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Notepad is part of a series on Programming.

[2 L337 4 MEEnter the Matrix]

Notepad is the name of the free text-editor that comes bundled with Windows; as with all things Microsoft, it is complete and utter shit and should be avoided like the plague.



Notepad is so goddamn fucking fantastic! It has advanced functions like saving, loading, help topics (lol, srsly), and most importantly, quitting (which is the only useful feature). It also has a lulzy function called Time/Date in any case you would be too lazy to look at the bottom-right corner of your screen. Other groundbreaking features include one font at a time, no OLE, no formatting, no spell check, and a serious lack of pr0n. All of this adds up to lulz on Microsoft.


The advantages of Notepad are limited to two things. First it takes up so little RAM that you could run it on your mom's computer, which means you can keep it open alongside MSN, Photoshop, Half Life 2 and the apocalypse. Although Notepad doesn't have them fancy features like them city folks' word processors, it does have replace (Ctrl-H) which is useful for mindless repetitive tasks such as converting all the moves in list of sex moves to headings or dot points from whatever it currently is, or changing all links to your e-nemy's user page on a talk page to link to asshole.

The Code

The code for Notepad can be likened to injecting yourself with liquid shit - it is messy, disgusting and will sure as hell kill you.


If one opens Notepad, which isn't too hard to do, and types in "Bush hid the facts" (w/out the quotes}, saves it (doesn't matter what the document name is), closes the program, and opens the document again, the sentence you typed will be gone. Depending on what version you have, it will either show as boxes " 畂桳栠摩琠敨映捡獴 " with Japanese Chinese Laotian characters installed (which roughly translates to Liubenrenmo Tiantouyingjian Mongoose) or nothing at all. SO DOES THIS MEAN THAT HE HID THE FACTS?

Notepad Fevotees

There are three kinds of people who use Notepad:

  • People who want a word processor, don't have the money to buy Word, are too stupid to pirate Word, don't have enough tubes to download LibreOffice and haven't figured out that Windows is bundled with a less shitty word processor, WordPad.

  • Programmers who haven't yet discovered things like Notepad++. They realize that Notepad is a text editor not a word processor. They would rather not have a red squiggly line appear every time they type cout << "stfu noob";, and they'd like to actually have their code compile when they don't have an IDE available. (Just try compiling code written in MS Word.)

  • People who give no shits about what they are using, but quickly want some sort of document saved with quick jots of information that don't need over 9000 different filters/effects on them to read a dozen or so words, if even that many. These people may also be in the process of writing a wiki article and want quick references to information rather then a program that has more options then it does practicality.
  • Script Kiddies Who use it to code shit-ass batch files and other useless shit. Only one guy from Northern Belgium made good batch programs. He is now dead and used Notepad++

About as good as it ever gets...

See Also

Microsoft.png Notepad
is part of a series on




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