Randi Harper AKA "sektie", "freeBSDgirl", "sektorgrrl", "sekt0rgrl", "miSSpIgGy", "taniane" or "PMS Randi" (among other sockpuppet irc aliases) is a batshit insane meth addict, attention whore, troll, cyberbully, regular bully, prolific online harasser, professed HFA sufferer, and admitted child pornography manufacturer that was forced to resign from Yahoo! where she railed meth in the bathrooms, played WoW and cybered at her desk all day.
She was also fired from her previous employer ISS and is now moonlighting as a professional Internet provocateur, when she isn't literally trying to sell her children to pedophiles for more crack money (this is not a joke, she allegedly did that).
Harper is filled with unending hate for
fellow former land-whale Girlvinyl. This is due to a long bitch fight over who could become the fattest cow (Randi won. Sherrod gave up the good fight and got her stomach stapled). Eventually, Sherrod retreated to OhInternet and was never heard from again, while Randi won and continues to live on the internet to this day. Randi is such a massive lolcow that even with Sherrod not being here anymore, her article still ends up on ED's front page every other year six months.
Bitch is Cray That's All I Gotta Say
—Randi Harper, Her comeback for any form of criticism or her cyberbullying ways
Randi is a bona fide case study of someone hellbent on being a complete failure at every turn in her life. Before achieving universal revulsion, she discovered through the power of self diagnosed autism and underage tits she could easily manipulate the pathetic manchildren found in Linux development communities. Since the only female presence typically found in these dark corners of the Internet always turned out to be 13 year old boys, she was considered quite the prize. As she advanced in age, Randi soon realized that she could blatantly take credit for the work of actual autistic nerds and begin claiming to make highly important contributions to computer science. When anyone protested she would merely cozy up to the nearest source of authority and have her enemies silenced. This worked for quite some time until she tried to pull the same shit with people who didn't give a fuck about her rotten tuna snatch and didn't talk out their ass about fucking shit up. This breakdown of tactics was a rude awakening for Randi and began her long hate affair with people daring to point out her neverending list of flaws.
"Freebsdgirl" constantly talks about FreeBSD and how great and awesome it is. Like other people that have an operating system in their nick (ex: Linuxbeak) she knows nothing about her OS of choice that could not be garnered from reading basic HOWTOs on the Internet. Sektie was backdoored the day she installed her Unix-like system, but an unnamed party took great pity on her fate and alerted her to the presence of said backdoor. To this day, the person who backdoored her remains quite angry that this was leaked. She also got backdoored by zb, as shown by her flickr account . For some reason zb has no shame in banging this fat pig and freely admits it, but then again, zb has never expressed shame over anything.
In casual discussion she may mention how she spent her weekend writing kernel drivers or optimizing a threading model, but FreeBSD is conspicuously absent of kernel commits by Randi. She is basically the type of cocksucking know-it-all failure that lurks Slashdot, except she's female. Or at least so we think. She posts 'help' on lists without reading what people said because she knows best. She also solves vague problems by asking even more vague questions but still thinks she is a genius because she is a girl that can use an alternative OS.
Want to fuck with Randi, and about 9,000 other FreeBSD users simultaneously? 1. Log into any free email service other then guerrillamail.com 2. Make popcorn and punch yourself in the face a few times. 3. Set the destination of the email to [email protected] 4. Add the name Randi Harper or Freebsdgirl, they will know who your talking about. 5. Shitpost like you're back on /b/, with a christmas tree shoved up your ass. 6. Eat popcorn and enjoy the show! 6.1 Masturbate while thinking of your dad. Bonus : Watch her twitter account as she has a fullmelt down!
2001: An Unwanted Odyssey
In approx 1997, when Sektie was 16, she realized her parents were growing tired of her lacking interest in getting the fuck out of their house or graduating high school. She promptly fled and shacked up with a fat ugly irc nerd with the nick "uglypig" (no-joke). Lacking all skills or employable abilities she begged someone to teach her skid tactics and carded her and her b/f a bus ticket to New York where they lived off of carded pizza and carded cheeseburgers. Finally satiated, they spent their time sitting around having gross fat ugly illegal pigsex together until the fateful day when a fat ugly pigbaby was born. Not wanting a child, but seeing an opportunity for profit, Sektie did one of two things:
1. Bantown's Version of Events Sektie sold her baby to known pedo RLoxley for +o on #hackphreak. As we know, the internets are serious business and giving your child away for ops is absolutely worth it. RLoxley sold the baby to some fellow NAMBLA pals on eBay and to this day Sektie has not seen or spoken with parents or child again. This was after she offered to randomly ditch her kids outside a church to go live in Australia with Satyricon who then refused her offer to state she was too fat. At some point later, Sektie somehow got knocked up again, and did the same thing with the baby. Perhaps for +o on #hack?
2. GNAA's Version of Events
After wrecking Randi's ultra secure servers and her personal box, Gay Niggers retrieved valuable emails written by the cow herself. Sektie after birthing her child promptly dumped the baby on her parents and went back to stealing credit cards with scripts she didn't write and claiming to be doing very important work on FreeBSD. This continued until in complete frustration her mother threatened to sue her for child support if she didn't get her fat ass in gear and do something about her crotch dropping.
Trouble with the law
BJ for Meth
Some Sektie quotes on her non-addiction to meth (all of these were within a 5 minute conversation):
- She has been a meth user for 4 years but has "never gotten addicted."
- "Can you get meth?"
- "Do any of your friends know where to get meth?"
- "Are you sure you don't know anyone who can get meth?"
- "I'd really like to score some meth."
Having a meth addiction while working at Yahoo is hard, so Randi saw no other option than to suck some dick for meth. Unfortunately for her, she was complete shit at it, so the guy never actually finished and bitchslapped her away in disgust. Because of her lackluster oral skills, Randi was fired.
sektie: i'm going to write a book sektie: and it's going to suck. sektie: it's going to suck worse than i do. sektie: i've decided i have no writing skill whatsoever. sektie: i'm devoid of talent sektie: all i have is breasts sektie: and with age, even those will sag sektie: and then i'll have nothing. sektie: i'll have no talent, saggy boobs, and a stupid book.
When Sektie had a moment of clarity and she realized how worthless she was.
18:50 <@sung> how do you move into a rent control place? 18:51 <@randi> you fuck a boy, move in with him, and then break up with him and kick his ass out.
18:58 <@randi> adrian was good in bed. very good, in fact. however it did not make up for all of his drama and baggage. then when i was running meetbsd, which i *sponsored* his plane tickets to come to, he spent the entire time working and not actually paying any attention to the conference. instead it was igor that was all "do you need any help? are you doing ok?" etc. it was a lot of stuff. then he was asked to leave my apartment because i was having a party and all he was going to do was sit around and work and be a killjoy, and he said he would leave, but then he didn't. then he threw a chair at my best friend. so then it was over, more or less.
<@randi> seething. in. rage. <@randi> i mean, seriously. who the fuck tries to connect to ssl via ssh? <@randi> ssh must be the end all solution for connecting to *anything* that is encrypted <@randi> i mean, my god. <@randi> seriously. <@randi> how the fuck did i ever have sex with him. <@Verjigorm> Tab A, slot B <@rm-fr> you had sex with someone who doesn't know the difference between ssh and ssl and who can't configure a FreeBSD workstation? <@randi> YES <@randi> i'm going to go home and scrub my vag until it bleeds.
<sektie> go to banana republic at least if you insist upon shopping at the old navy line of companies. <ninj4> that place is expenisve <sektie> i've done lines in the dressing room at banana republic too, but i felt kind of dirty doing it there <sektie> because banana republic is sorta ghetto. <calib0rx> sektie: when the fuck did you do lines at bananna republic <sektie> uh <DigDug> the gap has been pretty good as far as cheap stuff <sektie> when i bought those really cool pants <sektie> remember the black cargo pants? <sektie> i wore them at the party at your house <calib0rx> you mean that night you fucking disappeared for 2 hours shopping? <sektie> oh, yeah, that night :) <issuez> haha <calib0rx> WELL THAT EXPLAINS IT
<@billn> still don't believe you. <@billn> oh wait, I'm at lunch <@randi> billn: gobbling cock doesn't qualify as lunch <@randi> although i'm sure your protein count is great. <@rm-rf> point to randi <@billn> rm-rf: what, you agree with her? <@rm-rf> that you gag on cock? <@rm-rf> its hard not to, when presented with the overwhelming evidence <@randi> gagging is for noobs. <@randi> take it like a man <@randi> relax the throat. <@randi> swallow as it pushes up against your tonsils <@rm-rf> smoke more cloves <@randi> it'll keep you from gagging so hard. <@MrZodiac> Oh randi, tell me more
I run a fairly high-profile blog and I need abortion advice
While in Atlanta, Randi was able to secure a spot in the soft, BDSM-loving heart of the EFNET goon calib0rx. As you can see, he wants her to be something with a collar on. Some sort of a pig-beast? We're not sure, you be the judge.
But that's not even the most funny part. The best part is that... HE KNOCKED HER UP AND SHE HAD AN ABORTION
"I run a fairly high-profile blog (non-lj), and I've had to keep all mentions of this out of it, because I'm worried about the attacks. Trolls know no limits, not even livejournal."
Mother of the Year
Wow, she's sure doing a great job of ensuring the safety of her child! Sektie should write a book on 1337 parenting skillz. Fun fact, she has a third child who currently lives with a gay couple (her step-dad and ex-husband). Probably because CPS caught on about the meth habit. You can't spell METH WHORE without MOTHER!
While she was living in Atlanta and working for ISS, she agreed to have Dr. Hamstuh (an EFnet personality who is an IRL homeless crack addict, no joke) over at her place (probably for cracky sex). Apparently, the rough streets of Atlanta are more tolerable than sharing a bed with Sektie because he left in the middle of the night without a word to her. He emptied her fridge of beer and pizza on his way out.
Everyone who dislikes her is girlvinyl
If you ever disagree with Sektie you're either Girlvinyl, just another Girlvinyl, or just another Girlvinyl fanboi. She has IRREFUTABLE PROOF and she will pay ten thousand dollars to anyone who disagrees and can prove they are not Girlvinyl. She has such a nice personality that noone could possibly like her because of her meth obsession, her know-it-all demeanor or her
acting like being a stupid cunt. Quotes like this:
... or this:
Having the tech skills of a retarded, 4 year old blind kid, it would only seem natural that Randi would try to code a blocklist for IGDA's website so that they don't have to listen to customers of the people they hope to join when they complain that their employees are trading sex for good game reviews (thankfully, few people are actually dumb enough to join IGDA). The blocklist is horribly coded, so it is no surprise that it would include journalists, game devs that IGDA represents, one of the chairmen of IGDA and the father of fried chicken, KFC. All of whom "The International Game Developer Association" thereby implicitly called a bunch of rapists and leading a number of them to quit IGDA.
Yes, the tools using this tool are not able to see what chickeny goodness the colonel is bringing. All because a lot of lonely and fat gamergate nerds are following KFC. Or maybe it is because actual niggers are amid gamergate. Nobody knows.
The member of IGDA who added that list to their site would later try to claim that it was only a third-party tool and that they had nothing to do with it beyond posting a link to it. However, a quick look at the twatters of everyone involved soon proved that this was not true and members of IGDA took an active part in creating it.
After the patriarchy turned down her autoblocking script (because it was coded in peanut butter and used condoms), she quickly turned to ferguson for attention. Somewhere between taking it in the ass from a jumbo Bad Dragon horse cock and snorting gaggers cocaine off of Anita Sarkeesian's snatch, she got the bright idea to port the blocklist to Ferguson, and attempt to tie Gamergate supports to it. Of course since she has no coding skills the porting went as well as the Dark Souls port, meaning that someone else needed to fix it.
In response to the criticism IGDA deleted their "Contact" page.
A data scientist who studied GamerGate described the blocklist as the result of "shoddy coding and sloppy thinking", created by someone who "wanted to create an anti-harassment tool and instead created a wonderful tool that protects you from fried chicken", and ranked it "up there with Therac-25 and the race condition in the XA/21 energy monitoring software causing the 2003 blackout on the illustrative list of software mishaps that affect real lives." As revenge for destroying her facade of technical sophistication in front of adoring SJW followers, Randi accused the scientist of being a fake who puts down women and led a Twitter mob to harass him until he closed his account.
Randi bullies a fellow SJW
Because someone else briefly stole the spotlight from the blue-haired meth addict, Randi got quite upset and started her usual tactics of bullying innocent women, as other women are not allowed to share any of her victim status. Claire Schumann did the unspeakable act of trying to talk to the opposition instead of just yelling at them in a meth-fueled rant, so Randi wasted no time from her busy life of playing World of Warcraft to attack a woman.
You can read about the harassment here
Randi Harper Fans
Seeing as FreeBSDGirl is very popular, her many fans have decided to create art in her honor.
Quotes from devoted freebsdgirl enthusiasts.
Views On Feminism and sexy games
Women have contributions to computing? Heh, just kidding. ;) Apparently, females have a hard time of things at work. I don’t often bitch about being a female in IT. I don’t act like I’ve got it harder because I’m the proud owner of two lovely XX chromosomes. That doesn’t mean I don’t notice situations in the workplace where it would be easier if I was a guy - far from it. One thing I’ve remarked on is the difference in perception of a new employee based on the gender. If a male walks into a new computer job, he’s assumed competent unless proven otherwise. With a female, it’s the other way around. It’s not like I don’t disagree with the females running that site. I’ve got to wonder though, do they really help anything? My generation of 20-somethings has grown up being told that females are equal to men. We have special student loans, we get better car insurance rates, and we even live longer on average. I’m not blind nor an idealist; I know there’s still problems. If you keep repeating a message over and over again, it starts to lose its meaning. The feminist movement used to mean something. People used to take it seriously. Females used to take it seriously. Now, we’ve even turned on ourselves. Either we sneer at feminism, saying it’s for hairy muff-licking bull-dykes, or we go entirely overboard with it and furiously berate any man that dares to open a door for us. The meaning behind the word feminist was lost in translation sometime between the 60’s and now. I don’t have the answer, why are you looking at me? I just like stating the obvious.
As I think I mentioned in a previous post, I recently picked up a xbox360. I bought a few games, including two "hey look at those boobies" games: Rumble Roses XX and Dead or Alive Xtreme 2. The type of games they are is fairly evident just from their packaging. DoAX2 defies gravity and physics. RRXX lets me kick girls in the head. Oh, yeah. I'm all about these games. My beef with them is that the game play is highly affected by how the girls feel about each other. You have to build up relationships and make sure you're friends with someone before you can partner with them, and if you aren't BFF with your partner, then your game will be lacking. What the fuck. You know, I don't remember having to build up relationships before kicking some ass in Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat. These games are 100% female, yes - but they are clearly designed (bouncing boobies!) with a male player in mind. What male player in his right mind is going to want to bother building up a relationship with some chick just so they can play volleyball together? The hell? All pretense of realism was completely thrown out the window in DoAX2 - if you don't believe me, watch the trailer. It's like boobs in space. Gravity does not exist. If you're going to ignore physics, then why bother observing the belief that women have to be friends to work well together? I don't want to be friends. I just want to see your boobs defy nature as I kick you in the head, or lob a volleyball at you. Gaming industry, please stop bringing this women are from venus shit to the table. My life is complicated enough. Now some chick in DoAX2 is pissed at me and won't be my partner anymore because I bought her some suntan lotion. You have to buy gifts for your friends and they have to like the gifts, or they get all snarky and drop you like a hot potato. This is a bunch of bullshit.
As a female committer, I have to say that you're asking to be treated differently by proposing unnecessary changes in such a fashion. While the wording could have been better in regards to being more professional (such as the patch that pjd committed), saying that a female isn't going to use FreeBSD because of a humorous statement in a man page is ridiculous. If you don't want to see prejudice in IT communities, stop making everything a gender issue. Instead, if you would like to see more changes in the future, propose a phrasing that is more professional and leave your gender out of it. -- randi
Because Randi doesn't give a fuck about anybody else, even her dog, she likes to dye her dog. Something that is potentially dangerous for the animal, you sick fuck, Randi. Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?
How bad of a person do you have to be in order for PETA to be right?
Doctoring a police report and calls it a Swatting
Because the twacked out manatee needed some attention, she decided to photoshop a ticket she got for being mistaken for being a fucking truck parked on the sidewalk. So all she had to do was to spin that into harassment, and instantly she was once again relevant to the internet.
She went on to claim that the police went to her door, politely knocked and asked to talk with her. This is what she calls a swatting. In reality, it is just the police's job to check prostitutes to see if they are back on the streets selling their body for meth.
Rich White Girl Privilege
Being a sheltered white girl, it's sometimes necessary to maintain the appearance of being oppressed. So because she has a weaker grasp on reality than Donald Trump, the blue-haired whale cannot fathom how anyone could pay less than $3,000 a month in rent for a one room apartment. Yes, you read that correctly. She pays the same in rent as the average American earns per month. We here at ED remain perplexed as to why Shamu needs to pay rent.
Pretending to be her son on Twitter
After a pretty devastating article by Milo Yiannopoulos✡, which shows just how hypocritical and full of shit Randi really is, Randi decided that instead of actually answering the allegations in a respectful and grown-up manner, she decided instead to hide behind her son while slinging shit in order to gain sympathy points. Of course, anyone who isn't mentally retarded (which, coincidentally, all of Randi's supporters don't qualify) could see that Randi is pulling a Tim Schafer and using her son's Twitter account as a sockpuppet. Really, no sane and totally-not-addicted-to-meth mother would let her child near GamerGate, so it's painfully obvious that this is just another front for the blue-haired landwhale for another of her pity parties. We here at ED have an exclusive that it is, in fact, Madame Meth herself pretending to be a 10 year old boy, in order to solicit more Patreon dollars to spend on shit that ain't her son.
—Randi, slowly turning her son into her
Crippling WoW addiction
In addition to her outrageous meth addiction, she has another hobby (besides raking in the dough from fucktarded fat white knights) - namely playing World of Warcraft, where she will be carried by the same virgin white knights that just gave all their leftover money (but only after buying anime pillows) to Randi. Yes, despite nobody giving a shit about World of Warcraft anymore, Randi still clings to it as she knows that she will forever be unemployable due to her fat ass being glued to the seat after eating one too many twinkie-filled cupcakes. The name of her WoW loser character is Grañdma. If you are interested, she plays for the horde on the Kil'Jaeden server, so please gank the living shit out of the fat bitch. Perhaps she will stop playing WoW and learn to take care of her many children.
- Fat Girl Angle Shot
- Brianna Wu
- Anne Rice - Currently in a fight with her.
- Shay - Also pretended to be her own kid on the Internet (before her ass exploded and she ate herself to death).
- Jade Goody - An equally fat and punchable British lolcow/attentionwhore who looked oddly similar to Harper.
She has begun distancing herself from FreeBSD, thank fuck
- - All she does is bitch about gamers and GamerGate.
- - Plays Overwatch.
- Her pathetic as shit okcupid profile
- Sektie's Journal (Archive)
- Looking for dox?
- FLOSS Weekly Chat
- Failed to appear in court Back-up
- She goes to jail
- Her Amazon Wish List
- Her employer is sexist
- and sexist
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