Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigationJump to search


Gtasa.jpg

Instead of being an actual GTA game, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas is just an angsty nigger Tamagotchi. You play as a nigger called CJ who chickens out after one of his brothers got killed, then has his mom killed by a rival gang. Long story short, he eats fried chicken, fucks insane women, eats fried chicken, gets a pink Mohawk, eats fried chicken, blows up police cars with a M4, eat fried chicken, help Eazy E steal boxes from the National Guard and has hot coffee with Samuel Jackson, never actually becomes a rapper (but other people insist he did), and did we mention eat fried chicken (srsly)?

This game also contains the failed meme known as OG Loc, who is to CJ what Weegee is to Mario. He makes no sense, is kinda disturbing, and nobody cares about him. Copying Weegeee even further, you go-kart race Oriental gentleman Loc and near the end, CJ gets to shoot him, but instead he takes his rhyme book and his record company. Anyway, as the story develops, you go to Las Vegas, shoot some azns, rob a bank with some azns, get rich and beautiful, however your crackhead nigger wants to stay at the hood and C-Jay is forced to go back to his dump and kill Jerkops. The game ends when you CJ finally kills Biggie Smalls and Officer Tenpenny. That didn't solve anything though, because CJ's mom is still dead and everything is still fucked up.

Also, you can get fat and ride bicycles to Liberty City.

Controversy

San Andreas generated a lot of lulz after a couple of 13-year-old boys found ways to make the lead playa fuck his girlfriend. Rockstar fangirl Jack Thompson became wet at the possibility of new lawsuits over the game enabling events such as fapping over pixelated sex. Rockstar pwned the prick's ass in GTA IV; he gets shot in the head whilst screaming "Guns don't kill people, video games do!...BANG!"

Hilary Clinton soiled her panties after seeing this, pulled out her tampon, and called for jihad against Rockstar.

To make it even more lulzy, Carl’s model doesn’t have a penis.

Quotes

   
 
I’ll have two number nines, a number nine large, a number nine large with extra dip, A number six large, Two number nines large, one with cheese with extra dip, A number six large, one with cheese, two number forty fives with extra dip, a number seven large, a number six, two number nines ones with cheese, and a large soda.


 


 
 

—Big Smoke

   
 
Does the Pope shit in the woods?


 


 
 

—Carl

   
 
Yeah, can I fuck your sister?


 


 
 

—Dying words of a cuck narc (Pulaski)

   
 
Man, that's some good shit


 


 
 

—Big Smoke, embracing his crack ass junkie side like the druggie fuck he is deep down after being absent for most of the game

   
 
What the cock-a-doodle fuck?


 


 
 

—Many of people's reactions after this hogwash

   
 
Shit, glad I don't pay no taxes.


 


 
 

—Not even going there

   
 
I don't want a nightstick up the ass.


 


 
 

—CJ, being tough shit with the jerkops

   
 
Can I interest you in some religion?


 


 
 

—When you ask a Christian if they'd wanna play this fuck fest

   
 
Who let you out of the mental home?


 


 
 

—Also what a Christian would ask you if you offer them to play this

Videos


How big was Big Smoke's order

Jack Thompson being a little bitch

Big Smoke Calls McDonalds

Follow the damn train

How 2pac died lol

2pac - Changes

Gallery

San Andreas gallery About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

See also

GTA

Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
is part of Gaming on
Grand Theft Auto

[WastedSteal car]

Article of the Now November 18 & 19, 2021
Preceded by
dropdatwat
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas Succeeded by
The Great Meme War