Friends of A-Log
These individuals troll softball targets and long since dried up and high profile lolcows, many parroting A-Log's classic 'segment of video, followed with reaction clip from anime series and a short diatribe on how they need to totally be ashamed of themselves' style of editing, and just like A-Log, a quick Googling reveals several of their own less than flattering quirks.
Despite this, each of these individuals fancy themselves expert commentators and virtually untouchable in the field of pwnage, genuinely thinking nothing of the piles upon piles of faggotry they leave in their wake as they dedicate hours worth of video provoking those they deem inferior.
These individuals are living proof that it is still possible to die alone, no matter how many of your fellow losers you surround yourself with on the Internet.
"Space Screamin'" John Quinteros Jr. is a smug, greasy, frog-faced little spic who served as A-Log's right hand man and frequent guest contributor to his commentaries before he eventually betrayed A-Log in the spring of 2012.
Like Anthony, John spent a great deal of time producing YouTube commentaries dissecting Chris-chan videos and elaborating in great detail how a retarded man is totally acting retarded. He also touched on such classics as Rebecca Black, Justin Bieber fans, Irate Gamer fans and whatever other variety of lulz came his way.
Unlike most of A-Log's little friends, John claims not to possess Asperger's syndrome or any other form of autism for that matter, which you could argue gives him no excuse for such a shocking lack of self-awareness. John is also a coward who frequently disables comments on his videos and, when he doesn't, is quick to block any who might voice dissenting opinions that his boring, unfunny videos are anything less than pure epic win.
—John, via his glass house
When he wasn't preoccupied thinking up furry smut or new ways of harassing nine year old children on YouTube and calling it a pwnage video, John could be coaxed into making unconvincing threats towards those trolling him; a threat he eventually dealt with by clearing out his YouTube channels, faking flagging attacks in order to move his operations to the relative safety of Blip while making it appear as though he was forced off because of continuous flaggings by people who couldn't deal with his pwnage.
SpaceScreaminJohn? SpaceScreaminBUTTHURT, more like.
Betrayal of A-Log and Pals
SpaceScreaminJohn eventually grew tired of his association with A-Log's faggotry and the troll attention his friendship with and defense of the man had brought him.
Shortly after a fellow member of A-Log's nakama, MsUmlaut sold the fat fuck out and defected to side of the trolls like a female, gothic Judas, John began contacting a few of A-Log's trolls in secret, providing them with information and several amusing secret recordings made of Skype calls with A-Log and the rest of the Sperg Squad, which were later leaked to /cwc/ to the amusement of all.
John then closed his YouTube account, seeking to distance himself from A-Log, and disappeared. His fate is currently unknown.
And he's single, ladies!
Hey, everyone I know in real life, watch me troll!
Like a snivelling little bitch, SpaceScreaminJohn begs YouTube for his account to be reinstated after false flagging attacks by trolls. YouTube told him to deal with it.
SpaceScreaminJudas answers some questions about A-Log for the trolls.
His YouTube pageBALEETED!
- Read John's classic fanfics
- His MySpace
- His Twitter
- PSN ID: spacemtfan - You could play vidya with SpaceScreaminJohn, but sadly, PS3 has no gaems.
- John betrays A-Log to the trolls
"Wacky" Ben Pulliam is a failed college radio host, whose lack of success on the soundwaves translated into him joining A-Log's pwnage funbunch resulting in dozens of videos and blogs railing cutting edge topics like (fucking shocker) Chris-chan, Jonas Brother fans, movie remakes, and reality television.
He is also offensively ugly, his droopy, flabby face giving him a look of permanent dopey lugubriousity and watching the greasy man-toad's videos was somewhat akin to sitting across from a creepy, sweaty, mouth breathing guy on the subway who won't stop staring at you.
An admitted autistic, Wacky Ben has cranked out repeated videos about Chris and related retards because of them making the real autistics look bad. The end result is an embarrassing mishmash of Ben spouting beaten to death jokes in addition to his terribly awkward attempts to come up with his own material.
After enduring a thorough bashing from various trolls, Wacky Ben eventually took down all of his YouTube videos, seeking to hide the evidence of his obvious failure from the eyes of the world. Nobody knows exactly when this mass removal happened, since nobody really gives enough of a shit about Wacky Ben, however, it was widely considered a case of too little, too late, as all of the most damning, lulzy videos had already been mirrored elsewhere.
Eventually, the wacky Mr. Pulliam reappeared on the 2nd of February, 2012, with a video update, attempting to explain his actions and outlining his ideas for the future of his channel. Likely still stinging from all the comments made about how ugly he is, the rectally annihilated greaseball did not show his face on camera and claimed that he never would again, henceforth only doing videos in audio format.
Wacky Ben also made some very odd statements in this video while explaining himself, most noticeably that he would not be doing commentary videos any more because, according to him, they usually end up being taken down after being false flagged by butthurt people. Observers noted however, that in Wacky Ben's case, he removed all of his videos himself.
It was also pointed out what an odd, uncanny coincidence it was that the YouTube commentary scene just suddenly stopped being fun and interesting for Spacky Ben around about the same time as this ED article appeared...
On the 20th of March, 2012, WackyBen86 closed his YouTube account. And nothing of value was lost.
His YouTube pageBALEETED!
- E-mail: [email protected]
- Radio Show Requests: [email protected]
- His Facebook
His Retro Junk profileBALEETED!
- His MadSpace
His LinkedIn profile - Yes, he actually referred to himself as 'Wacky Ben'. On LinkedIn.BALEETED!
Following a proud tradition, Dustin Hooper is yet another whiny autistic in A-Log's circle of trust that makes mocking videos of easy targets on YouTube to draw attention away from his own lulzteat.
An aspiring noise musician from Iowa, desperately trying to cultivate an aura of being creepy and mysterious just like his favorite band, Throbbing Gristle, NeuGristle87 (moar liek NeuFag87, amirite?) can be found taking time out of his video production to write vampire fanfics on deviantArt, create tired, unfunny Downfall memes and stuff his podgy face with junk food. Because of this, Dustin is just as susceptible to taunting as the LOLSCOWS as he himself is so quick to troll.
(Attempted) Betrayal of A-Log and Pals
On Sunday, the 25th of March, 2012, literally days after SpaceScreaminJohn betrayed A-Log and threw his lot in with the trolls on 789chan, a rattled NeuGristle87 attempted to redeem his character in their eyes as well.
However, lightning doesn't always strike the same place twice, as NeuGristle discovered for himself when things didn't quite go according to plan.
It was clear that things were off to a promising start when his would-be Q&A session with the trolls on /cwc/, intended to reveal A-Log's innermost secrets, began with a flurry of questions such as, "Who are you?", "How much do you love the cock?" and "Why is your main avatar a skinny animu girl, when in fact, you are a fat fuck from Iowa?"
Sensing that the crowd was against him, NeuGristle87 decided to change tack. He presented his brilliant plans for trolling A-Log by stealing the password to his YouTube account and holding it hostage unless his former friend made some videos of himself doing various embarrassing things. This, as the trolls were quick to point out, was a fucking retarded idea for numerous reasons - NeuGristle hadn't seemed to consider that A-Log might just ignore him and make another YouTube account or disappear from YouTube entirely rather than be further humiliated, resulting in the loss of a lolcow. Then, of course, there was the obvious question of how NeuGristle intended A-Log to upload the videos he'd made under duress without access to his YouTube account.
After being forced to admit that it was a dumb idea, NeuGristle proceeded to dump various pictures of furry fapart, depicting an anthropomorphic mare having sex with her own son, that A-Log had apparently enjoyed so much he'd decided to share with him, but was scolded harshly by the trolls who didn't want to see that shit. Trying again, he provided a few uninteresting chatlogs between he and A-Log which didn't reveal much that wasn't already known. NeuGristle later announced that he'd try to record some Skype calls with A-Log for /cwc/, as SpaceScreaminJohn had done, apparently forgetting that A-Log, a man known to be ridiculously paranoid about being trolled, lurks the very imageboard he was using to so publically announce his trolling plans.
As it became increasingly apparent that he had next to no dirt to share on A-Log, trolls managed to convince NeuGristle (who was by this time having some kind of retard panic attack) that the way to his salvation lay in providing some embarrassing information about himself instead. This culminated in NeuGristle87 providing /cwc/ with some delicious n00dz with his droopy, hair-covered man-tits and tiny, shriveled penis on full display.
- His YouTube page
- His Twitter
- His deviantArt
- His Flickr
- NeuGristle87 tries to get the trolls on side. The trolls are having none of it, however.
—The ever eloquent ISLAVERDE29, in a rare moment of self-awareness, before making fun of a man with an actually crippling mental disorder.
Who's this fine fellow, I hear you ask? Why, with his rakish good looks and effervescent charisma, you could be forgiven for thinking that this man whiles away his hours carefully crafting homemade nailbombs and/or luring children to his van with promises of candy, puppies and funny stories, but you'd be wrong.
This is ISLAVERDE29, (powerword Robert Price) a.k.a. Pricey, a twenty-six year old Puerto Rican man who suffers from autism and seems to have severe problems controlling his temper. Like the rest of the fine upstanding Aspergian citizens who huddle around Anthony LoGatto's YouTube hugbox, ISLAVERDE29 likes nothing better than to pollute the JewTubes with rant videos.
However, unlike the others, who's videos are typified by their failed attempts at humor, ISLAVERDE29's videos are marked by a sense of barely concealed, almost psychotic anger and contempt on his behalf, with ISLAVERDE29 scowling into his webcam and venting his immense amount of impotent rage at harmless, inoffensive retards like Sailormoonred1 because they're the ones making people with autism look bad. Not, y'know, the guy who their actions in no way affect but who, nevertheless, is making videos ranting about them on YouTube, screaming like he's just had his balls ripped off.
As well as psychotic tard rage, ISLAVERDE29's videos are also frequently punctuated by odd, awkward pauses where he struggles to come up with something else to say, as well as frequently belching, tripping over his own words and fidgeting awkwardly.
When he's not busy being hardcore on YouTube, ISLAVERDE29’s hobbies include Internet tough guyism, weeabooery, homophobia (just like someone else we know), misogyny, being, in his own words "single 4 life" (probably as a result of his aforementioned misogyny) and compensating for something. He also enjoys hockey and wrestling (watching, not playing, though, because he's a skinny little runt who knows he'd get smashed the fuck up if he tried that) and has an inexplicable 'spergic fascination with the thrilling world of public transit - possibly because of nostalgic memories of the shortbus that used to take him to school - and air travel.
Recently, ISLAVERDE29 made the amusing claim that the word 'sperg' is massively offensive hate speech and is to those with Asperger's Syndrome what the word 'nigger' is to black people. Ludicrous as that statement might be, it might've carried a little more weight had it come from someone who hadn't made YouTube video after YouTube video attacking a harmless, inoffensive retarded man that likes to play with Sailor Moon dolls and doesn't bother anybody else while doing so.
But, y'know, what else can you expect from a massive sperg like ISLAVERDE29?
MsUmlaut is a bisexual goth with Asperger's syndrome who
is WAS the token girl of the group, although since discovering just how deep the A-Log rabbithole goes she's taken great pains to distance herself from Chris-Chan 2.0 and his faggotry. Before realising the error of her ways, MsUmlaut spent most of her days chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool and then shootin' some B-ball outside of the school making AMVs and like the rest of A-Log's merry band, also used to make unfunny troll shielding commentaries and rant videos about Chris-Chan and other easy targets.
An example of MsUmlaut's shitty YouTube videos can be seen below, in a video where she made A-Log, Wacky Ben and NeuGristle watch some yaoi shota shit with an unpronouncable Japanese name and then recorded them freaking out over what are, essentially DRAWINGS of traps and gay sex. Because, y'know, A-Log and his pals are STRAIGHT and watching something like that is just awful and disturbing for them. When they see a dick, they just look away with a brief moment of being freaked out.
MsUmlaut would later reveal that this was possibly the only real positive memory she has of her time living amongst the mouthbreathers like Jane Goodall among the apes, because they were all so in awe of having an actual, real life girl to talk to that they were prepared to do absolutely anything to make her happy and, as such, she was able to make them suffer through stuff like this.
Unlike the rest of A-Log's dorky little friends who can just barely pass as human, MsUmlaut is actually fairly normal-looking and somewhat attractive (if you like the 'ugly Zoey Deschanel' look) and, as such, was the subject of much clumsy aspie flirtation from A-Log and his fellow virginal manchildren. ISLAVERDE29, that romantic soul and paragon of gentlemanly sensitivity, even confessed to having a crush on MsUmlaut on Valentine's Day but, unfortunately for him, was unsuccessful in his love quest.
It is believed that MsUmlaut has a fascination with the idea of being able to spurn the advances of socially awkward nerdy men (thus making her the epitome of 'Don't hit on me, silly boys!') because she is a drooling yaoi fangirl and knows she is not that hot, so most normal men wouldn't put up with her faggotry, which is why she has to resort to the company of A-Log and other retarded manchildren, the dregs of masculinity, to inflate her ego and make her feel good - hence her fanart depicting an idealised anime version of herself being stalked by Chris-Chan.
Despite the socially awkward advances of A-Log's nakama, MsUmlaut remained loyal to A-Log for quite some time, unaware of the true depths of depravity plumbed by the bloated lolcow. It was only when A-Log's ED page surfaced and the trolling of him began in earnest that MsUmlaut realized the true extent of what she had gotten herself into. Within minutes of discovering her own name included amongst the veritable rogue's gallery that makes up this very article, she closed her YouTube account, dropping off the face of the Earth and returned to her hugbox on deviantArt.
Betrayal of A-Log and Pals
On Monday, the 2nd of January, 2012, MsUmlaut resurfaced, this time on /cwc/ in full damage control mode, partaking in a Q&A in which she spilled the beans on her former friends, selling out A-Log and his band of brothers in exchange for leniency, endearing herself to the starving crackbabies of the board by providing them with their ambrosia - sweet, sweet, content, no matter how minor. As such, nowadays, in the eyes of many trolls, MsUmlaut is actually considered a pretty cool girl. Some argue, however, that MsUmlaut's actions that day were nothing more than troll shielding of the highest order, and that, even though she appeared to have learned her lesson and been scared straight by her inclusion on ED - that she is still guilty of faggotry, faggotry that should not be forgotten and that, furthermore, she should not be granted a full pardon.
- Skype: Lucida_Von_Tokkentakker
- Her MySpace
- Her deviantArt
- Her profile on Anime Music Videos.org
- Her Wii Friendcode: 1978-1943-4713 - Why not play Super Smash Bros with MsUmlaut?
- MsUmlaut sells out her former friends to the amusement of /cwc/
The Hardcore Kid
—The Hardcore Kid's catchphrase.
Now who's this guy? He wasn't previously from the old nakama. Well, sometime around 2012, A-Log's hugbox of troll shielding brothers-in-autism had completely fallen apart. After the betrayals of MsUmlaut and his one time BFF, SpaceScreaminJohn and Wacky Ben going into hiding (to say nothing of the desperate and miserable attempt of NeuGristle87 to distance himself from him), A-Log found himself with very few friends left. Alone, with nowhere to hide except for the looming shadow of his six-inch foxdick, his first objective was to construct a new hugbox for himself from which he could hurl his hypocritical vitriol at those he deems as inferior to himself without fear of reprisal. A lolcow, after all, never learns.
And this is where this young man enters the story. Hailing from New Jersey's finest autistic, special education schools is none other than Brandon Nichols a.k.a. The Hardcore Kid. A much more suitable name for him, however, would be the Tries Too Hard-core Kid, as just one look at Brandon Nichols reveals that, for all his posturing, underneath it all, he's just a chubby little milquetoast, peering out at the world from behind a cheap pair of shades, in front of a wall full of posters of bands, films and other pieces of pop culture he's far too young to have ever been a part of.
A self described 'hardcore guy' who loves watching children's programming such as My Little Pony, Thomas the Tank Engine and Robot Wars and doing commentaries on them, like most of the other commentators A-Log has bumped elbows with, the Hardcore Kid is another YouTube ranter whom Doug Walker has to answer for and, like most of Doug Walker's sycophantic fans, Hardcore Kid does boring commentaries on forgotten media from his childhood, along with some shitty acting in the beginning of his videos, including one of the worst British accents ever attempted by an Amerilard.
Hardcore Kid bemoans those dumb kids today, wasting all their time on the Internet...
Never mind that he's apparently wasted over three years of his life doing the exact same thing.
The Hardcore Kid first got linked to A-Log's dubious Internets legacy when he invited A-Log and a couple of other sweaty, mouth-breathing aspies to do 'The Most Smegged Up YouTube Failures' list, a video which featured softball targets such as Fred, Lifeinatent, TheAmazingAtheist and Coppercab. Hardcore Kid had no issue with commenting along with A-Log until he found out about A-Log's lolcow status, at which point he shit himself over the possibility of being trolled due to his connection with Mr. LoGatto and he quickly did another version of the now infamous 'Smegged Up YouTube Failures' list, in which he hastily edited out A-Log from the video, quickly distancing himself from the bloated lolcow in fear of being trolled like A-Log's previous e-friends.
To this day, Hardcore Kid still troll shields A-Log on Facebook and YouTube whenever he gets a chance to.
- His YouTube page
- His other YouTube page
- The trolls over at Media-Slayer.me have Hardcore Kid's number.
Honorable Mention: PaganDeathKnight - the Wannabe Friend of A-Log
On November 13th, 2011, a moth flickered too close to the flame of the ever spreading 'A-Log & Pals' inferno of failure.
PaganDeathKnight, a.k.a. "Paulus", a.k.a. Paul David Smith, 18, of Roanoke, Virginia, is not a true friend of A-Log, but an aspiring friend of A-Log, making him possibly even sadder than the rest of that fat faggot's nakama.
PaganDeathKnight learned about Chris-Chan on TV Tropes and suggested a collaboration to A-Log. He then descended into the CWCki forums where it became clear that, even among a group of furries, bronies and weeaboos who document the harrassment of a retard, he was something special.
He inaugurated what would be a brief yet momentous career at the forums by posting a thread requesting info about Megan Schroeder's whereabouts and her Nazi fetish. He then started another in which he offered his services as a CWC surveillance field agent, and yet a third where he suggested an elaborate Hellsing/CWC crossover involving a sexy Nazi Megan Schroeder.
He then demanded to know who had doxed him, but all he managed to do was get fellow forum member TacoWiz to confess to being a babyfur. The moderators, shocked and appalled at the faggotry, took PDK out behind the woodshed and put him down, and then declared that anyone else who became the subject of /cwc/'s attentions would be banned.
When the smoke had cleared, it was evident that PDK was a fount of lulz, combining a fanatical belief in the gods dreamt up by some ass-pounding faggots in the Classical era with a virulent hatred--verging on the genocidal--of Christians and the Irish. Unfortunately for him, his Facebook rantings about the decline of music, the evils of the Church, and the Irish untermenschen are frequently trolled by his family, especially his mother. Indeed, Paul's family seems to be his biggest trolls, as his ancestors made him part Irish. One can only hope that if he ever does launch a Final Solution to his Celtic Problem, he'd start with himself.
PaganDeathKnight became involved in a minor saga of his own when some trolls decided to kindly send him on a journey of self-reflection. After watching A-Log's anti-Chris-Chan Nazi propoganda videos for aspies, PaganDeathKnight developed an all-encompassing hatred of all things CWC and even vowed he would murder Chris solely based on the fact that the lolcow is well known among spergs for trashing autism's highly prestigious and honorable reputation.
In order to help PaganDeathKnight realize the sad irony of his fury, a few unimaginative trolls created an alliteratively named guido enemy determined to make Paulus shit himself, Michael "Moochie" Manna (Name later changed to protect the guilty.)
PaganDeathKnight was then tipped off by his lolcow-sympathizing 'L337 hacker buddies' that this testosterone-laced, spray tanned meathead was the one who had dropped his tasty dox into a fish tank of piranhas.
Only the inevitable could result and PaganDeathKnight got his very own personal Calling Out saga; rife with plenty of hilariously fake dox, PaganDeathKnight attempting to disguise the butthurt with a mock tough-guy routine, faked n00dz of our hero being sent to his mom at Christmas and even a blackmail video of a very hammered PaganDeathKnight slurring his way through the hit sensation, 'Plexiglass Toilet'
(Any parallels between him and Chris-Chan went virtually unnoticed until a valiant white knight stepped in and pointed out everything that any normal human would have deduced in seconds.)
Champthom, moderator of the CWCki Forums, responds to the explosion of faggotry.
PaganDeathKnight seems to believe that he can make money working as a Chris-Chan field agent, charging £25 a time for his efforts. I NEED PICTURES, PICTURES OF CHRIS-CHAN!!
PaganDeathKnight later attempted to redeem himself in the eyes of his tormentors by making a shitty attempt at a troll fic, a YouTube video where he explained how much he loves the Irish and a half-hearted attack on A-Log, but as expected of asspie scum like him, he failed miserably. He later took up the name of a minor character from those faggy Lemony Snicket books, Duncan Quagmire and attempted to troll A-Log, SpaceScreaminJohn and ISLAVERDE29 by feeding them false information and urging them to do a commentary about PaganDeathKnight claiming, in his own words, that 'He is the goth version of ADF'. However, he was ignored and no such commentary was ever made.
Currently, PaganDeathKnight can be found shamelessly namefagging on /cwc/ in a desperate attempt to get the trolls to like him. Most recently, he's written a new autismtastic fanfic about characters from Final Fantasy helping the Roman Empire fight an evil King Arthur and his hordes of bloodthirsty Celtic warriors, as well as running afoul of the Goblin King himself.
- /cwc/ discovers PDK
His YouTube channelBALEETED! His new YouTube channelBALEETED! The YouTube channel he used to troll A-Log and palsBALEETED!
- His Facebook
His deviantArtBALEETED! His other deviantArtBALEETED!
- His FanFiction.net Account
You can read his shitty fanfic here... But honestly, you shouldn't botherBALEETED!
By Our Powers Combined
Every now and again, A-Log will team up with his chucklefuck nakama and perform a commentary with them over Skype, like a sort of YouTube retard supergroup. When such an event occurs, the end result is a painfully unfunny spergfest of a video in which A-Log, SpaceScreaminJohn, Wackyben86 and countless other members of A-Log's circle of friends fall over eachother in their haste to make weak jokes and pop culture references. It makes every awkward, unfunny, poorly acted TGWTG crossover look like a masterclass of comedy. It is not merely abysmal, it is the Abyss.
A fine example of such faggotry can be seen below. Behold, four unattractive, basement-dwelling male virgins making fun of a slightly older, fatter, unattractive, basement-dwelling male virgin.
- Anthony 'A-Log' LoGatto - He's the leader of the bunch, you know him well.
- YouTube Commentaries
- YouTube Nobodies
- Troll shielding
- Asperger's Syndrome
- Unwarranted self-importance
- Christian Weston Chandler
- The Net Dwellers - Another aspie hugbox that NeuGristle87 is a member of.
- Hellsing920 - Boring, unfunny fat fuck reviewer that A-Log and his little pals all desperately aspire to be. Did we mention he's fat? Seriously fat? "I wash myself with a rag on a stick" fat?
- That Guy With The Glasses
Friends of A-Log is part of a series on YouTube.
Friends of A-Log is part of a series on
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