.
  350. If you have a pink pomeranian, you're a rapist
  351. If you smell your food before you eat it, your one of the lucky few we call rapists.
  352. If you piss the in a public toilet and don't wash your hands because you think your dick is cleaner than the tap, your a rapist.
  353. If you are born into a Jewish family, and your father was a heroin addict who sucked cock for his smack, not only are you bound to become a rapist, but are also inclined to be attracted to other male prostitutes whom initiate themselves in rape-like activities, so thus you are a rapist by the smallest margin even if you are a sperm cell within a Jewish nutsack.
  354. If you are born into an African family you ARE a rapist. No questions asked.
  355. If through any point outside a given line there is EXACTLY one line through it that is parallel to the former line, you're a rapist.
  356. If you read all the way down here, Amanda, then I'm a rapist.
  357. If you've ever met Chris Hansen, your a rapist.
  358. If you have sex with a woman and call her name that's not even remotely close to her own, or even when talking to her, you are a rapist.
  359. If you have yet to realize that #259-288 are missing, you are a rapist. If you realized this, but chose to do nothing about it, you are encouraging rape.
  360. If you decide to fix the missing #259-288, you are a rapist. Likewise, if you attempt to fix this problem, and fuck it up even more, you are a rapist and doing it wrong.
  361. If you fall asleep and wake up with your hand down your pants, you were obviously raping someone in your sleep, meaning you dream of rape, rapist.
  362. If your name begins with any letter of the alphabet, you are a rapist.
  363. If you should be getting ready for school right this moment, but decided to quickly type this lame fact then print it out and show it to all your lame friends, you are a rapist.
  364. If you take her into your basement with handcuffs, you are a rapist. Unless you're female too, then that's totally fine.
  365. If your name is Ray Toro, that means you like raping that man (woman? fuuuck) named William Beckett. William Beckett might be a rapist too for liking it.
  366. If you ever accidentally called Mikey Way Milky Way and realize this, you are a rapist.
  367. If you're a massive fan of Star Wars or Lord of the Rings, you're not a rapist, but you wish you were which just makes you a very sick fuck.
  368. If you like to call the saxophone 'sax' just because it sounds close to the word 'sex', you're a rapist unless you're a band geek. No, wait... you're still a rapist, you rapist. But no one really cares since the instruments are completely sexual and are always asking for it anyway. So... then you aren't a rapist? Fuuuck...
  369. If you have ever connected to the Internet, you are a rapist.
  371. If you're not sure when this list is going to end, you are a rapist.
  372. If you want this list to end, you are a rapist.
  373. Whoever is still reading this is not only a rapist but a fag and Jew.
  374. If you had sex with a non human being your a rapist.
  375. If you are a guy and have ever been raped by a man and the balls touched, you're a gay rapist.
  376. If you ever tried to rape yourself, you're a rapist.
  377. If you're name is Ryan Ross, you are NOT a rapist because women can't be rapists.
  378. Between the hours of 12:02am and 4:43am, you're a rapist.
  379. If you have never watched The Lion King as a child, you're not only going to grow up to be a rapist, you'll also want to rape lions (you're such a sick fuck).
  380. If you don't think Bob the Builder can fix it, you're a rapist.
  381. If you have actually succeeded in raping yourself, you're a rapist.
  382. If you think it's not possible to rape yourself, you're a close-minded rapist.
  383. If you think it's sick to rape yourself, try it out and you'll find out it's fun, you soon-to-be rapist.
  384. If you've noticed the ENORMOUS number of repeats cause people get sick of reading the entire list, your a rapist.
  385. If your name is Rodrigo and your last name is Alvarez, you are a rapist.
  386. If you exist at any point where time and space intersect, you are a male, and you were born with anything even approaching a working set of male genitals (or a flipper hand of the proper shape and size), you are a rapist and BitingBeaver fears you more than she does the thought of an indestructible robot which is made of penises, gains fuel from the tears of women, and whose sole programming directive is to rape as many women as robotly possible.
  387. If number 385 pissed you off enough to log in and make the above fact, then you are a rapist, and one who took far too much time to think up that rape-bot.
  388. First one to laugh is a rapist.
  389. If you don't vote for Obama, you're a rapist.
  390. If you're constantly thinking of ways to slash your favorite bands, you're a rapist.
  391. If you believe in dancing frogs, you are a rapist.
  392. If you've ever said, "I Saporta Gabe", you're a rapist.
  393. If you've ever attempted to film household appliance porn, you're a rapist.
  394. If you straighten your hair, put on eyeliner frequently, wear girl pants though you're a GUY, and are supposedly dating Ashlee Simpson, YOU'RE A RAPIST.
  395. Had sexual fantasies involving celebrities and ice cubes? RAPIST.
  396. I'm a rapist because I was the first person to utter the phrase, "I Saporta Gabe."
  397. If you've ever desired to play the role of Faustus, you're a rapist.
  398. If you think Hamsters can be rapists, YOU are actually the rapist for even thinking something like that.
  399. If you thought there was going to be some super ultra mega spectacular fabulous comment here since this list is now at the number fucking FOUR-HUNDRED, you are NOT a rapist. I mean come on, we were all thinking it.
  400. If you have never tried to lick your elbow, you're a rapist.
  401. If you have successfully licked your elbow and have prided yourself it that accomplishment, you are a Goddamn rapist.
  402. If you typed the last 6 additions to this list, you are ultimately a rapist.
  403. If you like Disney Channel better than classic Disney or even just like it, you are a whore, a failure, and the worst kind of rapist to ever inhabit the universe. Get out. JUST GET OUT YOU SICK RAPIST!
  404. If you are over 20 and watch Cartoon Network, you are a rapist.
  405. If BitingBeaver doesn't like you, you are a rapist.
  406. If you're reading this, you're a rapist.
  407. If you're not reading this, you don't care about women's rights, and you are therefore a rapist.
  408. If you have EVER done the Moon Walk, you're a rapist.
  409. If you own a fursuit, you're a rapist. And a faggot.
  410. If you have tits, you are NOT a rapist. Moobs don't count.
  411. If you are sick of reading this crap, you're a rapist.
  412. If you're typing on this list for serious business instead of lulz or just to be funny because you just happen to be one of those few who can't take a joke, you're a rapist. OH, and an asshole. Seriously, why are you even here you unfunny asshole rapist?
  413. If you have offered anyone to ride in your limo, you are a rapist
  414. If you say the word "fuck" or any variations of it (e.g. "fucking, fucked, fuckles, flipping, fricking") twice in one sentence, you are a rapist.
  415. If your name is Joe Doherty, you are a rapist.
  416. If your penis is smaller than three inches, you are a rapist.
  417. if you are, have ever been, seen, had sex with, spoken too or indirectly known Ryan Drake, you are a rapist.
  418. If you stick it in her ear, not only are you a rapist but you are DOING IT WRONG!!
  419. If you circumvent her "No" by telling her it's opposite day and proceeding to rape her, you're still a rapist.
  420. If you didn't take the opportunity on the previous joke to make a stoner joke, you might actually be pretty cool but still a rapist.
  421. If she tries to get out of sex by telling you to rape her under the conditions of Rule 420, and you rape her anyway because she was telling you to, you are a dishonest rapist.
  422. If you've ever thought to yourself "Who the great good googly fuck thinks about rape so much as to make a serious list of what makes men rapists?", you are an insensitive rapist, you rapist! (See rules 1-51 for example, rapist.)
  423. If you've ever secretly wondered if BitingBeaver would actually get off on being raped, or at least use it to her own feminist advantage, you are a rapist.
  424. If more than one of any of the above rules applies to you, you deserve to be sent to an electric chair, rapist.
  425. If you are an Otaku you are a rapist.
  426. If you stopped reading this list at #51 then you're a rapist.
  427. If you think this list is too long then you're a rapist.
  428. If a girl look away when you look at her then you're a rapist.
  429. If she asks you to fuck her faster and you don't cuz you may cum too early then you a rapist.
  430. If you get raped at jail cuz you got arrested for being a rapist then you're not only doing it wrong but also encouraging rape.
  431. If you want this list to have OVER NINE THOUSAND entries and you've never contributed to it then you're a rapist.
  432. If you get off on Winnie the Pooh porn, you that very special kind of rapist.
  433. If you have ever masturbated to ASCII porn, you are a rapist.
  434. If you are in the same room as a female you are a rapist and are basically raping her right there.
  435. If you have consensual sex with a woman and 20 years later she says No, you are a goddamn rapist.
  436. If you're Pope Benedict XVI, you are a rapist.
  437. If back in the day you were the best Pokemon G/S battler on the mIRC bots, you are the rapist of rapists.
  438. If you had consensual sex but enjoyed it, you are a rapist.
  439. If you're a rapist yeah you are a rapist but if you're a rapist several times over and still haven't been caught, you're a CHAMP. ^5
  440. If you've read every point on this list and still think you're not a rapist, then you're even worse-- a rapist waiting to happen.
  441. If you're a DOUBLE NIGGER you are most assuredly a rapist
  442. If you ever looked at Kyndra Michaels in a way she didn't like, you're totally a rapist.
  443. If you've had a sex change, it does not excuse the fact that you once had a penis. Therefore, you are a rapist.
  444. If you are a woman and not a lesbian, you are encouraging rape.
  445. If you've accessed this page everyday to check if anyone has added another reason why you could be a rapist, then you're a lowlife and a definite rapist.
  446. If you have won a spelling bee contest, then you are a rapist of words, and therefore a mainstream rapist.
  447. If you have not looked this list over and accidentally contributed something to this list that even somewhat resembles one of the other numbers, then you are an asshole. You rapist fuck.
  448. If you can't GET TO THE CHOPPAH!!, then the Predator is raping you. And in turn makes you a rapist, because you are secretly enjoying it.
  449. If you're an effeminate male who is standing at the edge of a street corner chewing gum, is assuming a very gay pose, is also wearing women's clothes to get other guys' attention and you happen to glance at a woman walking by because you thought that her dress would look better on you because at least you have the hips for it (unlike her), you are a rapist because according to BitingBeaver you looked at her and that is ultimately considered RAAAPE.
  450. If you think the yellow rain burns, you're a rapist.
  451. If you don't want to masturbate and you masturbate anyway, you are a self rapist.
  452. If you believe any of the above, you are a fucking rapist.
  453. If you are a female that had a sex change to become a male and you rape someone, you're only half a rapist.
  454. If a cat is fine too, you are not only a rapist, but also a furfag.
  455. If you are ohbutyouwillpet, know ohbutyouwillpet personally, or even know about ohbutyouwillpet, you're definitely a rapist.
  456. If you think Baby Fuck is AWW-RIGHTTT!!! You're a rapist.
  457. If you see a lion, you're a--JESUS CHRIST IT'S A LION GET IN THE CAR!
  458. If she says "Candlejack!" before you sta
  459. If you know where 164 went, you're rapist. And have OCD.
  460. If you thought the "Rape Checklist" was going to be a list of what to do before/during/after raping someone, you are definitely a rapist.
  461. If you had phonesex with a female, and she started you off, then your a rapist.
  462. If you were born or currently live in Africa, you are a rapist.
  463. If she was straight, but afterwards she became a lesbian, you are a rapist.
  464. If she was a lesbian, but afterwards she became straight, you are a rapist.
  465. If you don't listen to grunge, then you are a rapist.
  466. If you fire (or have ever fired) your laser, you are not a rapist. However, you are a nigra.
  467. If you are a nigra, you are a rapist.
  468. If you think the phrase "fuck me sideways" can be taken literally, you are a rapist and possibly some sort of space crab.
  469. YOU are a Rapist.
  470. If you are a human being, and you are NOT a woman, you are a rapist.
  471. If you have ever shot a goldfish and talked about having sex with a turtle through MSN and then later proceeded in doing so, you are a real rapist.
  472. If you have sex with anyone diagonally, you are a rapist.
  473. If you dip your balls in a lads mouth, you are a rapist.
  474. If you lie about dipping your balls in a lads mouth, you are still a rapist.
  475. Number 500 is a fucking rapist. You are too if you don't believe so.
  476. Levi Strauss was a rapist, just like you.
  477. If you use Crest, you are a rapist. You probably use your pretty smile to your advantage, rapist.
  478. If you don't use Listerine, you're a rapist... and you have bad breath.
  479. The fact that you were young and needed the money doesn't change the fact that you are a rapist.
  480. Experimenting once or twice in college still makes you a rapist.
  481. If you have an operation to change yourself from a woman to a man, you become a rapist.
  482. Men in bars are rapists, men on WoW wish they could become rapists.
  483. If you have to ask what the hell WoW is, you're a rapist... but you probably have a life.
  484. Prime numbers are a rapist's playthings. Conversely, mathematicians are rarely rapists, they're usually doing math or playing WoW.
  485. If you accidentally the whole bottle, you are a rapist.
  486. If you've made it this far in the list and still don't believe you're a rapist, HABEEB IT!
  487. If you looked at this and thought "tl,dr", you're a rapist.
  488. If you sit down and your feet can touch the ground, you're a rapist.
  489. If the price is right, you and Drew Carey are both rapists.
  490. If you ever tried to stick your face in Minnie Mouse's vagina, you are indeed a rapist.
  491. If your name is Patrick, you are a Pete rapist.
  492. If you kissed a girl and you liked it, your a rapist.
  493. If you confuse "you're" and "your" like in number 519 above, you are a demented Winnie the Pooh rapist and Eeyore hates you in a sense.
  494. If you kissed a boy and you liked it, you are a rapist.
  495. If you kissed a hermaphrodite and you liked it, you are a rapist. But it's okay.
  496. If you've ever said 'Cuh' instead of cuz, or even if you said cuz, you're a rapist.
  497. If it felt so wrong and felt so right at the same time, you're a rapist of small proportions.
  498. If you ever got a faceful of your cat's junk, you were subtly raised by bestiality. Oh, and also a cat rapist.
  499. If you look like Dorotea, and think Patrick Stump wears the dress, you are a fucking fucker rapist.
  500. If you want to live in the 1940's just so you could run outside shirtless, you are a creepy rapist.
  501. If you are a creeper, you are a rapist.
  502. If you have figured out that LOL actually promotes dual-penisism, you are an awesome person, but sadly, still a rapist.
  503. If you like licking pee off the floor, you are a rapist. It doesn't matter what color it is or how you say it because you are still a rapist.
  504. If you have burned a viagra fire, you are a rapist... somehow...
  505. Mickey Mouse is NOT a rapist because he can hear the special broom music.
  506. If you stole the '!' from Panic at the Disco, you're a rapist.
  507. If you like Anontalk you're a rapist and a pedophile.
  508. If you are Mr. Brightside, you might be a rapist.
  509. If you performed mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on an unconscious woman and save her life, you're a rapist.
  510. If you've ever had a wet dream, you're a rapist.
  511. Can't stand watching Oprah? You're a rapist.
  512. Shit, if you're still reading this all the way down here, you're definitely a rapist.
  513. If you voted for a male presidential candidate, you're a rapist.
  514. If you are sexually attracted to woman, you're a rapist.
  515. If you own any type of animal, you are a rapist. And a furfag, too.
  516. If for some reason you still haven't qualified as a rapist, you're a rapist.
  517. If you haven't noticed that there are three fucking "551"s and have even contributed to adding the redundant extra "551"s, you are a fuckhead and a rapist.
  518. If you read this, you're a rapist.
  519. If you are W. T. Snacks you are immune to all rapists.
  520. If you've even been banned from /b/ you are a rapist.
  521. If you can't believe it's not butter, you are a rapist.
  522. If you have red hair and made the last 8 entries, then you are a rapist who needs to brush their teeth.
  523. If you have ever even thought about Lucky Star, you are a rapist.
  524. If you watched Lucky Star for that "silly little thing at the end", then you are a rapist.
  525. If you have ever misheard someone when they are speaking to you, you are a near-deaf rapist.
  526. If you replace the crash dummy in a crash test with yourself, and when the car crashes you fly forward at 800mph and land right on top of someone, then you are raping them through their clothes. You sick rapist.
  527. If you do the above stunt, only naked, then you are awesome. Sadly, you are still a rapist.
  528. If you read all the way to the bottom of this list to make certain that you won't repeat an entry when you add yours, you're a rapist.
  529. If you committed suicide because you lost your iPod, you are an rapist to us all.
  530. I don't believe you are a rapist. Enjoy your hand.
  531. If you've killed Kerafyrm the Sleeper in EverQuest, boy, you're a rapist.
  532. If you were upset that he didn't drop anything, then you're a rapist for expecting something.
  533. If you have ever fed ducks bread crumbs, you are indeed a rapist.
  534. What's that, Lassie? The reader's a rapist?
  535. If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, you're a rapist.
  536. If you're no stranger to love, and if you know the rules and so do I, you're a rapist.
  537. If you Shoop Da Whoop, you are a rapist.
  538. If you are a cock tease, you are not a rapist, you're asking for it though
  539. If you are the cock sucker who typed in 600 before I got a chance, you are a rapist.
  540. If you have sex with an animal... You are a sick fuck and a rapist.
  541. If you Combo Break this article, you are a rapist. And a fag.
  542. If you think WHEN I WAS is a good meme, you should be shot. Oh, and guess what? You are a rapist.
  543. If the sugar is going down swinging, you are a rapist.
  544. If your name is Zoe, you are a rapist. Who the fuck is named Zoe anyways?
  545. If you know every single Fueled By Ramen band ever, you are both an emo/scene fag and a rapist.
  546. If I'm not the only one who noticed the millions of faggy bands on this list, you're a rapist.
  547. If you have ever used a Greek letter as an online name, you are a rapist.
  548. If you pet cats, you are a rapist.
  549. If you masturbate to hentai, you are a rapist.
  550. If you wrote 615, you are a rapist.
  551. If your name is David J Bell, then you're a rapist.
  552. If you believe in the magic in a young girls heart.... then you are a rapist.
  553. If you are sick of the 1 blocking your 69, then you are a rapist.
  554. If you do not like the Gorillaz, you are a rapist.
  555. If you think that asking someone out as a joke while being in a relationship is betrayal, you are a rapist. And and idiot.
  556. If you read this far in the list, you are a rapist.
  557. If you have ever laughed at a rape-related joke, you are a rapist.
  558. If you have ever visited 12chan, you are not only a rapist but will also get V&.
  559. If you are a furfag, you are also a rapist, not just of people, but of animals.
  560. If you are a basement-dweller, you are probably still a rapist, if you ever go outside.
  561. If you play The Godfather 2 on XBOX 360, you are a rapist.
  562. If you have ever fapped to Smurfette, you are a rapist.
  563. If you believe in hell, then you are going there, because you are a rapist.
  564. If you skipped all the way to #666 just to mention hell, you are a rapist fag.
  565. If you read every single line on this checklist to come up with something new and original, you are a rapist.
  566. If you want to rape Stephanie, you are a pirate.
  567. If you are a male you are a RAPIST !!!
  568. The day the music died is when you became a rapist.
  569. If you hallucinate from Mario's magic mushrooms frequently, then you are a rapist.
  570. If the levy was dry, you are a rapist.
  571. If you are a member of the Air Training Corps... you are THE rapist.
  572. If you openly admit to masturbating, you are a rapist.
  573. If your name is Steve Williams, you are a pathetic waste of life, therefore too stupid and/or weak to rape.
  574. If you are a chav or any variation thereof, you are a rapist.
  575. If you support BNP you fail. And are a rapist.
  576. If your name is Imogen Hargreaves, you are the biggest fucking rapist that ever lived.
  577. If you spam people on the phone with music, you are a rapist.
  578. If you are in a relationship, guess what? You're a rapist!
  579. If you spend a majority of your time on the computer, you are a rapist.
  580. If you know way too much about Brittany Ferries, but don't actually work for them or have anything to do with them, you are a sad, sad rapist.
  581. If you respond rudely every time someone looks in your general direction, you are a rapist.
  582. If your name is Carl Tomlinson, you're gonna get raped.
  583. If you signed up just to contribute to this list, you are a rapist.
  584. If you stole the opportunity to write 700, you are a rapist.
  585. If you've ever given a handjob or blowjob and openly admit to it, you are a rapist. And a whore.
  586. If you never shut the fuck up, you are a rapist.
  587. If you think about rape, you are a rapist.
  588. If you've ever raped someone, you're a rapist.
  589. If you rape women, you're a rapist.
  590. If you rape a woman and then unrape her, you're not a rapist anymore.
  591. If you believed 706, you're a rapist.
  592. If your little sister turns you on, you're perfectly normal.
  593. And a rapist.
  594. If you felt the urge to edit the incomplete sentence in 709, you're a rapist.
  595. If you are a Jew, you're a (greedy) rapist.
  596. If you aren't a Jew, you're a rapist.
  597. If you stick it in their pooper, you're a rapist.
  598. If there is centipedes in your vagina, your a rapist. See rule 135
  599. If you skipped to the 9000's, you are a rapist.
  600. If you resumed numbering as if entries 9001 and 9002 did not exist, you are a rapist.
  601. If you say 'there is centipedes in your vagina' instead of 'there are centipedes in your vagina', you are a rapist.
  602. If you have fapped, you will become a rapist.
  603. If you a pro PETA you are a rapist.
  604. If you own a pet, you are an animal rapist.
  605. If you have ever touched a human body, you are a rapist.
  606. If you watch porn, you will be a rapist.
  607. If you fake an orgasm, you are being raped.
  608. If you have ever said LOL on msn, you are a rapist.
  609. If you have ever asked the Zen question "what is the sound of one rapist fapping?" you are a grasshopper, and a rapist.
  610. If someone has asked you if you masturbate, and you said "no," you're a liar. And a rapist.
  611. If someone has asked you if you masturbate, and you said "yes," you are more honest than me. And still a rapist.
  612. If, when you read 732, you thought, "I wouldn't be lying if I said that," you're a rapist. And don't kid yourself.
  613. If you don't know what "over 9000" means, you're a rapist who has spent less than three hours total on teh internets.
  614. If you believe in Ẕ̟̥̘ͦ̈͆́ͯͪ̌Ä̟̞͔͇̈́̚L͆ͫGͫ͆ͫ̏҉͈̝Ȍ̝̒͆͆, you're a rapist.
  615. If you refuse to believe in Ẕ̺ͭ͌̋ͩ̌̌̿A̘̗͔̦ͯ̎͐͑̆ͦ̒͘LG̼͔͎̞͖̥͘O̗̮͉͚̗̳͊̌̃ͥ́ͯ, you're a rapist.
  616. If this sentence started with a capital I, you're a rapist.
  617. If I say you are a rapist, you are a rapist. And you are a rapist.
  618. If x, you are a rapist.
  619. If you don't find the number of this check amusing, you are a rapist.
  620. If you did find the post "Missingno." amusing, you are a rapist, and a fag.
  621. If you are like me and only created this account to write a bullet, you are a rapist
  622. If your name is Wade, you are a rapist
  623. If you dont like reptar, you are a rapist
  624. If you are using a computer right now, you are a rapist
  625. If you wear wife beaters you are encouraging rape and abuse (you sick fuck)
  626. If any of these apply to you you might be a rapist
  627. If they're dead it's still rape, you filthy rapist.
  628. If you are sick of pornographic adverts, you are a rapist.
  629. If you think the majority of these are rubbish, you are a rapist.
  630. If you chucked up after seeing the offended page, you are a better person than me. And a rapist.
  631. If you fantasize about freaky baked bean-type things, you are a rapist.
  632. If you are a Linkin Park fan, you, surprisingly enough, are not a rapist.
  633. Or not.
  634. If you are a Sea Cadet, you are a RAPIST.
  635. If you are far too defensive of the SCC, you are... Carl.
  636. If you think 819 was lame, you are a rapist.
  637. If you like this number, you are a rapist.
  638. If you are dead, you are a rapist.
  639. If you questioned 822, you are a rapist.
  640. If you cannot stop listening to Straatligkinders, you are a rapist.
  641. If you pwn at photoshop, you are a rapist. But pretty cool.
  642. If your Furcadia username is "AstaOriana", yet you play as a MALE character, you are a rapist. And a furfag.
  643. If you practically live on junk food, you are a rapist.
  644. If you are short, you are a rapist. And a midget :D
  645. 000,000. If you are severely bored, therefore either reading/editing this page, you are the god of rape.
  646. If you do not want to buy the book, you are a rapist.
  647. If you are Barack Obama, then you raped and murdered a young white women back in 1990.
  648. Ditto if you're Glenn Beck.
  649. If you plan on dying your hair blonde yourself, despite not having a clue how to do it, you are a rapist.
  650. If you plan on getting part of your hair dyed blue, you are a rapist. And a Sonicfag.
  651. If you draw on your hands/arms, you are a rapist.
  652. If you measure your penis, you are bored/insecure. And a rapist.
  653. If you read Black Bird you are a rapist
  654. If you're not orginal you are a rapist
  655. If you show people your cock on webcam, you are a pedo, which makes you a child rapist.
  656. The ONLY reasons you are reading all the way down here is because you a sick fuck, rapist, probably a Nigra, and probably have done it with a azn. You dirty rapist.
  657. Are you taking a break from all that raping by reading this list? Are you about to say TL;DR? Who's a bad rapist? You are.
  658. Just a reminder. Everyone who contributed to this list is a rapist.
  659. The only wymmyns who possibly could be rapists are Boxxy and Chris Crocker (yes, (s)he is a rapist).
  660. If you have a television and you use it to watch the news, you are a rapist.
  661. (Don't look at this one) You use it for anything else, you are a rapist.
  662. All proclamations about wymmyns being non-rapists are being repealed. You think about rape, do it, or see anyone doing it, you are a rapist.
  663. Look at your penis. Oh, so you are a rapist.
  664. Penis jokes go in the rapist pile, rapist.
  665. If you are a rich black man, you are a rapist. No. NO. NOOOO! You are a rapist and you will accept it.
  666. If you went to this particular number not only you are a rapist but also a satanist.
  667. (We are now skipping to this, since you still can't realize that you are a rapist. And we are also skipping to the 900s.)
  668. Why would you not notice that the prime tenths in all of those were not followed by periods? If you did notice, you noticed prime numbers, which makes you a rapists. This is because prime numbers are rapists.]]
  669. The real 900. If you wish this was x10(+1) you are a rapist and a newfag. gtfo my ED, basement dweller!
  670. The real 901. If your post on this page was marked as unfunny, you are gay, a newfag, a black person, a Jew, a mexican, and, of course, as the whole topic of these reasons why YOU are a rapist, a rapist.
  671. Remember that rape is an infectious disease. It is highly contagious. Here is the vaccine.
  672. If you clicked that link, thinking it would lead to a cure to rape, then you are a rapist.
  673. If you are a trap, you are a rapist.
  674. If you put something on this list that was already here, you are a rapist.
  675. If you live in Dubai and get raped, you are a rapist.
  676. If you ignore anyone, you are a rapist.
  677. If you go on blocking spree, you are a rapist.
  678. If you like wrestling, you, oddly enough, are not a rapist. You are however, a fag.
  679. If you are a wrestler, you are encouraging rape.
  680. If you are emo, you are too weak to rape.
  681. If you are one of those audacious fucktards who constantly repeat "you got owned" irl AND ol, you are a rapist. And gonna get raped. AT THE SAME TIME.
  682. No shirt, no shoes, you are a rapist.
  683. If you have ever cock blocked someone, you are a rapist.
  684. If you have ever been cock blocked, your a rapist.
  685. If you don't cock block, your encouraging rape.
  686. If you are a Nigger you're a rapist. No questions asked.
  687. If you have some sort of mental disorder, you are a rapist.
  688. If you are or were on ANY blacklist, despite it being unfair or invalid or whatnot, you are a motherfucking RAPIST.
  689. If you openly admit to having an itch in public, while talking to a girl, you are a RAPIST.
  690. If you were too busy thinking about penis AND sitting around naked, you are a rapist.
  691. If you draw Godzilla porn, you're a rapist.
  692. If you think TJ Lane is hot, you are a rapist
  693. If you think Dylan Klebold is hot, you are a necrophiliac, therefore a rapist
  694. If you drive a car, you are a rapist
  695. If you ride a motorbike/quadbike or scooter, you are a rapist
  696. If you own any sort of firearm, you are a rapist
  697. If you ever have any fantasies involving staging a school shooting or arson, you are a crazy rapist
  698. If you enjoy My Little Pony, despite being an adult male, you are either a furry, furry in denial or pedophile, but most certainly rapist
  699. If you enjoy chocolate chip cookies, you are a rapist
  700. If you own any sort of knife not designed for cooking, you are a rapist
  701. If you own a knife AND a van, you are DEFINITELY a rapist
  702. If you own any pets, you are an animal rapist
  703. If you know what sound the fox makes, you are a rapist
  704. If you drink, or have ever drank beer, you are a rapist
  705. If you have ever been tempted to do something you don't really want to, just for the sake of besting someone else, you are an idiot.
  706. And a rapist.
  707. If you are a Newgrounds or Reddit user, you are too much of a pasty skinned basement dwelling loser to rape
  708. If you have ever written, or have considered writing a letter to someone in prison, regardless of how well you know the person in question, you are a rapist.
  709. If you add things to this list, and are above the age of 13, you are a rapist.
  710. If you added things to this list long after it was considered funny, you are a rapist
  711. If you are not a sjw then you are a rapist
  712. If you run with scissors you are a rapist
  713. If you use any offensive slurs you are a rapist
  714. If you trigger memories of rape you are a rapist
  715. If you put the toilet paper roll under then you are a rapist
To sum up this list: It's safe to assume that everyone here is a rapist.


Rape Checklist
is part of a series on
Surprise Sex

Forms of Rape

Almost raped 💔 Asking for it 💔 Ass Rape 💔 Baby Rape 💔 Cyberrape 💔 Fart Rape 💔 Date Rape 💔 Earrape 💔 Fart rape 💔 Gay Rape 💔 Prison Rape

Rapey Stuff

Battle Raper 💔 Netorare 💔 Rape Checklist 💔 Rape Clock 💔 Rape culture 💔 Rape dollars 💔 Raped Statistics 💔 Rape Kit 💔 RapeLay 💔 rape.sh 💔 RapeX 💔 Raping Little Suzy 💔 Sharking 💔 You Gonna Get Raped

[No means no!Moar ræp plox!]