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Meet the fall of man.

J-Emo is an unofficial (but appropriate) term for retarded Emo kids who obsess over Japan, animu, J-pop, and Visual Gay. This bullshit genre of 'music',Visual Gei, features cock-lacking men dressing up as women and throwing up blood on their fanwhores. Most J-Emos' are 16 year old girls and 13 year old boys, though there have been many sightings recently of J-Emos 35+ years of age. All J-Emos are females, because the males who join the cult are required to give up their manhood as a sacrifice before earning their membership.

The worst J-Emo populations can be found in Germany, Finland, Sweden, France and California, due to the unbelievably high amount of faggotry in teenagers and popularity of suicide-oriented music. Unfortunately, this new form of cancer seems to be spreading to other areas as well, quickly becoming a world-wide epidemic.

How to spot a J-Emo in the wild

Typical J-Emo whore.

J-Emos can be easily mistaken as a typical weeaboo or emo kid, however it's important to note that they are actually a hybrid of the two, thus making them twice as bad and possibly twice as ugly. A J-Emo's 'natural' habitat mainly revolves around places such as: the mall, anime conventions, sushi restaurants, any 'Chinatown' or AZN themed place within a city. (This includes AZN food markets as well.) Once you are in their preferred environment, they should quickly become easy to spot. J-Emo usually have most if not all of the following:

  • Four pairs of mismatching brightly colored stockings/socks per leg. This tends to make their legs look lumpy and swollen.
  • Slashed wrists, cutting marks, scars proudly on public display.
  • Poorly dyed hair of a unnatural shade, usually already faded and seems unwashed. Hairstyles can vary from the typical AZN style mullet to a nappier, almost Amy Winehouse-esqe mess.
  • Caked on makeup, usually resembling some sort of clown-whore or the corpse of a rotting prostitute.
  • Anything with annoying 'Kawaii' characters such as Gloomy bear or Hello Kitty.
  • Dressed either like a Hot Topic reject on meth or some disturbing mix of a homeless person, Ronald Mcdonald, and a room full of washed up rave kids. Some may only wear 'burando' clothing from such brands as: Sex Pot Revenge, h.Naoto, as well as various rorita brands.
  • Works at Hot Topic, an anime/videogame store, or a AZN restaurant.
  • Attempts to speak in a 'Kawaii' way, usually spouting out mangled Japonaiz they learned from their favorite anime or J-drama show.
  • Token AZN friend or boyfriend, usually a cheap Jap imitation, such as Chinese, Korean or Filipino.
  • Calling themselves and their friends by 'Kawaii' Japonaiz names such as: Aiko, Aki, Kei, Miku, Sakura.

Keep in mind that J-Emos usually hunt for their AZN prey in packs. They are easy to provoke, but lack any real defense, usually resorting to whining a ear-piercing "BAKA" before attempting to flee. They make wonderfully easy targets due to this lack of defense. Others may attempt to fake a tough attitude, but will avoid fights at all costs to protect their hair/makeup/clothing from damage.

As Sources of Lulz

Considering their lack of intelligence and need for drama, the J-Emo can be a great souce of lulz and there are many ways to achieve this. Troll LiveJournals, MySpace, DeviantART accounts, forums, and various other places the J-Emo whore around. Some simple ways to do so are:

  • Insult the Japanese. (babyfuck and WW2 references encouraged.)
  • Tell them the truth of Japanese culture. (pedophilia, racism, sexism, rape/abuse, and how the Nips themselves worship the Greeks. You lulz as they turn in all their overpriced Hot Topic animu for precious BAKLAVA!)
  • Pretend to be a Japanese person, use their new-found obsession with you to your advantage.
  • Hack their accounts, post private information/pictures online for all to see.
  • A J-emo will most likely get srsly butthurt if you remind them that Visual Kei is just a shittier regurgitation of equally shitty 80's Glam metal bands.

Because of their serious need for attention and a reputation as an internet badass, the J-Emos will arrange an internet counter-attack with all their retarded might. What they don't realize is that their poor attempt at internet winning makes them even more fail. A good example can be found here [1]. Presented to you by the weeaboo Kazuhiro.


^__^ Totally Kawaii J-emo Slideshow ^__^


Simple Examples of J-Emos About missing Pics
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J-Emos to troll

If you have nothing better to do, try these on for size.

See Also

External Links

Pika Pika.gif J-emo is related to a series on AZNS. [Domo ArigatoHerrow]
More Dangerous Than They Look

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Noted Tyrants

Chairman MaoCho Seung HuiHirohitoMontezumaKim Jong IllPol PotEllen Pao

Cam Whores

Ayuka NaritaBiostudentgirlEelgirlEmotion EricHard GayLittle FattyTila TequilaTubgirlThe Wine KoneTrap-kunXiao RishuYuri Kochiyama


AimeeApplemilk1988Arudou DebitoDesu-radioFiredarkdragonFred GallagherHidoshiJellobunsKevin and KatMari IijimaMRirianPyroboobyReyvataeilSnapesnoggerSe-chanTwo-Ton-NekoValerie (Pai)ZS3

Musical Endeavors


Me No Rikey Velly Much

Game2WinterRucka Rucka AliMark WahlbergMiley CyrusUnited Airlines

Azn Stuff

Edison Chen photo scandalAnti-CNNFan deathMilkMizhi County No. 3 Middle School AttackPockyRamenRicersThe SATYaeba

J-emo is part of a series on
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