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Looks innocent enough...
If you see something, say something. Not this though, this is normal for DC

Are you schizophrenic? Would you like to be? Is Infowars or Alex Jones too mainstream for you? Do you think David Icke is a fucking amateur? Are you bored with creepypasta from /x/? Do you like reading walls of text with no discernible point? Has it been a while since you needed eye bleach? Do you watch Stanley Kubrick movies to count all the triangles? Read on! Pizzagate (Twitter-favicon.png #pizzagate) is either a paranoid fever dream from /pol/ conspiratards with over 9,000 threads about pizza seasoning packets, or a disturbing peek behind the curtain of the global pedo ring at the highest levels of government in every country, that everyone kind of suspects already but doesn't want to say out loud, lest they wake up to a suicide note on their chest and bullethole in the back of their head. Why not both? Much easier to just blame the Catholic Church for being chock full of pedos, and not secular governments too because muh fedora. Protip: Gaslighting is a process where you make people question their own sanity.

At a quick glance, Comet Ping Pong looks like an ordinary casual pizzeria located in America's cesspool of Washington, D.C.. However, that is merely a front, for as we learned from WikiLeaks, the place is a nest of child-trafficking, led by noted spirit-cooker John Podesta, the guy who told all those crying liberals under that glass ceiling to go home after Hillary lost. However, on November 21, 2016, The New York Times said "this pizzeria is not a child-trafficking site," so there. Comet Ping Pong is just a fun "all ages" venue, where the owner just happens to use #chickenlovers on social media, and where the bathrooms just happen to be covered in nude murals, and where reviewers just happen to make jokes about "children banging on the walls pleading for help", and Tony Podesta just happens to love going there, and Tony just happens to be friends with verified child-abuser and former politician Dennis Hastert, and Tony's brother John just happens to be a guy that former pizza delivery driver but currently dead Andrew Breitbart said covers up underage sex slavery. Brb, I see some black helicopters outside. IF I DIE IT WAS NOT A SUICIDE !!!!!!!1111

Protip: Some argue that Wikileaks has been compromised since not long after Pedosta emails were leaked around October 7, 2016. Some believe that Julian Assange is fucking dead, after Pamela Anderson gave Assange a vegan sandwich infected with seven different heirloom strains of Hepatitis C that date back to Tommy Lee's time in Motley Crue. Protip: Pamela Anderson attended the [1] ArchiveToday-favicon.png2011 MOCA Gala, An Artist's Life Manifesto, directed by Marina "Spirit Cooking" Abramovic where degenerate Hollywood liberals ate corpse cakes. Oh, and on October 20, 2016 all the mods on /r/wikileaks and /r/dncleaks on Le Reddit were replaced with Stepford Wives. Oh, and two days before the 2016 Presidential Election, Wikileaks was taken down by a huge DDOS. Happy Interwebbing!

FYI, Snopes has already debunked Pizzagate so don't even try looking into it fgt. NEVERMIND. Some guy with a gun tried to do just that. Some argue that Kim Lacapria, the lead "fact checker" at Snopes, is addicted to "pedo erotica." Does that include kids taped to ping pong tables inside a business owned by the 49th most powerful person in DC? Or maybe it refers to the "art" of Biljana Djurdjevic, who is one of Tony Podesta's top five artists?

Old media who needed to lurk moar defined Pizzagate as the conspiracy theory "that Clinton and her campaign chief were operating a child sex ring in the restaurant's back room." Pushing that Straw Man over let old media ignore the weird shit posted by jimmycomet and his pals on Instagram and the bizarre Podesta emails, as if Pizzagate was only about Comet Ping Pong. Case closed! Old media doesn't think Pizzagate is a scandal like Watergate, they think it is equivalent to Slenderman.

Orgy Island

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Remember how Hillary Clinton's senior thesis was about Saul Alinsky? Remember how Barack Obama taught Saul Alinsky's ideas about power analysis to students in Chicago? Remember how Saul Alinsky learned his shit from Al Capone's number two guy Frank Nitti? Protip: One of the most important Rules For Radicals that the Chicago Mob taught was Never Acknowledge Evidence. Another rule was Accuse The Other Side of Doing What You Do. Remember how in his 1971 book Rules for Radicals that Saul Alinsky described Lucifer as "the first radical known to man"? Remember how registered sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, owner of the "Lolita Express" private jet that Bill Clinton flew on twenty-six times, invited elites to his private island of Little St. James, and how his "Orgy Island" had videocameras to record everything, and how his island has a weird Moloch temple on it that looks like a mosque with a gold dome and an owl statue? No? Remember how Jeffrey Epstein's little black book had 21 different phone numbers for Bill Clinton and his assistants? Remember how Jeffrey Epstein sent Bill Clinton $3.5 million from a Swiss bank account? First time hearing of that? And Patton Oswalt said rich people are boring...

Basically, videotaping sick fucks allows for rule by blackmail. Think Skull and Bones, you know, the movie that got Paul Walker killed thirteen years later. Huh. Thirteen. That's weird...

Eating pizza backwards is like playing music backwards!!!1
I've known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy...He's a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it - Jeffrey enjoys his social life.


The Donald to New York Magazine

Nice guy. Uhhh. Gotta lotta problems coming up in my opinion. With the famous island. With Jeffrey Epstein. Lotta problems...


—The Donald responding to Sean Hannity asking about Bill Clinton, possibly at CPAC 2015 in February 2015 at the Gaylord National Hotel and Conference Center in Maryland

Rumor has it Epstein manages Rockefeller money, some argue David Rockefeller has been a client. Jeffrey Epstein reportedly quit his board seat at the Rockefeller Institute. Epstein is a member of the Council on Foreign Relations and Trilateral Commission. Sources say that Epstein either stole or was authorized to use a Dyncorp and State Department tail number, N474AW.

Fun Fact: Sources say that Virginia Roberts was first solicited by Ghislaine Maxwell, Epstein's procurer of underage girls, at Mar-a-Lago, a resort in Palm Beach, Florida owned by The Donald. Some argue Maxwell's father was Mossad, and Maxwell also attended the wedding of Chelsea Clinton, the daughter of Hillary Clinton and Ronald McDonald.

Sources say that Alexander Acosta who The Donald picked to be Labor Secretary, back when he worked in Florida cut a non-prosecution deal with Jeffrey Epstein years ago in a sexual abuse case involving 40 underage girls, rather than pursue a federal indictment that Acosta's staff wanted. Sources say Trump banned Epstein from Mar-a-Lago because Epstein sexually assaulted an underage girl at the club. Sources also say Trump is on the witness list in an Epstein case, where federal prosecutors are accused of deceiving Epstein's victims. Also, Raytheon Travel Air appears in Jeffrey Epstein's "Little Black Book", and Raytheon has been a client of the Podesta Group (Tony Podesta and John Podesta) in the past.

Clinton Body Count

Some argue that knowing Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton can be fatal.

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John Podesta

Until The Donald ruined their master plans, sources say Hilldawg was going to make Johnny "Handkerchief With A Pizza-Related Map On It" Podesta the next Secretary of State, because that office needed even moar email scandals.

How prog-guru John Podesta isn't household name as world class underage sex slave op cover-upperer defending unspeakable dregs escapes me.


—Andrew Breitbart on Twitter on February 4, 2011, about 13 months before Breitbart died

Some argue John Podesta was paid to lobby for Vladimir Plahotniuc, an alleged Moldovan sex trafficker, since the Podesta Group got $600,000 from the Democratic Party of Moldova, whose chief financial backer is Vladimir Plahotniuc, who has reportedly recruited girls for sex slavery. Did you hear how the Podesta Group lost The Google as a client?

Some say that Ulbrich Boser sent John Podesta a copy of his book, The Leap: The Science of Trust and Why It Matters. In the introduction to the book, Boser wrote how the act of cannibalism brought a group of people close together and became a sacred act. Was he talking about Reddit CEO spez? In June 2009, John Podesta told Politico "I am going to my condo in Truckee, like I do every year — will sit on my porch and do conference calls 50 feet from where the Donner Party ate each other."

DAE hear the alt-right are a bunch of motherfucking racists?

How did this start?

Last Thursday, Wikileaks dumped a bunch of emails by Hillary's campaign chairman and former counselor to Barack Obama and Bill Clinton's former chief of staff John Pedosta, either after some dumbfuck at the DNC told John Pedosta to respond to a phishing email by "resetting his Gmail password" (giving his password away to not The Google), or after Putin's own Fancy Bear hax0r group wrote said phishing email, or it was Anonymous or some shit. BTW, that's called "social engineering" according to hack-the-planet Unixbeards at DEFCON. Hey, has anyone seen Seth Rich lately?

Anyway, in a bunch of Pedosta emails, people were talking weirdly about pizza and hot dogs and walnuts and handkerchiefs. Homosexual pedophiles and /b/tards familiar with the term "cheese pizza" immediately realized what the emails really meant, and began unpacking their box of thumbtacks and string to put up on their conspiracy corkboard, like in that movie with Max Max and Jean Luc Picard, who is friends with twink sodomizer Bryan Singer. Do you think Frodo might be on to something? Is now a bad time to mention that Problem Child 3 star and Bitcoin Foundation Director Brock Pierce was accused of sexually abusing three young actors in 2000, and is supposedly a ringleader of Pedowood "after parties", and just happens to be a member of the Clinton Global Initiative? Have you heard that the Clinton Global Initiative just happens to be shutting down?

What is Pizzagate?

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TL;DR: Pizzagate refers to a crowdsourced investigation stemming from the Podesta emails leaked by Wikileaks, with a focus on brothers John Podesta and Anthony Podesta of the Podesta Group, and their connections to others such as the Clintons, James Alefantis, Marina Abramovic, etc. Many theories have been floated during the investigation, but the important thing to remember is that the old media says every theory has been debunked because they'd rather start a fucking war with Russia than talk about what's in the emails. Protip: Some argue the film Wag the Dog, about a politician trying to start a war to distract Amerilard from a sex scandal, was about Bill Clinton and Ms. Blue Dress herself.

Wikileaks leaked a bunch of John Podesta's emails on October 7, 2016 and at least 100 independent researchers decided to have a look. Julian Assange said Toxic Bath Lotion Ville was not a source of the emails, saying it was a leak and not a hack. An ex-British ambassador says the leaks were given to him in a park in DC by a middleman for a "disgusted" Democrat whistleblower. Assange has suggested Seth Rich was a source. Some argue that missing Clinton Foundation CEO Eric Braverman was a source. Democrats insist it was Putin himself behind the keyboard, as if the NSA doesn't have every email evar anyway. The former Jew and currently dead Seth Rich was a voter expansion data director at the Democratic National Committee who was murdered July 10, 2016 in DC. The master sleuths at the DCPD thought it could have been a robbery, even though Rich's wallet and watch and personal items were not taken. Wikileaks offered a $20,000 reward for information on the murder, which can buy a lot of onaholes. Some argue the assisting officer in the Seth Rich case was Robert Wingate Robinson, who was supposedly a football player at Georgetown when John Podesta was a teacher there. Huh. What a strange coincidence. Some argue a "crisis" PR agent was hired to shut down Seth Rich conspiracy theories. Protip: There is a reward of at least $150,000 for information regarding the murder of Seth Rich ($20,00 from Wikileaks, $25,000 from DC police, and $105,000 from Republican lobbyist Jack Burkman).

On August 22, 2016 the Ecuadorian Embassy where Assange was was broken into. In November 2016, Ecuador cut off Assange's Internets. Last Thursday, the FBI tried to frame Assange but Iceland stopped them. The CIA also tried to capture and eliminate Assange. Some argue the CIA is involved in global sex trafficking. Ridiculous! That's like believing the CIA is involved in drug trafficking! Is now a bad time to mention that Obama's parents Anne Dunham and Barack Obama Sr. are supposedly linked to the CIA? And did you ever hear the story about the C-123 loaded with cocaine landing in Mena, Arkansas where Bill Clinton was governor?

People began sharing online what they found, and it was disturbing to say the least. Especially after they found the Instagram account of longtime Podesta friend James Alefantis of Comet Ping Pong Pizza, or the artwork of Biljana Djurdjevic, one of Tony Podesta's top five artists whose artwork he has hung in his house. Several emails, like the one about a handkerchief with a pizza-related map on it, or the one about playing dominoes on cheese, or the one about Tamera Luzzatto's grandkids being "entertainment" in a pool, or the one about parents leaving their kids with the unrelated John Podesta for "Luzzattopalooza", added to speculation. And also Amanda "Majestic Ape" Kleinman who has joked about killing babies and about the manager of Comet Ping Pong liking children and little boys. Is Jimmy "#chickenlovers" Comet the manager? And something about some guy making child-sized coffins. Christina Cauterucci of Slate wrote "Comet Is D.C.’s Weirdo Pizza Place. Maybe That's Why It's a Target." Yes, Christina, you solved it.

It's hard to say when the term "pizzagate" emerged, but the crowdsourced investigation into the Podesta emails preceded it. Some argue it was faggots on Reddit who coined the term "pizzagate", or at least popularized the term. Maybe it was Twatter? Go check the arbiters of truth over at TOW, surely they know. And they will be completely neutral about it, like it was written by a robot and not some grown man who shits in diapers.

Is there a grand unified theory behind Pizzagate? At the very least, Pizzagate can be summed up with "hey, doesn't this shit seem weird to you?" However, the mainstream media insists (without attribution) that Pizzagate is a conspiracy theory that is the most extreme version of any genuine or fake theory based on the evidence discovered by the public. Like if people investigating the JFK assassination started the hashtag #JFKgate, and if old media said #JFKgate was the conspiracy theory that aliens shot JFK so they could steal his brain to see what Jackie O looked like naked. Look no further America! Snopes to the rescue! Another Straw Man busted! Protip: Some argue the CIA is behind Snopes. Once you've "debunked" the most hyperbolic theory related to the evidence, the evidence is irrelevant amirite? And once you've said the evidence came from Mr. KGB himself, the evidence is irrelevant amirite?

Does it need to be said that Hillary Clinton's holiday party at the end of 2016 was "like a wake with a band"?


According to /r/pizzagate, which supposedly had over 25,000 subscribers, and which Le Reddit banned as a "witch hunt" (ironic, since John Pedosta practices witchcraft Thelema), that now-censored subreddit was for "discussing and investigating the international human trafficking ring/child sex trafficking ring/pedo-ring that was uncovered by the leaked Podesta/DNC emails dumped by Wikileaks." Obviously, the censorship of the subreddit was seen as proof they were onto something. Oh, and people on /r/The_Donald accused Reddit CEO and /r/Cannibals moderator Steve "spez" Huffman of being a cannibal. Later on, spez announced a crackdown on /r/The_Donald, which probably involved banhammers or some shit.

Reddit CEO spez was caught editing comments by users, which now puts every comment on Reddit into question. Later on spez had Troll's Remorse and said he was sorry and wanted Le Reddit to trust him again. Angry investigators noted how /r/pizzagate was deleted after six weeks, but how loathsome subreddits were left up for six years.


In the current year, edit war was beginning...

See TOW's article on Comet Ping Pong and Pizzagate and their talk pages for moar drama. On that other pervert Jimmy's website, someone nominated the article on Pizzagate for deletion and Wikipedos and diaper-fillers and Wikilawyers threw around UNDUE and FRINGE, because dozens of media outlets around the world reporting on Pizzagate means it's not notable. The idea that government figures might use minors for sex is pretty much a fringe theory. Obviously, the matter will eventually end up at Internet court.


Center for American Progress

The Center for American Progress aka CAP was founded in hellhole DC in 2003, and the first president and CEO was John Podesta. In 2003, global supervillain George Soros gave the Center for American Progress Action Fund $3 million, which can buy a lot of pizza and hotdogs. Some argue Podesta was chairman of the board until December 2013 when he joined the Obama White House staff. Sources say it was John Podesta's assistant Elizabeth Cooley who operated John's email account and emailed Herb "Dominoes On Cheese" Sandler the day after Madeleine McCann vanished, who just happens to have the same eye disorder as George Soros.

Another major donor to CAP is Citigroup, who picked Obozo's "hope and change" cabinet in 2008 according to Wikileaks. Other major donors include billionaire Herb "Dominoes On Cheese" Sandler and Marion Sandler, who made $2.4 billion when Golden West Financial was sold for $24 billion to Wachovia Bank in 2006. Some argue the Sandlers brought down Wachovia Bank.

Herb Sandler is also the founding chairman of ProPublica, a "non-profit" in New York where executive chairman Paul Steiger was paid over half a million dollars in 2008 and where the editor-in-chief Stephen Engelberg was paid over $340,000. ProPublica supposedly does investigative journalism, and was given at least a-quarter-of-a-million dollars from George Soros's Open Society Foundation. Tell ProPublica to investigate Herb Sandler and ask what "playing dominoes on cheese" means today! And why there would need to be "strategies that have long been in place" for John to send billionaire Herb a gift basket of "food" items.

Tony Podesta

Biljana Djurdjevic fan Tony Podesta was named the third most influential lobbyist in DC in 2007. Clients of the Podesta Group have included NPR, Raytheon, Bank of America, and the Republic of Kenya where some argue Obongo was really born and that his birth certificate, from where Dave "Mr. Potato Head" Flintstone aka "Bif Skipman" has a vodka distillery, is fake.

Did you know that before Stanley Kubrick was kill, he subscribed to Fidelio magazine, which said that a shadowy cabal runs the world from Venice, Italy? Is now a bad time to mention that Tony Podesta has a vacation home in Venice? Is now a bad time to mention that Obozo's new home in DC is supposedly two doors down from Tony Podesta?

Some argue Tony Podesta has a connection with Hamad bin Abdullah Al-Thani's royal family, some Qatari prince convicted in the Czech Republic of being a sick fuck.

Some argue there was an article on the Washington Post where a reporter was disturbed by Tony Podesta's "art collection", but that the article was deleted. Oh, and Tony Podesta supposedly built a huge underground vault to films?...that were "difficult to display." And because Big Tony is such a normal guy, the staircase in his house has a giant portrait of a toddler in a diaper being poked in the kidney by an adult, by "artist" Anna Gaskell. Just like normal people do. It's all super normal at Tony's house. Nothing suspicious at all for a good friend of ol' Denny Hastert.

Jimmy Comet

On October 5, 2015, Marina "Spirit Cooking" Abramovic's good pal Tony Pedosta (John Pedosta's brother) wrote that he was doing a fundraiser at his house for Hillary with his brother John on October 6: "John and I are cooking along with guest chefs James Alefantis of Comet Ping Pong Pizza and Buck's Camping and Fishing, Amy Brandwein of Centrolina and Massimo Fabbri of Ristorante Posto." Supposedly, Tony Pedosta has his birthday party at Comet Ping Pong Pizza every year, which has creepy murals and hidden doors and "unsupervised children running around." E-detectives began digging into James Alefantis. A sick fuck Instagram account named jimmycomet posted some bizarre shit, like a photo of a little girl with her arms taped to a table. Many pizzagate truthers figured James Alefantis is jimmycomet, since the profile said "James Achilles Alefantis."

According to Instagram, the bathrooms at the "all ages" Comet Ping Pong feature a mural of a short alien playing ping pong vs some guy, with graffiti of him ejaculating and also wearing an upside-down cross. Did you know that Chelsea Clinton has been spotted wearing an upside-down cross? And did you hear about John Podesta being interested in UFOs and aliens? There is also writing on the wall that says "SHUT UP N' FUCK", with writing below it saying "AMEN (up arrow)." Speaking of graffiti, someone spraypainted "KIDS" on a wall outside another property supposedly owned by Jimmy Comet which has bars over the windows. some Pizzagate truthers argue that all of the properties owned by James Alefantis have tunnels underneath them.

Alefantis, who is reportedly board president of the contemporary art gallery Transformer and who has supposedly produced films featuring "secret pizza" and a documentary about Chris Crocker, was described by GQ as one of the "50 most powerful people in Washington DC." Wow, who knew ping pong was so lucrative outside China? Pizzagate truthers have noted the similarity between the name James Alefantis and the phrase "j'aime les enfants", French for "I love children." James Alefantis is also the former gay lover of David Brock, who is the CEO of Correct the Record who declared war on Fox News, and who may have hired private dicks to look into the private lives of Fox News anchors, hosts, reporters, contributors, and staff, otherwise known as go all Fair Game on their ass. David Brock has been described as "batshit crazy" by Neera Tanden, the president and CEO of CAP.

The 49th most powerful person in DC, Alefantis, has supposedly been to the White House at least five times: December 16, 2010; September 26, 2012; September 27, 2012; December 11, 2012; April 9, 2014. Some argue Jimmy was at the White House during a Google Hangout on human trafficking. Remember the time the Washington Post said that child protective services which was supposed to be homing children to good homes ended up homing children to sex traffickers?

Some argue that Susan Alefantis, the sister of James Alefantis, wrote a letter in support of Christopher Kloman, a former Potamac school teacher sentenced to 43 years in prison for multiple counts of child molestation.

Some argue that Comet Ping Pong has hired a "crisis management firm" full of Obongo insiders to fix the Pizzagate narrative. Did you know that Tony Podesta is known as a "fixer"? Have you heard that Jimmy Comet owns a pig farm? Some argue that pig farms can be used to make bodies disappear.

Some argue that Jimmy Comet is friends with sick fuck Michael Alig.

Media Matters for America

Media Matters for America is a tax-exempt nonprofit and progressive media "watchdog" founded in 2004 in DC by David Brock and backed by George Soros. John Pedosta, who was previously Bill Clinton's chief of staff, provided office space for Media Matters in its early days, and Hillary Clinton advised them in its early days. Media Matters "helped lay the groundwork" for Hillary's presidential campaign in 2016 according to the New York Times. Before David Brock was homo for Jimmy Comet, he was homo for William Grey for 10 years. After GreyBrock brokeup, Grey supposedly contacted Brock three times, trying to blackmail Brock for $850,000 or he would "embarrass him to his donors" and report him to the IRS. What exactly could William Grey have on David Brock or Jimmy Comet that would embarrass his donors? Hmm. Some argue Max Maccoby was a lawyer for Alefantis and Brock in the case.

Early on did John Podesta imagine his baby @mmfa would be covering up for underage sex slave ops and & H8 crimes against blacks?


—Andrew Breitbart on Twitter on February 2, 2011, possibly talking about the ACORN scandal where a guy with a hidden camera asked for advice on pimping underage girls. @mmfa is Media Matters for America

After gunshots woke up old media to Pizzagate, Media Matters got a new president and focused their attention away from Fox News to Breitbart, the alt-right, conspiracy theories and fake news like The Onion, The Daily Show, Weekend Update, and Norm Macdonald, a very notable fake news reporter in his day, spreading such fake news stories as Jacko was a homosexual pedophile, and OJ was a murderer.

Sources say David Brock wants moniez to make the Breitbart of the left, also known as Huffington Post. Protip: Huffington Post was created in part by the currently dead Andrew Breitbart, who was a researcher for his close friend Arianna Huffington.

Some argue that giving money to David Brock is "like pissing down a rat hole." Some say Democrats are done with David Brock and that nobody wants anything to do with him because he's fucking weird. While thousands of cunts were marching on D.C., David Brock was holding some retreat on Turnberry Isle Resort in Aventura, Florida, and Keith Olbermann was there for some reason. Sources say Correct The Record has been reformed under the Super PAC American Bridge and that David Brock wants to impeach The Donald. Brock also plans to make a paid Twitter rival only for liberals.

Rachel Chandler

Remember the [2] ArchiveToday-favicon.png2011 MOCA Gala, An Artist's Life Manifesto, directed by Marina "Spirit Cooking" Abramovic, where people ate corpse cakes, and that Pamela "Vegan Sandwich For Assange" Anderson attended? Some argue that Rachel Chandler was also there. In 2006, a photo of Rachel Chandler and Bill Clinton on a private jet was published on the currently dead Gawker. Nothing to see here folks. Some argue that private jet belonged to Ron Burkle. Rachel Chandler is reportedly a descendant of the family that owned the Los Angeles Times for decades, and was good friends with Paris Hilton and Nicky Hilton, who just happened to marry James Rothschild. Sources say that the Burkles and Chandlers were both vying to buy Tribune Media Company that owned the LA Times. It's been said that Ron Burkle has invested in Cerberus Capital Management, the owners of Dyncorp.

Sources say Rachel Chandler is also the photographer for Terence Koh, who collaborates with Marina Abramovic. In 2010, Rachel Chandler was a photographer at Marina "Spirit Cooking" Abramovic's "The Artist is Present" performance at the MOMA. In 2011, at some MOMA Gala after party, attendees supposedly included Marina "Spirit Cooking" Abramovic, Terence Koh, Rachel Chandler, David Rockefeller Jr., "Blowjobs For Hillary" Madonna, a bunch of celebrity degenerates, some guy from that Hitler car company that cheated on emissions or some shit, and Chloe "Blowjob For Vincent Gallo" Sevigny who became a star after appearing in a movie called "Kids."

Protip: MOCA means Museum of Contemporary Art Los Angeles, MOMA means Museum of Modern Art in Midtown Manhattan in New York City, and in-between the two are the flyover states filled with the millions of Russians who voted Russian spy The Donald into office to replace Kenyan Muslim Barry "O'Bomber" Soetoro.

Pegasus Museum

Jimmy's Instagram post which inspired the search for the kill room

Spurred on by Instagram photos of a supposed walk-in freezer posted by Jimmy "#chickenlovers" Comet, where someone said "#killroom" and Jimmy Comet said "#murder" and nilaylawson said "just rinse it off when you're done", weaponized autists set out to determine where exactly this "kill room" was built, since health inspectors reportedly say there is no such freezer at Comet Ping Pong. Supposedly someone asked Jimmy online about his "#murder" comment and Jimmy said it was just a joke. Just like a real murderer would say.

Based on looking at bricks and holes in the ground, some Pizzagate researchers believe the "kill room" is located at another property owned by James Alefantis, known as Pegasus Museum, that is located over tunnels and that locals don't seems to be aware is a "museum." This is supposedly near where the "KIDS" graffiti is located. Some argue Pegasus Museum was formerly a music venue known as Paper Sun.

Some argue that Seth Rich was killed just blocks away from Pegasus Museum. Some argue that Pegasus Museum is five minutes away from the Latin American Youth Center which reportedly has ties to the Clinton Global Initiative, which just happens to be shutting down for some reason.

One Pizzagate truther reportedly made a video saying the kill room was found at Pegasus Museum, and James Alefantis reportedly sent him death threats, death threats which some argue the FBI is investigating. The guy supposedly stopped selling #PIZZAGATE shirts and is supposedly "retired" from investigating Pizzagate.

There was also some guy in Louisiana who got in trouble for threatening some DC pizzeria, I can't imagine which one it could be.

Weird shit

The manager of Besta Pizza is a rapist?

According to pizzagate theorists, Comet Ping Pong Pizza in DC is located near one of the points of an upside-down Star of Baphomet. Nearby, Besta Pizza aka Uptown Pizza is supposedly owned by Andrew Kline. Some pizzagate truthers think that is the same Andrew Kline who was in the Human Trafficking Prosecution Unit of the Department of Justice, appointed by Lolita Express-frequent-flier Bill Clinton. Pizzagate theorists say Besta Pizza's logo contained some kind of triangle-swirling-in symbol which the FBI supposedly says refers to "boy lover", and Besta Pizza supposedly changed their logo soon after.

And something about a photo of Barack Obama playing ping pong with some kid or something, posted on jimmycomet's Instagram.

The $65,000 Pyramid

In 2009, the God-Emperor of Blackkind supposedly ordered $65,000 of pizza and hot dogs from Chicago to the White House for a party. This set off alarm bells for Pizzagate truthers, who said NO OUTSIDE FOOD OR DRINK ALLOWED and that people at the White House are only allowed to eat shit that White House chefs prepare.

In some weird coincidence, a White House chef was found dead in New Mexico after drowning.


On May 14, 2009, there was some email from the Stratfor Wikileaks, with the subject RE: Get ready for "Chicago Hot Dog Friday", and someone, maybe Aaric S. Eisenstein, said "If we get the same 'waitressess,' I'm all for it!!!" Earlier, Fred Burton of Stratfor on May 14 wrote "I think Obama spent about $65,000 of the tax-payers money flying in pizza/dogs from Chicago for a private party at the White House not long ago, assume we are using the same channels?"

Thinly sliced pizza

Some argue the word "pizza" in emails is a code word for something else.

In February 2012, Wikileaks released emails from Stratfor, an intelligence company in Texas. Some argue the company fronts as an intelligence publisher but actually gives confidential intel to big corporations. In the Stratfor Wikileaks, someone said "Who all is in the Austin office today who is going to want pizza? We only have one slice and we need to know how thinly to slice it."

Oh, so an office of co-workers are going to all share one slice of pizza and they're wondering how thinly to slice the one slice of pizza that an entire office will share, like Jesus and the bread written by Jews. Some argue this means cocaine.

As you can see, some douchebags using "pizza" as a codeword in Texas, possibly for drugs, must mean that every time "pizza" is said in the Podesta emails, it must mean drugs. Because reasons. However, the Stratfor Wikileaks were also the source of the "waitresses" phrase, and some guy talking about Obozo spending $65,000 on pizza and hot dogs from Chicago.

Does Comet Ping Pong have a basement?

In 2015, Alefantis told Metro Weekly that they harvest 10 tons of tomatoes every year, "can them all, store them in the basement." In 2016, Alefantis told BBC that Pizzagate theorists "ignore basic truths", saying "We don't even have a basement." Huh. Inquisitr asked if BBC caught Alefantis in a lie. Pizzagate truthers have also posted photos of digging, reportedly at Comet Ping Pong. Pizzagate theorists have said the building where Comet Ping Pong is located was built a year before Prohibition ended when smuggling booze was commonplace, and that construction records said it was built with 2 stories. Hmm. Disregard that. Supposedly Jimmy's other restaurant Buck's Camping and Fishing has the basement.

Besides Comet Ping Pong, James Alefantis also owns a restaurant founded in 2003 as "Greenwood." Some time later, the name was changed to Buck's Camping and Fishing. This alarmed Pizzagate investigators, since supposedly a "buck" is a slang term for an old male pedo and "taking the kids camping and fishing" is also supposedly pedo slang, probably something like a Canteen Boy sketch on Saturday Night Live, which starred the man currently parodying The Donald, and an unfunny guy who shares the last name of Herb "Dominoes on Cheese" Sandler. Pizzagate truthers have also noted a photo of a cake at Buck's Camping and Fishing, which has a red napkin which some argue resembles boys' underwear.

Protected area of

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Sources say that e-detectives discovered a hidden area of, listing several files that each needed a key to be downloaded. Later on the hidden area vanished. It is a mystery.


On September 2, 2015, realtor Kathryn Tate found a handkerchief in some Field House or some shit and emailed Susan Sandler and Herbert Sandler about it. She described it as "a square cloth handkerchief (white b/ black)." Susan emailed John Pedosta and said "I think it has a map that seems pizza-related", asking if it was John's. Two days later, John replied "It's mine, but not worth worrying about." Hmm, he had a black and white handkerchief with a pizza-related map on it. This is like National Treasure all over again!

Pop Quiz: When Kathryn Tate asked Susan Sandler about "a square cloth handkerchief (white b/ black)", how exactly did Susan Sandler go from that phrase to asking John Podesta about "a handkerchief (I think it has a map that seems pizza-related)"?


What could "playing dominoes on cheese" mean?

On Christmas Eve, December 24, 2015, Herbert Sandler emailed John Pedosta and Mary and asked "Do you think I'll do better playing dominoes on cheese than on pasta?" Huh. Because it's totally normal to lay out a bunch of spaghetti and then play a game of dominoes on top. Or that ol' tradition of playing a game of dominoes on top of a cheese wheel or slices of cheese. Or maybe he just meant eating cheese or pasta, because it's perfectly normal to tell people "I am so on cheese right now" or "I think the pasta I ate just kicked in." These are common expressions. "Are you on cheese?" "Would you tell me if you were on pasta right now?" Nothing to worry about.


On June 2, 2015, John Podesta wrote "This traffic is really warm and really weird in light of Hastert. Boy that's sad." Have you ever said that traffic is really warm? His brother Tony replied "I'm still in shock. When are you next going to japan?" Supposedly, in 1965 Tony Podesta and Dennis Hastert were both in Camp Nose, Osaka Japan together. Pizzagate truthers believe "traffic" here refers to someone who is a victim of Human Trafficking.

BTW, Dennis Hastert was the Speaker of the House in Amerifat from 1999 to 2007 under Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, and according to TOW, "an admitted serial child molester" who admitted "he had sexually abused boys." TOW says "In 2016, Hastert admitted that he had molested boys, but he could not be criminally charged for these acts due to the statute of limitations expiring."

I went to college with Denny Hastert. We're still friends. I knew him when he was Speaker. His personality has not changed at all from 1965 to 2013. He's a decent, wonderful guy. People like and respect him.


—Tony Podesta giving his opinion of child abuser Dennis Hastert, in Chicago magazine

The Jake Siewert email

On May 28, 2015, Richard L. "Jake" Siewert Jr. of Goldman Sachs emailed John Podesta and said "Might be time for Denny to vanish to an undisclosed Japanese island." Siewert was the White House Press Secretary under President Bill Clinton, and served in the Treasury department under President Obama. "Denny" is the nickname of verified child abuser and former Speaker of the House and Tony Podesta's long-time friend Dennis Hastert. Supposedly, in 1965 Tony Podesta and Dennis Hastert were both in Camp Nose, Osaka Japan together. Thanks for the warning Jake, but Hastert entered prison in Minnesota in June 2016.

Still in the torture chamber

Some argue Tony Podesta sent an email to his brother John with the title "Last night was fun" and the body of the email (get it? body?) was "still in the torture chamber." This was later debunked when that Turkish Ambassador to Russia was assassinated, not by Sam Hyde, but by that one guy who was doing that thing in retaliation for the Russians Hacking The Election that everyone promised. Later they said closing a fucking place in Maryland was the retaliation, as if an ambassador wasn't already killed, and as if a fucking plane with a Russian military band wasn't fucking kill already.

First Trump said let's get on with our lives, but after he finally heard another intelligence briefing he said hey maybe we should tamp this down.

Pizza for an hour

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In January 2014, John Podesta supposedly wrote an email to his brother Tony Podesta with the subject "You two free for dinner on 12 or 13 January?" On January 6, 2014, Tony Podesta wrote to his brother John Podesta, saying "Mary not free. Would love to get a pizza for an hour? Or come over". John Podesta wrote back from an iPad, "That might work. Somalia? Geez."

Some Pizzagate truthers were alarmed the Podesta brothers were going to have "pizza" for an hour. And John Podesta brings up Somalia out of nowhere for some reason. Maybe the pizza was going to have Somali toppings like flies or something, since Somalia is world-renowned for their pizza?

Pizza.jpg from Doug Band contained a hidden file

On August 8, 2009 Doug Band emailed John Podesta and Huma Abedin and others, saying "As John said, it doesn't get any better than this" and attached a file named pizza.jpg. Huma Abedin was married to pervert Anthony Weiner at some point, and a laptop containing emails was seized not long before the 2016 Presidential Election. Sources say that some advisers to Hilldawg blame Huma Abedin for her loss. Doug Band is president of Teneo and used to be Bill Clinton's personal assistant, and helped create the Clinton Global Initiative, and worked for the Clinton Foundation. Remember how Jeffrey Epstein's little black book contained no less than 20 different phone numbers for Bill Clinton and his assistants? Also note that Epstein claimed he cofounded the Clinton Foundation. The Week said Band could "haunt" the Hildebeast and the New York Post said Hilldawg needed to ditch Band.

Anyway, pizza.jpg was a photo of Current TV reporters Laura Ling and Euna Lee eating pizza with a girl. Protip: Current TV was co-founded by Al Gore. Lee and Ling were detained in Best Korea while investigating Human Trafficking in March 2009 and sentenced to twelve years hard labor. On August 4, 2009 Bill Clinton made a surprise trip to Pyongyang, Best Korea. Ling and Lee were pardoned by His Glorious Leader Kim Jong-il on August 5, 2009 and landed in Burbank that day.

After Wikileaks leaked Pedosta content someone tried uploading pizza.jpg to 4chins, but they couldn't because long ago Joot, who now works for The Google which is Not Evil U Guise, added code to ban pictures containing embedded files. A file named pizza.jpg containing a hidden file set off alarm bells for 4chan mods who do it for free, since moot banned such files so Pentagon employees would stop uploading CP to The Internet Hate Machine.


TOW says that Moloch is "the Biblical name relating to a Canaanite god associated with child sacrifice."

In August 2009, someone (maybe Cheryl Mills who was Secretary of State Hillary's Chief of Staff) wrote "With fingers crossed, the old rabbit's foot out of the box in the attic, I will be sacrificing a chicken in the backyard to Moloch..." Jokes about sacrificing things to Moloch are really funny, considering that Hilldawg has reportedly been to Orgy Island six times.

Oh, and Jimmy Comet also gets gifts and notes written on Moloch letterhead for some fucking reason. However, "Moloch Maschine" could just be a reference to the 1927 Fritz Lang film Metropolis, or a book by Stuart Chase who advised FDR, or some shitty band. On the topic of shitty bands: Sex Stains, whose lead singer Mecca Vazie Andrews has worked with Marina "Spirit Cooking" Abramovic, has supposedly performed at the "all ages" Comet Ping Pong, and the band has some video with that blue triangle-swirling-in symbol in it that the FBI says is a symbol used by "boy lovers."

Jimmycomet moloch letterhead.jpg


On February 9, 2016, John Podesta emailed gay lobbyist Steve Elmendorf and wrote "Didn't think wet works meant pool parties at the Vineyard." Protip: Wetwork or wetworks is slang for assassination. Elmendorf wrote "I am all in. Sounds like it will be a bad nite , we all need to buckle up and double down." What was all that about? Anyway, Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died on February 12 or 13 at Cibolo Creek Ranch, which reportedly has a pool and a vineyard. US marshals usually provided security for Scalia, but he declined them for the trip. Ranch owner John Poindexter said "We discovered the judge in bed, a pillow over his head." The Donald said "It's a horrible topic but they say they found the pillow on his face, which is a pretty unusual place to find a pillow." Later Poindexter said the pillow was "above" his head, "not over his face." The Washington Post said Scalia's breathing machine was found unplugged. Huh. County judge Cinderela Guevara determined over the phone that Scalia died of natural causes after law enforcement told her "there were no signs of foul play." No autopsy was performed. On February 13, 2016 Chris Stone of Open Society Foundations which was founded by George Soros wrote "Remember our discussion of Wallace Jefferson, Chief Justice in Texas?" and John Podesta wrote "Yup." They seemed so broken up about it...

In February 2016, the CIA's own Washington Post wrote that Justice Scalia spent his last hours on this godforsaken rock with members of a secret society known as the International Order of St. Hubertus, whose US branch was founded in 1966 at the Bohemian Club in San Fagcisco, which is linked to the all-male Bohemian Grove. Is now a bad time to mention that in leaked emails, Colin Powell said that Bohemian Grove attendees would not be voting for The Donald? Did you know that Richard Nixon called the Bohemian Grove "the most faggy goddamned thing you could ever imagine"?

Some argue the ranch Scalia was staying at when he died is also known as "Rent Boy Ranch" or maybe Onion Creek Ranch, or that they hunt children for sport there.

Some argue that John Podesta got an email from a guy with the initials J. P. about a film idea set at the location where Scalia died, and something about $1.5 million upfront, and $15 million later. However, for people who have ever seen a map of Texas before, the arrows point to different places. But John Podesta is not a film producer. That we know of.

Sources say that a Peace Corp volunteer named Melaney Parker who worked with kids in Haiti was "suicided" in the same town where Justice Scalia died. Huh.

Frank Giustra

Sources say Frank Giustra is a major donor to the Clinton Foundation and is on the board of directors. Giustra owns the Radcliffe Foundation which owns the refugee center Elpida Home. Some Pizzagate truthers argue that the logo of Elpida is almost identical to the blue triangle "boylover" symbol released by the FBI.

Some Pizzagate researchers argue there is a company with nearly the same board of directors as the Clinton Foundation known as J&T Packing Company Inc, which has operated since 1994 from an empty lot. Protip: Note that the letters J and T are also the first letters in the names of the Podesta Group founders John and Tony Podesta. Directors of J&T reportedly include Frank Giustra, Bill Clinton, Chelsea Clinton, Cheryl Mills, Cheryl Saban, Lisa Jackson which may be Lisa P. Jackson aka "Richard Windsor" who has supposedly been in contact with the music booker at Comet Ping Pong, and others. The CFO of J&T is Andrew Kessel, who has also been the CFO of the Clinton Foundation since 2004. President is Donna Shalala, the president of the Clinton Foundation, and Secretary of Health and Human Services under Bubba. In September 2015, Shalala had a stroke after a Clinton Global Initiative event in New York, because she was jealous of Hillary's strokes.

Some Pizzagate truthers say that Frank Giustra's company in America's Hat bought Uranium One, a company in South Africa that used bribes and Clinton influence to buy mining interests in Borat Ville, and then sold Uranium One to Vodka Town, and supposedly the Podesta brothers got paid. And something about John Podesta and 75,000 common shares and Leonidio LLC.

Sources say that Mukhtar Dzhakishev was charged by the Republic of Kazakhstan for fraud, misappropriation of property, accepting bribes, and abuse of power. Dzhakishev reportedly worked with some Clinton to pass mining interests to Russia. Some argue the Panama Papers show the Kremlin connection to the Clintons.

Did you hear how Hilldawgs's brother ended up on the board of VCS Mining, a gold mining company in Haiti, and how that company got one of two permits in December 2012 to mine for gold there, the first one issued in fifty years?

Some Pizzagate truthers argue that Frank Giustra and the Clintons and Carlos Slim created a peanut supply chain organization in Haiti that doesn't exist. Now why would they do that?

Hot dog stand in Hawaii

In some email Todd Stern said something about Johnny Pedosta's hotdog stand in Hawaii.

According to urbandictionary, "hotdog" is a slang term for a Haitian.


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According to some book, when Hilldawg visited Haiti, she met a voodoo priest named Max Beauvoir, who had studied at the Sorbonne and City College of New York. And Hilldawg attended a ceremony where Haitans walked on hot coals, bit the heads off live chickens, chewed glass, and spat out shards and "not bleed."

Remember how the Clintons fucked over all those kids in Haiti? Well, Pizzagate truthers take that literally, alleging that there are underground tunnels between Comet Ping Pong Pizza and some nearby Beyond Borders Haiti refugee place or some shit. And something about Laura Silsby, acquaintance of Hillary, and founder of the "New Life Children's Refuge" group who was arrested on child trafficking charges for kidnapping 33 children from Haiti in 2010, who was found guilty. After Silsby's group was arrested, Jorge Puello acted as legal adviser, and was also under investigation for sex trafficking in El Salvador. In February 2010, Cheryl Mills emailed Hillary Clinton and mentioned Laura Silsby.

Some argue that James Alefantis and Laura Silsby both visited the White House on the same day in September 2012, and Alefantis a day after Silsby in December 2010. Some argue there is a link between James Alefantis and convicted child trafficker Laura Silsby. Some argue Silsby was given children in Haiti from the charity Friends of the Orphans, Max Maccoby is a director of Friends of the Orphans, Max Maccoby represented James Alefantis and David Brock in the $850,000 blackmail case, and James Alefantis is friends with Michael Maccoby, the father of Max Maccoby.

Some argue there are also pedo symbols surrounding Max Maccoby's law firm Butzel Long. Some argue Michael Maccoby is the head of the Maccoby Group, and the father of Max Maccoby and Nora Maccoby and also Izette Folger, who is also on the board of Transformer DC with James Alefantis. Some argue that James Alefantis and Nora Maccoby and Izette Folger were pictured together in 2011. Some argue that Nora Maccoby had artwork up for auction at the 2012 Transformer auction and the 2013 one. Protip: Nora Maccoby said that 80% of the neighborhood around Comet Ping Pong are CIA operatives. Some argue that Max Maccoby visited the White House on July 29, 2015 for 14 hours on a tour of the East Wing with Michael Martin Maccoby and some chick Ida Maccoby. Some argue that President Obongo had one appointment on his public schedule on that day, meeting with House Democrats in the East Room.

Some argue Michael Maccoby also coaches leaders at Nuestros Pequenos Hermanos aka NPH, homes for orphaned and abandoned children, which has an orphanage in Haiti. Some argue there at least 100 orphanages in Haiti, even 760. Some argue that wanted child trafficker Jorge Puello pretended to be a lawyer to defend child trafficker Laura Silsby. Some argue Puello is wanted in at least four countries on charges of sex trafficking women and girls and making counterfeit documents. Since there are 760 orphanages in Haiti, what are the odds that Jorge Puello knows a lot about Friends of the Orphans? In an interview on Fox News in February 2010, Greta Van Susteren asked "Where did they [Silsby] find these 33 children? How did they get these children?" Puello said "There was an orphanage that collapsed in Haiti. It was called Friends of the Orphans of Haiti. And there was somebody over there that told them that the orphans had no place, no room to place them." Some argue that Silsby lied about the children coming from a collapsed orphanage, and that the children were handed over by distant family members. However, Silsby was still charged and convicted of child trafficking. Some argue that Silsby now has ties to the Amber Alert system in Amerifat, which screeches in people's ears whenever a child in Amerifat goes missing, like when divorced parents have visitation too long. And is now a bad time to mention that Greta Van Susteren has also left Fox News to join MSNBC, just like Megyn "Softballs To Jimmy Chickenlovers Comet" Kelly?

In America's Penis, Angels of Love Deals From Heaven is some thing in North Miami Beach, reportedly dealing with children from AIDSVille. Angels of Love reportedly follows Pizza Packet on Twatter. Some argue there is a Pedosta email with a Hilldawg pizza logo designed by Jimmy A that says donate to That could have been the one that also said Do Not Forward. Some argue Pizzapac is registered to "J Z Drizin." And Pizza Packet only sells seasoning packets for pizza. Some argue an address on their website goes to a post office thirty minutes from a mansion in Florida owned by Jeffrey Epstein. Pizza Packet is supposedly owned by Richard "Itchie" Gross. Some argue his LinkedIn profile pic has a picture of a jet, with similar colors to Epstein's 727.


Podesta brothers vs mccann suspects.jpg

Did you ever notice how the Pedosta brothers look just like the guys suspected in the abduction of Madeleine McCann in Portugal on May 3, 2007? Nothing to see here folks, move along. Fun Fact: That suspect photo on TOW was uploaded by SlimVirgin, who some argue was MI-5 or MI-6. Some pizzagate truthers believe the Podesta brothers were staying with Clement "Clem" Freud in Portugal the day McCann vanished.

Only seven years later, on July 2, 2014 Mae Pedosta emailed John Pedosta and said she'd be "to Portugal on Friday", meaning July 4. I think what this means is clear.

Did you know that George Soros and Madeleine McCann both have a rare eye condition that affects 1 in 10,000 people known as coloboma where the pupil looks like it's bleeding black into the iris? Some Pizzagate truthers believe McCann is actually the daughter of Soros.

Protip: Some argue that John Podesta's Center for American Progress assistant Elizabeth Cooley emailed Herb Sandler on May 4, 2007, near some day McCann vanished. On June 4, 2007, Tony Podesta was supposedly in Lausanne, Switzerland and emailed Customer Service of Stratfor and said the "subscription renewal notice has just come to my attention." On September 21, 2007, Tony Podesta was supposedly in Lausanne, Switzerland and emailed John Gibbons of Stratfor, who some argue all belong to NAMBLA, and said he was confused that "my access to Stratfor Intelligence has expired."

Rumor has it McCann may have been stolen from Praia da Luz by part of a trafficking ring, which supposedly operate in Portugal due to ease of border transportation. In the north of Portugal, a trafficking ring abducting young girls was busted in Algarve and Aveiro. Some argue McCann was abducted not far from some pedo bar in France not far from sick fuck Clement Freud's residence. Some argue Scotland Yard got money to pursue a new lead in the McCann investigation, but that story was removed from Fox News. Some argue Scotland Yard knows who took McCann but that their hands are tied. Some argue Scotland Yard has been covering up for sick fucks in the UK for decades.

Rape magnet

In 2008, some guy named Frank Winstead who was a neighborhood commissioner or some shit said if Comet Ping Pong had tables outside, it would be a magnet for rape and murder, even more than usual. Remember that video outside Comet Ping Pong that supposedly features children screaming? I bet that was fake. Remember the review on Facebook that joked about children banging on the walls pleading for help. I bet that was fake too.

Which brings us to Devin Blevins. He contacted Winstead, and shortly after in some weird coincidence, Blevins was dead.

"Entertainment" at Comet Ping Pong

The "all ages" Comet Ping Pong features bands like Sex Stains and Heavy Breathing. The family-friendly restaurant also features bearded drag queens covered in blood.

Joshua Ryan Vogelsong is a tranny or a bartender or a faggot or all of the above and is notable for taking orders like "poo poo pee pee" and for telling people to "cum visit" the "all ages" Comet Ping Pong.

Shots fired

On December 4, 2016 at around 3PM, an Alex Jones fan from North Carolina who had an assault rifle but not a Bill Clinton RAPE shirt, drove to DC to investigate Comet Ping Pong himself, since the old media doesn't seem to care about potential child sex abuse. Alex Jones has said he needs to be covering Pizzagate even more. The gunman reportedly went straight for the back room and reportedly fired his gun into the air or some shit just happened to shoot the computer of James Alefantis behind a door. However, some lady of the metro police named Aquita Brown reportedly said no shots were fired. However, some guy, maybe the Saudis who reportedly own the block, said some things. Faiz Siddiqui and Susan Svrluga of the CIA's own The Washington Post said the gunman discharged a rifle. The gunman wasn't the first to visit Comet Ping Pong however, as other people have tried going there before to record videos. The shooting where nothing was harmed but Jimmy Comet's computer led Pizzagate to blow up more IRL.

Pizzagate truthers were highly suspicious, saying that a nearby traffic camera was disabled before the shooting, noting that the gunman was an actor with IMDB credits with a recent criminal record, and saying that stories about the shooting were published before it even happened. They also said the shooter had lived in Haiti, and his father had worked for an organization to prevent the abduction of children. Now where have I heard about people abducting children from Haiti before? Seems familiar... Channers had also predicted there would be a false flag before the shooting happened. Look everybody, Jimmy "#chickenlovers" Comet is a victim now!

Remember the time in January 2016 that The Washington Post wrote that DC has a serious sex-trafficking problem? Remember the time that DC police department employee Linwood Barnhill resigned after he was arrested in December 2013 for pimping two minors and was sentenced to seven years in jail? Wow, someone who worked for the DC police department was also a pimping children. That's weird. Nothing gets by those gumshoes! When the DC police department says #pizzagate is a "fictitious conspiracy theory", now there's a reliable source when it comes to sex trafficking! Remember the time The Washington Post said "Let's help the president and the prosecutors: Human trafficking is in our region, in the nation's capital, in your ward, on your block. Open your eyes. Don't look abroad. Look down the street." Well disregard that. Case closed. Carry on! Some argue the DC police chief was raped and impregnated when she was 14, and married her rapist at 15.

Some guy supposedly filed a Freedom of Information Act with the DCPD, and they admitted they had not investigated shit.

Days after gunshots brought worldwide attention to Comet Ping Pong, The Donald flew to North Carolina to thank the state that produced the shooter.


Obviously, the old media looked more into the shooter than any actual claims about Pizzagate. #Pizzagate also increased on Twatter. The DC Police Department, who seemed to be unaware of call boys taking a midnight tour of the White House in 1988 with Craig Spence who may have been involved in some possible CIA sexual blackmail operation, and who seemed unaware of the Lawrence E. King child prostitution scandal, and who seemed unaware of Jeff Gannon, and who did nothing about Dennis Hastert for years, solved the case in record time and immediately called Pizzagate a "fictitious online conspiracy theory." Protip: Media Matters has written stories about male prostitute Jeff Gannon. And in 1989 the Washington Times said a school was used as a base for a sex ring run by a congressman. So the idea that a pizza place could be involved in a DC sex ring is crazy. Comet Ping Pong isn't a school wtf. Protip: Spence was supposedly founded "suicided" in a hotel room.

BTW, Gary Caradori was an independent researcher hired to investigate the Franklin child prostitution ring where witnesses "described being flown around the country as underage prostitutes and attending grotesquely sadistic paedophiliac orgies." GQ magazine, the same magazine that called James Alefantis one of the fifty most powerful people in DC, called Gary Caradori a "delusional investigator." Caradori supposedly died mysteriously while investigating the Franklin Scandal which involved Lawrence E. King, and a homosexual prostitution ring whose clients supposedly included "key officials of the Reagan and Bush administrations, military officers, congressional aides and U.S. and foreign businessmen with close ties to Washington's political elite" according to The Washington Times. Some argue the FBI set Caradori up the bomb.

The lone gunman did manage to get old media to discuss Pizzagate, with multiple outlets who had said Trump would surely lose like CNN and NBC and MSNBC and NYTimes dismissing it as a conspiracy theory and "fake news." The BBC called it a "bizarre fake US election story", and CBS News called it a "fake online news report." There was also coverage by The Washington Post, Daily Beast, and The New Yorker. The Daily Caller said "Leave Comet Ping Pong Alone", much like Chris "Leave Britney Alone" Crocker who James Alefantis has produced a documentary on. How fitting. Vox wrote a story saying "How Pizzagate went from the musings of 4chan trolls to the cause for a gunman at Comet Ping Pong." Yes, because 4chan trolls wrote all those Podesta emails that Wikileaks released. Doesn't everyone have a handkerchief with a pizza-related map on it? Pizzagate truthers suggest the artwork of supposed Satanic Ritual Abuse survivor Kim Noble may explain what exactly a handkerchief with a pizza-related map on it is. Some argue it's like a hanky covered in rape blood kept as a Satanic memento.

On Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN, a panel with David Chalian, David Gregory, Matt Lewis, and Monica Langley discussed the shooting, saying it was based on "fake news", and the discussion quickly devolved into a Spiderman thread where they all laughed. The unbiased Monica Langley said Comet Ping Pong has some of the best pizza in DC, and she "can see why they put in Podesta." Huh. The shooting was the lead story on The Last Word with Lawrence O'Donnell, saying "fake news is now on the verge of getting someone killed." It was just like after Omar Mateen slaughtered all those homos at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, and the old media said the Quran was on the verge of getting someone killed.

Obviously, the shooting was blamed on Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, tapped to be God-Emperor Trump's national security adviser, since Flynn had tweeted a story only a month before the shooting on November 2 about Hillary emails and sex crimes with children. Flynn's son @mflynnJR was also blamed for the shooting, and CNN's Jake Tapper supposedly got into some DM war with Michael Flynn's son, who Trump fired from the transition team. Some argue Jake Tapper's wife loves Comet Ping Pong. In October 2016, Chris Cuomo on CNN said it's illegal to view emails released by Wikileaks. Nothing to see here folks! That fag Milo also rode on some coattails and supposedly gave a speech about Pizzagate and Democrats and pedophilia NOT YET. Pizzagate truthers also noted how Salon and the New York Times and Washington Post and BBC "have all published stories trying to normalize pedophilia." And that New York Times CEO Mark Thompson covered up for pedos when he was at the BBC.

Mark Thompson


James Alefantis himself was interviewed after the shooting, and the media put up the photo of the little girl with her arms taped to the table. Just kidding. Actually, the media put up the photo of jimmycomet using #murder. In fact, the media asked James Alefantis if jimmycomet was his Instagram account and he said it wasn't. Really though, the media asked James Alefantis why he had a statue of Antinous, linked with pederasty, as his profile picture on Instagram. But really though, Jimmy Comet said "promoting false and reckless conspiracy theories do come with consequences." Naturally, the old media didn't ask Jimmy Comet about his Instagram account, or the "entertainment" that has been at Comet Ping Pong, or address any claim made by Pizzagate theorists. Obviously, the old media pretended like Wikileaks doesn't exist, when before the election it was all about Putin trying to steal the election.

As anyone can see, these myths about the Podesta brothers and John Podesta's "hot dog stand" in Hawaii and the brothers' relationship with child abuser Dennis Hastert have clearly been busted. Pizzagate is over now. You don't have to go home but you can't stay here.

ZOMG 1337 H4X

Hillary Russian Hackers.jpg

Did you ever hear the story about Johnny Pedosta losing his phone in a taxi? Did you hear about twenty Hilldawg staffers each clicking on phishing emails?

Anyhoo, Democrats blamed Charles Delevan or Sara Latham or John Podesta for being fooled by the phishing email. Just kidding. Actually, they blamed The Google for not cybersquatting No, that didn't happen either. They blamed Russia, the country, as if every person in Russia speaks for Russia as a whole. What's that called when people take the actions of an individual and blame an entire group for it? Oh yeah, bigotry, that thing liberals claim to be against. Sources says that in an email leaked on October 12, 2016, John Podesta's iCloud password was revealed, and it may or may not have been "[email protected]" John Podesta's iCloud was allegedly hacked and his Twitter account was hacked or some shit.

Before the election, President Obama scoffed at the idea that an election could be stolen, as did Queen Hillary. Rigging an election? Insane. Hacking an election? Okay sure. Democrats were also alarmed by the idea that The Donald would not accept the results of the election. Oh the irony. Before The Donald won, people wrote articles saying Trump was "inciting a constitutional crisis" by refusing to accept the results of the election. Keith Olbermann called Trump's "wait-and-see" approach to election results "the moral equivalent of treason." Naturally, the old media accused the losing Hillary camp of treason for refusing to accept the results of a democratically held election in America and trying to spread FUD about Putin among electors in the electoral college, with John Podesta insisting the electors get intelligence briefings from the CIA, which has no history of interfering with elections. Democrats also insisted the 538 electors get shown the suspect photos in the McCann case.

Suddenly hax were big news in December, when the Podesta emails were leaked in early October back when Julian Assange was alive. Stories of Russian hackers were reported at least as far back as October 28 by CBS News, based on another claim on Motherboard talking about Fancy Bear using Bitly. Good thing some guy invented URL shorteners! Democrats also blamed Twitter for promoting the use of URL shorteners. Wait, that didn't happen either. BTW, how many hicks voted for Trump based on Wikileaks? Are rednecks known to be tech-savvy? How many blacks failed to vote for Hillary based on Wikileaks and not the fact that she's not black? BTW, Alicia Garza, one of the founders of Black Lives Matter said the Clintons use black people for votes. It's also Russia's fault for the low Democrat turnout. The butthurt blame game of crying liberals continues! No surprise, since Hillary Clinton spent $1.2 billion to make The Donald president. That can buy a lot of pizza and hot dogs and trips to Orgy Island!

After Pizzagate became a trending topic on Twatter, the mainstream media spammed "Fake News" at everyone. When that didn't work, they said Russians Hacked The Election to avoid talking about Pizzagate. Talking about Russian hax0rz is a roundabout way of alluding to Pizzagate and the Podesta emails, without having to actually show screenshots of Jimmy Comet saying "#chickenlovers", without having to show that Tony Podesta has had sick fuck artwork of two girls drowning in a swamp by Biljana Djurdjevic in his living room, without having to talk about Tamera Luzzatto or her grandkids, without having to show the suspects in the disappearance of Madeleine McCann who look eerily like the men who founded the Podesta Group who also reportedly got money from the Democratic Party of Moldova whose chief financial backer is a guy rumored to recruit girls for sex slavery, and without having to talk about how Fox News had a story about a new lead in the McCann investigation but it vanished from their website even though it's still on The Sun.

Some Democrats argue Russia "stole" the 2016 Presidential Election, but that there is nothing incriminating in the Podesta emails and that Pizzagate is fake news. Are you following along? Naturally, the old media did a poll and asked people what was their biggest reason for voting how they did, and the number one reason was Julian Assange. Assange hasn't been seen in a while BTW, after he was given food by Marina Abramovic fan Pam Anderson, and after John Podesta tweeted about the bad food at the Ecuadorian Embassy. Protip: Assange suggested Seth Rich was a source of leaked emails. Let's go ask Seth Rich if he did it! Oh that's right, he's dead. Let's go ask Andrew Breitbart what he meant when he said John Podesta covers up underage sex slavery! Oh that's right, he's dead too. Let's go ask Breitbart's coroner! Oh, he's dead too, although some argue it was someone else who examined the corpse. Sure would be nice if people around the Clintons would stop dying out of the blue. Must be a new trend...

Julian Assange said "a 14 year old could have hacked Podesta" - why was DNC so careless? Also said Russians did not give him the info!


Twitter-favicon.png The Donald on Twitter on January 4, 2017

Twitter bot shills

Lest anyone on Twatter believe in #Pizzagate, robot shills are here to help correct the record and implant uncertainty and doubt:

  • @bearspeakstruth
  • @BetzStern
  • @BrookeKaylee1
  • @GamekupyC
  • @hhtxbpgjgsgfaen
  • @notofashy
  • @ocntifokfnz
  • @username10000
  • @YrywodeC
Pizzagate twitter bots1.png
Pizzagate twitter bots2.jpg
#pizzagate fact check: musicians and artists can be morbid in weird. STILL not illegal kiddos


—Twitter bot shills

Maybe that guy from #pizzagate with his kid and the #chickenlover hashtag just ate some chicken and loved it?


—Twitter bot shills

Skippy bitches about the FBI

John "Skippy" Podesta has been writing for the Washington Post since last Thursday. On December 15, 2017, hoping to sway electors in the Electoral College before they voted December 19, 2017, John "Skippy" Podesta wrote an article for CIA's own WaPo, entitled "Something is deeply broken at the FBI", because the FBI gave immunity to a bunch of Hillary staffers for no reason and absolutely nobody went to jail. Just kidding. Skippy wrote, "The more we learn about the Russian plot to sabotage Hillary Clinton’s campaign and elect Donald Trump, and the failure of the FBI to adequately respond, the more shocking it gets." Wait a minute Skippy, did Hillary lose because everyone read your sick fuck emails, or because everyone despises Hillary and she was under FBI investigation and refused to drop out of the race for the good of the country, instead preferring to prop up a "pied piper" candidate whose wedding she attended, in the hopes that Amerifat would choose her as the lesser of two evils? I'm confused.

Skippy also complained that Seth Rich was still dead and his murderers haven't been found yet. Just kidding. Skippy complained that "messages were left with the DNC IT “help desk”" after the "FBI discovered the Russian attack in September 2015." Skippy said "Of course, as Comey himself concluded, in the end, there was no case." Because when someone leaks classified information even unintentionally, it's not a crime when Hillary does it. And it's not a crime when a Redditor asks for tech support on Reddit to ask how to delete a bunch of emails!

Skippy wrote "Comparing the FBI’s massive response to the overblown email scandal with the seemingly lackadaisical response to the very real Russian plot to subvert a national election shows that something is deeply broken at the FBI." Yeah, because Hillary setting up a private email server to hide all her shady dealings and then leaking classified information while Secretary of State (which is a federal crime) is exactly like you, Skippy, being a dumbfuck and freely giving away your password and then people finding out that your highly prized pizza-related handkerchief is missing and that little children who have no relation to you like to rub your "nose" in the wee hours of the morning.

In the article, Skippy wrote about his 75,000 shares in Joule Unlimited, and that he transferred a bunch of shares to Leonidio Holdings, where Skippy was a partner with his daughter Megan Rouse. And that Kremlin-financed energy company Joule Unlimited, which had gotten a $35 million investment from a company founded by Putin in 2007, elected Skippy to their board of directors, which also included four Russians, President and CEO of Rusnano (the Russian State Investment Fund) and former head of the Russian Federal Energy Agency Dmitry Akhanov, Russian investment banker Aram Grigorian, Serge Tchuruk, and Ruben Vardanyan. And the fact that Skippy's brother and Jimmy Comet's good friend Tony Podesta and the Podesta Group got paid $170,000 from a Russian bank Sberbank CIB to end US sanctions against Sberbank and VTB Capital, Russia’s second largest bank. Between March and September 2016, the Podesta Group charged Sberbank $20,000 per month plus expenses. Other Podesta lobbyists included David Abrams, Hillary's assistant Secretary of State for congressional affairs, and Stephen Rademaker, former State Department official under Dubya. The Podesta Group also represented SBGB Cyprus Ltd in Nicosia, Cyprus, you know, that island nation with links to current Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross and the Russian Fertilizer King Dimitry Rybolovlev who netted The Donald $60 million dollars profit on a mansion in Florida? Sources say Sberbank was the lead financial institution in the Russian deal to buy Uranium One, owned by Frank Giustra, one of Bill Clinton's friends. And that Giustra had donated $25 million to the Clinton Foundation, which contains the Clinton-Giustra Enterprise Partnership. Sources say the Podesta Group represented Giustra's company, and tried to move a deal forward for Giustra to sell his stake in uranium reserves. Secretary of State Hillary approved the sale, selling 20% of America's uranium ore to the Russian state atomic agency. Skippy also wrote about how The Donald's campaign chairman Paul Manafort and an associate Rick Gates helped direct over $1 million from a pro-Russian group in Ukraine to the Podesta Group, founded by Jimmy Comet's good friend Tony Podesta and his brother John Podesta, and another lobbying firm Mercury LLC. The European Centre for a Modern Ukraine, controlled by Putin ally and Ukrainian president Viktor Yanukovych, paid $2.2 million to the Podesta Group and Mercury LLC, with the Podesta Group getting $1.13 million of that. Jimmy Comet's good friend Tony Podesta also donated $130,000 to Hillary's campaign in 2016, whose campaign chairman was Tony's brother John "Skippy" Podesta.

Just kidding! Skippy wrote about Russian ties to Trump and the Trump team. Classic Alinsky tactics Skippy! That damn Trump and his team working with Russians, not like Hillary and her team! How dare the Russians, or someone posing as Russians, hack Skippy's emails while he's taking money from Russians and from Moldovan sex traffickers!

In a book called Shattered, some fag argues that the plan to blame Russia for Hillary's loss was concocted by John Podesta and Robby Mook, less than a day after she conceded, focusing on how Russian hacking was unreported by the media. Because everyone knows that rednecks are the biggest demographic that reads Wikileaks.

Media coverage

Megyn Kelly

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Republicans and Democrats do agree on some things.

Last Thursday, Jimmy Comet was interviewed by liberal darling MSNBC Faux News by blood-out-of-her-wherever Megyn "Buy My Book" Kelly, who said some guy named Roger rogered her good at Faux News. On Kelly File, Jimmy A said some shit, probably something like he doesn't even know what Instagram is! Here they showed every picture Jimmy "#chickenlovers" Comet posted on Instagram. Just kidding. Here they tried to "correct the record" among Faux News viewers, since about half of The Donald fans believe the Clintons are involved in a pedo ring, which is double the percentage of Democrats who believe the Clintons are involved in a Satanic child sex ring.

After she asked Jimmy "#chickenlovers" Comet all the hard hitting questions, presstitute Megyn Kelly was hired by NBC News, even though Faux News reportedly offered her $100 million to stay. Sources say Faux News will replace that blonde slot with Tucker Carlson.

Some argue that Hillary Clinton once said about The Donald, "if that fucking bastard wins, we all hang from nooses." But why? What kind of fucked up shit would make the public want to hang the Clintons and the Podestas from nooses?

Sean Hannity

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Last Thursday, a video of Julian Assange appeared on liberal darling some Sean Hannity show on Faux News, to dismiss rumors that Assange is a corpse or has been "renditioned" to some hellhole. The video did little to calm fears however, since viewers with weaponized autism noticed Assange's eyelid and shirt collar morph before their very eyes. This led some people to demand Proof Of Life. Various shills insisted those glitches were mere "morph cuts", because as everyone who has ever seen a magic show knows, if the video has been edited, that's definite proof of life.

Sources say Assange will be interviewed by Hannity inside the Ecuadorian Embassy. Assange supposedly did some AMA on that website where the CEO himself edits comments. Surely the first question answered was about the Wikileaks insurance files, or about reported mismatching hashes, or about a dead man's switch involving the Bitcoin blockchain.

Ben Swann

Wikileaks tweets about pizzagate and ben swann.jpg

Last Thursday, a reporter named Ben Swann of CBS46 in Atlanta did a segment on Pizzagate on actual television, which included mentions of the pedo logos that the FBI released in 2007, and the changed logo of Besta Pizza. Wikileaks mentioned it on their Twitter feed. Gizmodo and others wrote articles criticizing Swann. Later on the video was removed from their website, he shut down his Facebook page, and he told everyone he was "going dark" or some shit. So it's safe to assume that actual investigative journalist Ben Swann is a dead man walking.


Last Thursday Saturday, Saturday Night Live depicted The Donald getting a box of Putin for Christmas, rather than Herb Sandler getting a box of "cheese" instead of his usual "pasta" and complaining that Johnny had altered "strategies that have long been in place." What's that all about? Some argue according to some guy, cheese is code for little girls and pasta is code for little boys. But no! Surely John sends Herb pasta every year. Dried pasta. Because Italians love dried pasta so much! No! Surely John sends Herb a nice assortment of cheeses, and Herb asking about dominoes must be cocaine, so then playing cocaine on cheese makes perfect sense. No! Playing cocaine on pasta makes perfect sense!

Protip: Some argue "dominoes" refers to domination, like the color black meaning BDSM according to handkerchief color code theory on TOW or ED, and the color white meaning pure/virgin like the black-and-white handkerchief that may or may not have been put under a child in a Field House which hypothetically is an outdoor sports shed which hypothetically was a handkerchief of John's in there that realtor Kathryn Tate found who then asked a Sandler about it who asked John about it, that some argue is the kind of handerchief put under children as depicted in the artwork of alleged Satanic Ritual Abuse survivor Kim Noble, as seen below.

Art of Kim Noble on the right. Note the handkerchief on the ground.

Joe Rogan and Alex Jones Talk Pizzagate

On February 1, 2017, disinfo agent and "character" actor Alex Jones appeared on the Joe Rogan Experience episode #911 along with head trauma victim and retard Eddie Bravo. When Jones was not talking about inter-dimensional psychic vampires or drinking alcohol or smoking marijuana on the podcast, Jamie pulled up several items, including the email from the Podesta leaks talking about kids in the pool for "entertainment" who would be "in that pool for sure", and the video of Majestic Ape at Comet Ping Pong saying "we all have our preferences tee hee", and to both items Joe Rogan said WTF. They also showed video of James "#chickenlovers" Alefantis appearing on Megyn Kelly's show, with Alefantis saying this kind of thing could happen to anyone. Anyone who is best friends with Tony "diaper art" Podesta and who posts pictures of kids taped to tables and uses "#chickenlovers" and "#hotard" on Instagram and who is supported by DC interim police chief Peter Newsham who mishandled the case of an 11-year-old girl being raped. Clips from Fox News were also played, where audio of Alex Jones was played, with Jones saying that Hillary Clinton has personally murdered and raped and chopped up children. Jones told Rogan he was quoted out of context, and a longer clip was played with Jones saying the same things, but in reference to Libya and Syria. Thanks for poisoning the well, CIA shill/character actor/disinfo agent/crazy person Alex Jones! Mission accomplished!

Alex Jones apologizes

In March 2017, Alex Jones had Troll's remorse and read a statement saying he was sorry to James Alefantis and Comet Ping Pong. Some argue this was in response to a letter that James Alefantis sent Jones earlier, saying Jones had a month to retract statements he had made, including on 7 or so radio broadcasts, or some threat about a defamation lawsuit or some shit. The mainstream media reported this as Alex Jones Sorry For Promoting Pizzagate Hoax, or Pizzagate Conspiracy Theory, or Fake News Pizzagate Story. Some researchers were paranoid about the timing of this statement, just before a planned protest in DC regarding Pizzagate and missing children. Some argue there have been 500 missing children in DC so far in 2017.

You would think that Jimmy Comet would be interested in suing all the people who said that Pizzagate is the conspiracy theory that Hillary Clinton was running a child sex ring out of the basement of Comet Ping Pong, except it seems that Jimmy and writers at the Washington Post and the New York Times and Snopes have a difficult time actually, y'know, providing citations to people on the web who actually made that claim. Much easier for Jimmy to keep repeating that strawman claim, and play the victim. I mean, it's not like Jimmy has anything to hide, which is why he set his Instagram account with a profile picture of Antinous private.

Since the mainstream media has decided on the narrative that #pizzagate is "the conspiracy theory that Hillary Clinton was running a child sex ring out of the basement of Comet Ping Pong", and some argue that narrative can be traced back to some cunt at the New York Times, which is owned in part by Carlos Slim who has some shady dealings in Haiti, many investigators have dropped the #pizzagate hashtag and have transitioned to using #pedogate, since the media has poisoned the well with the Pizzagate term.

Describing "#pizzagate" as "the debunked conspiracy theory that Hillary Clinton was running a child sex ring out of the basement of Comet Ping Pong" is like saying "#blacklivesmatter is the conspiracy theory that black lives matter, which is debunked every time niggers murder other niggers." A few people who use the hashtag may believe that, but it's a Straw Man to speak for everyone who uses the phrase as a rallying point.

Dr Phil episode on sex trafficking

On March 21, 2017, Dr. Phil had an episode with an alleged survivor of child sex trafficking, the alleged victim of an elite pedo ring. Naturally, the New York Times and the Washing Post and Snopes all derided Dr. Phil for spreading fake news. Many Pizzagate truthers felt the episode was a vindication of their efforts to uncover elite pedo rings.

Pizzagate gunman pleads guilty

Last Thursday, the Pizzagate gunman Edgar Welch pled guilty for having the best shot in the world, shooting and destroying the computer of James "#chickenlovers" Alefantis, which may or may not have housed all his CP. James Alefantis also wanted over $5,000 to replace the computer, which may or may not have housed all his CP. Isn't it weird how Welch went to Comet Ping Pong to allegedly save kids, and he only ended up destroying evidence which could have been used to prosecute James Alefantis if the allegations were true? Not to Pizzagate truthers, who believe Welch was a crisis actor, since Welch has acted in the past, with credits on IMDB. Welch could get 2 to 7 years in prison for shooting the hard drive of just a regular pizza-making guy named Jimmy who also goes to the Royal Palace in Denmark with the 3rd most powerful lobbyist in DC, Tony Podesta, who took money from a Russian bank to get sanctions ended and who lobbied on behalf of Raytheon, the makers of the 59 Tomahawk missiles that assraped an airbase in Syria last Thursday.

Skippy and Stephen Colbert

John "Skippy" Podesta appeared on The Colbert Report on an episode which aired January 29, 2009. John "Skippy" Podesta has also been photographed with Stephen Colbert. Sources say that Skippy and Tony of the Podesta Group hosted a fundraiser in 2013 for Colbert's sister, Elizabeth Colbert Busch, who ran for Congress in South Carolina. Sources say Stephen Colbert was in Charleston, South Carolina on February 23, 2013 for a private fundraiser for his sister.

Jimmy Writes For WaPo Now

On April 20, 2017, an article by James "#chickenlovers" Alefantis was published by the CIA's Washington Post, since Jimmy's dad Achilles used to work for the CIA and the CIA recently gave Hillary's own WaPo a bunch of money. It was entitled "What happened when 'Pizzagate' came to my restaurant", and was about how Jimmy's computer being shot by Ed Welch was the greatest thing that ever happened to Jimmy. But seriously. Jimmy "#chickenlovers" Comet wrote "Sadly, many people who don’t know me or my neighborhood cling to an absurd lie: that I and political figures including Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton and her campaign chairman, John Podesta, run a child-slavery ring out of Comet’s basement." However, Jimmy didn't give any citations or attribution to that claim. You think he'd want to name names! Jimmy wrote that Edgar Maddison Welch was "following calls by conspiracy theorists for a 'self-investigation' of the concocted sex ring", presumably a reference to professional "character actor" Alex Jones. Jimmy wrote "Anti-Clinton conspiracy theorists and online trolls congregating on Reddit and 4chan, decided that the words 'pizza' and 'cheese' in these emails were code for pedophilia." Again, with no attribution. Which emails Jimmy? Which posts on Leddit Jimmy? Which posts on 4chins Jimmy? That shit isn't Snapchat.

Some argue that the meme that a child sex ring is run out of CPP's basement is spread primarily by Jimmy Comet himself, so he can play the victim forever. Jimmy "#chickenlovers" Comet even mentioned his "Pizza Slut" "goddaughter", saying "Our community of food runners, hosts, bussers, waiters, customers, artists we display, bands that performed, my godchildren, surrounding businesses and my mother all were harassed by self-proclaimed 'investigators.'" Hmm, would you care to address anything posted on Instagram by Joshua Ryan Vogelsong? Perhaps show everybody what you're talking about? Or perhaps show everybody the photos of your "godchildren" that you posted publicly on Instagram yourself? Or video of the bands that perform at your "kid friendly" restaurant? Jimmy also alluded to how his ex-buttbuddy David Brock had a heart attack, saying "A few weeks ago, when my best friend and former partner suffered a heart attack, these same trolls said it was retribution." Jimmy alluded to earlier protests at CPP, writing "They came out in droves when we reopened. And then, two months later, on inauguration weekend, demonstrators came to Comet with signs reading 'GOT AIDS YET?' and a megaphone to call me a 'faggot' and 'pedophile' and our neighborhood Sodom and Gomorrah." Notice how he never denied he was a faggot and a pedophile. But Jimmy did say "my staff, our neighbors, our community, pointed the restaurant’s speakers toward the hate, turned the volume as high as it would go, blasted Lady Gaga’s 'Born This Way' and danced the bigots away." Apparently Jimmy "#chickenlovers" Comet thinks pedophiles are born that way, and that people who hate pedophiles are bigots. I bet Salon agrees! I wonder what Tony Podesta thinks? What do Denny's victims think?

Skippy Comes Out of the Woodwork

John podesta thanks james.png

On April 19, 2017, John "Skippy" Podesta tweeted about Congressman Jason Chaffetz deciding to leave Congress and stop investigating Hillary, writing "When they say it's about family, it’s never about family." Oh, so kind of like that leaked Podesta email from October 8, 2015 where step-grandmother and former chief of staff for Senator Hillary Clinton Tamera Luzzatto spoke of "Our Gang's visit to the farm in Lovettsville" and listed a bunch of children's names and their ages as being "entertainment" who would be "in that pool for sure" and they weren't even biologically hers, and like her blog Edie's Crib offering "online, raw, and uncut" access to her step-grandchildren? Tamera Luzzatto, who is friends with Lissa Muscatine at Politics and Prose? And Jim Kennedy at News Corp, and Dana Bash of CNN, and Glenn Thrush of Politico, and Annie Groer of WaPo, and Ruth Marcus of WaPo, and Terri McCullough of the Clinton Foundation, and Tony Podesta, and Mary Podesta, and DoD Deputy Assistant Secretary Chuck Kosak, and Jon Finer of the State Department, and who also knows Jay Rockefeller? Tamera Stanton Luzzatto, who was chief of staff to Hillary when Hillary was a Senator, and who married David J. Leiter, who was appointed to the Department of Energy under Bill Clinton? Tamera Luzzatto, who was the chief of staff to Senator John D. Rockefeller IV of West Virginia? The grandchildren actually belonging to Anne Luzzatto, member of the Council of Foreign Relations and National Security Council?

On April 20, 2017, John "Skippy" Podesta tweeted "I know I’m asking for it but the community is great and the pizza is great too. Thanks James.", linking to James "#chickenlovers" Alefantis' article in WaPo, and apparently a reference to the "community" around Comet Ping Pong and James "#chickenlovers" Alefantis.

In conclusion

Look, all this just looks bad if you look at it as a whole. If you just look at each thing in isolation and ignore everything else, clearly it's just a coincidence. A thousand coincidences.

Basically, Pizzagate truthers kind of lost the element of surprise in their keyboard warrior investigations, giving sick fucks quite some time to set their Instagram accounts to private and render their victims into cooking oil. Did an online witch hunt ruin an innocent man a weirdo's business all for the lulz? Only time will tell. Maybe Jimmy Comet using #chickenlovers was all just a big misunderstanding?

Last Thursday, some autist ran into a Philly church or some shit and yelled "Pizzagate is real!"

The guy who made Dilbert says the mountain of evidence behind Pizzagate is just confirmation bias. But everyone can agree that Serbian "artists", like Marina Abramovic and Biljana Djurdjevic, are the most fucked up in the world. Another fucked up artist randomly mentioned alongwith Pizzagate is Kim Noble, supposedly a victim of Satanic Ritual Abuse.

Needless to say, although God-Emperor The Donald said Hillary "would be in jail" if he won, The Donald "doesn't wish to pursue" charges against the Hildebeast. When two criminals run against each other, they usually agree to pardon whoever loses. Could that have anything to do with the three lawsuits filed against The Donald alleging that he raped a 13-year-old girl in the 90s at Jeffrey Epstein's mansion in New York? Nothing to see here folks, move along. Sleep tight!

tl;dr - aliens


But from what I hear, #PizzaGate = ILLUMINATI.


President Obama's half-brother Malik Obama, via Twitter on November 30, 2016.

So Wikileaks, Alex Jones, and the subreddit subgeniuses... and I mean this in the nicest way possible - grow the fuck up!


Stephen Colbert


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