John Forehand

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Guess what I'm thinking about!
Livin' the dream

Anyone that's been on the internets for any length of time knows that strange things happen here quite often. Hanging out on the Information Superhighway is a lot like hanging out on Hollywood Boulevard, anything can happen here at any time. Most wide eyed netizens have yet to watch Chris Hansen or seen ED's own article on pedophiles so they don't understand what happens here, that they think the sickest fucks on the internets are the ones who post goatse, tubgirl, or Mr. Hands. Still, every once in a great while something will happen here that's so enlightnening that it makes the most noobish newfags say "omgwtfbbq" and then they realize what an ocean of piss the internet really is.

Enter John Forehand. John, for all intents and purposes, seemed to be an average joe. His marriage had split up a few years back, but other than that he appeared to be fairly typical. Working at his job as a bowling alley maintenance man, to the casual observer, his life looked quite ordinary. Then one day John thought it would be a good idea to e-stalk his estranged 13 year old biological daughter on Facebook and proposition her to have sex with him.

John sent his daughter several messages on Facebook describing to her in graphic detail the things he wanted to do to her. They were so explicit that the girl had to look many of them up.

not many other fathers and daughters are this brave, so not many of them are so lucky to experience all these pleasures.


—John Forehand, smooth talker

Once she understood what her dad was actually suggesting, the girl immediately showed the bizarre messages to her mom, who in turn showed them to the po-po. The police then took over the girl's Facebook, and continued to message with John, pretending that they were her. John suggested picking her up after school one day so he could take back to her house and live out his fantasies. The police, posing as the girl, agreed to the meeting. His last message to her was:

I'll take very good care of my little girl...Love Bad Daddy


—John Forehand, in need of a backhand

Upon taking Forehand into custody, authorities searched John's car and found a camera, a tripod, and an unopened box of condoms. Similar items, along with a computer, were also found in his mobile home.


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