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Why futuristic robot sex isn't a good idea.jpg

Mechanophilia is a mental disorder of the type paraphilia described as a sexual attraction to inanimate objects (mainly machines, hence the name). It develops during the late anal period (5-7 years old) and is much more common among girls.

Diagnostic criteria


Everything has been tried - even real, live intercourse with a prostitute. It didn't help. Possible reasons of this revealed by a scientific study conducted at Kyodai include:

  • Artificial pussies/anuses are tighter than real human genitalia.
  • Dildos are more powerful/bigger than the genuine article.
  • Hitachi Lick-o-matic with Duracell batteries never wear out while real carpet munchers' tongues get tired pretty fast.
  • Most importantly, real sex requires the participants to experience some emotions, of which mecha are incapable.

The situation is not hopeless, however. Japanese and Koreans are already developing robots that have genitals mimicking that of humans, and mecha is lawful in most parts of the world.


Mechanophilia is treated very seriously in some jurisdictions. The United Kingdom is notable for having strict anti-mechanophilia laws in place, which means that anyone who... hang on...

Wikipedia mechanophilia undetected bullshit composite illus.jpg

... erm, actually it turns out that mechanophilia isn't a crime in the UK at all (as Wikipedia claims). But amazingly, it turns out that -- according to Wikipedia's own source -- behaving in a sexual way in public is a crime, the basic offense of "breaching the peace", whether you do it with a bicycle, a horse, an old sock, or just your hand. But since there was no way of spotting this incredibly subtle legal distinction, perhaps Wikipedia can be forgiven.

No, fuck that, if any of the pompous assholes who treat Wikipedia as their personal intellectual fiefdom had seen the above claim and thought about it for more than 10 fucking seconds they would have realised that their ludicrous idea would mean that vibrators would be outlawed and most British women would be in prison.

And it turns out that a few journalists didn't give it more than 10 seconds of thought either, and mindlessly cuntpasted this ridiculous factoid while performing journalistic research.

Read 'em and weep.

Hall of plagiarising shame


Famous mecha

See Also

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Mechanophilia is part of a series on


Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.

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Mechanophilia is part of a series on Psychology
Antisocial personality disorder Hannibal Lector.jpg Mental illness & Disorders

AcrotomophiliaAddictionAgoraphobiaAlcoholismAlexis Pilkington SyndromeAlzheimer'sAnorexiaAntisocial personality disorderAnthropophobiaAnxietyADDADHDAsperger's SyndromeAutismBimboficationBipolarBorderline personality disorderBug ChasingBulimiaCognitive dissonanceDeep thinkerDepressionDick ImpalementDown's SyndromeDyslexiaEating disorderFactitious disorderFake SchizophreniaFauxlimiaFeminismGender dysphoriaGirl on the Internet SyndromeHeterophobiaHero ComplexHFAHistrionic Personality DisorderHutchence's SyndromeHyperbolimiaInadequacyInconsistent personality disorderInsanityLiberal Butthurt SyndromeLiberalismLow Self-esteem'Missing White Woman' SyndromeMultiple personality disorderNapoleon ComplexNarcissistic personality disorderNeurotypicalObsessive Compulsive DisorderParanoiaParanoid personality disorderPeter Pan SyndromePost-Traumatic Stress DisorderPsychopathyRetardationSchizophreniaSeasonal Affective DisorderSelf-diagnosisSelf InjurySexsomniaSickfuckerySociopathySocial anxiety disorderSpecial Snowflake SyndromeTrolling Induced Transsexuality SyndromeTulpaUnrealistic expectationsVictim complex


AcrotomophiliaAquaphiliaArborphiliaAudiophiliaAutogynephiliaBalloon FetishBestialityCarmen Electra complexCross DressingDollfiliaEmetophiliaEmosexualityEproctophiliaFatty Fetish (Female Fat Admirer) • FetishismFoot FetishFurniture PornFurrismGoo girlGuroHeterophiliaHomophiliaInflation FetishJapanophiliaJungle FeverLesbian pedophiliaLotion PlayMacrophiliaMaiesiophiliaMechanophiliaMpregNecrophiliaObjectophiliaOedipial ComplexParaphiliaPedophiliaPlushophiliaPregnant LoliPregnophiliaQuicksand FetishRangerphiliaSpectrophiliaStatuephiliaTrichophiliaVoraphiliaWet and Messy FetishismWetlookXenophiliaYellow feverZoophilia


Chronic Troll SyndromeDeletionismE-goE-PsychiatristE-PsychiatryETDHivemindI-DosingI have a 140 IQIRC DiseaseImaginary girlfriendInternet Disease & Internet Disease ChartInternet poverty delusionsInternet RehabInternet troll personality disorderMega ultra super geniusNerdy Fandom Gateway TheorySex by associationLulz-BlindnessWikipedia's Greatest Hits Diseases


ask.fmBrainwashingHypnosisMilgram ExperimentScientologyStanford Prison ExperimentThe Hivemind Corollary


Above Top SecretB/Bodies Under SiegeCYOCChatrouletteDefense Industries

See also:

American Psychiatric AssociationAngerASMRChild abuseConscienceDreamsDSMElan SchoolEnlightenmentIntelligenceLobotomyMary BellPsychiatristySerial KillersTake the meat bridgeThe Law of ConformityTrigger Warning