Emma Jones

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigationJump to search
Arabian jail... or some other way out??

Emma Jones was once your average British woman in the Middle East: prim, proper, and forever maintaining the necessary degree of vigilance lest an unwashed Arab grab her kicking and screaming off the street for a little multicultural surprise sex. Employed in the noble (if futile) practice of trying to teach Arab children to speak English rather than their godless jib-jab moonspeak, the twenty-four year old seemed to be making the best of a bad situation in Abu Dhabi... right up to the point where one of her co-workers searched for her on Failbook.

Little did Emma Jones know, she was about to be trolled to death.

N00ds? In MY United Arab Emirates?

Doing it right.

It seems that before she got on a plane to Camelsville, Emma had broken up with IT consultant Jamie Brayley. Being a responsible grown-up, Jamie reacted with what would usually be an unremarkable response for a man in his position: upload all the noods of his ex that he could get his hands on to The Internets, specifically Facebook.

When pwnt in this manner, most women go down the same predictable route: first BAWWWWWW, then a botched attempt at DMCA, followed by allegations that the ex almost raped them, and finally, acceptance that they have been put in their rightful place. Given that she was in Dubai, however, made the whole thing more dangerous for Emma Jones, because Muslim countries tend to take a more old-fashioned attitude to these sorts of things.

How do I avoided jail?

The images were brought to young Emma's attention at work one day, when a colleague casually stuffed a handful of Jew gold down her blouse and inquired about the going rate for a blowjorb. Because the only women in Sandniggerland who have anything under their burkas are prostitutes (right?), the mere existence of n00ds makes one a whore under UAE law! The punishment? Well, rape, obviously; and then prison. Undoubtedly followed by a lot moar rape.

She couldn't flee the country, because Abu Dhabi's 1337 camel-mounted police force would surely have it as top priority to hunt her down and stop her at the airport. What other choice, then? A sensible person might have calmed down, and decided that at worst a jaunt to the embassy to consult an attorney at lol may have been in order. But no. The daft cunt decided that the best solution was a final one, and chugged a bottle of drain cleaner.


What did we learn, children?

Sadly, this means the sandnigger children will not learn to English. But for the average slovenly netizan, there is at least one time-honored lesson to be derived from this moderately lulzy episode:


External Links


Emma Jones
is part of a series on
An Heroes


Crystal ShinkleDylann Storm RoofJeffree MoonLolo FerrariOperation YewtubeOwen WilsonPogoRooRex FowlerSirtom93The Great Sonic-cide of 2007Toaster SteveTumbles the Stairdragon

Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAdolf HitlerAlan TuringAmanda ToddAn HaloStephanie Michelle BrownAndrew KoenigAsa CoonBrandon CrispBrigit Lorena GonzalezBroady Paul LedetBruce "Satan Claus" PardoBudd DwyerCandyjunkieCharles BishopCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris DornerChristine ChubbuckChristopher FosterCho Seung-HuiCodey PorterDavid RitchesonDustin MichaelsDylan KleboldEmma JonesEric HarrisGeorge SodiniGizgizHannah BondHeath LedgerHunter S. ThompsonJake RobertsJames LeshkevichJarrad WillisJaylen FrybergJeff WeiseJenny GrantJiverly VoongJodie Gater and Stephanie GestierJoe StackJonathan Kendrick LewisJürgen ConingsKevin Neil WhitrickMarvin HeemeyerKlerckKurt CobainLeelah AlcornLivecorpseMatthias SchoormannMario FerreyraMegan MeierMercedes HerreraMitchell HendersonMr. HandsMatti SaariJosh BallardNghtmrchld26Nikki CatsourasOtoya YamaguchiPaula GoodspeedPekka-Eric AuvinenPhilip MarkoffQuentin HubbardRachele RuddRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRichard JeniRobert HawkinsRobin WilliamsRonnie McNuttRudolph ZurickSadie DavilaSam LeesonShane HalliganShaun DykesShawn WoolleyShayStephen KazmierczakStephen HuffStiletto oneTang YongmingTatiana the TigerTerry DavisThe An Heroes of BridgendTim KretschmerTony48219Tyler ClementiTyler DumstorfTyler PetersonWilliam Atchison

Related Pages

90 Day JaneAn hero dayask.fmAutoerotic asphyxiationColumbineGolden iPodHeaven's GateHigh ScoreHow to become an heroJeffrey EpsteinMydeathspacePseudocideShotgun mouthwashSuicideThreatening suicideVirginia Tech massacreWaco

Emma Jones
is part of a series on
Churchill Bulldog.jpg
The British
Our Rich Cultural Heritage [-+]
The United Kingdom [-+]