Histrionic Personality Disorder

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Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is the medical diagnosis given to people who are such enormously overweened attention whores that they cannot properly function in society. The illness largely includes pathological sluts who never shut the fuck up and never leave you alone. HPD sufferers are a plague on the internets, accounting for every annoying camwhore on YouTube and spamming every 4chan board with shitty pictures of themsleves.

HPD sufferers are almost always women and in the past have experienced jocular receptions to their behavior such as that time Americans decided to burn witches. In the past it was also common practice to cut the clits off promiscuous women, because as we all know, sexual pleasure is only for men. Those Krazy Kristians also had fun with these girls, diagnosing them as possessed by demons and sentencing them to fiery fiery Hell.


People with HPD tend to be completely over the top, clinging to family, friends and lovers like shit to a sheep's ass. When they are inevitably rejected for being the pains in the ass they are, they will go batshit crazy and do anything to get attention including falsely threatening suicide or killing pets and claiming it died in an accident. Any type of rejection will make them cry a river of emo tears, blame it on someone else, and go fuck a bunch of random strangers.

They also tend to try their hardest to obtain only certain jobs. Their preferred occupations include anything where they are in a position of power, which they get usually by blowing the manager, then projectile-vomiting their imaginary supremacy in everyone's faces. When confronted with their awful behavior, their last argument is always "ITS JUST BECAUSE UR JEALOUS!!!".


From the little research that has been done on the causes of slutty personality disorder, the most common theory is that the little whores were abused as children in one way or another. Another theory is that their parents were negligent cunts that failed to pay any sort of meaningful attention to their spawn and then doing nothing to correct the ultimately, unabashedly sluttish behavior the HPD-afflicted exhibit as early as 10.


Mufasa from YouTube Kimberly Champion (="Kim Champ) from Portland, Oregon


Outside of crossing the River Styx there is currently no treatment for HPD. Drugs don't help and group therapy only gives them another platform to show off their extremely interesting and unique personalities. Due to this unfortunate circumstance they continue to infest the tubes and clog them with their beautiful selves.

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Histrionic Personality Disorder is part of a series on Psychology
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See also:

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