Intelligent Design

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You could be looking for Idiotic Drivel and not even know it!
And they say there's no proof!
John Carmack, (taking a shit) is the lead proponent of ID.
What sort of God would design this?
Or this?

Intelligent Design, better known as Creationism 2.0, is an idea that was thought up over 9000 years ago (interestingly enough, this might even be true...). The argument can be formulated as follows:

  1. Look at all the pwetty birdies and the plants.
  2. How could all ther birdies be here by mistake?
  3. I fink someone put the birdies here.

The genius of this argument was recognized at once and it was quickly adopted by Christians the world over. Some people were scared by these groundbreaking observations and so invented the myth of evolution (EEE-VOH-LOO-SHUN). The theory is that over 9000 years ago (this is a lie as the earth is only 6000 years old), the Earth was covered in primordial slime. Little fishies swam out of the slime and turned into dinosaurs, which turned into monkeys, which turned into men. This is a silly idea.


Liberal secularists try to censor intelligent design out of our public schools

Where da lulz at?

Possibly the lulziest part of this whole shitstorm is the ID camp's insistence that the "creator" is an undefined entity. Sure, it could be God, but really, I mean, you can think of it as like, you know, a rock, spaghetti, invisible pink unicorn, or something. This idea is almost as clever as the 12 Step program in which courts order people to attend a rehabilitation program which requires you to believe in some kind of higher power. Lulz, America. Lulz.

Some have even claimed that this intelligent designer is, in fact, Professor Stephen Hawking.

Others claim that it is Raptor Jesus.


The intelligent design crew, led by theologian/mathematician William Dembski, has a blog called Uncommon Descent (get it?) which has developed into one of the internet's primary depositories for unintentional lulz. For instance:

One of Dembski's hand-picked blog co-moderators, Dave Springer, once received an e-mail to the effect that the ACLU was about to sue the Marine Corps in order to stop Marines from praying; outraged, Springer posted it on his blog in order that his readers could join him in being affronted. After all, the e-mail had told him to. "Please send this to people you know so everyone will know how stupid the ACLU is Getting [sic] in trying to remove GOD from everything and every place in America," the bright-red text exhorted, above pictures of praying Marines. "Right on!" Dembski added in the comments. It was then pointed out by other readers that the e-mail was a three-year-old hoax; the ACLU spokesperson named therein did not actually exist, and neither did the ACLU's complaint. Springer was unfazed by the revelation. "To everyone who's pointed out that the ACLU story is a fabrication according to -- that's hardly the point," he explained. "The pictures of Marines praying are real." Dembski himself had no further comment.


—Barrett Brown, Huffington Post

What passes for academic inquiry

The counter argument to intelligent design mostly comes from evolution, which claims to be superior merely because it has time-tested empirical evidence supporting it. To counter the counter argument, ID advocates state that the pious don’t need logic, so that’s alright then isn’t it? This argument has been propagated across the internets for around a hundred years, and yet nobody has changed their mind after hearing the other side of the argument. This is probably because IDers start out so incredibly fucktarded that they wouldn't know a well-reasoned point of view if it fucked their girlfriend and shit on their coffee table. Get in the car, kids.

Oh, and Billy Dembski has a small dick. Unintelligent design indeed.

Trolling Intelligent Design Forums

Even Family Guy owns them.
  1. Log in to your computer.
  2. Hax Forum.
  3. Post 50 pictures of a Harlequin Fetus.
  4. Watch the Lulz unfold before your very eyes.
  5. ????
  6. PROFIT!

See also


Intelligent Design
is part of a series on
Badass jesus.jpg
Blessed by God [-+]
Beliefs, Events, Traditions and Other Drama [-+]
Pissing Off the Almighty [-+]
Heathens [-+]
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Intelligent Design is part of a series on