Internet Disease (AKA Instagram Voodoo or The Angles) means displaying old, faded, blurred or otherwise non-descript photographs of oneself, taken with bad lighting and at awkward angles, on the Internets in order to make you appear more attractive to people online than you are IRL. Internet disease was invented in 1998 by Natsuki, a reverse weeaboo living in Michigan at the time.
How Internet Disease Works
An internet diseased photo is taken with the subject standing at an angle, thereby hiding his or her obesity, bald spot, scars, etc. Also the contrast of the photo is increased dramatically in order to obscure unattractive facial features, like acne and the chin.
By using such techniques, which are elucidated in greater detail below, individuals afflicted with the Internet disease are able to conceal the fact that they are an unattractive person, and instead become a figure envied (or, at least, not reviled) by others. In a desperate attempt to look like the victims of Internet disease, admirers use the very same techniques as the admiree(s), thus further propagating the disease.
In 2004, the World Health Organization released statistics showing that over 9,000 teenage girls in the United States alone suffer from Internet disease (ID), over half of which have led to disappointing meetings with IRC and AOL boys. The paper also claimed that ID is especially dangerous because desperate men far too often end up having unprotected sex with female ID sufferers anyway, leading to the birth of many ID-exposed babies, causing the problem to perpetuate. The WHO has emphatically recommended the immediate use of condoms and vasectomies for all men on the Internets, as well as fallopian-tying for all ID female sufferers.
- Fat girl angle shot
- 135° Birds-eye
- 180° Overhead
- High contrast
- Over-contrast / brightness
- Low contrast
- Sepia tone (hide acne)
- Black and White (hide everything)
- Misleading thumbnail
- Sex by association
- Old Pics
- If all else fails: Lens flare
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Free Speech • Identity theft • Irony • Internet asshole • Internet Celebrities • Internet disease • Internet drama • Internet humanitarians • Internet Law • Internet lawsuit • Internet lawyer • Internet stalking • Internet tough guy • Internet Vigilante Group • Operation Falcon Punch • Swatting • Vandalism • World Wide Web Consortium
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2cash • Alan Turing • Casey Serin • David Hockey • Dear Cis People • Doxbin • Fast Eddie • Grace Saunders • Hallcats Squadron • Jessi Slaughter • Mary Bell • Meek Mill • Kittens • Maja Schmidt • Missy • Niggest Crook Force • Psychopath • Vloggerheads • WEB SHERIFF
|Featured article November 7, 2005|
At least 100 years ago
|Internet Disease||Succeeded by|