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Eastern Arctic Version of Playboy

The Government of the Northwest Territories (GNWT) is the occupying government of native lands in the far north of Canada. Presently the GNWT employs about 4,500 people (or roughly 10% of the population of the NWT). Dene Nation, the legitimate government, allows the GNWT to believe it is actually in charge.


Eastern Arctic Version of Playboy

The GNWT was established in 1898 by a special charter issued by the Parliament of Canada. Local members were appointed to the Legislative Council. During the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, there was an influx of South African whites migrating to Yellowknife. As a result the GNWT was rife with fascist, pro-apartheid types. Given that there was no black man for 3000 kilometers, they needed another group to oppress. An easy target was the North American Indian. So started a legacy of oppression and apartheid governance which continues to this day.

During both world wars, GNWT had its charter temporarily suspended by emergency parliamentary powers. This was due in part to the GNWT’s coziness with the Kaiser in the First World War and, to a much greater degree, Hitler during the Second World War. Historical documents reveal with the then premier of the NWT was involved in secret talks with the Empire of Japan during the Second World War. A secret negotiation provided that the GNWT would assist in destabilizing the Canadian regime and when Japan colonized Canada and the eastern portion of the Soviet Union, GNWT would be the supreme overseers of the arctic region.

During the post-war era, the GNWT was an instrumental key player in fighting communism. However, many historians contend that the GNWT supported certain communist causes to bring about regional instability, sewing a ripe plane for planting the seeds of neo-fascism.

The 1990s saw a civil war between the east and west portions of the Northwest Territories. Eastern dissidents objected to the GNWT outlawing human sex with polar bears. As an attempt to appease the eastern arctic, the GNWT passed a resolution lower the age of consent for males from 12 to 8. This was well-received, but experts say the GNWT’s timing was poor. After a campaign of guerilla warfare, the GNWT ceded the eastern arctic to the revolutionaries.

In an effort to improve their human rights record, they hired a human rights consultant from the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.


The structure of the GNWT is derived from features of the South African apartheid regime, Soviet Union and Nazi Germany.


Header text Header text
Office of the Supreme Leader
  • Reports matters to the Supreme Leader
  • Monitors all other parts of the GNWT
Department of Human Resources
  • In collaboration with the Department of Propaganda, recruits wokerbees
  • Provides “competent” advice to other departments on all personnel matters
  • Benefits Unit works close with the Department of Racial Purity to ensure maximum assistance is provided to racially desirable couples raising children
Department of Propaganda
  • Responsible for ensuring the public is provided only fair, objective and balanced information from licenced media outlets
  • Monitors all GNWT employee email accounts, social media posts and scribblings on bathroom stall doors at the Gold Range
Department of Children
  • Works with a variety of NGOs, including NAMBLA to ensure children are happy and loved
Department of Racial Purity
  • Ensures that the white race remains healthy and pure
  • Responsible for approving marriages between racially impure races
Overseers of Injuns
  • Provides fair, compassionate care for the North American Indian
  • Responsible for accommodation, education and healthcare
  • Works closely with Department of Children

Agencies, Department and Crown Corporations

Header text Header text
NWT Human Rights Commission
  • Established in 1933
  • Consulted human rights experts based in Burma, North Korea, Somalia and Uganda on how to best promote human rights
  • Fills the pockets of party members and their friends
  • Instrumental role in suppression of democracy

Human Rights Record

Sign at GNWT office

The Transparency Index ranks NWT as the lowest ranked when it comes to free speech, political corruption and independent judiciary. International experts describe the NWT as a totalitarian, Stalinist regime with a lower human rights record than North Korea.

NWT is the only remaining jurisdiction with miscegenation policies in place. The GNWT strictly monitors marriages between people. The strict racial purity formula used is based on the one created by Nazi Germany. Jim Crow laws are still largely enforced by the GNWT.

Affirmative Action Policy

GNWT Affirmative Action compliant job advertisement

The GNWT implemented an affirmative action program in the early 1950s. This program ensured that GNWT jobs were filled only with descendants of those indigenous whites. Given the shallow gene pool, the GNWT has the highest rate of inbred employees. Due to intense protest from GNWT employees, the HR Benefits Unit reversed its recent decision to no longer recognize civil unions between siblings or parents and their children.

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