Jesse Osborne

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigationJump to search
JesseOsborne.png
Jesse Osborne
Nationality: Americunt  MiniflagUSA.png
Highscore Killed 2, injured 3
Top 50? lol no
Style Single player
An Hero? Nope


Fatass that tackled him
Him and his daddy. Notice the possession of a tactical school shooter assault bowl cut hairstyle.

Jesse Osborne is an edgy 14-year-old faggot who killed his dad and drove his pick-up truck to his local elementary school and shot 3 people before being tackled and shackled. His assault became known as the Townville Elementary School shooting (A.K.A Sandy Hook 2: Electric Boogaloo). Frankly, no one gave a fuck about his chimpout. But what they didn't realize was that poor old Jesse was possessed by THE GRINCH- I mean, ADAM LANZA,the renowned autist who shot his mom and drove to his old elementary school and shot 20 kids. Jesse Osborne was first suspected to just be re-enacting Sandy Hook until the scientists at ED found out that Adam's ghost had possessed Jesse and decided to try and add more points to his High Score.

Before Jesse was able to go for the High Score, some fucking fatass kid was lurking in the school after scoffing down a super-sized severing of McDonald's and bellyflopped on Jesse, leading to his arrest. Jesse however said that he threw his gun away and called his grandparents and cried to them on the phone before the fatass got to him. Either way, Jesse is now locked away in juvenile detention, living the thug life segregated from the internets, young wimminz, and education for special needs students. All he has left to enjoy is getting his scrawny ass buttfucked during Bubba's daily routine.

So apparently he was obsessed with Columbine, which is obviously so shocking as no one has ever copycatted Columbine before. He talked to fellow edgy teenagers on Instagram about his shitty unrealistic plans to sh0t sk0l n0w by buying an AR15 when he was only 14 or using dish soap to get the combination to his dad's gun safe "because it was glow in the dark" which would reveal his fingerprints. Makes perfect sense.

Graded Score

Graded score
Kill count: 2/20
Accuracy: 8/20 2 killed, 3 injured.
Style: 10/20 Tryhard school shooting
Butthurt: 4/20 No one really cared about this shooting. Plus school shootings are already ingrained in society.
Bonus: 16/20 Pwned his dad before setting out for the High Score
Total score: 40/100 (F)
You will never outrank Adam Lanza. However, at least you did better than Brooke Higgins and Sienna Johnson.
See full ranking


Wanted Level:
___________________

Wantedstar.png

___________________

Wanted1mallcop.png


Mall Cop


His Instagram shit About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also


HighScoreLeft.png
Jesse Osborne is part of a series on HSTButton.png
[Game Over][Insert Coin]
HighScoreRight.png
Ranked Mode (Single Player)

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikAndrew KehoeAriana Grande MassacreBaruch GoldsteinBrenton TarrantCampo Elías DelgadoCharles Whitman's TumorCho Seung-HuiDevin Patrick KelleyFort HoodJack Gilbert GrahamJames HubertyJeffrey DahmerLuby's massacreMartin BryantMutsuo ToiNice Truck Attack 2016Omar MateenPatrick CrusiusReina Nightclub MassacreSagamihara StabbingsShinji AobaStephen PaddockTed BundyVladislav RoslyakovWoo Bum-kon

Casual Mode (Single Player)

Aaron AlexisAlexandre BissonnetteAli David SonbolyAnton Lundin PetterssonAurora Theatre ShootingBreda Highschool MassacreBreitscheidplatzBruce Jeffrey PardoCapital Gazette ShootingCharles BishopChris Harper-MercerConnor BettsDallas Sniper AttacksDavid KatzDavid Malcolm GrayDavid LongDeath to Traitors, Freedom for BritainDerrick BirdDeWayne CraddockDimitrios PagourtzisDmitry VinogradovDylann Storm RoofElliot RodgerÉric BorelFrank JamesGabe ParkerGeorge SodiniGian Luigi FerriIlnaz GalyavievJake DavisonJames Alex FieldsJared Lee LoughnerJason DaltonJason RodriguezJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJesse OsborneJiverly VoongJoe StackJohn Russel HouserJosef FritzlKhalid MasoodKimveer GillKip KinkelLam Kor WanMamoru TakumaMarc LepineMark BartonMark EssexMatthew de GroodMichael CarnealMichael Kenneth McLendonMichael RyanMikese MorseMr. SaariNghtmrchld26Nikolas CruzPekka-Eric AuvinenPennsylvania School StabbingRamadan Van ManRandy StairRobert BalesRobert BowersRobert HawkinsRobert LongRobert SteinhäuserSantino William LeganSayfullo Saipov2017 Saint Petersburg Metro bombingThe Twinkie ManThomas Watt HamiltonTim KretschmerTJ LaneTrystan Andrew TerrellUnabomberWade Michael PageZhao ZeweiZug Massacre

Co-Operative Mode

1-14 Jakarta AttacksBoston Marathon BombingCharlie HebdoColumbineHiroshima and NagasakiJews did WTCPearl HarborSan Bernardino shootingSandniggers in ParisSri Lanka 2019 Terrorist AttacksTimothy McVeigh

Sid Meier's Civilization

Adolf HitlerAugusto PinochetCharles MansonHeaven's GateHolocaustJonestownJoseph StalinKim Il-sungMao ZedongOsama bin LadenPol PotSaddam HusseinWacoWorld War II

Banned From Scoring

Asa CoonBilly MitchellBrian Isaack ClydeJohn EarnestLogan ClarkNasim AghdamSam HydeSol PaisTodd RogersWilliam Atchison

 
Jesse Osborne is part of a series on Psychopaths
[It rubs the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose againOpen the box]
3g1h-phone3.jpg Spree/One-time Killers:

Adam LanzaAnders Behring BreivikCasey AnthonyGerry McCannCho Seung-HuiTyler PetersonMark EssexDylan KleboldDylann Storm RoofEric HarrisMaurice ClemmonsAaron AlexisBruce Jeffrey PardoElliot RodgerGeorge SodiniJiverly VoongMalik Nadal HasanJared Lee LoughnerJeff WeiseJoe StackJosef FritzlJason RodriguezMartin BryantMatthew de GroodMatti SaariMatthew MurrayPekka-Eric AuvinenWade Michael PageTheodore "The Unabomber" KaczynskiTim KretschmerTJ LaneRobert HawkinsRaoul MoatAlex Hribal

Career/Serial Killers:

Charles MansonChris BenoitHitlerMao ZedongJack the RipperJames HolmesRichard "The Iceman" KuklinskiTed BundyJeffrey Dahmer

Terrorists:

Al-QaedaDzhokar TsarnaevTamerlan TsarnaevOsama Bin Laden

See also:

Antisocial personality disorderParanoid personality disorderSick fuckMurderJewsPolice Brutality