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As always, south Korea best explains the origin of the Jewpanese Islands.
Typical Japanese family
The Japs now thank the Atomic Bomb in making their art a lot better.
Japanese with name containing "shi", creates great things.
Japanese men have small dicks
Japanese women require American Army Dick and will withhold base to get it. No rape? Then no base!

The Democratic People's Republic of Animestan (also known as Jewpan, Weeabootopia and Nuclear Testing Site) or more known politically-correct as Japan is a totalitarian fifth-world dystopia on a radioactive wasteland in the Pacific Ocean with less sanity and human rights than even Best Korea. It is best known for being the inventors of anime and therefore being the #1 cause of Asperger's Syndrome on the planet. Their men are autistic sick fucks who enjoy raping little girls, and their women are gold-digging pathological liars who would rather go marry and scam rich foreigners than fuck their own manchildren back home.

Japan is basically to Asia what Israel is to the Middle East. Both are ruled by racist criminal mobsters (Yakuza vs Zionist Illuminati) and had a history of both being genocided (Hiroshima and US concentration camps vs Holocaust and German concentration camps) while committing genocide at the same time (Koreans are Japan's Palestinians). Every single nation in Asia (with the sole exception of the Japanese's loyal sex slaves, the sea niggers) hate Japan and would want to erase this microstate of degenerates off the Earth if not for the Jewnited States giving them military equipment... again just like Israel. Japan's current military is 9th strongest in the world, but there are some bases that are still used by Americans, again, just like Israel. And for the last time just like the Kikes, the Japs control the Internet Media through their use of viral memes and degenerate entertainment, but the Jews at least won't resort to shitty cartoons (unless you're Lauren Faust) to mind control half the human population into instant retards. Japanese women are also known as filthy amoral and borderline-sociopathic feminists who have an obsession with your Jew Gold and will only date you so that she can blackmail you for money (e.g. the Chikan false rape accusations) then Hannibal-Lecter you into suicide. Wonder if all Japs need is a massive nose to pass them off as kikes.

For the record, some toys from japan look like this

Japan is a perfect example of "not-as-good-as-it-used-to-be." Before being raped by the atom bomb, Japan was busy doing just that to inferior countries, but with a Katana instead of the mighty power of the atom. After the USA's rampage, however, it degraded into what you see now. Most of Japan's population has aspergers caused by the radioactive bombs we dropped on their asses. That—combined with the fact that every Japanese man, woman, and child is on crack—explains why everything Japan makes is so fucking weird. But somehow, Japan loves Germany: the whores want to suck Hitler's dick while he himself called them honorary Aryans. The most plausible theory on why Hitler could love who amounts to Asian Jews is because the Japanese used to be a bunch of strict decent honorable and civilized humans until a Jewish aspie invented the nuke for Science and therefore spread his radiation upon the entire Japanese population, mutating them all into the Aspie Jews they are today.

Japan is known for being the country with the lowest calculate crime rate in the entire universe. Which isn't that surprising when you think about it, since Japan doesn't count drug dealing, prostitution, necrophilia, pedophilia, weapon dealing, extortion, blackmail, cannibalism, male rape and Yakuza (Japanese impersonators of Elvis) gang wars as "crimes".

Japs rarely exceed 150 cm in height. Most Japs would much rather be white, and some undergo limited caucasiaplasty to this end. Also, since they have a very light diet, the vast majority of Japanese wimmins have no tits. The few who have large tits end up as whores, which explains why porn of titted Japs exists. Theoretically, this could be solved with a little whale milk, but since they kill whales just to be conservative, they produce a nice duality, as an endangered Pacific string bean that's good for nothing and an endangered Pacific tub of lard that's good for nothing.

ArchiveToday-favicon.pngAn expert describes why Japan is so full of fail (TL;DR)

Bestselling Sign in Asia.


Japan was founded at least 100 years ago during the time of Adam and Eve and the dinosaurs, way before Jesus. The first emperor of Japan was Jimmu, crowned in 600BC. The most famous emperor of Japan was Hirohito (Showa).

Japanese conducted torture and mass experiments on Chinese during World War II, and their women castrated the entire Chinese male population. Here a Japanese woman cuts off a Chinese man's penis.

It really surprised me that the Japanese sided with the Nazis during World War II. They're usually so polite.


After having messy buttsecks with Hitler, Emperor Hirohito sent his buttboy, Tojo, and troops into Korea to buy Tamagotchis. The Japanese soldiers proceeded to rape, pillage and bukkake the Koreans and Chinese to near-annihilation. Afterwards, the Jap troops then proceeded to fuck the corpses of the women they killed.

President Roosevelt sent a telegram to Hirohito requesting buttsecks too, but due to a mis-translation, the Japanese flew over Pearl Harbour and sunk a few battleships by dropping Mitsubishis and Pocky from their Gundams.

Your grandmother decided it was a good idea to build some bullets and bombs, but the United States needed someone to test the bombs on, and who better than a bunch of antagonistic slopes? Americunts considered fighting them hand to hand, but decided Japs weren't even worth the time. The nukes were a most practical and efficient way. So Truman pwned the fuck out of Hiroshima on August 6th, 1945. But that cunt Tojo wouldn't surrender. To shut Japan the fuck up, Truman bombed Nagasaki three days later, for the lulz.

Japan surrendered, and to this day have been the bitch of the USA.

Fun Fact: The Epicness of the bombings would continue to show for years to come as hundreds of thousands of civilians died from horrifying radiation poisoning, hideous mutations and other shit nobody cares about, except for Koreans who rightfully point and laugh every chance they get.

Typical japfag

The Japanese are an Endangered Species

The typical Japanese salaryman, a lowly degenerate pedophile with no concept of morals.
The Japanese: an Endangered Species
Why Japs don't have sex
Also why Japs don't have sex
They literally never have sex

With poetry skills to rival even the most hardened emo, Japan was once the world's foremost macho culture. Big mustaches, leather clothes, manly sex between friends in bath houses—it was all there. Nippon is also the land of the Hot Babe. In Japan, the streets teem with the same seething, supple-limbed female honeys for which the Land of the Rising Sun has always been famous -- and each and every one of them longs for a real man to Put It To Her the good old fashioned way.

That is, until the Kikes and their imperialist ambitions came. The Kikes wanted to fuck all of the hot wahmen, only to find angry Samurai ready to chop their dicks off for trying. So, they turned to using Britain to bankrupt China during the Opium wars. Japan, not wanting to be bankrupted by Jew degeneracy as China was, became best friends with Hitler- a man who admired them as Honorary Aryans with better culture than his own German race. Because of this, the Jewnited States dropped the nuke of retardation that changed Japan forever.

It is a proven fact that the only real men left in Japan were killed in WWII and as a result, the Japs are not even having enough children to make up for the annual number of deaths: they are an endangered species [see chart -- yes, it's for real]. They are now forced to import Filipinos in a vain attempt to make up the difference.

Now all the men in Japan look like women and actively play the part. Instead of boning the most fabulous babes on earth and breeding a new generation of ass-whipping samurai, these quasi-men prefer whacking off to cartoon characters getting their heads eaten, playing with toys, and spending hours at a time in deep ass play.

One of the contributing factors of the population decline is that of all of Chinks, modern Japanese men have the smallest penises(notice how all of the japs in this article have micro dicks). As a result, Japanese girls have become ruthless feminist gold diggers who will only use the men for money then leave them to die off once they have outlived their usefulness. But despite being feminists Japanese women crave the slightly bigger White cock or the giant Black Cock and are completely submissive to White and Black men. Yes, even though the Japanese are famously racist against every other race, this need not rule out even the spottiest Irish or fattest American Star Trek geek as long as they have the cash and/or cock they want.

The men, due to brain cancer and mental retardation caused by the radiation, became sick fuck necrophiliacs that like to kill and rape female corpses and masturbate to schoolgirls in thigh-high socks getting strangled with their own entrails. Even Japan knows that 1/3 of Japanese men hate sex and thus because of Einstein, it has always been this way.

Pedophilia, like guro and necrophilia, is not only accepted in Japan, but also compulsory. The age of consent in Japan is 13, but usually it actually happens around the age of six. 110% of Japanese men are pedofags. CP is the leading export of Japan and they plan to spread it across the world. Many students have open relationships with their teachers and when the Japs heard that the teachers, coaches and priests from Jewmerica back in early 2000s were molesting little children, their response was "We can do better than that." None of this helps the birth rate, however because these cowardly microdick fucks don't have the balls to fuck a fertile adult or teen bitch. Their birth rates continue to drop and if we're lucky enough to see Susanowo Poseidon throw another lulzy tsunami at these tojos, this entire country of degenerates is expected to die out by 2030.


For more details, see: Whale Wars
Japan vs Australia in countryball form.

Japan's favorite pastime, other than bukkake, raping corpses, and working until their eyes and brain bleed from not sleeping, is viciously slaying the evil whale and/or dolphin menace. In fact the whole reason behind their space program is so they can be whalers on the moon.

Last Thursday, the Australian government asked Japan to stop whaling harvesting whales for science in Australian Antarctic waters, because you should only kill endangered species in your own country.

Being a teeny-tiny bit sensitive to criticism, Japanese YouTubers and their sympathizers proceeded to hurl every bizarre insult at Australia that they could think of through the medium of KikeTube comments and TL;DW videos—in hilariously broken English. It would appear that Australia only cares about animals that look cute—they are kangaroo-killing hypocrites, who want to destroy the Japanese culture like they did to the Aboriginals. This is totally OK.

How Aussies telling the Japs to GTFO of THEIR waters will stop them is unclear at this point. But much like the Chinese civilians after the last Japanese invasion of China, the Aussies are clearly asking for a decapitated-neckhole rapin’.

Most Aussies won't argue that whaling is better than the Japanese soldiers eating prisoners of war. Read all about it! (Also note how long the list of war-crimes is.)

Lulzy Earthquakes

Last Thursday Japan was hit by a huge earthquake of over 9000 magnitude. This, of course, is not surprising because Japan is about as prone to natural disasters (magnified by their own retardation ) as Africa is to AIDS. To amplify the mental retardation, they built nuclear reactors close to the shoreline. Oh Japan, you so craaaaazy.

What is surprising, however, is that one of the world's richest nations has completely failed to prepare for this inevitable pwning by GodJesus and as a result, civilized countries like Isreal and the U.S. must lend the Japanese tree fiddy, so that they can rebuild all the animu studios and child sex factories destroyed by the disaster.

The earthquake did however, kill thousands of Japs. This granted those Japs their sexual fantasies and their radioactive corpses served as the sex toys for the survivng Japanese. Rumor has it that some of the Japanese are still skull-fucking their bones today.

Where off switch?
Pwnt by a tsunami minutes after being pwnt by an earthquake and then getting pwnt by radiation


Every cosplayer ever
Japanese technology is being adapted to deter rapists and Weeaboos

The purest form of faggotry...

Japanophiles are western people who love everything to do with Japan, even the creepy shit, like the coin-operated panty dispensers and blackfaced, autistically screeching wahmen. They are usually fat and socially inept (male), or fat and delusional about their looks (female) and can be identified by their Cowboy Bebop (Naruto is the new coolect animu evar that will still be popular in 100 years!) wallscrolls, appreciation for J-pop and insistence on cosplaying. Not to mention walking around the city with a fucking Pocky sticking out of the mouth. Many Japanophiles are to be found at Colleges such as Earlham and Oberlin, where they form anime clubs and dress up like retarded faggy space elves with fox ears and capes.

Japanophilia is not to be confused with pedophilia, as there are several key differences. For example, pedophiles are obsessed with making love to children whereas weeaboos are obsessed with Anime degeneracy, writing with chopsticks, downloading gigabytes of hentai and annoying the fuck out of you at parties by talking at length about their interpretation of Neon Genesis Evangelion. Both, however, masturbate over pictures of schoolgirls.

Weebfags do not reproduce by conventional means; most die as virgins and those that do not are usually imprisoned for rape. Instead, they use the internet to influence vulnerable teenagers to watch episodes of Trigun before leading them on to the harder (and less comprehensible) stuff. Soon the anime meme has infected the poor teen's brain and he has become a mindless Japanophile too.

The Japanophile's life cycle can end three ways; either dying an elderly virgin surrounded by small plastic figurines that cost hundreds of dollars each, being raped to death in prison (oh, teh irony!) or committing IRL self-pwnage after arriving at Japan and discovering that it's not full of enormously-breasted women who want to sleep with pasty, gaijin lardballs. The last words of the latter Japanophiles are usually "Megatokyo lied to me..."

FUN FACT: Converse to how Weeaboos dry hump anything to do with Japanese culture, western culture is actually popular among Japanese teenagers. Proof of this is displayed with how many Japs dye their hair blonde and speak English.

Japanese Language

Seppuku SUDOKU!

Japanese is a language learned by retards affected by severe Pink Guy Disease who claim that they're learning it because they "enjoy Japanese culture" when they're actually enjoying anime. The "Japanese culture" they enjoy learnin' about can also involve Japan's most dark stuff, like Shintoism/Buddhism and other false gods, ritualistic suicide, Unit 731 (a chemical/biological warfare research unit in a Japanese puppet state), and of course, all those damn earthquakes, floods, and other weather shit.

For their years of rigorous training, Japanese language teachers get to instruct unmotivated American teenagers with Pink Guy Disease and/or Acute Cultural Conformist Syndrome in the basics again and again while one half writes Ouran High School Host Club/Harry Potter  crossover fanfiction in class and the other watches the latest fan-subbed ninja fan-service anime on their $2,000 laptops. Even though a tiny percentage actually finish the course, they have no real use for it other than fansubbing anime or re-translating a Final Fantasy game. If you're hopeful, at least a very tiny amount of those weens will cheerfully master Japanese to work as humble, cheerful overseas protestant Christian pastors, as only 1% of Japs in the ENTIRE NATION claim to be Christians. This is absolutely true. 

[[fail|This is a worthwhile use of their time since at least 99.05% of American translators are close-minded Worldwide Tech Oligarchy supporting, marxist AmeriKKKans who are unable to understand the elevated cultural value of Japanese children's cartoons]]. As strange as it sounds, the last sentence is not irony. No, it's just stupid.

Google Transrate fails, defaults to Engrish

In addition to speaking their native tongue, the Japanese also speak an interesting language called Engrish, which can be seen on many slave-produced billboards and products.Their writing system consists of over 9000 brain-exploding, complicated symbols stolen from Tiny China by anime pirates; only a few simplified ones are used in their alphabet, and naturally took on the appearance of destructive whaling harpoons, deadly katanas and morally toxic dildos of all kinds/every dildo known to men.

In the video section, please to find a Demo of their so called... ":*(&^%$^ENGRISH^$%^&)*:" It has an accurate subtitle...

How to get around in Japan

Japanese Flag

Since we at ED care about your Japanese experience, we've collected some useful Japanese phrases you can use when you meet a Jap!

  • Boku/Pocky wa _________ - My name is ________.
  • Kyokon dii~rudo wo tabetai - I would like to eat some delicious cake.
  • Sono shimbun wo kaimashita - I am not fluent in Japanese, can we speak English?
  • Kimi no imouto wo reipu shitai - Please take a seat over there...
  • Anime wo mitari, manga wo yondari shitai - I want to do things like watch anime and read manga.
  • DESU DESU DESU DESU DESU - I am not a Weaboo, now will you stop looking at me like that?
  • Chin-chin wo namesaseruzo - Problem, officer?

How To Troll Japs


In what could be one of the most hilarious cases of Irony of all time, the most expertised in trolling the Japanese, are in fact, their own demonspawn, the weeaboos, even if they aren't doing it intentionally. The Japanese want to present themselves to the world as civilized strict people and do this by shunning NEETs (euphemism for aspies) and putting them in mental hospitals but once a fat wapanese dressed in a Sailor Moon costume and smells of Pocky lands shouting "BAKASUGOIKAWAIIDESUNE" everywhere and raiding used Japanese schoolgirls' panties, the masquerate of discipline is shattered and reveals Japan for the aspie-infested laughing stock of the world that it is. This is why, if you ever meet a person who is decently mannered and seems normal, but reveals he is in fact Japanese, then binge yourself on 4chan, TV Tropes, Pokemon and the most disgusting Hentai you can ever find on the Internet, inform everyone of the truth and in front of the Jap reenact everything in a barrage of Sugoikawaiibakadesune ala Chris-chan on steroids. With everyone knowing that this disgusting autistic shit is Japanese Culture, he will definitely be humiliated forever and possibly bullied to harakiri.

Of course, using this tactic is like a Palestinian strapping a suicide bomb upon himself to kill Kikes, since if your audience is too short-sighted then they may assume you, not him, as the aspie. There are less effective, but safer methods, however.

  • Say anything good about Korea (both Koreas), anything at all.
  • Say that Zettai ryouiki is overrated. (Really it is)
  • Tell them how Dokdo and Diaoyu are parts of Korea and China, Iturup, Kunashir, Shikotan are parts of Russia and "Takeshima" & "Senkaku" are just pussy land grabs.
  • If you're a female, don't wear thigh-high socks, pantyhose, or other hosiery. Japs are Arabs with legs and despise uncovered legs with a fiery hate. Going bare-legged to the Japanese is considered the ultimate blasphemy and worse than murder. They will kill any girl that doesn't and rape her corpse.
  • If you produce hentai, never draw any character wearing thigh-high socks, pantyhose, or other hosiery. (WARNING, you might get killed.) If you're Japanese doing this will be considered the highest of highest treason in Japan.
  • Tell them that Hiroshima and Nagasaki were the happiest moments of the HUMAN race. Yes, Japs are retarded evil monkeys designed by Xenu
  • Tell the Japanese that they are now America's economic bottom bitch despite the fact that they are one of the most wealthy nations in the world. That's what they deserved for trying to over-expand their borders during WWII and then getting pwned by Amurika!
  • Spell the Japanese capital with an 'i' instead of a 'y'.
  • Post a picture of a nuclear explosion with the caption "pwnd".
  • Post a picture of Japanese internment camps with the caption "pwnd". For more lulz, praise Michelle Malkin's book of Japanese internment.
  • Deliberately confuse them with Gooks.
  • Talk to them in Korean, and expect them to understand you completely.
  • Say karaoke is Korean.
  • Call them "Japs", "Azn", or Pokeymanz.
  • Show 'em this (although they might fap to it)
  • Produce hentai without Zettai ryouiki (and all other hosiery and thighhigh legwear) AND without death, guro, and snuff.
  • Say that you learned Japanese tradition through anime.
  • Tell them that China can invade Japan at any time.
  • Never use png image format. (Like their hentai, oversized things arouse them)
  • Post a low-res picture of Japan being ejaculated upon by multiple high-res penises.
  • Mention that they come from Korea and everything in their culture is Korean.
  • Tell them that they originate in Southeast Asia.
  • Walk by a schoolgirl.
  • Then tell them what retards they are for going all "dumbshit fantard" over some shitty Jpop singer for no other reason than that he's Japanese.
  • Upload a ton of Jap-made mods for Japanese games up for free downloading. The more uploaded for download, the better. MikuMikudance is a perfect example because the MMD community treats the game and themselves as some sort of fucking secret club. Often times on the few downloads they offer they put secret passwords on them. And so they get really pissed off about MMD stuff being shared (as well as passwords and links). They especially get mad when R18 models and videos are made. And make them easy and convenient to download; that will surely enrage the retarded Japs.
  • Tell them that you don't like snuff and guro
  • Tell them that there is no such thing as a pure Japanese.
  • Tell them that they came from the Kikes, especially since the degenerate Kikes have influence in their government.
  • Tell them you like Godzilla
  • Mention the war crimes commited by their military in WWII.

Brutally True Facts

One of the most popular sports in Japan.
Japanese man at work
  • All Japanese citizens have Ass Burgers, and most of them are introverts.
  • Pink Guy Disease has become such an epidemic in Japan, that all Japanese infants are mandated to be screened by domestic therapists and doctors for the tisms'.
  • PGD sufferers in Japan spend their whole childhoods in dirty, worn-down, leftist Special Sylum's or self-contained leftist classrooms, and are left without meaningful jobs when they become adults (other than manufacturing your slave-made animu merchandise and figures).
  • Pink Guy Disease has increased in Japan over 933% due to the introduction of Flat Design, Otaku tourism, and YouTube Kids and all its vile platforms orchestrated by that globalist, fascist Hollywood corp called YouTube.
  • All Japanese citizens are on crack in AT LEAST SOME KIND OF FORM, from colorful Konpeito candies to actual Venezuelan cocaine. This fact brought to you by ED's own Japanese editor, Kazuhiro.
  • All male Japanese are either drag queens or transexuals or perverted old basement dwellers who sell hentai doujins. It's now almost impossible to find good, moral male Japs who are still alive (and sell pure, non-perv thingies, like candied vegetables or singing battery-operated herbal suppositories).
  • All Japanese politician's are controlled by socialist fascist Yakuza. Also, it is legal to impersonate Yakuza in Japan.
  • All male Japanese are omega as fuck (due to a lack of good manly male jobs in Wapan-Warudo/World for them) and only get their pieces of strawberry-flavored bum-bum from sex dolls, pillows with their favorite characters printed on them, and corpses from ritualistic Buddhist/Shinto behaviours.
  • All female Japanese love great white cock and suffer from either depression or megalomania. If a Japanese mom's kid turns out disabled for whatever reason (down syndrome, the tisms', traumatic bodily injury from a Shinkansen train accident or whatnot), her effeminate husband gets divorced and she becomes single.
  • Japan is known for its socialistic ways disguised as capitalism. In fact, a Jap will do just about anything for a few bucks, including loving you long time for $10 (that's Vietnam dumbass) (they'll do it too, faggot). If they refuse, threaten to nuke their Chinese cookware and ugly minimalist bedrooms with some Splatoon paint guns smuggled from North Korea. That always works.
  • In Japanese medicine, all drugs and most cures are suppositories. Anybody who takes a Japanese drug, simply because it's Japanese, is therefore a douche.
  • 4chan was inspired by a Japanese imageboard. Absolutely True!
  • Japan's mainstream liberal tartlets are just like social justice warriors, and they will GO APESHIT if they find out you're a Republican. If so, threaten to nuke their ugly minimalist bedrooms a third time.
  • 99% of all Japanese people are necrophiliacs and guro-fetishists. This expains why they obsess over some magical girl in agony getting her head eaten off by a pedophillic clown. As they used to say during World War 2, "Dead girls and gore make a Jappy's fappy happy!"
  • Japs are like arabs, only they want the legs covered at all times. Girls in Japan who are found going bare-legged (even when bathing and swimming) face torture, death, and having their corpse raped. Anime/manga/hentai producers (even if they're not Japanese) will suffer the same fate if they don't draw thighhigh socks (regardless of gender). Liking and drawing bare-legs, going bare-legged, not liking/not drawing stockings/thighhighs/hosiery are considered by the Japanese to be the worst crimes. In Japan, people who prefer bare-legs are hated like anti-tax people are hated in the US; worse than terrorists. Japanese despise bare legs.
  • Japs love Americunts when comparing other Chinks, but hate weeaboos. Yet they hate Americans for the two epic bombs that they dropped on two shitty villages that started a chain of faggotry in Japan. Basically these two-faced, double-standard cunts hate everyone.
  • Japanese think their religion is Ayumi Hamasaki cause there's truly no other way to explain this.
  • Japs love eating literal shit and anything they can find like insects YouTube Favicon.png Srsly. Some believe this is a result of the radioactive materials that have been released since the Japan Crisis of 2011.
  • The Japanese descend from deported criminals and chicken fuckers from numerous Central and East Asian countries. The Ainu are the original inhabitants of the Japanese archipelago and were raped and murdered off their land into the most northern tip of Japan. Also, ten lost tribes of Jews from Israel went there and interbred with the Japanese. After the mighty nuke of retardation was dropped, the Japanese have finished their full transformation into Autistic Jews.
Explanation of dating etiquette in Japan
Japanese Pastime.
Japan's traditional sport.
Another Japanese invention
Japan can be awesome sometimes.

Senkaku Islands Daoyu Islands

Just last thursday, a big dramafest emerged between the chinks and the Japs for a set of small, useless pseudo-islands. Some stupid redneck chinks being the patriots they are, boarded the Daoyu island (also known as fishing island, pretty shitty name) and got pwned by Japan's sea tactic known as "double penetrations". The chinks were then arrested and got buttraped in Japan tentacle prison (truth reveal, the owner of the island is a Jew. Like Josef Fritzl, he put the bitches in the kitchens while trolling all other chinks outside the island).

The chinks then responded by burning Japanese cars, boycotting Japanese products, and chink-chimping. Wikipedia was no alien to that drama, providing a nice dose of butthurt and lulz.


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World War II velly funny neh? LOTFR

Shit, Japan needs some better history teachers.

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See Also

Typical Japanese couple.
Glorious nippon merchant.jpg

External Links

The ideal Japanese "man", 2012


Japan does Furries.

Japan is part of a series on 日本国

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