From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigationJump to search

PRISM is a YouTube Favicon.png "crystallized system of security" in which "trusted computer systems were modified" by secretive elements in the US and Israeli governments US government because they don't trust Israelto spy on terrorists, alleged terrorists, the families of alleged terrorists, and anyone who says mean things on the internet. This ongoing series of leaks has caused Americans to experience massive amounts of butthurt because instead of targeting only certain people, the NSA basically slurps up the entire Internet, and stores the data in numerous locations where dubious individuals look over your n00dz and sex chats, to ensure that your penis is not planning to destroy our freedoms. Unless of course, your planned ride in the dongcopter fulfils essential objectives to their plans. So pretty much PRISM enables the existence of another TSA-styled agency that gets paid at least five times as much per employee, unless the job is outsourced to friends like Great Britain or Israel. In short, the PRISM scandal is just a follow-up to the Patriot Act, so there really isn't an excuse for anyone not seeing this coming.

If you aren't going to do it for liberty, at least do it for the lulz.

Nuvola apps xmag.png Moar info: Patriot Act.

We should have seen it coming

History of PRISM and the American Police State

PRISM was first created by George W. Bush back in 2007 in order to keep America safe from terrorism caused by American foreign policy, but conveniently ignores threats that will grant the police state more powers. Not to mention any terrorist attacks used as political ploys by the shadow government and friends will be conveniently ignored. So this system is not really designed to keep anyone safe, but designed to fuck you over if you question anything, ever. Welcome to 1984! Enjoy your Thought Police watching you masturbate to baby-fur porn. Do it while it is still legal!

Given PRISM officially started in 2007, that means PRISM's creeping into enforcement agencies that don't have anything to do with terrorism can be directly attributed to Emperor Obama and "The Moses of our time," Eric "Fast and Furious" Holder. Despite Bush creating this program, the overwhelming majority of violations of the Constitution occurred during Obama's administration. Despite that this observation is clearly empirical, Democrats and other Stockhold-syndromed Liberals will keep blaming Bush for Obama's many failures and gross incompetence.



The following companies and nations deny any involvement, but have been brutally exposed as liars:

The following countries also wanted to play as seen here


Who benefits from this?

One would think that the United States government benefits from this spying program, but that was only when it was a secret. Now since everyone and their grandmother knows about it, it only hurts the United States image and credibility. This should have been pretty obvious to anyone who had authority to know this program existed, but against their better judgements, decided not to rein back anything, so it is safe to say that PRISM never benefited the American government, but was inevitably going to be a colossal liability. However, that doesn't mean people didn't profit or exploit this global spying program:

Revelations from the leaks

Colors signify how much surveillance a particular nation gets.

Drama and other IRL events that have resulted because of the leaks

Global Events

North American events

European events

South American events

How to troll the NSA

You should troll them since that is part of their job description.
Post this image wherever Obamabots and other liberals gather.

Feel free to include your own ideas about how to best troll the NSA

Be sure to pack plenty of lube when they ship your ass to Guantanamo Bay for fucking with them!

Parabon Leaks

Hey! EDEXCLUSIVE.jpg This article is an Encyclopedia Dramatica exclusive.
This article is only for the discriminating lulz connoisseur.
If you have any exclusive drama to add, click here.

Known twitter troll AgentViz was one day googling PRISM and stumbled upon the Parabon Computation's unsecured database easily full of millions of dollars in custom software. Such software includes Locksmith which makes all SSL utterly useless. He immediately proceeded to copy everything while spamming the exposed url (which was up for 24-36 hours) to anyone who gave a shit about proliferation of this free software onto the internet. The journalist behind the PRISM leaks, Glenn Greenwald was sent the exposed url, but for unknown reasons, he didn't publish this story. This makes Encyclopedia Dramatica literally the first source officially reporting on this aspect of the ongoing PRISM scandal. So please enjoy the lulz and software while it is still up. There are papers on what some of the software does here, but none exist for Jigsaw, so no one knows what this is. Presumably based on the name, it might have to do with encryption, but who knows? That is what our scientists are for!

These urls keep getting killed, so if they aren't working at any given moment, we are trying to upload them to a new url.

The Pirate Bay link is down so use this magnet link (this is a torrent, copy & paste the following gibberish into your torrent client): magnet:?xt=urn:btih:f8a942ccff260f7b9035bbf3b8af5c3013e21097&dn=Parabon+Leaks

Remember, only faggots use Mega. Mega forwards your IP to the FBI, which is why these files get deleted so quickly.

Proof the Leak Happened About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Evidence that the NSA give a shit about these files

The NSA has already arrived to the scene trying to make you think this software is useless and are working very hard to kill the links. Experts are looking into exactly what this unimportant software does (which is a process that the leaker and friends think will take months, partly why we think that no genuine person took the time to look into these files before dismissing this as unimportant). Given the drama happening over this, we suspect the software is not unimportant. As we get further to the truth of this, the NSA will troll more because they are too incompetent to realize the Streisand Effect only makes us more determined in our research into these supposedly unimportant files.

NSA Trollings (an ongoing documentation) About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Russia Today doesn't care about these leaks cause Anonymous™ wasn't responsible

ED takes down RT.jpeg

Then we would never have published this story, we will edit it. Thanks


—RT on how they only care about internet leaks if Anonymous™ is responsible

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Research into the Parabon Computations Leaks

The leaker is posting some data here. But here are also some pictures of the work he has done so far with other computer experts. So even if something happens to Encyclopedia Dramatica or our writers, there will still be people working on finding out exactly what this unimportant data is. And if bad things happen, hopefully, you will work on finding out the truth of why these files are so unimportant because you aren't a Pussybitch. Cause if they are willing to do bad things to journalists and researchers over unimportant software, what do you think their plans will have in store for you? Fight back while you still can.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

The Real Story behind the Parabon Computation Leaks

The further our leaker went into the leaks, he found out that the United States government is employing corporations of mad scientists to research cool shit. This would make some people uncomfortable, but given Encyclopedia Dramatica is pro-mad scientist, the realization that the United States has such technology at its disposal is pretty cool. You can read more about the mad scientist research here.


No, I’m not going to be scrambling jets to get a 29-year-old hacker


Obama on what he isn't going to do, but does it anyway with President Morales plane


One week ago I left Hong Kong after it became clear that my freedom and safety were under threat for revealing the truth. My continued liberty has been owed to the efforts of friends new and old, family, and others who I have never met and probably never will. I trusted them with my life and they returned that trust with a faith in me for which I will always be thankful.

On Thursday, President Obama declared before the world that he would not permit any diplomatic "wheeling and dealing" over my case. Yet now it is being reported that after promising not to do so, the President ordered his Vice President to pressure the leaders of nations from which I have requested protection to deny my asylum petitions.

This kind of deception from a world leader is not justice, and neither is the extralegal penalty of exile. These are the old, bad tools of political aggression. Their purpose is to frighten, not me, but those who would come after me.

For decades the United States of America has been one of the strongest defenders of the human right to seek asylum. Sadly, this right, laid out and voted for by the U.S. in Article 14 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, is now being rejected by the current government of my country. The Obama administration has now adopted the strategy of using citizenship as a weapon. Although I am convicted of nothing, it has unilaterally revoked my passport, leaving me a stateless person. Without any judicial order, the administration now seeks to stop me exercising a basic right. A right that belongs to everybody. The right to seek asylum.

In the end the Obama administration is not afraid of whistleblowers like me, Bradley Manning or Thomas Drake. We are stateless, imprisoned, or powerless. No, the Obama administration is afraid of you. It is afraid of an informed, angry public demanding the constitutional government it was promised — and it should be.

I am unbowed in my convictions and impressed at the efforts taken by so many.


—Edward Joseph Snowden makes a statement


If you are worried about the US spying on you, you need to stop using Google and Facebook.


Anonymous high ranking security German official


How PRISM Easily Gives Your Private Data Over to Big Brother

Indians debate about India's reaction to the PRISM scandal

Butthurt over President Morales skyjacking

Edward Snowden plans on settling in Russia and find work

The British government works to censor new leaks

How the NSA is spreading digital AIDs

A good interview hosted by Ron Paul


Edward Snowden

The ass that muhammed and his buddies are going to enjoy in Gitmo.

Nuvola apps xmag.png Moar info: Edward Snowden.

As with all leaks, there is always a leaker. In this case, Edward Snowden, a high school dropout who broke both his legs at bootcamp, is behind the leaks that have single handedly destroyed what remained of America's soft power since George W. Bush let Isrealis blow up the World Trade Center buildings 1, 2, and 7. The realization that a high school drop-out has utterly demolished an administration full of Ivy League bureaucrats' credibility is another way that Ayn Rand's dystopian nightmare is coming true.

The Consequences of the NSA spying on everyone for the United States

Besides the complete ruination of the United States' soft power and credibility, there are numerous other ways that the NSA has fucked up everything for the United States by spying on everyone in the world. Technically, non-Americans are fair game for NSA spying because the 4th amendment doesn't protect them, still, in democratic regimes, having your government turn over surveillance information to foreigners tends to piss people off. In more important matters, the NSA has destroyed Silicon Valley by destroying credibility in their software, hence why Silicon Valley Giants are super concerned about their future in business. One year ago, it would be inconceivable that any other nation could challenge the United States in its monopoly on software, but now because of the PRISM scandal, there is no reason for start ups in BRICs or Next Eleven countries not to seriously challenge the United States with start-ups. Brazil just opened a tech startup office in San Francisco to hire American talent. Given the Brazilian success stories of Vale Mining and Embraer, Silicon Valley is likely to have a serious challenge to their monopoly. In terms of corporate espionage, the United States can no longer accuse China of stealing corporate espionage due to this certainly happened with the PRISM software. Of course, the private citizenry with 300+ million firearms have one more reason to be butthurt about Obama and the government. And who knows what else this PRISM saga will bring? Well besides more delicious drama.


See also

External links

Portal truth.png

PRISM is part of a series on


Visit the Truth Portal for complete coverage.

Featured article August 29 & 30, 2013
Preceded by
Bubblegum Husky
PRISM Succeeded by
League of Legends