Kathy Sierra

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Can you guess what she will be doing five minutes from now?

Kathy Sierra is a Lifetime story in the making. Once upon a time, in the land of tl;dr, a little girl named Kathy pondered how she could make big dramas in the future.

When she had nearly grown up, she dreamed of being a bloviator, flying around in a tiny little ROFLcopter and queefing minimal amounts of lulz.

Thus we have a portrait of a woman overcoming adversity. You may find the arena sort of ironic. Okay, she gained publicity, was threatened and harassed via e-mail, and now she is on a campaign to save the world...in other words, Beckymax.

She is a woman fighting for the rights of bloggers; talentless, vapid narcissists who spread their whining, narrow views in public journals.

She is most certainly not a dramatist or attention whore. If you think she has a victim complex, fuck you, you insensitive fuck, just FUCK YOU <sob!>.

It's the threat that causes fear.

It's the threat that leads you to a psychiatrist and tranquilizers just so you can sleep without repeating the endless loop of your death by:

  • throat slitting
  • hanging
  • suffocation

and don't forget the sexual part...

I have cancelled all speaking engagements.

I am afraid to leave my yard.

I will never feel the same. I will never be the same.


—Kathy Sierra, Kathy's blawg

Man wearing a red mask

When you touch a hot stove, don't you usually react by quickly taking your hand off? By analogy, if Kathy was genuinely hurt, wouldn't the logical reaction be taking a break from the internet? Not in this case! Kathy Sierra is a feminist who believes she should be pitied, protected, embellished, and glorified. Psychologically damaged, she so altruistically decided to use her identity as a woman and a victim of moderate electronic harassment to stir up drama and press. Salivating for more, she used the appropriate channels (certainly nothing relating to her publisher, O'Reilly) to attract media. She was now attention whoring at the nth level.

In this BBC article, Tim O'Reilly, the Al Gore of Web 2.0 and Sierra's publisher came to the podium, calling for a blogger code of conduct. In other words, he intends to encourage blogging websites to crack down on free speech. Perhaps it would be a bit more convincing if he wasn't sleeping on bags of gold and preferred stock in his publishing company. One could consider he is a kingpin in a cabal with Kathy Sierra to create an anti-troll street team comprised of zealous bloggers and fanboy vigilante fags. A system of power where they are the executive and judiciary, and ruthlessly crush anyone who doesn't follow O'Reilly scripture. In the meantime, O'Reilly can go publish 1984, and since times change, they will have an excuse for you to buy another edition every year. More recently, this clown has jumped in for a piece of the speech-control action.

Early Life

As mentioned in the recent article highlighting the true persona of our heroine, she is not quite what she seems. We can only speculate as to what events led up to the failures in life meticulously demonstrated by her very public behavior. One problem is that like many gals who despise mathematics and science, she wanted to become a programmer for the glory but couldn't, so she had to fake it. Not that there aren't many who can, but ... She thus ended up making up motivational speeches and writing bad textbooks along the same lines, all the time biting her nails wondering if anyone would ever flush her out. One can also easily find liberal doses of other forms of "bad faith" along the way.


A blond man with rope

As it turns out, during her initial string of failed attempts at normality, Katherine became the wife of one John Kozel. Now it appears that John knew exactly what to do with this type of woman and didn't hesitate to show her who the fuck runs the show. Despite her need to please the abusive men in her life, Kathy ended up in the local emergency room a couple times too many even by her standards.

Knight in Shining Armor (Fixer Complex)

Enter the hero of our story, "Master" (Albert) Bates. At the lowest point in Kathy's existence the love enabler of her life made his first appearance. After numerous adulterous encounters, Bates decided that Kathy's head game was good enough to make this a semi-permanent relationship. The two got a weekly rate special at the local Red Roof Inn and Kathy filed for divorce.

Darkest Hour

The fear!

When you achieve the level of fame and success that Kathy has there are bound to be detractors and nay-sayers, but no person deserves what was lying in wait for our girl. At the pinnacle of Kathy's "career" some critics of her "work" took the joking a bit too far and the resulting backlash will be most likely be felt for decades to come. These malicious comments expanded on various sexual acts that the poster desired to perform with Ms. Sierra and later progressed to threats of violence. The internet being the serious place that it is, these threats were not taken lightly. Kathy, butthurt to the max, proceeded to cancel all "BloggerCon" appearances, locked herself into her luxury hotel room, and used the only voice she had to shed light on this atrocity:

Tim O'Reilly, you've got to help my insane campaign.

Since then, the bitch has been riding the Whambulance all the way to the bank.

The unravelling of irony

Remember that girl back in high school who would constantly joke about sex for attention, but call you a pervert when you came onto her? (based on her blog logo)
"There are some really ignorant, greedy, embellishing bureaucrats out there on the internet. We shouldn't let you speak on behalf of the interweb or lulz either. If you want censorship liek 1984, go to fucking Turkey." Joseph Evers (Collective works, Lulz Press, 2004, )

See Kathy play butthurt for plastic dolls.

External Links

Kathy Sierra is part of a series on Internet Humanitarianism
[Click to CollapseClick to Expand]
Featured article March 29, 2007
Preceded by
Kenneth Eng
Kathy Sierra Succeeded by
Epic Fail Guy