Harlequin Ichthyosis Fetus

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Harlequin Ichthyosis.jpg
Little known fact:Harlequin fetus' also like rodeos

Harlequin Icthyosis, also known as "Snake Babies" or "Holy Shit I'm Getting An Abortion In Case I Give Birth To One Of Those Monsters!" is a skin disease characterized by making babies look like Marilyn Manson and die young -- so young they are still on The Virginmobile.

The details of the disease aren't really relevant, because the Harlequin Fetus is one of the Internet's most famous memes. It is a fact that every obstetrician starts to drool as soon as one of these monsters is dropped, because they are fucking delicious, especially deep fried. The crispy skin is especially prized by Mexicans because of their fondness for roast pig.

Harlequin babies have been considered one of the most lulz-inducing IRL pwns since landmines because the parents only find out after the baby is born. The existence of Harlequin babies has been used to support the theory that God loves practical jokes.

Have some more fun by relating it to dead baby jokes. There's nothing funnier than dead babies.

"SATAN'S BABY" Muslim E-Mail Chain[1]

The pictures along with a low res .3gp video of the birth of this blessed baby has been circulated among muslim Yahoo! groups in Indonesia, Malaysia, Bangladesh and Pakistan as "Satan's Baby". Apparently they haven't seen or heard of this medical condition, or their toweled heads have become an effective tinfoil hat.

Together with the video is an inserted text message which told recipients of the baby's lulzy 'origin'. It's is told that, the baby's parents were two unmarried muslim Arabs who made a sexy time during the holy month of Ramadan in the holy city of Mecca. This was considered by God as a sin, and Satan himself got into Mom's womb and began changing the baby into his own baby. Thus, he was born as a screaming, bloody hellspawn which was promptly named Al-Lucifer. At the end of the email, the author told the recipients that Doomsday is near, God hates fags, god hates jews and send it to 50 recipients in your address book or the floor will turn into lava. Anyone who refutes this email sent is promptly branded 'infidel'.


Harry The Harlequin Fetus


On Thursday, April the 5th, 1750, I went to see a most deplorable object of a child, born the night before of one Mary Evans in 'Chas'town. It was surprising to all who beheld it, and I scarcely know how to describe it. The skin was dry and hard and seemed to be cracked in many places, somewhat resembling the scales of a fish. The mouth was large and round and open. It had no external nose, but two holes where the nose should have been. The eyes appeared to be lumps of coagulated blood, turned out, about the bigness of a plum, ghastly to behold. It had no external ears, but holes where the ears should be. The hands and feet appeared to be swollen, were cramped up and felt quite hard. The back part of the head was much open. It made a strange kind of noise, very low, which I cannot describe. It lived about forty-eight hours and was alive when I saw it.


—Anon describes an encounter with a Harlequin Fetus.

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