Nick Griffin

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My British ethnicity is being covered with eggs!
There was an old man called nick,

He's an overweight fat racist prick,

His wife's a fat donkey

His eye's a bit wonky

And everyone thinks he's a dick.


Bonnie Greer does not agree with Nick Griffin's faggotry.

Nicholas John "Nig-Nog" Griffin (born 1st of Krystalnacht, 1959) is a Mulatto[1] politician and philanthropist who is Shadow Foreign Minister for the UK Conservative Party, the BNP. Nig-Nog was born in Pakistan, the illegitimate offspring of an wog prostitute and Enoch Powell. Whore money was used to buy him a place in Cambridge University where the then new science of plastic surgery was used to give him a pasty complexion and the jowels[2] of his political hero, Winston "Hissy Fit" Churchill.

Nig-Nog first came to the public attention in 1982 when he stood up at the Conservative Party Conference and condemned the BBC for the use of naked black tits in the series Smiley's People, arguing that people darker than "tope" on the NIS Scale of Skin Color Darkness should get on their (stolen) bikes and cycle back where they came from.

Nick presently lives in Wales with his fat wife and two rottweilers called Anne and Frank. No, srsly.[3]

Nig-Nog quotes (edited to remove jokes)

Nig Griffin's "dusky" mother
Nig Griffin's Fuhrer leader.

We cannot drop democracy from 10,000 feet [4].


We should work patiently and steadfastly to advance liberal values wherever we can to build the characteristics of a totally white society [5].


I think it is outrageous that fascists persecute those who deny Global Warming [6].


I fundamentally disagree with Gordon Brown's "Deutschland Uber Alles" policy on Europe [7].


London is crowded at rush hour because of Sikhs... so send Sikhs "home" [8].


Potatoes macht fries[9].


Political heroes

The phrenology of Nig

During the 1930s, Belgian colonial authorities in Rwanda used phrenology to explain the superiority of Tutsis over Hutus. Cranial shape was assumed by many to be a direct measure of racial affinity, such races being seen as fixed biological units. In Nazi Germany such measures as the cephalic index (how broad a skull is) and Jew were used to categorize people, and to define the Jewish population and degrees of Jewish admixture. So what do Nig's lady lumps say about him?

Phrenology analysis from the UK Centre for Policy Studies; note facial similarites with BWAAAA! bunny, indicating Aryan leadership qualities.

A Nick Griffin Nativity

This festive season, why not join lovable poppy-out-eyed Nazi, Nick Griffin, by the fireside (which may or may not be used to burn ethnic minorities) as he tells you a half-remembered story about a pair of Jewish asylum seekers taking shelter in a stable that randomly alternates between being lovely and warm and cold and draughty.

With a special guest appearance from Nick's cat, who seems embarrassed to be there.

Merry Christmas and many happy returns-to-where-you-fucking-came-from.

See also

Nick Griffin
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