Mr. Saari

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This page contains an hero.
Matti Juhani Saari,
codename Wumpscut
Nationality: Finland  MiniflagFinland.png
Highscore Killed 10, injured 3 (1 of which nearly died)
Top 50? No (#1 in Finland)
Style Single player
An Hero? Yes
Motive: Autism, hatred for humanity, bullying (at least according to the Finnish media), simply for teh lulz
Hai guise!

This article is about the school shooter. For the Finnish porn star, see Henry Saari. THE FINNISHER: RELOADED

Matti Juhani Saari, is was a 22-year-old Finn who became an hero and the new Finnish champion on September 23rd, 2008, beating Pekka Eric Auvinen's Finnish record from 2007. Matti Saari (codename: Wumpscut) shot at least 10 unarmed girls at the School of Hospitality, a vocational college in Kauhajoki. Some old media first reported that he was still alive, but he managed to beat the game. He is considered to be the most famous Finn in over 9000 years, other than the Moomins.

Just like his idol Pekka Auvinen, he posted similar YouTube videos some days before. According to Finnish old media the local police had interrogated him on the nature of the videos just the day before but decided not to confiscate his weapon. JewTube deleted his videos a few hours after the shooting because people from a certain online community started viewing them.

He managed to get ten frags and three wounded, a new Finnish record! Original research showed that it was due to disappointment in the Olympics, unfortunately, school shooting is a national American Sport, not an Olympic sport. Some argue that Matti was inspired by two Finnish Olympic heroes, shooting medalists Satu Mäkelä-Nummela and Henri Häkkinen. Other old media reports states 11 casualties, putting Matti Saari on the 7th place on the all time leaderboards. Bonus points go out for trying to burn down the school.

Mr. Saari has done his part in promoting the recognition of Finland throughout the world.
School BRB

YouTube Channel

Like all modern an heroes, Matti had a YouTube channel. A few days before the shooting he uploaded some videos of him shooting. The police interrogated him because of that, but decided he's the right kind of a guy to be carrying lethal weapons.

Joined: March 14, 2008
Last Sign In: 3 hours ago
Videos Watched: 3,774
Subscribers: 42
Channel Views: 66,410

Name: Mr. Saari
Age: 22
And suddenly there was war we didn't remember it
A long time forgotten there suddenly was war
And suddenly there was war our children are dead
Burnt in the ruins that were left by war


And suddenly there was war and the mothers they screamed
For revenge and reprisals for another war
And suddenly and suddenly
And suddenly there was war with spoiling and death
And you fight alone if there's another war

Whole life is war and whole life is pain
And you will fight alone in your personal war


This is war!
City: Kauhajoki
Country: Finland
Interests and Hobbies: Computers, guns, sex and beers.
Movies and Shows: Horror movies like Saw 1-3, The Grudge, The Shining etc.
Music: Eisbrecher, Scar Symmetry, Soilwork, :Wumpscut:, Gloria Morti, In Flames, Rammstein, Metallica, Kiuas, Turmion Kätilöt etc. 

Internet dating

Jewtube screencap

It seems like Matti Saari was trying to date online. He listed his interests as "computers" and drums. On his YouTube profile he listed computers, weapons, beer and sex as his interests. (There is no evidence that he ever had sex with anyone other than his mitten).

Google translation of his online dating profile:

wumpscut86 - 22 years old, Male, hometown Erode
The man Offline - the last on-line mode, 23.08.2008 22:54
Profile Photos Guest Book
Heipä hey!
Please contact your profile

Length 172 cm
Weight 70 kg
Eye color blue
Hair: Brown
Bodily structure Normal
Children No Children
I want children I do not
Marital status Single
Sexual orientation Hetero Sexual
Occupation Student
Commuting Students
ANNUAL 0-10 000 €
Ethnicity Suomalainen
Astrological Sign: bullfighting
Province of South Ostrobothnia
City or county Howick

Heipä hey!

Shooting (Walther P22 Target <3), computers and drums.
Musical taste
Mostly heavier music I listen, but everything goes.
Horror of horror.
Dress Code
I do not follow fashion

In an ideal partner
Female Sex
Age 16-25
Length 150-180 cm
Weight 50-85 kg
Children No Children
I want children I do not
Marital status Single
Sexual orientation Hetero Sexual
Province of South Ostrobothnia
City or county Howick

Evidence of being a retard

Last Thursday, the Finnish police have released a report titled "Laboratorioanalyysijatodisteidenpsyykkinenhäiriövuonnasaari" (the Finnish word for "Laboratory Analysis and Evidence of Mental Disorders in Mr. Saari"). In the report, Mr. Saari was deemed legally retarded; the reasons cited were:

  • Mr. Saari liked "Saw"
  • Mr. Saari liked "Saw II"
  • Mr. Saari liked "Saw III"
  • Mr. Saari was swedish

The fact that Mr. Saari did not mention liking "Saw IV" or "Saw V" was not considered mitigating evidence, as those films were made after 2005, and no movies reach Finland until 5 years after they opened in American theaters.


Me and my Walther P22 Target

You Will Die Next

A Tribute Video

News coverage that contains a bit of his walther p22 target video

a parody video

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count: 10/20 (11 Injured)
Accuracy: 18/20
Style: 15/20
Butthurt: 18/20
Bonus: 19/20
beat his fellow Finnish Friend's score.
Total score: 80/100 (B-)
Nothing special. Buried and forgotten.
See full ranking

Wanted Level:

Wantedstar.png Wantedstar.png Wantedstar.png



Vice Squad

See Also

External Links


Mr. Saari is part of a series on Education

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Mr. Saari is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againOpen the box]
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Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikCasey AnthonyGerry McCannCho Seung-HuiTyler PetersonMark EssexDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisMaurice ClemmonsAaron AlexisBruce Jeffrey PardoElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniJiverly VoongMalik Nadal HasanJared Lee LoughnerJeff WeiseJoe StackJosef FritzlJason RodriguezMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMatthew MurrayPekka-Eric AuvinenWade Michael PageTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiTim KretschmerTJ LaneRobert HawkinsRaoul MoatAlex Hribal

Career/Serial Killers:

Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer


Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin Laden

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality


Mr. Saari
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