WARNING!Around blacks, never relax!
R. Kelly (Powerword: Robert Sylvester Kelly) is a now disgraced Basketball American artist once praised by his 'people' and vaguely gay music critics as "the king of R&B" ("Rapists & Blacks") before the inevitable collapse of his underground Africunny empire and subsequent capture.
Back in the 1990s, this man's 'music' and uniquely high-pitched singing voice was the soundtrack to many a lonely nights masturbating in the bedroom with lights off. Every time one of his generic songs came on, teenage girls tended to turn into nymphomaniacs, and then proceeded to get raped by anyone within spitting distance. This turned out to be his very intention as it was later revealed he was using his music to sonically groom young girls into becoming his personal piss napkins.
Born in 1967 in Chicago, R. was a typical nigger, the only upside to his typical nigger life was the fact that he could sing. He was born and raised in Chicago's housing projects, and has claimed he was raped by both male and female relatives as a child. Naturally, he aspired to play professional basketball, but then decided to quit after he was told he could get rich and fuck bad bitches if he became a professional musician. So he dropped out of high school and started singing on underground subway platforms.
Early on, after he started making albums, there were always rumors that he was banging some of the underaged girls that came to his shows. Nothing was done, and he continued collecting virgins.
Marriage with Aaliyah
In 1994, R. Kelly illegally married a 15 year old singer named Aaliyah. Initially, they both denied this and claimed they were only friends, but it eventually came out that Aaliyah admitted to the marriage, had the records sealed and claimed the marriage was never valid since she had used a fake ID and said she was 18.
CP and golden showers.
- In 1998, he paid a 15 year old victim off after banging her in an underage orgy.
- in 2002, after ignoring the rumors for years, a video surfaced of R. bumping and grinding, then urinating on a 15 year old girl. He was then charged with 20+ counts of child pornography. He was arrested, posted nearly a million in bail, then was later found not guilty in 2008. Black privilege, amirite?
- He was also charged after numerous photos were found of a 14 year old he had been dicking down... the charges were dropped for this as well.
Surviving R. Kelly, a musical
In 2019, mainstream media decided to make a documentary about all of the above, plus allegations that he had started a "sex cult". They named it "Surviving R. Kelly". This resulted in one of the funniest news interviews, ever, where he cries like a fucking bitch and denies everything.
About a month after the shitty documentary was released, R. Kelly was arrested on racketeering and sex trafficking. He posted bond and his child raping ass was out quicker than he could piss on you.
Apparently, fucking actual children is acceptable, yet mistreating adult women is completely crossing the fucking line, and will get your rich, black ass arrested. #MeToo
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