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You see kids.... There is a very fine line you aren't suppose to cross when making fun of midgets... Also, that line is really low to the ground.


—Midget hater

These guys will kick your fucking ass.
Gary Coleman (left), official spokesmidget.
Midgets have been known to work as rodeo clowns.
File:Midgets Love The Ladies.jpg
Midgets love the ladies.
You know you want it.
Midgets hiding among 16 year old girls
Rule 34 would be meaningless without midgets.
A successful midget.
The midget disease spreads easily and quickly among attention whores
Television trickery!

Midget is the preferred nomenclature of the vertically retarded. For whatever bizzare reason, they prefer to be reffered to as "dwarves", but why in the fuck would you ever want to be called that? Dwarves are mythological creatures of short height; that sounds way more offensive than calling them "midgets", because it sounds like it's meant to imply that these midgets are mythological creatures that shouldn't exist, implying further that they're abominations; apparently Midgets are masochistic. A more lulzy nickname for these folks is "kickables".


Midgets don't tend to have a culture. They spend their time making really bad internets porn that is sent to you via email resulting in Anti-lulz. The "midget's" main occupations consist of being on TV or pushing trolleys around your local shopping center. Or you can buy them as pets over the black market/eBay. Some famous midgets include Jason "Wee Man" Acuna, that weird little Irish guy on WWE and Jackass. The Ewoks in Star Wars were played by midgets, as was R2-D2. It is also known that a midget did the voice of the gay car of Knight Rider. Sadly he passed away when the key broke in the lock and being a midget, no one really gave a shit (more Anti-lulz for midgets). And don't forget the really gross one in Big Brother, Australia who they leach off the government by saying they have a black person. They also get a TV show complaining about people paying out on them. A rare occurrence is an Azn midget which are rarely seen.

Midget culture is almost entirely made up of costume parties, alcoholism, drug addiction, and depression. No one hates themselves more than a midget does. They prefer only to come out at night, scurrying beneath the mundane's feet throughout the day as they make their way from porn studio to porn studio. Every midget knows at least three famous midgets: if you meet a midget, a good way to break the ice is to ask which famous midgets he or she has met at midget conventions. Midgets have many interesting career options. They can wrestle, be a bowling ball, be an actor or actress, be Wee Man, or collect a black person.

Video shorts

'A man with a short fuse
Armless Midget Rage
Martyred midgets get gypped in Paradise, too.
You're a Bigger Lover
Midget Fight
Midget Explains Magnets


Midgets have played an important role in American cinematography, serving as the butt of all jokes and ensuring adequate box office revenues for otherwise shitty movies. The Great Midget Uprising of '57 was put down by Dwight "Ike" Eisenhower with the famous line, "I'll stop laughing at midgets when midgets stop being so damned funny."

Midgets were also used in the Vietnam war to find mines, and to infiltrate the gook lines, due to their similar height and filthiness. This ceased only when butthurt liberal commies BAAAAAAAAAWED about them being used as semen receptacles when the Saigon whores pussies got too worn out and loose to do more than slosh noisily as they were stirred by mighty 'Merican cock.

The porn industry owes at least 75 percent of its yearly revenue to the hard work and dedication of the midget community. It is also believed famous midget, "Wee-man", saved MTV from almost certain bankruptcy after appearing on Jackass and allowing himself to be shot out of various cannons and slings. Construction of a memorial to his sacrifices is currently underway in Washington, D.C.


Midgets suffer from a physical condition called "cancer", as their hands are often bigger than their faces. Their torsos are hilariously longer than their legs, which provides comedy gold in running sequences as they can kick themselves in the head. They always smell of cabbage and have large penises, especially the females.

They also have a mental retardation called "pygmy" (aka: walking blow-job) which makes them aggressive towards tall people. There are many examples of short people in history who are aggressive because they are "walking blow-jobs". These people include:

Famous midgets

See also

External Links

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Midget is part of a series on Body and Health
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AssAssholeBallsBodybuildingBoobsBrainCameltoeClitorisCockCumFatFinger BoxGuntHand of ClodHand of DiosIron penisManginaMoobsNeckbeardPissPussyShitSkeletonVagoo

Diseases and Illnesses:

AcneAddictionAIDSAlzheimer'sBeing a GingerCancer (and The Cancer That Is Killing /b/) • Comcast diseaseCOVID-19DiabeetusDiseaseDSMDuckfaceDwarfismEbolaEpilepsyErectile dysfunctionETDFetal Alcohol SyndromeFibromyalgiaGenital HerpesGOTISGRIDS (see also The GRIDS that is killing ED) • Heart AttackHyperbolimiaIRC DiseaseObesityPandemicParkinson's DiseaseSame Face SyndromeSARSSexually Transmitted DiseasesSwine FluThin SkinUser Stress SyndromeVirusVomitingWikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases


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Midget is part of a series on Diseases and Disorders

AIDSCancerCoronavirusDiabeetusDwarfismErectile dysfunctionFetal Alcohol SyndromeFibromyalgiaGenital HerpesGRIDSObesityParkinson's DiseaseSexually Transmitted DiseasesSwine Flu


AgoraphobiaAnorexiaAntisocial personality disorderAnthropophobiaAsperger's SyndromeAttention deficit hyperactivity disorderBipolar disorderBody dysmorphic disorderBorderline personality disorderBug ChasersCarmen Electra complexChristianityChronic Troll SyndromeDepressionDyslexiaEating disordersEbola virusEpilepsyFauxlimiaGender dysphoriaHistrionic personality disorderHeterophiliaHomophiliaInconsistent personality disorderInsanityMental retardationMultiple personality disorderNarcissistic personality disorderObsessive-compulsive disorderParanoiaParanoid personality disorderParaphiliasPost-Traumatic Stress DisorderPrader-Willi SyndromePsychopathySchizophreniaSeasonal Affective DisorderSpecial Snowflake SyndromeVictim complex

Internet Diseases and Disorders:

Internet disease (see also Internet Disease Chart) • Internet troll personality disorderThe Cancer That Is Killing /b/The GRIDS that is killing ED