Mark B. Cohen

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Made of nothing but win.

Mark B. Cohen is a Philadelphia politician and IRL lawyer recently turned E-lawyer. He loves the Phillyblog.com forum and believes it will replace all newspapers and take over the world. Recently, Cohen manually compiled a list of Phillyblog's top posters, revealing that he knows nothing about the internets.[1] Even moar lulz ensued when Cohen's penis began commenting on the entry.[2]


   
 
I hope your ugly cyberbullying gives you the satisfaction that you are looking for and adds meaning to your life.
 

 
 

—Marky Mark, trolling trolls (trolling newfags)

LIBEL!!!

   
 
I feel threatened by philly blog and Rep. Mark B. Cohen’s penis.
 

 
 

—MBC Penis

   
 
such is the power and girth of Mark Cohen’s penis that it actually scares itself.
 

 
 

—Chrissmari

   
 
you mean the one he fucks taxpayers with?
 

 
 

Anonymous

   
 
I hear it’s ribbed with per-diems for taxpayers’ pleasure.
 

 
 

—Anonymous

   
 
hello i am a potato
 

 
 

—Horace Steenblatter

   
 
and I’m a sentient ATM.
 

 
 

—Sentient ATM

   
 
And I’m a giant-size Dunkin’ Donuts munchkin!
 

 
 

—Giant Munchkin

   
 
and I’m Mark B. Cohen’s giant, per-diem studded penis!
 

 
 

—MBC Penis

   
 
And I am the gigantic sheath in which Mark B. Cohen’s penis lay!
 

 
 

—MBC Penis Sheath

   
 
And I am the bunghole of the taxpayers who have been fucked by Mark B. Cohen’s gigantic, per-diem studded penis!
 

 
 

Taxpayer asshole


   
 
Thank you for helping me document the extent of the libel that I have been subject to on this site.
 

 
 

—Marky Mark, displaying his understanding of libel

COLA

This blog reveals that while every single one of his colleagues returned the Cost of Living Adjustment, he had no qualms pocketing the extra $2600 (for a total salary of $94,949, not including his health plan).

See Also

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This article is a crappy stub. You can help by completely re-writing it. Be sure to make it longer, girthier, and more pleasurable.
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