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We can't make this shit up.
Trolls Trolling Trolls. Welcome to Furcadia.
Where Old Furfags and furry Otherkin and can meet!

Furcadia is the epitome of everything you've ever feared on the internetz. It is a furry themed MMORPG with no actual game elements created by some kike faggot named 'Felorin' around 1996. The "game" has not really been updated ever since, except to add more shit people need to pay to use. After over 12 years, the game is still in Beta.

The online gaming environment is non-game like, which is the main reason non-furry people do not play it. Seriously, there is no actual gameplay, Furcadia is not a game. It's really more like a mass furry grave waiting to happen. Warning, this game has been known to corrupt children's youth and turn them into homosexual-anthropomorphic animal loving nigger jews.

Furcadia's Staff

File:Furcadia Staff lul.png
A typical Furcadia Staff Meeting

Furcadia started with a staff of about seven: felorin, Talzhemir, Emerald Flame, Gar and a bunch of other sad fags making up Dragon's Eye Productions (DEP). Well, at least they used to be until about half the crew jumped ship to go somewhere more profitable. Now it's Emerald Flame and a few sad people she lied and whined at until they were guilt-tripped into working on Furcadia. The current team calls itself "Team Catnip", a name we're pretty sure nobody but Emerald Flame wanted.

The faggotry of Dragon's Eye Productions is near-legendary. Then again, with a name like that why wouldn't they be fags? Does the dragon's eye blink when filled with bukkake? Felorin surely knows.

They are known for

Felorin (Dr. Cat)


Felorin, aka David Shapiro[1], is a fag kike who is amazingly both Wapanese and Furry at the same time! His favorite hobbies include Truth or Dare (he Has his own Truth or Dare Pool in Furrabia), dressing as a Tabby cat in a Kimono, and trying to convince people he's cool.

Despite being marked as the "game's creator" and getting the most money out of everyone, he doesn't even really do anything anymore. His art sucks, he hasn't learned any new code in a decade, and he's too busy buttsexing Weeaboos to work. In fact, he leaves all the coding to Sanctimonious, a guy who already has a paying job elsewhere and could give a flying fuck less about Furcadia. Sanctimonious even lives in Europe, so any money DEP paid him would be worth about as much as toilet paper anyhow. Sanctimonious Quit!

Now the coding is done by Farrier Farrier Quit!, Douglas Martens ("Rhynn") Rhynn Quit!, and Tomáš Dolejší ("Reunion")Reunion Quit!, neither of whom can code, either. Felorin himself (aka Dr. Cat) has jumped ship to work for lol aps. More on that in a bit.

Perhaps the most horrifying thing about Felorin, AKA Dr. Cat, is that he was one of the designers of the original Ultima RPGs [2]. This is likely the reason why Furcadia's interface looks like the Ultima 6 game engine. The difference being that Furcadia is more like an immense chat room filled with people you hate and can't murder while Ultima was a game.

More Felorin


some of Talzhemir's better "Art"
More Typical Talzehemir "art"

AKA Amanda Dee [3] and/or Carolyn Danvers from Pflugerville, Texas according to eBay and Deviant Art. Until recently, she used to live in Austin, Texas.

Talzhemir is Furcadia's Artist...Or she used to be, before shuffling it all off on Emerald Flame, art stolen from others and used uncredited, and other sad people will not be paid.

Despite all of this, she still works really hard on Furcadia. Really, guyz! It's not like she's carving really ugly wands with dull kitchen knives, Playing Domain of Heroes, or Watching Chinese Opera on your dime! Seriously, Furcadia needs the money so she works really, really hard! HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS!

Still, despite being no longer the art lead, she keeps up with the latest technology. On June 4th, 2008 she created a thread to show off her incredibly up-to-date art skillz: What 3d Programs Do You Use? Apparently she's so out of touch she is making a poll to find good software to use... and deleted the moved thread within 8 hours of it's creation, though she forgot to delete the "moved" placeholder, showing all the world her epic fail.

She has been known for buying Bull Penis "For her Dog" and will complain very loudly if it's not 100% real bull penis. Her "pets" are more important than Furcadia is to her.

More Talzhemir, you say?

Emerald Flame

Her actual artwork. Everything on Furcadia is traced.

Protip: call her Cancer Girl. She loves it!

Katie Bazor [4] AKA Emerald Flame started out in about 1998 or 1999 as the self-important fairy/elf otherkin runner of the "Sanctuary", an elitist group that would only let friends of friends join their Rape Circle. She seems to mistake being part of a volunteer guild unrelated to the game staff as being on the staff and likes to claim she has been working for DEP the entire time.

Being the leader of the largest guild at the time was not enough attention for the attention whore and so, after several nights of sucking cum out of Talzhemir's fat ass, she was upgraded to staff member, then to "lead artist".

She is starting to shuffle the art duties off on other people, just like her forebearer did. What she does do is always half-assed: all her avatars have the same poses, many of which are simply flipped versions of the same damned pose. People still pay for it, even though it's obvious she's a lazy hack with a copy of photoshop.

When not drawing half-assed animals with shitty anatomy, she's Publicly attacking people over the forums and passing out arbitrary bans. Like all otherkin, her skin is thinner than July ice and it readily shows as apparently anything she dislikes is "trolling" while actual trolls go ignored. Alternatively, she may pretend to shit rainbows by covering her message with smilies as fake as the coon stripes in a scene kid's hair, but which somehow a lot of players take to be sincere.

The only reason she was not fired was because she's busy sucking Felorin's AIDS-riddled dick every single night. This brings up a scary question: Either the Magic of the Otherkin has made Felorin Straight, or is Emerald Flame is a Trap? More likely, it's just a sham done for the insurance, especially as the two no longer live in the same state and even have been "engaged" for years now.

With Talz gone, she has left Tiggerbaby to take up the art duties and now is trying to run the game herself.

Cancer Girls's Medical Saga

Cancer Girl can't go home for Xmas
Cancer Girl still Cancerous in 2009

Back in 2005, Katie Bazor caught cancer while working for DEP. Perhaps her otherkinness mixing with the fag rays from DEP was the cause; all we know is that she now has all the players of Furcadia paying for her medical bills "so she won't have to get a real job". She continually sucks the balls of the other staff while totally ignoring how she was forced to work and make public appearances instead of going home with her family during Christmas and getting cancer treatment.

In 2006, she starred in her own episode of House where she She Tripped Balls on medication while being treated for fluid-filled lung, paralyzed kidney, tears in her colon and other fun things that Gregory House thought were Lupus. Then she caught cancer again from more fag-ray exposure.

In 2009 she revealed she still hasn't fucking recovered from the cancer after over four years of treatment on the players' of Furcadia's dime. She didn't even get help for years after suspecting something was wrong with her Thyroid. This pushes the timetable of Cancer Girl's medical exploits back to at least 2003 and her IQ down to retarded.

Fun fact from an EDiot with thyroid cancer: her entire story is bullshit, as thyroid cancer is the easiest to get rid of and in no way should take four fucking years. Not to mention any idiot should be able to notice their neck swelling to the size of a basketball.

Then in 2016 she found out she had an irregular heart beat which lead to even more medical drama. She began to blame all of her health problems on the fact she has an irregular heart beat claiming that it caused her to have bronchitis, asthma, and pneumonia all at the same time even though those diseases have similar symptoms so it probably was just one of the above at most. What also can cause irregular heartbeat, weezing, shortness of breath and general feelings of illness? Being overweight and spending way too much time inactive on the computer doing Otherkin and Furry stuff. You know, what she does all day.

Then she had the heart surgery and everything got worse. She went home to a dusty cat-filled house and, shockingly, got a throat infection from where the incubation tube had to be run. The infection made her "inflammatory disease" go crazy and she claims that she doesn't handle anesthesia well. And did the surgery work? Nope: there's still irregular rhythms. She also later admitted that she has always had heart problems (probably from always being overweight). Expect Furcadia players to have to pay for more surgery in the future!

She also came out and admit she has "minimal brain dysfunction" which is fancy speak for ADD. This is her excuse for being a total bitch with no useful skills, oh and that the MAN kept her down. She also is a Feminist on top of being a soulless heathern and an otherkin. Remember: when you give Furcadia money you are enabling Emerald Flame.

Moar Cancer-Girl

DEP Photo Gallery

All images here are confirmed pictures of Furcadia's staff. Feel free to add more.

If you live in Texas, get lots of photos when they have a Picnic in October.

Holy Fuck, Emerald Flame RUNS FURCADIA

Let's do the math...

  • Felorin now works for Lolaps
  • "Amanda Dee" (Talzhemir) is also on other projects now
  • Cironir working with Felorin now.
  • Emerald Flame is the only one left despite the fact she has zero useful skills: SHE RUNS FURCADIA

So, if you hate what has been going on in Furcadia and want to keep sticking it to Emerald Flame, Felorin, and the rest of the furcadifags, boycott their new employers as well as Furcadia. While you're at it, feel free to contact their new employers and let the companies know the kinds of people they have just foolishly hired.

Also, all you current boycotters, keep up the good work. You're starting to hurt them and it's starting to show. Together, we can shut Furcadia down.

  • Lol Aps - Felorin's new employer. He works on "Revenwood Fair" and "Critter Island" among other projects.

What the fuck happened?

Felorin & Talzhemir leave Furcadia

On January 15, 2010, Felorin made a news post announcing that he has gotten a new full time job and that Emerald Flame was leaving to work elsewhere, too. He at first claimed it was no big deal as he and Talzhemir have had jobs outside of Furcadia in the past, then he said this...

We're going to be promoting some of our existing staff to take over many of our current duties. They all have projects planned to improve Furcadia, get you better customer service, some new features, and generally improve things for all of you. There will be a few changes to who you go to for asking for various kinds of help with things in the game. We hope you'll all have good experiences with them, and we want to thank Rei-Jin, Ryhn, Talzhemir, Cironir, Farrier, and Tiggerbaby for all they'll be doing to keep Furcadia fun & thriving.


Or at least that's what they said in the forums. In reality, Emerald Flame turned out to be unhireable by anyone with half a brain... that means nobody outside of the furry world wanted to hire a woman who claims to have cancer (even though she doesn't), has no useful skills and is batshit insane as well as very rude. Instead Talzhemir, you know the one with mediocre but viable skills, left and got hired. Everyone

Ok, if so the current staff has been "promoted", who is making all the decisions, handles all support requests, and will be doing all the development from now on? Ladies and gentlemen, Dr Cat/Felorin and Talzhemir have left the building! Even if the chain of command has changed expect all three to still be on Furcadia's Payroll despite the fact that they officially do nothing there now.

Welcome to "Team Catnip"!

With the core staff of Dragon's Eye Productions gone, Emerald Flame has created a new team to run Furcadia. A team with a name only an Otherkin like her could love: Team Catnip.

Here are the current sad fags that were nagged into working for Emerald Flame with little or no pay and our bets on how they will leave once they are sick of Cancer Girl just like everyone else.

  • Benjamin Jans ("Gar"): Works for Lolapps with Felorin, also the retard behind the main map "The Wylde": a map that is impossible to navigate, has no room for uploads, and is hated by pretty much everyone. In short, the map is a 100% failure. Furcadian for life because he fails at Life.
  • Kimone K. Osbourne ("Kashi Commodore"): A Brittish Nigger with health problems that is smarter than Cancer Girl, she actually did not want to be a Beekin, did not want to make the website, did not want to be moved up to staff... he didn't want anything to do with the game because it takes her away from her wife and child. She was whined at by Furcadifags until she caved in. Expect her to leave just like Sanctimonius did due to being European and sick of Bullshit.
  • Krisstoffer Sakurai ("Nijumi"): 19 year old Azn Emo in medical school doing Furcadia for Fun. Will be abandoning the game as soon as he realises being a doctor is more fun, pays better and doesn't require that he put up with Cancer Girl's Bullshit. Linked-In Profile
  • Mallory Schier ("Majas"): A 19 year old Pollak from Texas, the one actually doing the art. Remember: Emerald Flame can't actually draw, code, or anything else. She's just a leech soaking up the money.
  • M. Sparling-Sedlak ("Heimdall"): He quit Furcadia, only to be nagged back into playing. Knows all this is Bullshit and hopes Emerald Flame will drop dead. Will most likely quit again once out of college.
  • Richard Garcia ("Yasabu" or "Decimus" off Furcadia): Joined Furcadia less than a year ago and kissed ass into becoming staff. Claims to be a "website developer", even though Artex, Nijumi, and Kashi are all "Website guys". Actually is a DJ with a real music career, further lending proof to the fact he actually does nothing, just like cancer girl.
  • Slava Sheremet ("Artex"): Emerald Flame's pet jewish sand nigger. Used to kiss Talzhemir's ass, but now kisses hers. Apparently some sort of programmer even though his website skills have shown themselves to not be outside of web 1.0 in all the time he's been "on staff". Linked-In Profile.

Photos time!

"Gameplay" Details

Furcadia also doubles as a dating service.
Hyper-realistic pixel pr0ns!

Players choose pre-defined role-playing character images from a number of different animal species such as five-penised cows, dick-nippled squirrels, and shitting dick-nippled macro hermtaurs. These blobs of ugly pixels are referred to as "furres". Players can change their furre's description, increase their genitalia, and cover themselves in excrement, but their sexual orientation is fixed at gay male--no furry has ever thought of changing this.

Players can force their furres to assume three exciting sexual positions: sit, lay, and stand. Players can yiff in user-created maps called "dreams" and every character in the massive furry chat room is entitled to make their own fur-world with the fur-fantasy-feature. The local "Sex-map", Furrabian Nights, is literally clogged with these dreams. This is the height of everything gay about furries.

Of course, with all these sex-crazed furries running around, you're going to need some kind of authority figure to keep the piece. And that's where guardians and beekins (most likely a misspelling of "beacon") come in. At the head of staff are Felorin, Cironir, and Talzhemir. They keep the peace in Furcadia by establishing a Nazi government and permanently banning all who are any of the following (or a combination of the following):

A) Skinny,

B) "Mundane"/Non-Furry

C) One who opposes a dictatorship.

Any and all who do not kiss their fat asses mysteriously vanish.

Typical Furcadian Character Descriptions

Names have been removed to stop the morons from gloating that being featured on ED makes them famous

I am a slave to my hindpaw/foot addiction~ I can't help it. I am always looking for a dominant girl to come and control me with her feet, tease me, and most of all, have fun while doing it. I am constantly yiffy because of this.. I'm not looking for a relationship, just some fun.. Dominant ladies, if you'd like a foot slave, one willing to worship and massage your tired feet, whisper me~



—--Desperate Bastard

Painted ringlets of a candied hue flowed like the waves of an endless breeze at sea, teasing and kissing dimpled cheeks. Long lashes veiled lovely, starry eyes, sparkling with every captivating smile from dainty little doe, full of warmth, child-like energy, and a genuine sweetness. Hour-glass body ticked this way and that, with fluid, graceful movements - like the sunlight itself; covered with buttery fur, licks of ivory specking alternating patterns over each and every curve. She carried an unconscious poise... charming, exquisite girl seeming completely out of place, with dainty elegance and a heart of gold that drove innocence and purity to its utter finest. Oh, that darling (name)!



— -- Obviously a Trap

Please visit site for descripton as it is too long to fit here. Brief stats provided in this space. [Artic Kitsune] [appears 22, is roughly 330 years old] [mortal] [Trained fighter] [Para roleplayer] [seeking slaves & pets] [ [Passionate Slaver] [Consigliori]



—--lazy bastard here for the nookie.

A stand-out from all the other girlybois, this pink and white kitty was still in touch with his masculinity. Muscular body sculpted, from broad shoulders, strong, built arms, and firm, dense pecs over a flat stomach; certainly no pushover. Face disctinctly male even from the deep purple glitter eyeshadow and black eyeliner, pink glitter shadow above. Spikey hair dyed deep rose with black undertones and sideburns, chin tuft also dyed. Slight crossdresser, violet g-string peeks above women's low-rider jeans adorned in rhinestones hugging curvy hips and a squeezable, rotund rear, navel pierced. Pink jeweled collar and silver bangles accessorize.



—--Typical Furcadian guy

Ordinary Furcadian Chat

Bowser gets out.......telescope.
Bowser masterbates to doroku
Bowser continues to masterbate. O.o
Jaeme faps
Jaeme faps
Jaeme faps
Jaeme faps
Bowser faps
Bowser faps
Bowser faps
Bowser faps
Bowser faps
Jaeme faps
Bowser faps
Jaeme faps
Bowser faps
Bowser faps
Jaeme faps
Bowser faps
Jaeme faps
Bowser faps
Jaeme faps
Bowser faps
Bowser faps
Jaeme faps
Bowser faps
Jaeme faps
Bowser moans
Bowser moans
Bowser moans
Bowser moans
Bowser moans
Bowser moans
Bowser moans
Bowser moans
Bowser moans
Bowser moans
Bowser moans
Jaeme shrugs "well"
Bowser moans
Bowser moans
Bowser moans
Jaeme: I don't care either.
Jaeme: haha
Bowser orgasms.
Bowser orgasms.
Bowser orgasms.
Bowser orgasms.
Bowser orgasms.
Bowser orgasms.
Bowser orgasms.
Bowser orgasms.
Jaeme orgasms
Jaeme orgasms
Jaeme orgasms
Bowser dies
Jaeme orgasms
Jaeme tuches
Jaeme tuches
Jaeme tuches
Jaeme gropes *.*
Jaeme gropes *.*

Furcadia Furres You're Bound To Meet

If you're brave enough to download and "play" Furcadia (keeping in mind there is no actual gameplay) you'll be forced to meet with many types of individuals. (By many, I mean two.) These people like to pretentiously refer to themselves as "Furres" which is just a fancy word for furfag.


The Grammatically Impaired n00bs

These are the fresh-faced, thirteen year old furry-sex loving future crackwhores who can't spell and like to RP as Naruto, Bleach, or Inuyasha characters with cat ears having really bad Typefuck sessions while mommy isn't looking. They have no IRL friends and spend all day buffing their muffins to pictures of Sasuke with a dog tail. This is 50% of the Furcadia population.

Most populated area in the game.

The Biggest FurFags

The biggest furfags will play Furcadia and buy all the items (known as digos) and have tons of portraits with a description that mainly describes their fursona's boobs, penis, or vagina. About 90% of the furfags on this game are bisexual and enjoy yiffing. The furfags on Furcadia are usually fat bitches in real life. Fat people usually don't get dates, and most of the furfags have NEVER had a date in their entire life, which caused them to join Furc and make a shitty character they think is sexy and will soon find themselves in the Yiffy High School sexing with another fat person who pretends to be skinny and sexy.

The Roleplay Nazis

Furries aren't known for their skill in the English language. When most of Furcadia sounds like a lolcats convention, these are the people BAWWing about it. So, listen to the psychedelic wet dream of a scottsman and learn to use those fucking periods correctly!

The very same fucktards who complain about grammar are the ones who sit there and make three-page-long descriptions of squirrel dicks. Apparently it's high art to go on and on and to flood the screen with text for five or ten minutes at a time while they prattle on and on about the shape of an imaginary ass.

Strangely, flooding the screen with meaningless gibberish, harassing other users for fun ("they don't spell like I do!") and posting porn everywhere does not count as trolling in furcadia.

Notable Furcadifags

Their shit don't stink, but they'll rub your face into it. The best of the best, clearly, because they get the most pixel sex and over 9,000 fanarts.

Please use links only as there's enough fags here to have their own wiki!


Forever Free...

We can't make this shit up.
Why they make you pay for maps that used to be free...

Right about now you're probably thinking, "Oh god- I'd NEVER pay for that steaming pile of faggotry! Thank god Furcadia's slogan is Forever Free!"

Think again.

Digos started out as shitty wings for your furre that were instated to help pay server costs, but now these pay-to-use pieces of shit are overrunning the game... and the Biggest Furfags are buying them all for their Jew Gold! Here's a quick rundown of the shit people are paying for...

  • 6 kinds of wings.
  • 33 kinds of Regular animals for those dog-fuckers to sodomize.
  • 19 Otherkin-bait species like dragons and Unicorns with the ability to shit sparkles.
  • All the Free species with less shitty graphics ("noble" furres) plus some extra races thrown in for the lulz.
  • 13 Cookies (used to be free) and other "edibles" that self delete within a day or so of activation.
  • Portraits to show off their Mad Art skillz
  • Over 32 Tags: Pixel pictures that appear in their descriptions, rotating through the year.
  • Over 12 kinds of really stupid "seasonal" avatars like Flying Toasters.
  • Sponsorships (all of the above + beta testing and extra buttsex)
  • Dream Packages: bigger dreams, moar dragonspeak and phoenix speak and other shit they didn't used to limit.

...we're up to over 130 things already and that's just the tip of the iceberg. By the time you've read this they've probably added even more, many of which are totally useless or used to not cost any money. There even are advertisements that show up on your screen in-game unless you turn them off with an arcane command not written down anywhere on the site (Powerword: ignore @advertisements).

Why? Emerald Flame needs moar hookers and blow! "Forever Free" my ass.

The big graphics update & other lies

The staff of Furcadia love to Piss on their users and tell them it's raining and, the fags eat it up, even though it's entirely bullshit. Even the players are really fucking tired of their faggotry. This area will now proceed to expose DEP for the Lying sacks of shit they are. If you find more, add it!

Apparently Furcadia is finally trying to turn to 24 bit graphics, even though this is so outdated that it won't help much. But what are the details? It's all hush-hush with releasable date of "when it's done".

As to "never removing any features" or "never lessening any free features", remember that maps used to be 300x300 as default with the ability of going up to 600x600 and up to 999 lines of dragonspeak for FREE. Now you have to pay for a 300x300 map with the same amount of coding.

But the DEP staff needs the money! They work hard on Furcadia 24-7 to ensure the game runs well! They must make everything themselves! Their staff is so small, that's why it takes forever to get anything done! Talzhemir's Twitter will happily show that Furcadia is usually the least of her concerns and she, and the rest of the "Staff" are happily living on your Jew Gold. She would rather be carving Unbelievably Ugly Wands with dull kitchen knives than working on Furcadia.

But don't take our word for it, here's in their own words what your money is paying for... (there's a screenshot in the gallery to prove this is real)


DEP wants your Money.
  • Movie Nights for the staff
  • Housing, Entertainment and other stuff for the staff of 7-10 people (they say they don't want real jobs!)
  • Advertisements for Furcadia
  • Conventions with airfare and hotel rooms

The Full Text is here!

But what about the Digos? They must make those, right? Nope. In fact, a surprising number were taken, altered, then used without any credit whatsoever.

Digo AKA Pay Version = Artist name ("Patch's real name")

  • Dragon = Jagu/Israfel ("Dragon")
  • triwings = Kestrel ("archangel wings")
  • Bat wings = MedleyPony ("dragon wings").
  • Therian Tygard & Leonine = Kaelin'yFiae ("Feral Lion Set", taken before she was "hired")
  • Therian Leonine = Kaelin'yFiae ("Feral Lion Set", taken before she was "hired")
  • Woolie = Hellfire's Fury ("Feral Sheep")
  • The Nobles are being drawn by someone from outside DEP.
  • Upcoming Chibi Wings = Yoko ("Kiro Wing Patch")

There is a hidden credits list DEP doesn't want you to know about- They don't even link it from The main site, even though it's still hosted there to avoid lawsuit. It doesn't have all the artists credited, however, only the ones they stole directly from with zero alterations.

But the staff needs to be paid as they are professionals! Professionals cost money! Yeah, profressionals that started out as users and kissed ass to the top, most of which have quit as they got sick of Talzhemir and Emerald Flame's bullshit. Want to see professionalism in action? Check the gallery.

Gallery of LIES About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]


Trolls trolling trolls? Check. BAWWWing mods? Double check. A game made of nothing but fail? Welcome to Failcadia!

OMG-We got hacked!

After repeated warnings to the staff of Furcadia by a well-intentioned hacker that using shitty C language code from 1995 was insecure and easy to hack were totally ignored with replies that can be summed up as "We are professionals, we know what we are doing, so piss off." the hacker simply decided to show them how flawed their game is.

The hacker easily broke into the game on October 3, 2009, stole the admin Gar's password, and posted this message over the entire game:

Due to the fact of Furcadia "Guardians" Freaking out when I absolutely asked them not to due to the sheer fact of network security, I'm going to put this into my own hands for now. Every user of Furcadia: your passwords have been compromised, although by a perfectly honest person. While being so, some of you use the same passwords for your email accounts / paypal accounts or whatever else. Furcadia is going to be sieged by /b/ in a couple days from now. I suggest changing your passwords due too SQL Vulns and Simple Security Flaws none of which have yet to be fixed.


—The Hacker, posting as Gar

The hacker then banned all the mods and staff from the forums, and logged out. Over 9000 passwords were stolen and publicly posted, including a few of the staff members including Emerald Flame, Cironir, and Sanctimonious.

The hacker then continued to spread the Lulz with many more posts over the Furcadia systems. it took three days for them to get Gar's password fixed and over a week for everyone to be turned back to "normal", though there are silenced complaints about some people never getting their characters back as others stole the passwords and changed them.

""Anonymously" does not exist on the interwebz. Furcadia in a sense uses simple password encryption aka sha. It is a simple format unsalted. And unlike md5. Which easily parces 2,000 passwords every 92 or so seconds. With proper gpu bruteforceing. Meaning that if your like "lol coming on here too yiff. Lets use the same password as mai paypal account its secure I'm sure it is. It really isn't. It is very important that every furry that is getting this message too change your password asap. Or you are gonna get bank runned by /b/tards when they strike."



—--Furries don't know bout password safety

I see this has occurred at least on my side from every furry community that I have helped. Furaffinity being the big one there. All those "OMG HARDWARE FAILUREEZZ" Dealt with me showing them what the fuck was wrong with there hardware and them being ungrateful and indigenous pricks in the end. They simply use you and ban you. "Because you show a proper security threat." OMG THAT UILDIAR GUY AGAIN OH SHIT B&. Due to the pure ignorance and flaws of the "Internet community" They always blame something else when another issue really occurred. "Oh we had hardware failure". Government cover ups on teh interwebz? Omg epic news feedz!



—--Furries don't know bout network security

Simple to the fact.: I told the guardian "Hay i has root access / everything else." Cironir Simply replied "Lol block coverup. lol" But hey you can't block the system! :D 5$ says that guardian gets fired. This is the kind of PR furcadia wouldn't want. Everyone give Guardian Cironir a h5! "



— --Cironir don't know bout professionalism

And no I'm not a member of 4chan or some personal "Army" I'm a simple White Hat who is spreading a message. If I was the above I wouldn't even bother doing this, I would simply leak the source code amongst other things. - Oh shi! In all news. Change your Password. Hell I suggest shutting down furcadia till you (the staff) fix your shit because you are endangering over 4,000 active users at any given time. Now that isn't very nice, is it?



—-- The hacker lays down the law

The furfags Bawwwed in their forums until Felorin locked the thread and tried to pretend that everything was fixed and was going to be OK from now on.

Note to next guy who hacks the system: post passwords on /B/ and/or ED instead of on Furcadia and spread the game code everywhere for extra lulz and longer fix times!

Tied Up with a String

Just a few days before Christmas, 2009, Emerald Flame announced that a new update was on the way with buyable Human Avatars, even more animals for them to fuck, and portraits that allow the furfags to show their cum-stained characters in all their shit-filled glory! The new avatars were put on presale with the promise that they would be available for full use within a week when the update was posted.

The update never came.

Dozens of angry threads were deleted and Narnia, a longtime DEP ballsucker and the owner of the FAM, Furcadia's largest fansite, was banned for showing displeasure at DEP's rip-off scam. The pot was seething and ready to boil over as furfags began to realize they paid for shitty pixel art they can't even use and that despite the unusable nature the time on the expiration was still ticking. All it took was one tiny thing to set off a lollercaust!

What? No smoking?!?!

In a stupid move worthy of Facepalm, Emerald Flame released the new portrait rules and a thread for questions and answers about the upcoming new rules. According to the new rules, you can have your furry fucking in a field of weed and it's still PG, but if they are smoking anything at all (even the legal stuff) it's rated R. Oh, and no blood allowed around the babyfurs, either!

Over 5 pages of angry comments were deleted, all siting that it made no sense that something that people can do in public and is legal has higher restriction ranking than something that is illegal. Then, someone mentioned that animated portraits in Furcadia might cause seizures, to which the hypocrite Emerald Flame replied, "If you have seizures, GTFO the net. Lol." This caused a massive backlash against DEP's uncaring and unprofessional attitude, especially towards Emerald Flame.

Reap What You Sow, Emerald Flame

As Furcadia's weekend apparently starts on Sunday and ends on Monday, most the mods were offline leaving plenty of time for many threads all calling out Emerald Flame for the bitch she is to stack up hundreds of posts. Some were flames, appropriately enough, though the vast majority were logical posts mentioning that it's a really bad idea for DEP staff to be total bastards publicly as it ruins the company image. Felorin replied by saying that Furcadia Does listen to it's players and by White Knighting for Emerald Flame, revealing that she has the company by the balls and actually is the Cancer that is Killing Furcadia!

The staff of DEP then ignored the logic that letting Emerald Flame run things when she has Zero PR skills, is an obvious bitch who knows nothing about running a game and is also tripping out on bad meds is a bad thing and proceeded to point fingers at players, claiming all the anger and bad things going on with Furcadia was somehow their own fault. The first one to be blamed was Narnia; the guy who runs the largest Furcadia fan site and even brought Emerald Flame flowers when she was very sick yet still was ban hammered for suggesting that DEP reform their business practices. Wild accusations were flung by the DEP staff along with insults such as calling unrelated players Narnia's Bulldogs, many of which were hastily deleted.

When blaming Narnia failed to appease the people of Furcadia, Emerald Flame decided to blame someone who had been banned for months instead, Amy Gotcha, adding in thinly veiled threats to release personal information publicly. Obviously many people showing unhappy attitudes and seeking change must all be the same person for Furcadia is a perfect place with staff that can do no wrong! As this stupid accusation was a source of great lulz to anyone with a brain instead of a source of fear, Felorin locked all threads after a few minutes of Delete fucking everything and threatened banning if anything negative regarding the update or staff is discussed before the new update comes out.

Many Furcadians are encouraging each other to Boycott buying from Furcadia until Emerald Flame grows a brain. Ironically, the only thread that was supporting DEP through all of this was also locked.

No threads were ever unlocked even when the update came out over a month and a half late.

Dreamer's Day

Seeking even moar praise for their shitty pixel arts, a bunch of furcadifags led by Kaelin'yFiae created Dreamer's Day in 2009. The ego masturbation went on for weeks and the artists enjoyed the benefits. A 2010 Dreamer's Day was planned to be just as faggy and wanktastic as the one before it, but the guy who bought the domain for them to use saw this page and came to his senses.

To put a stop to the faggotry, the Dreamer's Day website was changed to a lulzy image link to this ED article. To prevent furfags from seeing it, Felorin lied claiming there was trojans there. Everyone BAWWWed over it loudly about Trojans in their Dreamer's Day then added a hyphen to the address making it http://www.dreamers-day.com. Let's see how long until that page is hijacked, too?

Once the furfag responsible got threatened with being banned from his precious fapterial he restored the link and went crying to his Diehard Fans about it.

Remember that 2010 Dreamer's Day? It was supposed to be in June of 2010, but the retard running the thing has their computer divide by zero, destroying everything (or at least that's what they said). Supposedly the backup files were given to another Furcadifag to let Dreamer's Day still happen. Well, it's obvious it's never going to happen as to this day there isn't even a date set and with "all the files" at least a date should have been reset. Still, even though it's obvious there won't be a Dreamer's Day 2010, people are still sitting there with their thumbs up their asses waiting.

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Trolling Furcadia

They don't recognize trolls here....

In a strange, unexpected turn of events, trolling Furcadia is actually quite difficult. Why? Every damn one of them is eager to join you. They are extremely easy to troll.

Furcadia furfags are quite capable of taking everything personally. Any direct insult to their character, portrait, or pictures of themselves IRL (if they have one) creates immediate lulz. Try a srs RP area and use poor grammar. Sexual harassment is also hilarious if done in public. Ask for yiff on a public map, especially with someone who's taken. They might ignore you, but their friends won't. They can also be spam sensitive. Talk with them in between spams, they'll bare with it longer and get more involved.

Generally, they cannot handle being trolled alone and will often have friends join them and try to speak up. At that point, you really don't have to say much, they'll do the spam for you.

Alternatively, Just get a large group of alts, block all access to some area (e.g. lay in front of doors, stand in a circle around a popular portal). This has recently been made against the TOS and may get you B&, however.

Other things they don't like:

  • "naming and shaming of other players on the forum"
  • Spreading IRL info about people
  • posting logfiles
  • Cyberrape
  • Posting Whisper files online (may get you b&, although Talzhemir says that posting Whispers to public areas on the game, as opposed to the forum, is A-okay)
  • "stealing" art and patches from others and not giving credit when patches/art is used.
  • Banning all black persons and jews from your dreams

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Featured article August 6, 2006
Preceded by
Mitchell Henderson
Furcadia Succeeded by
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