In the kitchen

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Kitchen - Back To The Kitchen.jpg
Japanese kitchens default with your standard kitchen appliances, utensils, and doggystyle-ready wife and two teen daughters.

Where women should be (YouTube Favicon.png proof), just like they have been for at least 100 years. If you are a woman and on teh internets, get back in the kitchen and make your man a sandwich. Feminazi whores have been complaining about "in the kitchen" for at least 100 years. This complaining will continue until a Real Man stands up and starts pwning their stupid whore mouths.

Every good IRC network has a #kitchen channel where the harem is located.

Teaching at a young age

Things you will find in the kitchen

What you MUST do upon seeing her outside the kitchen.
  • Pots and pans.
  • An oven (Warning: May be hot!). Shove your 13-year-old brother into this... a Jew is fine too.
  • A fridge, this is a great place to hide the body of your 13-year-old brother after roasting him to death in the oven.
  • Women who know their place. If there aren't at least three, then you need to buy enslave more.
  • A clock in the stove.
PROTIP: Always use this as a defense whenever a woman asks for a watch; following up with a disciplinary slap is required.
  • Your mom, she's either there or in my bed along with your wife and daughter: who were already in my bed.
  • Your dad, who teaches you that the stove is fucking HOT you fucktard.
  • A sammich... and crack... in Pyrex bowls.
  • Jam, jelly, and marmalade.
  • Spaghettios Disregard that, some bitch stole them for performance art.

Fun things to do in the kitchen

This is what just might happen if you leave the kitchen, but all good women take it in stride.
  • Stare into the fridge for half an hour, looking for chocolate.
  • Grab food, possibly delicious cake, out of fridge and insert into mouth.
  • Practice goatse.
  • Lick the cold inside of your freezer, resulting in your tongue being stuck.
  • Drink beer and eat pizza.
  • Have sex on the kitchen table.
  • Stare into the fridge again.
  • Stare into the fridge while having sex.
  • Have sex in the fridge.
  • Have sex with the fridge.
  • Have sex with a pickle jar.
  • Make marmalade.
  • Cover your hand in ice until frozen, then shove it up your woman's arse.

Reasons to let her out of the kitchen

  • If she is Samus Aran and promises to commit at least one act of genocide and/or desecration of holy areas before she comes back.
  • So she can buy a gun and become An Hero with a murder suicide, thus proving that she can do it even though you can't, you emasculated bitch.
  • To get more food so she can come back to the kitchen and feed your fat ass.
  • So she can distract the FBI with her boobs while you evacuate your sex toys, you sick fuck.
  • So she can suck your dick while you play Modern Warfare 2, since you don't have to do anything.
  • So she can suck your dick while you're watching an important game on TV, or when you just don't feel like getting up, because that's too much work



This is disgusting and repulsive. Not only did the poor soul in this video have to suffer through seeing a woman outside of the kitchen and be forced to return her to her designated area; but if you look closely at 0:03, you can see another woman who is not where she's supposed to be. Truly appalling. The sick minds who put together this episode should be punished severely.

Also, someone get that poor man a beer, he's been through a lot lately.



What's in GeoffRules12759s Kitchen?!?!?!
Peter Coffin's Parody of women not listening the first time.


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Featured article March 31, 2018
Preceded by
In the kitchen Succeeded by
MAD magazine