|LOL, the police are tired of constantly arresting this jackass for doing stupid shit and raping children in his van. Plz search for lulz on his growing jail record.|
|Born||January 17, 1997|
Jake Joseph Paul✡ is a
twenty ten year old, pedophilic, alpha chad, kike actor and JewTuber that rose to internet fame on the now-dead video application, Vine. Paul is known for playing the retarded role of Dirk on the Disney Channel series Bizaardvark. So imagine a stereotypical dumbass jock who fucks all the bitches and tries to be a bootleg version of Eminem , while 12 year old girls chase after him. He also asskisses his brother, Logan Paul, in attempt to ride on his current fame, because without him he would have been a deadbeat jackass. He's also a terrible vlogger and prankster, due to his small IQ. This means that he can do whatever the fuck he wants in Hollywood without being put into jail, because you know that he's gonna bail himself out in 5 minutes with his constant monopoly bucks. There is absolutely nothing relevant, important, different or notable about him. He is a carbon copy of the other gorillions of chad youtubers out there. There is completely no reason to give him any attention whatsoever as he doesn't even qualify as a lulcow for his current actions or deeds. However, for informational purposes we must record every stupid thing he has ever done because of curious fucktards who happened to search his name up on the ED search engine for the lulz.
On January 17, 2017, it was reported Paul had launched his fanbase/crew nicknamed "Team 10" with $1 million in financing to create marketing management and teen entertainment. So basically, not only does he pay people to promote him in growing his retarded fanbase, but he also gets payed to basically burn shit to the ground and break into famous celebrity homes. Now here's the main, crappy members of the Team 10 franchise:
- Jake Paul: Main character and fuckboy of them all. Leader and founder of the Team 10 crew. The only man baby who has to be taken care of by his homies and parents. Gets the most bitches and sex due to his friends having contacts with many different girls.
- Martinez Twins: Autistic 1 and autistic 2. Two dirty Mexican orphans who would've gotten deported if Jake Paul hadn't swooped in and saved their asses with cash and clothing. They get to have constant threesomes with Jake's leftover women, and often his sidekicks when it comes to making prank videos outside of his house.
- Tessa Brooks: There's literally nothing interesting about this bitch except for "bla bla bla I'm Tessa Brooks". Always tries to announce her name to the world even though most people don't even know who the fuck she is. She's also Jake's 10th girlfriend and soon to be ex. Jake always tries to force her into some of his recent videos and she gets easily offended if someone mocks her in anyway, shape, or form.
- Chance Sutton: A fuckboy Jake Paul wannabe, he used to work at KFC before Jake Paul inspired him to asskiss him for the fame and fortune. He's also another person that nobody gives a shit about and is often been left as a backround character in Jake's music videos.
- Nick Crompton: Son of Mary Poppins, this fake-ass brit flew across the ocean just to move in and hang out with the Paulers. He dropped out of 1st grade due to the fact that he couldn't point out where the country of England is and instead calls it a city. He also likes to eat chicken made by Sutton during his KFC days and rarely burns enough fat since he is a fatass and a sucker for ripped clothing.
His Shitty Career
Paul began his cancerous career in September, 2013 simply by posting 7 second videos of him flexing on Vine. Following in his brother's footsteps like a brainless puppy. By the time Vine took a hit and committed suicide, Jake Paul had over 5.3 million fantards and 2 billion plays on the app.
In 2015, it was announced that Jake would be starring as Dirk in Disney Channel's new comedy series, Bizaardvark, due to him needing more little girls to satisfy his large ego.
There's really nothing much else to say about his career other than he strangely keeps getting more swooning fans and money for basically doing stupid and immature shit that people normally couldn't do in the real world.
Fuck Da Police
Like all pranksters who are retarded imbeciles, Jake Pauler here gets constanstly fucked up by not only the police, but even the government at times for invading privacy, trespassing property, stealing valuable items from celebrities, and so much more. What's even more surprising is that he always gets away with it by throwing bail money at them and repeats his mistakes over and over again for them views; copying the "ITS JUST A PRANK BRUH!1!!" excuse from our favorite daddy, DaddyOFive.
On January 5, 2017, Paul was suddenly invited to the White House, centering on social media by our former black president, Barack Obama. As a stunt/prank for his YouTube vlog channel, he hid in one of their giant golden plated bathrooms before sneaking out of the White House at 3:30am in the morning without being confronted by security or their vicious guard dogs. Because if they even touch him they're gonna get mauled and sued by hordes of his fangirls. He also constantly vlogs dangerous interactions with the secret service with a clickbaity title even though it's supposed to be a private arrest.
Jake Paul on The News
Eventually, lwhen his fame exploded, a news team in Hollywood decided to investigate disturbances in a nearby Neighborhood where Jake Paul and his cucky crew were hanging out. From riding big trucks to getting hot bitches in bikinis, these guys were not only pissing off the neighbors, but badly influencing teenage girls and scaring little children into drinking bleach and partying all night like college students in a frat house. What you'll see in the video below is the very definition of Jake Paul and what he does every day, even dabbing on camera and using old memes that nobody gives any shits about to insult the news reporter.
His Prank Videos
His prank videos are not only shitty but are unoriginal and mostly motivated by the fact that he wants to get constant revenge on his brother Logan. From stealing/making out with his girlfriends to destroying each others belongings. Like I said before, this is the proper way to earn Jewtube cash and to make your parents proud of you for what you are becoming. Also at the first days of 2018 his brother Logan trolled a suicide victim by filming him and joked around. Because of that notorious Wikipedo™ man-baby Calton Bolick says he want to swat him. Nice try little kid!
His Diss Tracks
Of course with great power comes great music videos right? Like any other singing celebrity, Jake Paul wanted to be like Justin Beaver to get more fans on his dick, so he created poorly based rap music only to diss his brother to see who is the best Pauler. He is the perfect example of why white people can't rap and is dishonoring the Rap God himself Eminem, shaming him to death. And so on the cancerous day of May 30, 2017, Paul released another song and music video alongside his whiteboys Team 10, titled "It's Everyday Bro", which achieved over 70 million views on JewTube in its first month and has become the seventh most disliked video on YouTube. (With currently 1 million likes and dislikes due to Team 10 fangirls vs common sense) The song also peaked at number 94 on the Billboard's Hot 100 on the chart dated June 24, 2017. Causing ears to bleed and black men cringing with difficulty as other Jewtubers react to his retarded-ness humorously. The song even became a meme and caused parodies to be written and laughed at. BUT HE STILL GOT PAID ANYWAY~
On July 22, 2017, Paul tweeted out that he would be ditching his contract with the Disney Channel and his show Bizaardvark during the middle of filming the second season because he's a jackass. He also left some actors unemployed since without the main star in the show there is no show. And Disney said they "mutually agreed" to part ways in a statement because they don't want a bad influence punk in their studio. Paul also stated that he wanted to focus on the growth of his personal brand, Team 10, as a reason to split. So basically he Buzzfeeded Disney Channel to create another god damn video about it.
Little children and teenagers in which Jake Paul have raped. That's all we need to know.
Current Meme Catchphrases
IT'S EVERYDAY BRO
England is My City
Since the writers of the song are bootyhungry chadtubers, they never checked or revised the lyrics at all, hence the lyric "England Is My City" to be born by Nick Poppins himself.
During the Black Lives Matter protest, Jake Paul thought it was good idea to steal some jew gold all for himself. He got a bunch of other douchebags to help him raid the mall.
Jake Paul was such a badass that he posted it on social media. The police saw it and pressed charges. He denied that he looted, despite posting a video of him looting. The police saw through his sad excuse, and put him inside of a cell.
After losing relevance, he is now trying a career in boxing, despite barely any boxing experience in the slightest. In fact, his only boxing experience was fighting ComedyShortsGamer, in the ultimate scam known as the KSI vs Logan Paul Boxing Match . The people that set up boxing matches realize this, so he only goes up against shitty opponents that aren't trained boxers. Most of them have never boxed at all; just fellow losers and retired athletes who decided to become "boxers" for pay per view shekels.
- Team 10 (IQ)'s Official Website
- Jake's YouTube Channel
- Jake's Twitter Account
- Jake's Instagram Account
Jake Paul is part of a series on
Jake Paul is part of a series on YouTube.