Gravity

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In Book VII of his De Architectura, the Roman engineer and architect Vitruvius wrote;

 
 
If the quicksilver is poured into a vessel, and a stone weighing one hundred pounds is laid upon it, the stone swims on the surface, and cannot depress the liquid, nor break through, nor separate it. Although I could be lying.
 

 

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Galileo Galileo in turn discovered that if you drop a thin woman off the top of the Leaning Tower Of Pisa you will be prosecuted under the Law of 'Missing White Woman' Syndrome, whilst if you drop a fat woman off the top of the Leaning Tower Of Pisa nobody cares (unless they are directly underneath). Sir Isaac Newton added to this that you're better off not fucking either woman and instead eating a delicious apple instead. Professors of Linguistology point out that the word gravity shares linguistic roots with words such as gravid (fat pregnant woman), gravitas (woman with too much junk in the trunk) and gravy (the delicious juice from a freshly spit-roasted woman).

Since those days, however, Star Trek has invented the anti-gravity machine.

Gravity: The Social Network Site

For those looking for something different, four former MySpace executives have set up their own startup, ‘Gravity’ [1]. Gravity tells us that what makes their service different is by introducing you to people who share the same interests, whilst some of the features on this new site include adding, Twilight, powerful AIDS, portable midgets and much, much more. Let us hope that they pull it off, but can the internets bear the extra weight of yet another social networking site? ED decided to investigate.

How Heavy are the Internets?

Here are some answers:

  • Google says 500 million [2]
  • AboutCom says 1410 million to 1830 million [3]
  • SearchIslam says AL-Fajr : 3:41 Sunrise : 5:43 Al-Zuhr : 12:00 Al-Asr : 15:23 Al-Maghrib : 18:16 Al-Isha : 20:18 [4]
  • "Well, that's rather a silly question. The internet doesn't weigh anything." -Jen, The IT Crowd


However using Sir Isaac Newton and some sums the answer is, of course, 498438559990 kilos [5], the equivalent of 2.769 million blue whales laid end to end. Since the sun is 1.9891×10^30 kg and is only 2.5×10^17 km away, the internets is going to pull us all into a black hole.

Fun Things About Gravity

See Also


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Gravity is part of a series on:
WHY IS THERE AN ARTICLE?


Other pages that shouldn't exist:

Amiibo - Bacon and Eggs - Bad Article - BAHDUM TISH - BITCH WHAT THE FUCK - Blank Article - Boo - Booger - Chair - Chan Ho Park - Carmencurbstomp - Crossfire (board game) - DMV - Everywhere at the End of Time - Flags - Fourth wall - Fuck What You Heard - Gallium - GOTTA GO FAST - Green Onions - Ham - Hobosexual - Honey Bunches of Oats - Horizontal lines - I a£ so drink eight now - James Bond - Jar Jar Binks - Korean cry - Lawnmower - Lead - Lodizal - MAO - Nick Offerman - Nigger Kike Jew Jar - Nostradamus - Nuoh my god - Operation Madeupname - PAPER MARIO SCREENCAP - Parakeets - Pony - Ror - Sex Panther - Space - STOFlames - Take the meat bridge - Tele-marketers - The Warriors - Ultimate Muscle Roller Legend - Unidentified Rodian with jacket - WHERE IS THE ARTICLE? - WHO AM ARTICLE? - WHY IS THERE AN ARTICLE? - WHY IS THEY AN SYSOPS? - Wunderground


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