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Aspergerbenice.gif This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(

Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

Absolute bullshit, especially the bit about thinking men cannot be raped. You do not seem to understand people can change. Yo0u just used an stupid opinion from TWO YEARS ago to try to insult me further. Oh well, at least it's not as long as some others.


—NaokoElric, Responding to this article, just before hiding the comment linking to it.

The cover girl of Cockeyed bonebag magazine.

There is no shortage of feminists, there are damn sure plenty of batshit feminists, but there aren't many women who are so deluded as to transcend these petty descriptors. Cue NaokoElric2250 (AKA Rikku2250 and referred to by friends as Jade Greer). Living in Blochairn, Glasgow and talentless even by DeviantArt standards, "Naoko" is the result of an unplanned pregnancy by her slut mother and deadbeat dad who ran away before she was born, dodging the bullet of a malformed freak-baby and simultaneously leaving Jade with severe daddy issues that explain why she's the way she is now. Yes, Jade is a grrl on a mission: use insanity as the ultimate weapon in her futile struggle to achieve social justice... at least, what she believes to be social justice.

Belief System

Elliot Selfie (25).jpg

The subject of this article is a virgin with rage.

Naoko and feminism

If you thought you knew what a true feminist was, then chances are you're a slutty, wretched, brainwashed retard. Despite the fact the world regards feminists as women who fight for equal rights for men and women, this enlightened freedom-fighter knows for a fact the rest of the entire world is totally wrong. And now you're probably asking yourself, "What can I do to enlighten myself and live as a superior, stronger, intellectual being?" You can start by reading this handy list of all of the facts you've been brainwashed into opposing!

  1. Nonvirgins cannot be raped. They gave up their consent when they gave up their body to their first partner. Note: This only applies to women.
  2. All lesbians are bisexual since one lesbian has to serve as the man by being the penetrator. No. There is no such thing as clitoral stimulation.
  3. Men do not use women. Women allow themselves to be used, but remember that nobody is doing the using.
  4. Excluding men from the decision to abort is oppression and makes the woman a selfish bitch since all pregnancies are intentional. All of them.
  5. Engaging in recreation sex for pleasure or bonding is unhealthy and makes you a weak person. If you are a woman.
  6. Women do not enjoy sex, they are only brainwashed into thinking that they are enjoying it, like the placebo effect. Women who enjoy sex are only slaves to men.
  7. If you are a woman who wants and enjoys sex, you have daddy issues and you need to seek a therapist or go to a mental institution.
  8. If you have masturbated or tongue-kissed, you are not a virgin.
  9. If you are a rape victim and have phobias revolving around being raped again, you, first of all, aren't a virgin and cannot be raped, and second of all, it's not a fear because you want it and that's why you are thinking about it.
  10. Sex, unless for procreation, is only violation and defiling. Love and Sex do not coexist unless during procreation.
  11. If one phallic object is okay to enter a woman, then all are. Consenting to one man/object is consent to all men/objects.
  12. Women who have sex for pleasure are oppressed.
  13. Women who have had sex are not capable of fighting effectively and are only capable of hair-pulling and scratching as they are too busy thinking about sex (as they always are 24/7) to fight effectively.
  14. Sex is self-destructive and disgusting. If you are a woman.
  15. You are only equal to men if you do not submit yourself to them by having sex. If you are a woman who has had sex, your body belongs to the man who had sex with and he assumes all control over it. All. Control.
  16. Men cannot be sexually abused by women. Men do not feel the agony women do and therefore cannot be raped.
  17. Non-virgins are worthless, violated pieces of shit. End Of.
  18. No sane woman would ever degrade her entire gender with non-procreative sex.
  19. If you are a woman and you enjoy non-reproductive sex you are filthy, weak, unintelligent, self-hating, self-disrespecting, undignified, dishonourable, self-oppressing, man-pleasing and a living sex doll.
  20. Because of physical difference, only men can be cheated on. If a woman had sex or used a dildo before entering a relationship, she has cheated on her partner and he, therefore, is okay to have sex with another women.
  21. Penises are disgusting because they flap around and stick-up.
  22. If a woman's ultimate goal in life is to marry then she is sullying the name of women everywhere and needs to go back to the '50s
  23. You cannot wash semen and germs from a penis or a vagina. They are on there forever and are always covered in semen and germs.
  24. The rape victim is always at least partially responsible for her rape.
  25. Slut shaming is not an issue as sluts spread germs and disease, ruin romance and waste resources. Virgin shaming on the other hand, is a terrible and rampant problem.

Naoko's opinions regarding various subjects are simply too extremist and inconsistent to conform to anything previously known to man. At the buffet of philosophy, she has amassed a twisted and odious amalgam of factoids to suit her particular and most peculiar worldview. Thankfully she has the power of hilariously poor grammar at her disposal to assist her in her quest to kill all sluts and protect her hymen.


Consensual intercourse is an abomination unto Jade. Woe betide any woman foolish enough to desire the dick, for the act of penetration is the most brutal display of dominance and irreparable oppression that any woman can or ever will suffer. Homosex is great, except for the fact that the only legitimate use of sex is to reproduce... so I guess homosex is right out, then. Procreation must be done away with as well, because it all leads back to vile, despicable, inhuman, oppressive penetration. Thusly shall the ring of logic forever turn.


The rape of a virgin female is an unforgivable atrocity. As for anyone else... well, get fucked. A non-virgin female can never be raped, as she has already consented. It doesn't matter when, where, with whom, or under what circumstances, once is more than enough to last all eternity. Honestly, if a woman has already debased and oppressed herself with cock in the past, what's one more going to hurt? Naturally, men cannot be raped. Never. It simply isn't possible for any man for feel the agony that a virgin female feels when raped. That's probably because forced buttsex is one of the most joyous sensations that a human can hope to achieve.


Jade Greer is apparently more intelligent than ALL her peers. Her knowledge regarding society and sex far surpasses everyone else, including people who study the subject professionally and have degrees specializing in them. She is also the ONLY person in the WHOLE WORLD who understands the concepts of 'consent' and 'hypocrisy', according to her own words.

Below is how she interprets what OTHER people think of her, and of course, why she considers them to be wrong.

  • I am SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair, and wear a skirt (It's actually called a kilt). - Yes, everyone thinks that.
  • I am GLASWEGIAN, so I MUST be a NED, drink “buckfast“, wear tracksuits and trainers all the time and speak in slang. - I think her cultural view is a little narrow.
  • I am SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. - LOL
  • I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch. - Yes you are a bitch.
  • I am RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. - Yes you do shove beliefs down peoples' throats.
  • I am a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend. - Only white women do that.
  • I HAVE MOSTLY MALE FRIENDS, so I MUST be sleeping with them all them. - God knows none of them would want to sleep with you.
  • I am a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly…or crazy. - Both, yes.
  • I dislike the BRITISH ARMY, so I MUST be a terrorist. - The British have an army?
  • I support the SNP, so I MUST hate the English/British (I only hate the racists, members of the EDL, and the Royal Family). - Sure, why not.
  • I wear GLASSES so I MUST be a geek (I can be one sometimes, though). - Then why contest it?!
  • I am BISEXUAL so I MUST think every girl I see is hot. - You are ASEXUAL not BISEXUAL, note the term 'sex'
  • I am a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat. - In addition to being anorexic, people apparently assume she's fat.
  • I am SINGLE so I MUST be ugly. - Back to the 'ugly' thing.
  • I am a (LAPSED) CATHLOC so I MUST hate homosexuals. - I think catholic priests would know otherwise.
  • I am WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I am black. - There's black people in Scotland?
  • I have a few REALLY CLOSE FRIENDS, so we MUST be lesbians. - Yes, everyone thinks people fuck their close friends.
  • I do not BELIEVE IN SEXUAL INTERCOURSE BEFORE MARRIAGE, so I MUST be a religious nut. - Uuuh. Yeah?
  • I am a VIRGIN, so I JUDGE everyone that is not. - YOU DO THAT THOUGH.
  • I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone. - I don't even comprehend this one.
  • I SCOLD others so I MUST be an over-controlling bitch. - Yes that is what that means.
  • My hair becomes GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills. - Yes, that IS what that MEANS.
  • I am DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch. - DO YOU SEE A PATTERN HERE?
  • I am INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak. - You aren't intelligent, just weak.
  • I am a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. - BUT YOU DO THAT THOUGH.
  • I am a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE. - Bwuuuh?!
  • I have a DISABILITY, so I MUST be on benefits. - Who gives a shit?
  • I DISAGREE WITH/DISLIKE/HATE my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST. - I don't think you live in the US so no one cares.
  • I am a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED. - You just labeled yourself a person, QED.
  • I like COMPUTER GAMES, MANGA and ANIME, so I MUST be childish. - Just a weeb.
  • I do not want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. - What is with your obsession with lesbians?
  • I cannot help pointing out MISTAKES so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist. - Again, that IS what that means.
  • I am NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser. - Just because you happen to be a loser doesn't mean that's why.
  • I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER. - Yes, no one reads but you, special snowflake.
  • I love YURI so I must be homosexual. - AGAIN WITH THE LESBIANISM.

Her FanFiction

Apparently, she finds the time to write fanfiction between bouts of pretending to be the world's most autistic despot. That is, of course, if one is to understand that "write" is a code word for "shit on a keyboard." Her masterfully created work has EXACTLY the same plot as the original Full Metal Alchemist manga, but with the crucial and ever relevant twist of gender bending. No, seriously. She liked FMA but she hates men so her solution was to, in brilliantly autistic fashion, write a transcript of the entire plot of the manga, word for word, only change everyone's gender. The only real difference seems to be that this rendition would appear to have been created by a dyslexic chimp who has somehow come into possession of a typewriter.

Naoko on EDF2

The White Knight approacheth.

At one point someone made a thread regarding this four-eyed, yet blind autistic on the the Encyclopedia Dramatica Forums. Finding this she made the regrettable choice of coming to confront them. Her plan was to show her superior intelligence using typos, how not mad she is using walls of text and calling the EDiots on the forum sad losers. However, her initial act of superiority did not last long and became even less convincing when she began deleting comments from her profile page, threatening to get one of the moderators banned for spamming her and perpetually rage-quitting and returning to the forum.

More lulz where had when some of her dox were pulled and she began screaming that everyone on the forum is a stalker and that they have made an entire forum about her. This is obviously not true and what they had actually made was a thread. But Naoko does not let basic english get in her way and when she sees this article she will probably claim that we have made an entire wiki about her. But the comedy did not end there and she soon informed us that she is calling the police, much to the indifference of everyone.

The Boyfriend

Homer Simpson bow tie.jpg Nobody has heard of this person, but whoever they are, vandalizing this article only makes us want to learn more...

You may be right I may not have alot of options.


—Her boyfriend, On why he's with her.

Note: this is an article about an Encyclopedia Dramatica user. For more information, please see the appropriate user page. To leave this user a message, please visit their talk page.
Their relationship in a nutshell... Real picture.

After being smacked around on the forum for a while, Naoko couldn't take it anymore and yet somehow didn't realize that she can just leave. What was her solution? To call her boyfriend. Yes, despite repeatedly stating that she is a strong, independent women and she does not need, nor will she EVER ask a man for help, she ran to her boyfriend (Matt Granger) to come fight her battles for her (and this is not the only site where she has done this) ON HIS FUCKING BIRTHDAY! This sad excuse for a man named "Maximothe1" (Real name: Matt Granger) appeared on the thread and displayed a hilarious inability to use both basic grammar or any punctuation whatsoever. All his replies consisted of homogeneous walls of text, uninterrupted by any commas or periods to separate them into distinct phrases, sentences and ideas.

However, the idea of being this person's insignificant other is in itself is so depressing that, as retarded as he may have been, everyone on the forum secretly felt sorry for the poor loser who the only girlfriend he could ever get is a deformed, borderline retarded psycho who hates men and will never be in the same room with him wearing less than three layers of clothes and a chastity belt, and he can forget even thinking of her ever touching his penis. And what does he get for his efforts? Her continual mistreatment, demands that he proof-reads her awful fanfiction and spends his birthday defending her on the internet (despite his repeated attempts to get her to stop feeding the trolls) and blue balls the size of mars.

And so, the pathetic, chubby loser must forever resolve himself to trying to sneak a peek at her in the shower and later masturbating under the covers while she sleeps next to him while sticking his hand down her pants, crying softly to himself and praying to God she doesn't wake up.

Regardless of any pity they might have felt, it was still not enough to get the EDiots to back off. And, being that his brilliant plan was to deflect the attention from his pet retard to himself had worked a little too well, maximothe1 soon cracked under the pressure and began erupting in displays of massive butthurt. These displays were then captured and converted into dramatic readings for the lulz. Finally, the horrific ordeal ended with both of them vowing to leave EDF2 and never return, while secretly still obsessively watching the thread until the next time Naoko rears her ugly head once more (like she has for the past 20 times she has rage-quit the thread).

Mere days after this article's creation, he tried (and failed) to remove it; he can't even blank properly. Surely, the future holds great wonders for him.

{{#widget:SoundCloud |id=120020199 |width=100% }}

Dramatic reading of Maximothe1's first reply

just shut up about this i was brought into this when you lot said i pitted her you lot brought me into this when you take my feeling for her and disregard them you may be right i may not have alot of options but i dont want anyone but her especially no one from here im not following her views on the world i have my own and its based on logic and in honesty i dont see why this exists i mean when shes not here you all turn on each other thats what i dont get you no longer use this thread for it intended purpose you only use it to hate anyone that speaks up against you and that dosent make any sense to me ... bunch of dicks

blah blah blah blah blah so much hate from very sad people you shits just want someone to hate and i get that i do that as well if im with my friends theirs one we all dont like (its not her ) and keep them around so we can hate them and be better friends because of it i mean why do humans do that ow well sad people doing sad things on a sad little site you think i care what you lot say about me HA do your worst like i care what worthless people say no im good not putting in any punctuations im not going to give u lot my level of respect to do proper grammar when i type blah blah blah man you lot are a bunch of jessies 0 thats how much i care for any of this or what your saying but ill give you props for guessing that yh i dont read more that 3 sentances as i get the gist of whats about to be said by them ... fuck you fuck the lot of yas oh trust me shes the only one i would touch with a thousand foot pole on this site since everyone else discusts me when will people grow up on the internet and stop being a dick yh see im not going to stop doing this kills a couple of minutes in my day i usually use to do nothing congratz you people are a fraction more entertaining than nothing but still less entertaining than watching paint dry id do that instead but unfortunately i havent painted anything recentley hey maybe if you where smart enough youd relise when you get to a point that dosent amke sense maybe you should put in your own punctuation yh im not her it takes alot to make me mad this tread not even the slightest bit of anger


{{#widget:SoundCloud |id=120626889 |width=100% }}

Dramatic reading of Maximothe1's second reply

see this is what i mean she hasent been on this site and yet your still trying to torment her how sad does your pathetic lifes have to be inorder to do something like this i mean what the fuck is up you all have none of you got ANYTHING better in your life buuuuuuuuuuuuut then agien who do i think im talking to your all a bunch of dickless wannabes that can only get a hard on from talking about r.ape but then agien this is all you saddos have in your lifes ah well BACK TO BREAKING BAD (ps i dont give a fuck about spoilers spoil game of thrones for me SEE if i give a shit)

Ok i'm done, finished, kaput, finety, this stops now. Heres what i was hoping to do, I planned to have jade just dissapear, never come back here. I would then just post nonsense like i have, get EVERYONE after me ( mainly because i don't care what total random stranger i will NEVER meet in my life) and then just go away. but as you can see that did not work. Now this is my last post you won't hear or see of me. leave Jade alone don't contact her don't look for her i'm SERIOUS you FUCKERS with all your threats about finding and raping her have her scared. Now if i hear anything about you lot ACTUALLY finding her i WILL phone the police fot stalking her. I'm NOT kidding, I'm NOT acting ,NOT taunting or ANY OTHER SHIT you fuckers think I'm doing. I came onto this site to give my girlfriend an out, i came here to make sure the woman i love no longer felt threatend. I came here so the girl i will happily spend the rest of my life with till the day i die didn't need to be alone on a site that showed nothing but HATE towards her. THAT is how you summoned me by MAKING this thread and getting a one of the strongest woman i know to ask for help, and i help any and all of my friends that ask for it. now you can all continue this i do not care just leave me and jade alone to live the life's we WANT to live instead of the one's YOU LOT think we should.THEIR SHIT HEADS HOWS MY PUNCTUATION CAN YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR LIFE UNDERSTAND ME NOW. NOW FUCK OFF!


Later, when the thread had gone way off-track, he returned with a new account to make one last assult in which he insuted ED, EDF2, his girlfriend and himself for some reason and gave us his powerword by using his real name as his username.


Don't fucking about my mother that way.


—Perfect grammar.

Don't talk shit about me or a family you do not fucking you, you lowlife scum!


—More perfect grammar... Wanna throw another few You's in there?

Maybe I should tell RNIB of your attitude and they can deal with you.


—Shes going to tell an organization of blind people on us... That's even more scary than the police!

And calling me 'autistic' is an insult to autism.


women do not have a sexuality


It’s a good thing you all live so far away, because if not…


— What would you do? Beat us to death with your walking cane?

if I were speaking with any of you on the street I would punch you right in the eye


— So you could be blind like me.

I am good in all writing aspects than that.


I bathe twice a week shower every day and wash my hands a lot. It comes with OCD, you know.


—Then why is your hair so fucking greasy?

shallow, lowly, lonesome bullies with mummy issues.


—"mummy issues" lol

People of the internet, you can know more than what has been by the subject. I was always more intelligent than my peers. I am always more intelligent than my peers.


Definition of Irony: Making grammar mistakes while bragging about how intelligent you are.

And I use the disabled toilets.


i have ADHD i do stuff for no reason all the time i bit a guys hand because i felt like it no reason


—Her boyfriend- Retard of the year

yyhjmnbvcsegb vcxsfjm,lb cdryj,? gv cxdyjk,lh cddhbfssdb nkoibvcde njyfdrh nvdseygv jjbcderghkih


—Her boyfriend, again.

I can say retarded, as I am disabled, like black peope with n*gger.


I have a boyfriend, as among other things, he likes that I am some wretched, boozing, smoking, drug-taking, sex-addicted whore.


—This quote is totally not out of context.

Again, just because I am some typical, boozing, drug-taking, sex-addicted Party Girl, does not mean I am 'sheltered'. God, people are so narrow.


— Nor is this one!

I am calling the police now, you sick, obsessive, stalking bastards.


no-one is ‘ugly’ or ‘pretty’ unless they are morbidly obess


—What the deformed freak tells herself to keep from crying about what her face looks like.

And WTF is this 'Special snowflake' shit that keeps popping up. Not once have I said I am 'special'. I am different. And don't say everyone is different because while most people think they are different, they are really just the same on the inside.


—She's not "Special". She's just the only one that's different.

You will never be right about me, as your lives are worthless and I am me. You are not.


Unlike most behaviours, through just watching TV (be it fiction or non-fiction) or walking on the street, you can tell a non-virgin. I'm not saying I pry into everyone's lifes like some creepy stalker, but I can tell just by looking at someone what they get up to. It's sad, really


stalking someone for MONTHS, trying to dig up PERSONAL INFOMATION about them and their family, threatening to find them, RAPE AND KILL THEM totally counts as 'e-bullying'. I've don't this shit before, and it worked. I'll gladly do it again.


—Rape and murder. Just another day on EDF2

WTF is USI? Some sexual thing?



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@Tom Preston

EDF2 Faggotry

@Bullet to the Head of the NRA
@Faggot of the Year
@George Zimmerman's Big Game Hunter
@The Clown Prince Rises

Forumlambda.png EDF6 Faggots

@Duke of Nimonia

EDF6 Faggotry

@Faggot of the Year @Rule 34 League