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<lolwut> I was fapping to underage pr0n of girls that were older than me when I started on /b/ <3



Pedobear a.gif
Hanson exploitable fixed.png

Pedophilia (or p ae dophilia) is a word which Americans can't say right. It is also a brain problem where the subject is sexually turned on by the damn fucking young (3 to 13 years old), but most of the people busted for kiddyfiddling are busted as a first offense for going after 13-17, whereas the ones going after under 13 usually get away with it for a long time until they start to obsess over the infamous baby fuck. All pedophiles are universally hated because they are all fucking immature assholes.

Given that its very difficult to prosecute when two minors have sex, some resourceful pedophiles think they may have found a loophole.

Pedophiles work within a similar system George Lucas copied for the Jedi idea in Star Wars. There is an Master "a.k.a. deaddrop" (see nexopia) and a Padawan, "a.k.a. republican". Famous pedos include, Jack McClellan, Michael Jackson, Jerry Sandusky, Michael Towers and any leading member of the Roman Catholic Church. A first time offender going after a 17 year old and then caught by Chris Hansen might look normal. But a long-term pedophile is YouTube Favicon.png typically an ungainly and unattractive male person possessing a bad shave, a look of southern inbreeding, and will play at home with children's toys. He may have had a light colored van with highly tinted windows, which he uses to kidnap and fuck the shit out of your children. If no van, then the long term pedophile is skilled at child grooming and will form a long-term attachment before molesting the child. But remember, Chris Hansen is always watching.

If your pedophile alarm doesn't ring, I don't know what will.
Single pic explanation of Pedophilia.
Pedophiles molest children in Satanic rituals to harness their energy.

It should also be noted that there are no female pedophiles. Actually, there are but they do not do such things online but instead with their 16 yr old jock students who, to them, are just plain lucky, but this does not mean it will happen to you, in fact, it will not. Wrong, women are incapable of pedophilia because women are 1, not attracted to men, and 2, do not want sex. Thusforth pedophilia from females is impossible - if you have seen one, they are either a trap or mere henchmen. Pedophilia in men starts at the age of 13 where they start to find their 13 female classmates attractive. This however remains in males even through their upper teen years, they are still attracted to the same 13 year old girls instead of girls their own age. Males even at the age of 20 are still attracted to 13 year olds, they instead settle for a fat 15 year old (if they are not in college) or a decent 20 year old (if they are in college). When a male turns 30, he goes through a stage of "commitment" in which he finds a decent lady (usually around the age of 25, just when they are dropping out of college) to get married to and live with. Even through their 30s, men are still attracted to the exact same 13 year old girls. As a man reaches 40, he is not longer attracted to his wife and begins using the internet to talk to younger girls on Facebook or Yahoo chatrooms. At the age of 40 is when men start hitting on the babysitter, niece, or generally whoever reminds them of 13 year old girls, which usually results in marital problems, job problems, and related issues. When a man turns 50, his wife is completely done with sex and therefore the man must resort to actually pursuing his dreams of pedophilia. What now goes through his head is "if I'm gonna cheat on my wife, it might as well be with those 13 year old girls I've been putting off for so long". A lot of men are just fucked up. This is when they begin their plan to finally realize their hidden fantasy. Between then and the time they actually go out and do it can take anywhere from 3 days to 30 years, then as they finally meet the young girl they hope to get freaky deaky with, Gary Oak comes out of their bedroom zipping up his pants, followed by Chris Hansen who owns you before the police put the permanent banhammer on your ass. Your life is over, good job.

Child Molester Rap

A famous pedophile.
Don't be a pussy
Based on the song "Ha" by Juvenile

That's you with that bad ass candy van ha
That's you that can't keep yo' women ha
cause you keep fuckin their children ha
You gotta go to court ha
You got served a subpoena for child abuse ha
That was that nerve ha
You ain't even much get a chance to say a word ha
I know you a child rapist but your rich parents got ya out with money ha
You ready to fuck one of them children ass ha
You ain't scared ha
You know how to play wiv 'em ha
I know you ain't just gonna let a moralist come and punk you ha
You know who got the youngest kids in da hood ha
You know how to groom them in triplets ha
Shit ain't hard as it seems ha
You keep your body clean ha
You got a lot of candy ha
Some of your friends sell dope ha
You really want to fuck them children ha
You show up with them children ha
You stuck it in them children ha

(Chorus 2X)

You a child molester, you got them in the crosshair
Remaining a pedo until the moment you expire
You know what it is to make a sex slave out of a child
You rape those children and they be cryin and suffering

You can't do nothing but love little girls ha
She wants to know what you gonna do next ha
You brought duct tape with glue ha
You not even wearing a condom ha
You tryin to protect your chest ha
You spent 70 on candy ha
That ain't yours, girl, that's for your friends ha
You wanna let these girls play with your rod ha
You wanna run the child market ha
You wanna be the only pedo which sells children ha
You keep your cock hard ha
You count the money at the end of the night ha
You on a three day flight to the Caribbean ha
Your basement full of children there ha

Catholic priests in training.

You fuckin them children ha
Your face was on the news last night ha
You the one that robbed them little creatures of their innocence last night ha
You meet them in their houses when it's dark ha
They claim you a thug and you ain't got no heart ha
You came in her ass on new years eve ha
You got stuck in that little bitch and couldn't leave ha
It was hard for her to breathe ha

(Chorus 2X)

You a child molester, you got them in the crosshair
Remaining a pedo until the moment you expire
You know what it is to make a sex slave out of a child
You rape those children and they be cryin and suffering

Pedophiles' Guide to Little Girls
Another Handy Pedo reference chart

You got a trespassing charge ha
That dick got hard ha
When you were looking at them little girls ha
You don't know when to quit ha
That's you with that girl shouting shit ha
That's you with that candy shit ha
That's you that's taking them innocence ha
That little hoe don't know when to shut up her mouth ha
You gonna knock that little hoe teeth out ha
You done switched from ass to mouth ha
You search for children everytime you leave your house ha
Them welfare checks arrived ha
You bout to fuck that girl ha
You bout to steal another virginity ha
You gonna treat your children well ha
You bout to go put the dick in one of these hoes' cunt ha
When you broke her you drove her crazy ha
When you paid her in candy you got other kids to fuck ha
You always on top ha
You rob some child's innocence ha
You don't think you can be stopped ha
You ridin in the candy van with little girls in it ha

(Chorus 2X)

You a child molester, you got them in the crosshair
Remaining a pedo until the moment you expire
You know what it is to make a sex slave out of a child
You rape those children and they be cryin and suffering

Pro activism

internet pedo hunting ground...
Pedo dreams
[The] grotesque delusion that children are innocent white angels, is the cause of an awful lot of damage


—Pro-pedophilia activist, Gunnar R. Tjomlid

Imitating the disinformation campaign of the furries, organizations like NAMBLA and social movements like childlove exist to make kid-fucking (specifically boy-fucking) seem normal, and seek to make their vile practice totally legal (homosexuality was also regarded as evil and unnatural in the past, but faggots will ignore this fact). Organizations like Perverted-Justice, meanwhile, pretend to exist to hunt pedophile morons (or just general perverted dumbasses) down like dogs, get them arrested, and then post their personal information online for everyone to mock and throw flaming bags of dogshit at. However, neither Perverted-Justice nor Chris Hansen has actually caught a pedophile, only sick fucks going after 16 year old girls instead of pedophiles that literally say "if it's eight it's too late." A lot of these Perverted Justice types are passive-aggressive sociopath assholes who pop a chubbies at the opportunity to ruin flawed people's lives on television.

In recent developments the perfectly reasonable government of Greece decided to sell all the hotels, houses and mortgage the Parthenon in order to be able to spend the last pocket change they have on benefits for the welfare of pedophiles, pyromaniacs, compulsive gamblers, fetishists, exhibitionists and sado-masochists and then be the first to quit the Monopoly game of the European Union.

The ones that are anti-pedo usually are just bigots that moved to pedophobia since homophobia is frowned upon in society.

Their "arguments" are usually like:

Organizations like Perverted Justice are composed entirely of illiterate faggots with no sex-lives on a hate trip, claiming that they come across as even more stupid than the pedophiles they are trying to hunt, though again they've never caught a single pedophile, only people after jailbait. By making pedophilia even more taboo, they proudly claim to have actually increased the amount of pedophiles in America by over 9,000 since 2001. However, the people who argue this are usually pedos themselves and like the owner of, Scott Morrow (a diaper wearing faggot), they have little concept of the fact that pedophilia is already taboo. You can't get much more taboo than fucking children. It is not known how you force a pedophile underground further, although it's probably something to do with the self-pwnage of Perverted Justice "victims".

Disney has been known to endorse pedophilia, such as in the lesser-known furry movie The Rescuers, and Rangerphiles.

Mr. Mac teaches you how to get the job done:

On teh internets

Text-book pedo talk.

The REALLY stupid pedophiles are found in Internet chat rooms, Not4chan, Anontalk, and IRC under names like "bunnyHoney22", "Markos", "velocity7", "Foehammer95", "burntheprettyones", "fungirlL00k1ingforguyz", or "iwanttorapeuanally". For the people who can actually use a computer, there are on-topic imageboards, hosting services and Gnutella, available on any darknet (including Freenet, Tor and I2P). In the words of Raptor Jesus: "Turn a stone and you shall...IS DAT SUM CP, FUKKEN SAVED." They also exist on LJ, targeting 12 year old girls and 13 year old boys. Various Pedophile Support Communities are found all over the internets.

Extensive scientific research has shown that, BTW, Wayback Machine Favicon.jpg some kids are totally asking for it. However, everybody knows that this is a load of shit.

Below is an example of a cultural phenomenon which has emerged in the past two decades, that of the almost-JB acting like non-JB which is weird even though they're obviously only attractive to sick fucks and other 11 year olds, so, yeah, confusion probably. If they stripped off, they'd be CP and you'd get fucking V&, sunshine. Contrary to popular belief, the behavior below is not why girls on YouTube are victims of surprise sex but rather a manifestation of a change in media demographics and a slackening of parental controls on increasingly difficult to censor communication mediums. This has been emergent since the 1980s and is now reaching crisis point.

Of course, they could just be totally asking for it.


JewTube video showing a national treasure of Australia, Geoffrey Leonard.
Alright, grub. KEH-KEH-KEH-KEH-KEH-KEH-KEH! Grub."


Crazy Australian Pedophile 2:59

Australia's youngest pedophile, Morgan Bye.

In England and its colonies, where the main language isn't Spanglish, pedophiles are known as "paedophiles" (pronounced "Pee - Doh - Files"). "Paedophiles" successfully avoid capture, year after year, due to the difficulty of spelling this word correctly on legal paper work. Because it's so hard to spell, pediatricians in the UK are regularly mistaken as pedophiles and attacked by angry mobs; see this story.

Archetypal English Sunday-School Teacher

The massive amount of taxpayer expense involved in these judiciary blunders is why the age of consent in those areas was lowered to 16. Pedobear suggests Iceland where the age of consent is 14. Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Faroe Islands are also recommended where the age of consent is 5.

England now has a site dedicated to naming and shaming pædophiles; or, as they are more commonly known, "nonces". (Brit slang circa 1970).

Noncewatch (BALEETED) is an offshoot of the website Redwatch (BALEETED), a "Hit List" database run by a conglomerate of mouthbreathing Aryan Nation fucktards that lists home addresses and other private information about the pinko commie scum of England (i.e., anyone who denies the supremacy of the white race, believes in evolution, or called them names in grammar school). Not surprisingly, the British establishment, seriously lacking in lulz, have attempted time and again to get the site closed.

Despite the overwhelming evidence that the majority of pædophiles who target the same sex do not identify themselves as homosexual and have a history of exclusively heterosexual adult relationships, they often list run-of-the-mill faggots who have no connection with child pornography at all.

In the middle east, it is perfectly legal for older men to marry children as young as 10 years old.

A girl aged 10 or 12 can be married. Those who think she's too young are wrong and they are being unfair to her."


Sheikh Abdul Aziz Al-Sheikh , speaking from Osama Bin Laden's recent wedding.


Right wing duffucks the world around have staunchly resisted appeals to replace the death penalty with the more progressive rape penalty, denying prisoners invaluable medical treatment and fat patrons the opportunity to spend money and become YouTube sensations putting little bitch pedos in their proper place. Despite this ideological intolerance, American prisons have engaged in a successful strategy of decriminalization that virtually ensures that each and every pedo will receive the opportunity to be buttfucked on multiple occasions by fellow prisoners with adult physique. While the program hasn't been implemented widely enough to see a large-scale benefit, there is already a small but significant fraction of pedos who claim to have been cured by this technique, and there is every reason to hope that ultimately they can all be recruited to a more standard bottom role in normal society.

Pedo videos

See also: a bear's collection of songs and videos which are relevant this this subject matter
How pedophiles use online games to molest children

Do the Sex Offender Shuffle!

What little boy lovers dream about

Oooh-yeah! Lolis!

The Notorious Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

Shake it, lil girl!

Lazytown: pedo's delight

A pedo gets pwned by a demented loli with DubStep

How to pretend to be 10 years old

Kids these days sure don't make it easy to stay clean

Using religion to subvert the system

Nuvola apps xmag.png Moar info: Metzizah b'peh.

Mohel's and other circumcisers get hard (or sometimes wet) from the idea of playing with an infants penis, and cutting into it with sharp objects. Feminist man-hating pedo's love this most, but 40 something year old pedo males with doctorates love it as well. The Jewish Pedo Mohel especially loves sucking the penis of the boy after cutting the boy, getting hard, and cumming in his pants (a ritualistic Jewish ceremony known as the bris milah). That is the best part!

Their only guilty pleasure is an inncent hug...(please note that over 90% of Irish Catholic priests are pedos).

Terms and Types


Jewish baby get's his first blow job!


What hebephilies go after. Can you really blame them?
  • Childlove: Remember-It's a child's RIGHT to be fucked! And if they tell no one will believe them anyways.
  • Nineyophilia: a special will to pleasure girls, only at the age of 9. People who have this sickness like to love-kiss little girls in the shower.
  • Pederasty: Raping little boys is EDUCATIONAL!
  • Pedosexual: Alternate term. Pedophiles prefer it because they think it makes pedophilia sound like a normal sexual orientation. Anti-pedos prefer it because it reminds people that pedophiles don't love children and only want to have sex with them, as opposed to necrophiliacs who really do fall romantically in love with dead bodies.
  • Korephilia: Attraction to female preteens by adult women; i.e. lesbian pedophilia.


An experienced pedophile
Professional Child Prostitutes provider
  • Hebephilia: Enjoys pubescent Jewish pre-teens, plain and simple. Chris Hansen and Perverted-Justice target this type of person a lot of the time. NathanR and Brian Peppers were also busted for this. Real pedophiles like the people at consider this so old that they're disgusted by it. Marvel and myths show that Hebe was actually the Greek goddess of youth, and Herakles wife besides that.
  • Ephebophilia: Like Hebephilia, but instead of 11-14, it's 13-18, which is even less pedo, though still legally defined as "child," wink wink. Wiktionary:ephebe defines the etymology as "A young man, especially an 18-20 year old in ancient Greece undergoing military training." so who knows how this came to be.
  • Teleiophilia: Gets off only on larger, hairier children who can vote, buy cigarettes, and might be wrinkly. A common symptom of this disorder is the unavoidable urge to spend time on the telephone, thus the name.
  • Gerontophilia: Gets off on shrunken thin-skinned children who don't need to earn money & often take pills to have erections. Their caregivers often restrict their candy intake since they have a tendency to get hyper. They sometimes nickname their victims 'elders' because their sweat tastes as sweet as elderberries since they sneak so much candy regardless.
  • Negrophilia: As the elders continue to shrink, they enter a period of hibernation under the earth during which point they continue to lose weight and become very neotenic. Their skin blackens, and eventually with the assistance of the Negrophile who is an expert at digging, they emerge from the earth as an negro who, in appreciation, offer themself to the negrophile's wim. Negrophiles have a tendency to allow their insect friends sloppy seconds, at which point they indulge their vore fetish. Often, the negro is so sexually satisfied by being gangraped by the negrophile and bug friends that they will pass out for at least 100 centuries. Some of the females who don't get off may relocate for additional sex.

The Pedo-Stache

As a means of "hiding in plain sight" pedophiles have learned to uniquely brand themselves in such a way as to make themselves easily recognizable to each other while still being able to avoid notice of the general public. One of their "trademarks" if you will is the pedo-stache, most often worn as an unkempt, straight across the mouth, pencil or pseudo chevron style. Often the product of not being man enough to grow a real mustache, the look can likewise be found on most teens who are sorely attempting to compensate for a lack of pube growth.

Pedo-Stache Gallery About missing Pics
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Galleria De Pedophilios About missing Pics
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Starlet-Worthy About missing Pics
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See Also

The good old days
Moar traditional conservative values
Five year old mother sunday post 9 september 1940.jpg



"wut r u wearin?"
This is how they deal with pedos in Britain.


External Links


Genuine appreciators of unused-virgin-pussy




  • Corrupted-Justice oops down, they shut in 2012
  • Guy on MySpace boldly defends pedophilia. (also down)
  • Known supporter of antilulz (also down)
  • This person; "All these sexual taboos we have today are so unnatural — not the taboos themselves, but the being of them. I'm sure all of our first reaction to the notion pedophilia is, like, ewww. The reaction is shared by me too. But let's give pedophiles some slack. They didn't choose their orientation; and the very reason they are bad isn't because there is actually anything wrong with what they want to do, but because of our instinctive reaction to call them bad. Hopefully, as history moves forward, we can become more accepting of one another's sexual dispositions. Hopefully, as pedophilia becomes more accepted by society, the possible psychological trauma children might receive will lessen. Hopefully, a more accepting day will come."
  • Reddit is full of pedos and their "apologists". Example: [2][3] ArchiveToday-favicon.pngGawker 1 ArchiveToday-favicon.pngGawker 2 ArchiveToday-favicon.pngJezebel
  • B4U_ACT is pushing to get pedophilia removed from the DSM.

Helpful YouTube Documentary

[Case ClosedOpen Up to Us]
Pedophilia is part of a series on Psychology
Antisocial personality disorder Hannibal Lector.jpg Mental illness & Disorders

AcrotomophiliaAddictionAgoraphobiaAlcoholismAlexis Pilkington SyndromeAlzheimer'sAnorexiaAntisocial personality disorderAnthropophobiaAnxietyADDADHDAsperger's SyndromeAutismBimboficationBipolarBorderline personality disorderBug ChasingBulimiaDeep thinkerDepressionDick ImpalementDown's SyndromeDyslexiaEating disorderFactitious disorderFake SchizophreniaFauxlimiaFeminismGender dysphoriaGirl on the Internet SyndromeHeterophobiaHero ComplexHFAHistrionic Personality DisorderHutchence's SyndromeHyperbolimiaInadequacyInconsistent personality disorderInsanityLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLow Self-esteem'Missing White Woman' SyndromeMultiple personality disorderNapoleon ComplexNarcissistic personality disorderNeurotypicalObsessive Compulsive DisorderParanoiaParanoid personality disorderPeter Pan SyndromePost-Traumatic Stress DisorderPsychopathyRetardationSchizophreniaSeasonal Affective DisorderSelf-diagnosisSelf InjurySexsomniaSickfuckerySociopathySocial anxiety disorderSpecial Snowflake SyndromeTrolling Induced Transsexuality SyndromeTulpaUnrealistic expectationsVictim complex


AcrotomophiliaAquaphiliaArborphiliaAudiophiliaAutogynephiliaBalloon FetishBestialityCarmen Electra complexCross DressingDollfiliaEmetophiliaEmosexualityEproctophiliaFatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • FetishismFoot FetishFurniture PornFurrismGoo girlGuroHeterophiliaHomophiliaInflation FetishJapanophiliaJungle FeverLesbian pedophiliaLotion PlayMacrophiliaMaiesiophiliaMechanophiliaMpregNecrophiliaObjectophiliaOedipial ComplexParaphiliaPedophiliaPlushophiliaPregnant LoliPregnophiliaQuicksand FetishRangerphiliaSpectrophiliaStatuephiliaTrichophiliaVoraphiliaWet and Messy FetishismWetlookXenophiliaYellow feverZoophilia


Chronic Troll SyndromeDeletionismE-goE-PsychiatristE-PsychiatryETDHivemindI-DosingI have a 140 IQIRC DiseaseImaginary girlfriendInternet Disease & Internet Disease ChartInternet poverty delusionsInternet RehabInternet troll personality disorderMega ultra super geniusNerdy Fandom Gateway TheorySex by associationLulz-BlindnessWikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases


ask.fmBrainwashingHypnosisMilgram ExperimentScientologyStanford Prison ExperimentThe Hivemind Corollary


Above Top SecretB/Bodies Under SiegeCYOCChatrouletteDefense Industries

See also:

American Psychiatric AssociationAngerASMRChild abuseConscienceDreamsDSMEnlightenmentIntelligenceLobotomyMary BellPsychiatristySerial KillersTake the meat bridgeThe Law of ConformityTrigger Warning

Pedophilia is part of a series on
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Featured article June 23, 2005
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