Port Arthur massacre

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This page is about an attempted an hero.

You see if people didn't do these unfortunate things, you guys wouldn't have a job.


—Martin Bryant

Martin Bryant
Born May, 7, 1967
Nationality Ausfailia Australia
Highscore Killed 35, Injured 23
Style FPS, Single Player
An Hero No (Captured)
Status V& for 1,035 years


Martin Bryant chillin.jpg
Nanette Patricia Mikac, 36; Alannah Louise Mikac, 6; Madeline Grace Mikac, 3. Only Walter Mikac, 34, remains alive today.

The Port Arthur massacre is Ausfailia's staged, lame-ass version of 9/11, perpetrated by Martin Bryant on the 28th of April, 1996. Bryant traveled around the small, secluded shithole known as Port Arthur and gunned down every bogan who was out hunting for kangaroo roadkill that morning; scoring 35 frags and wounding 24 more n00bs (including himself when he "accidentally" set himself on fire trying to escape from the pigs). Bryant created eternal lulz that day, forever changing a community that was never a likeable place to begin with.

Being the only large-scale mass shooting in Ausfailia, it has produced more conspiracy theories than 9/11, JFK, the Iraq wars and Elvis Presley combined, although none of these have made it to the reliable fact center known as Wikipedia, because Wikipedos would rather flood RC with pointless articles on random shit 99% of people will never care about.

About Martin Bryant who ASIO says did PA

Aspergerbenice.gif This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(

Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.

Martin Bryant was the man who remained at #1 rank on the High Score list for 15 years, until Norway got pwn'd by bombs and guns and shit in 2011. Here are some facts about this blonde-haired fuckwit that you should know:

  • He had an IQ of 66, putting him at an impressively low 1.17th percentile. While still able to function independently in society, he received the nickname "Stupid Marty".
  • Made lewd comments to almost any female. Loved pr0n and was obsessed with bestiality. Frequently hired prostitutes all the while staying in a relationship with some dozy cunt of a girlfriend.
  • Enjoyed violent films, his favorite being Child's Play II (can we all take a moment to appreciate just how 'great' this film is?).
  • Inherited approximately $500,000 after the suicide of his father and the death of Helen Harvey, killed in a convenient car accident with Marty in the back seat.
  • Had no significant firearms experience, but owned 200 teddy bears: further proof that furries are gun-toting psychopathic time bombs waiting to detonate.
  • The Port Arthur Massacre sparked gun reform in Australia, though none was really needed. Tasmania in particular, where this massacre occurred, sported a very low murder rate, in which guns involved only a fraction. There hasn't been a mass shooting in the whole of Oceania involving over 10 kills since.
  • A New South Wales police report indicates that 29 shots were fired at the Broad Arrow, 19 ending as fatal head shots, 1 other fatal shot, and 12 wounded. In about 90 seconds. Some argue that an inexperienced aspie could not fire with such accuracy, but the Australian Federal Police are fucking Jew and should not be trusted.
  • Bryant's AR-15 was found with an exploded cartridge in the chamber, exploded with a force not normally seen for a bullet of this calibre. If this had occurred while the weapon was being held, severe injury would have resulted to the operator - amputation, burns, firearms discharge residue or other unspeakably horrific outcomes. At time of arrest, Bryant was burned from the fire at Seascape Cottage, but his hands were uninjured. It's impossible that the cartridge exploded due to the gun being in a house that was on fire because anybody who has played Call of Duty has noticed that fire does not harm bullets.
  • Has made four SIX suicide attempts while in prison, and he will probably never become An Hero.
  • Currently enjoying a healthy sex life at Risdon Prison.
  • Lyndon LaRouche publication EIR asserts that Bryant was a "patsy" brainwashed by the Tavistock Institute.
  • Had a pretty awesome dressing style and unique aesthetic.


  • 7 May 1967 Martin Bryant born.
  • 1984 Severely burned in fireworks accident, requiring weeks of hospitalization.
  • Dec 1987 "There will never be uniform gun laws in Australia until there is a massacre in Tasmania." Barry Unsworth, New South Wales Labour Premiere, spoken at a special meeting in Hobart. Reported by the Sun Herald edition of 5 May 1996.
  • 16 Aug 1993 Father, Maurice Bryant, commits suicide at family farm, Copping. Maurice weighted himself with his son's diving weights and submerged himself.
  • 9 Mar 1994 Drysdale's firearm is destroyed by the Australian government, according to records.
  • 1995 Loses his luggage at the airport. Police recover the luggage and return it to him, minus four seized bestiality videos.
  • 28 Apr 1996 After openly lamenting the dearth of Japanese tourists, Martin Bryant opens fire with an AR-15 (serial number SP128807) at the Broad Arrow Cafe in Port Arthur, Tasmania, killing 35 and wounding 18.
  • 28 Apr 1996 At 8PM, police take Carleen Bryant, Martin's mother, to police headquarters.
  • 29 Apr 1996 Bryant surrenders to police, with his clothes on fire.
  • 23 Jun 1996 Report on the front page of Australia's Sunday Telegraph indicates that the AR-15 used is a gun that was turned into the Victoria government by collector Bill Drysdale in February 1993, during an amnesty. He was compensated AU$1700 for the firearm.
  • 4 Jul 1996 Police interrogation:


POLICE: Did you ever practice shooting from the hip?

BRYANT: No Never.

POLICE: Did you get pretty accurate?

BRYANT: No Not really.


—Bryant, making up bullshit

  • 30 Sep 1996 Bryant pleads not guilty to 72 counts.
  • 7 Nov 1996 Trial begins.
  • 22 Dec 2000 Stabbing attack on Bryant at Risdon Prison. This is described as a suicide attempt.
  • 5 Jul 2003 Another inmate sprays cleaning solution in Bryant's eyes. He is evacuated to Royal Hobart Hospital for treatment.


  • A 1/2 hr. before the incident, the area's two policemen receive an anonymous call on a drug stash, and drive 25 miles to Saltwater River.
  • Police initially reported that there were two gunmen at Seascape.
  • The massacre and the shooter had a military appearance. The shooter did 20 head shots in a short time, shooting from the hip - he reloaded his second magazine with one round left.
  • The recovered guns were an American AR-15 and a Belgian FN-FAL, both of which had sustained significant, inexplicable damage to barrels, breech, and receiver that rendered them impossible to match with the weapons used in the shooting.
  • Witnesses couldn't identify the shooter, because no one fucking cared about him.
  • Jim Laycock, co-owner of the Port Arthur Motel, knew Bryant for 15 years and said it wasn't him.

Bryant's recent appearance in Australian media

As of March 6th 2016, Australia's 7 Network programme 'Sunday Night' publicly released the police interview tapes recorded during Bryant's conviction, ordinarily withheld due to the extreme suppression orders that were created during the time of the incident.

Despite Bryant's conviction paving way for the extreme media suppression that would follow, in late 2015 reporters from the Herald Sun decided to camp out on a hill for several hours to catch Bryant in all his glamour and beauty from over 19 years incarcerated. Rather than Bryant being in solitary confinement as the Australian media initially publicised, it actually turned out that Bryant was just chilling out with all the other inmates and finally had a cell-mate that he could talk to (so I guess everything turned out for the best for Marty). The cell-mate confirmed how much of an aspie Bryant really was to journalists and that Bryant would give 'sexual favours' in exchange for chocolate bars. Subsequently from all those gobbies and chocolate bars, Bryant became incredibly fat and has little to no resemblance to the dashing, long-haired crusader he was originally known to be.


Police Interview Tapes

Even more recently, (March 2016) Bryant's police interview tapes [1] were released to mark the 20th anniversary event that put Australia on the map. The tapes just go to show how Martin is a pretty cool guy who just wanted to give police something to do, hence why they were suppressed so long. Bryant states that: "you see if people didn't do these unfortunate things, you guys [the police] wouldn't have a job" Police: Well there's a lot of truth in that Martin, let me tell you". For an impressively stupid aspie, he isn't wrong.

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count: 35/20 (23 Injured)
Accuracy: 12/20 35 killed, 23 injured.
Style: 16/20 Killing spree
Butthurt: 20/20 Ausfailia's ultimate mass shooting.
Bonus: 20/20 Managed to set himself on fire in the process.
Total score: 103/100 (S)
20 years later and still no one can beat this guy.
^ Lol Anders Breivik
See full ranking

Wanted Level:

Wantedstar.png Wantedstar.png Wantedstar.png Wantedstar.png Wantedstar.png


National Guard

Pwned by Martin Bryant

  • Winifred Joyce Aplin, 58
  • Walter John Bennett, 66
  • Nicole Louise Burgess, 17
  • Sou Leng Chung, 32
  • Elva Rhonda Gaylard, 48
  • Zoe Anne Hall, 28
  • Elizabeth Jayne Howard, 26
  • Mary Elizabeth Howard, 57
  • Mervyn John Howard, 55
  • Ronald Noel Jary, 71
  • Tony Vadivelu Kistan, 51
  • Leslie Dennis Lever, 53
  • Sarah Kate Loughton, 15 Pedo bear too old.png
  • David Martin, 72
  • Noelene Joyce Martin, 69
  • Pauline Virjeana Masters, 49
  • Alannah Louise Mikac, 6 Pedobear mourning small.png
  • Madeline Grace Mikac, 3 Pedobear mourning small.png
  • Nanette Patricia Mikac, 36
  • Andrew Bruce Mills, 49
  • Peter Brenton Nash, 32
  • Gwenda Joan Neander, 67
  • Moh Yee Willing Ng, 48
  • Anthony Nightingale, 44
  • Mary Rose Nixon, 60
  • Glen Roy Pears, 35
  • Russell James Pollard, 72
  • Janette Kathleen Quin, 50
  • Helene Maria Salzmann, 50
  • Robert Graham Salzmann, 58
  • Kate Elizabeth Scott, 21
  • Kevin Vincent Sharp, 68
  • Raymond John Sharp, 67
  • Royce William Thompson, 59
  • Jason Bernard Winter, 29
Sarah Kate Loughton, 15 years old at the time of the shooting.

Mossad gun-destroying technique

  1. Put a hot load explosive round into the AR-15, which blows up the barrel, bolt, firing pin, extractor, and riflings. This is often used when professionals want to destroy ballistic evidence.
  2. Basically you take an empty cartridge, take a hotter powder, and fill it to the brim (lulz). The cartridge is too much for the gun; it explodes and wrecks the mechanisms.
  3. ??????????
  4. PROFIT!!1!

Did Bryant have the reloading equipment needed?

Or it could just be that if you leave a loaded gun in a burning house the round inside might explode!?!

How to troll a Tasmanian


Q: What do Port Arthur and Antarctica have in common?
A: Both are minus 35.

Q: What's the fastest way to get to Antarctica?
A: Shoot through Port Arthur.

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External links

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Ranked Mode (Single Player)

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCharles Whitman's TumorCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyFort HoodJack Gilbert GrahamJames HubertyJeffrey DahmerLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSagamihara StabbingsShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWoo Bum-kon

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Port Arthur massacre is part of a series on Psychopaths
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Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikCasey AnthonyGerry McCannCho Seung-HuiTyler PetersonMark EssexDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisMaurice ClemmonsAaron AlexisBruce Jeffrey PardoElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniJiverly VoongMalik Nadal HasanJared Lee LoughnerJeff WeiseJoe StackJosef FritzlJason RodriguezMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMatthew MurrayPekka-Eric AuvinenWade Michael PageTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiTim KretschmerTJ LaneRobert HawkinsRaoul MoatAlex Hribal

Career/Serial Killers:

Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer


Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin Laden

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality

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