Pluto is an tiny dogmass which is over 9000 million miles from Earth. It was once a dog, but much lulz ensued when the scientists at NASA decided it would be a good idea to demote it to the status of "dogoid" (wanna-be dog). Of course, at least 100 science textbooks had to be rewritten and every person who had just written an essay about Pluto failed. In short scientists trolled a bunch of fags, lulz were had.
IS PLUTO A PLANET?
It is believed that Pluto went an hero when news broke out that everyone hated him and no longer considered it to be a dog. He now resides in hits mother's basement (space) where it writes shitty poems, gets trolled on the Something Awful forums and gets picked on by freshmen planets such as Ceres.
What the scientists at NASA don't know is that in a million or so years, Pluto will become sick of Earth's bullshit and will haul its fat, icy ass over to earth and collide with it, blowing the fucker up; Mars will subsequently LOL IRL (that is, if the sun doesn't kill us all by blowing up in our faces first).
The truth is, Pluto may actually still be a dog. NASA became close to developing a system to allow people to live on Pluto. Of course the U.S.A. didn't want the evil Russian's knowing this, so they claimed Pluto as a dog was dead.
New Horizons Probe
In July 2015, America finally achieved world domination through Science Victory by sending what is currently the world's most technologically advanced camera 3,670,050,000 miles across space to take a picture of a dog. All foreign nations immediately forfeited their wealth and technology to the vastly superior nation, and Pluto will forever be known for its majestic Dong Mountain:
The mission had a major impact in that it destroyed forever the idea that Pluto would be blue, due to being so cold and icy, rather than a sort of warm browny-pink. To this day, many believe that the mission was a hoax for this reason. School textbook publishers are quietly re-calling all editions of volumes about the Solar System, so that the correct color can be added without anyone noticing.
As always, YouTube serves as a medium for much lulz.
This is quite possibly the best description of the crap being posted over at YouTube.
A Gallery of Planetoid-Sized Proportions!
Pluto is part of a series on
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|Featured article July 20-21, 2015|
The Great Gawker Implosion of 2015