jervaise brooke hamster

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A minor troll and self-admitted pedophile, jervaise brooke hamster prowls film review websites and blogs (predominantly horror-themed ones) in order to flood the comments sections with his grammatically nightmarish rants about homosexuality, the United Kingdom, the "time of sexual repression" and lolicon, of which his favorite is Heather O'Rourke. Attempting to communicate with him is nigh-impossible due to his repetitive manner of writing, though he has no trouble conversing with his innumerable paper-thin aliases, several of which are listed below. His preferred hangout appears to be Soiled Sinema, which is best described as Stormfront or's snobby film critiquing cousin.

Just a cursory glance at the "truth" that he transcribes everyday will make it clear that the hamster's deeply repressed homosexuality has manifested itself as an uncontrollable tic that causes him to constantly reassure himself and others that he is straight, and is all for all manner of sick fuckery as long as it is also of that orientation. There isn't too big of a difference between little girls and little boys; the former are one of the closest things to males that jervaise can lust after while still maintaining his delusion that he is a heterosexual. As for why he despises Brits despite obviously being one... maybe he believes his nationality is connected to him being a "pansy queer faggot"?

Recurring Themes

  • Advocating gay (but not lesbian) genocide.
  • Mentioned what "birds" he would "bugger" when they were 18, or 12.
  • Calling everyone and everything British scum and filth, and proclaiming that no matter bad something is, it is still better than anything the British have produced, been involved in, looked at, or spoken of.
  • Bringing up Heather O'Rourke's age/year of birth/year of death/etc. and calculating how big a gap there is between one of those and some arbitrary date, like when a film was released.
  • Threatening those who don't prescribe to his ideologies, shoehorning "girl" into their names, and transparently impersonating them.


  • eddie lydecker
  • the giver of the law
  • jimmie t. murakami
  • Jennifer Croissant
  • miss copydex
  • otis rampaging heterosexuality
  • peregrine fforbes-hamilton
  • the sneering (homo-phobic) snob
  • teddy crescendo
  • willy jerk-off

And numerous minor celebrities, like Tony Brubaker and Debbie Rochon.

See also

External links

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