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Cat eyes.JPG
EmiNet = infected with GOTIS
You can help by not giving her any attention.

Seems innocent.

EmiNet is an IRC network started some time ago by a camwhore named Fb-favicon.png Emily Holzer aka Emi on irc. You will find Emi in her server irc.EmiNet.us on the channel #Emi (She can also be found in the Soulseek indie chat room going by the name EmiFoSho). No, we're not shitting you. It's ran by several overweight middle-aged Mexican meth addicts unsatisfied with their current relationships.

I'm half Jewish


Emi - various channels on various networks

emi, it only takes 15-20 seconds after you leave for the entire tinychat channel to clear out of all users


fiva - #emi

She also hangs out sometimes with all the drug addicted retarded faggots on irc.tripsit.me. her hostmask there is [email protected]

You can find her in #stims mostly, talking about her daddy issues, cold sores, and meth.

Humble Beginnings

Not to be confused with a certain kawaii crippled girl
Biskits the fatass pedophile thinks he is on the fast track to achieving the ultimate goal of laying a finger on Emi!

In the beginning there was a woman named Emily who decided to take her camwhoring skills and put them to the test on the tubular interwebz. Still not satisfied with her countless imgur and *chan posts, she had to create a sanctuary for her niche and creepy fanbase. And so, with a little research and a little whiteknight magic, she was able to join the great game of multiplayer notepad. Everything was going better than expected for a couple years as she rolled around the internet with her robust nipples, collecting neckbeards and kissless virgins like some sort of fucked up Katamari with GOTIS.

This parade of joyous self-gratifying victory was forced to a screeching halt. She stumbled upon the WTFuxNet IRC (on which you shall find ED's own glorious #ED channel) and attempted to gather up more fans, joining rooms such as #wiki, #doxbin, #rustleleague, #realniggas, and #coins. One hour later her full dox was leaked.

She received several fair warnings to fuck off already by the #realniggas crew, but she kept rejoining channels after being kicked, claiming she was looking for new friends. After some investigating, the #realniggas crew took the honorable job of making sure she got all the attention she could want.

Gaining Friends

This is one of the biggest cases of GOTIS I've ever seen


Delty - #realniggas

Here are some chatlogs for your amusement. Note her laughable attempts to gain friends.

In the following PM with brohno Emily seems quite confused. She didn't seem to realize that brohno was part of the entire fuckery. She must have forgotten her medication and/or was on meth (yes she really does meth - her whole family knows).

She's just looking for new friends, honestly!
[10:19:57] <Emi> hey
[10:20:03] <brohno> what
[10:22:43] <Emi> want to be friends?
[10:23:24] <brohno> what
[10:23:45] <brohno> are you suffering from stockholm syndrome now
[10:27:47] <Emi> No
[10:27:55] <Emi> Just want some new friends :/
[10:28:29] <brohno> why
[10:32:28] <Emi> I love new friends!
[10:35:40] <brohno> but why wont you be friends with LH and bonzi
[10:35:46] <brohno> you keep banning them :(
[10:38:37] <Emi> i's not mean
[10:38:40] <Emi> It's not me*
[10:38:43] <Emi> It's someone else
[10:38:48] <Emi> do you think they have good reason to be mean to me?
[10:40:43] <brohno> what the fuck am I reading
[10:40:57] <Emi> nvm bye
[10:40:59] <brohno> are you on a meth bender or something
[10:41:12] <Emi> no

Notice in the next chatlog how she thinks its necessary to share her favourite picture after LittleHiter just pasted her facebook link.

09:50 < Jaques> Emi: do you go by another name around here?
09:50 < LittleHitler> nah emi wouldnt do that
09:50 < LittleHitler> she needs all the attention she can get
09:51 < LittleHitler> she craves recognition for having tits
09:51 < Emi> Jaques: No
09:51 < Emi> I am new
09:52 < LittleHitler> heres her fb Jaques https://www.facebook.com/emily.holzer.3
09:52 < LittleHitler> have a wank to her face
09:52 < Jaques> how come you've connected to most active/interesting chans?
09:52 < Jaques> ASWER ME WHORE!
09:53 < Jaques> interesting...
09:53 < Jaques> but LittleHitler
09:53 < Jaques> does that pass as hot in the US?
09:53 < Jaques> shameshame
09:54 < LittleHitler> only to sad fat fucks she got rallied up in her fanboy channel
09:59 < Emi> http://i.imgur.com/v2M9hbO.jpg
09:59 < Emi> that is me
09:59 < LittleHitler> talking about craving attention
09:59 < LittleHitler> god damn
09:59 < LittleHitler> you'll be getting more than enough soon Emi :)
09:59 < Emi> haha
09:59 < Emi> aw come on
10:00 < Emi> I just wanted to show Jaques what I look like
10:00 < LittleHitler> well ofcourse you did
10:00 < LittleHitler> thats what bitches like you do
10:00 < LittleHitler> LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME
10:00 < Emi> come on LittleHitler
10:00 < Emi> Don't you think I'm cute?
10:01 < LittleHitler> sure ill inject heroin into your eyeballs, sow a dick above your cunt and fuck you in your asshole

that's some GOTIS if i ever seen it


asshurtmacfags - leet private haqr ircd

Emi's White Knights

A camwhore is nothing without her white knights, and Emi has plenty of men who would love nothing more than to rescue her from the horrible wrath of the #realniggas. As seen in these chatlogs, the white knights try very hard to get rid of these brave champions of the lulz. Unfortunately for Emi, when you dance with the #realniggas, you don't stop until the music ends.

Emi invited us to join irc.dopeshit.net, which is a very hardcore ircd. This invitation was by no means a trap to get our ip addresses and call the police cops. Notice how a certain non-hacker named rat tries to impress his favorite camwhore by copy pasting hostnames.

The precious sought after reward of the whiteknights.
07:27 -!- pimp [[email protected]] has joined #maryjane
07:27 -!- Topic for #maryjane: [SSL Port: 6697] Network Chat :: Request vhost on #vhost :: Problems directed to #help ::
07:27 -!- Topic set by MuffinMan [] [Sun Jan  5 19:45:58 2014]
07:27 [Users #maryjane]
07:27 [~Oxdeadbeef] [@critical] [@josh^ ] [%MuffinMan] [ ink           ] [ pimp]
07:27 [~rat       ] [@Emi     ] [@punx  ] [+maryjane ] [ jew           ]
07:27 [&marijuana ] [@fiva    ] [@shezza] [+Sith     ] [ Morgan_Freeman]
07:27 [&slimeball ] [@gash    ] [@spider] [ Greggor  ] [ negro1        ]
07:27 -!- Irssi: #maryjane: Total of 21 nicks [8 ops, 1 halfops, 2 voices, 10 normal]
07:27 -!- Channel #maryjane created Sun Nov  3 04:48:54 2013
07:27 -!- Irssi: Join to #maryjane was synced in 4 secs
07:27 < pimp> who wants to give emi's father a call
07:27 < negro1> Ill see if hes into scat as much as I am
07:27 < negro1> number plox
07:27 < pimp> better do it quick before the line is busy and clogged with all the gay men
07:28 < pimp> Peter J Holzer
07:28 < pimp> 760-723-7744
07:29 < pimp> rat
07:29 < pimp> fucking noob nigga
07:29 < pimp> with your mirc shit
07:29 < pimp> are you serious
07:29 < pimp> thought u was a baller nigga
07:29 <~rat> bitch
07:30 <~rat> nigga
07:30 <~rat> u wanna see a baller?
07:30 < pimp> no doubt
07:30 <~rat> [ 06:17:08am ]  · · Quits : brohno [ [email protected] ] : [ Ping timeout: 184 seconds ]
07:30 < Morgan_Freeman> answer the phone pls
07:30 <~rat> see ^
07:30 <~rat> now
07:30 <~rat> i show u again
07:30 <~rat> shes busy with me bruh
07:30 <~rat> i will own u and ur mothers trailers bruh
07:30 < negro1> lol rat
07:30 < pimp> what am i supposed to see nigga
07:30 < negro1> congradulations
07:30 < negro1> you copypasted
07:31 < negro1> my
07:31 < negro1> client
07:31 < negro1> exiting
07:31 < negro1> and timing out
07:31 < pimp> is this nigger serious?
07:31 < negro1> from switching tor nodes
07:31 < negro1> probably pimp
07:31 < negro1> nigga wouldnt last long on wtfux
07:31 < Morgan_Freeman> answer the phone pls
07:31 < pimp> nigga wouldnt last long in a fucking zoo hombre
07:31 < negro1> lol
07:32 <~rat> pimp
07:32 < pimp> whatup
07:32 <~rat> want me to make ur new ip ping out?
07:32 < pimp> sure
07:32 <~rat> since i just copy pasted
07:32 < Morgan_Freeman> answer the phone pls
07:33 < negro1> lol
07:33 < negro1> make my i
07:33 < negro1> p
07:33 < negro1> ping out
07:33 < negro1> without banning me and making me switch nodes
07:33 < negro1> 1337 haxor
07:33 < Morgan_Freeman> i told you they were hackers
07:33 < pimp> no shit man
07:33 < negro1> pimp you better be logging this
07:33 < negro1> this is too good
07:33 < pimp> lol word
07:33  * negro1 checks watch
07:34 < negro1> still waiting
07:34 < pimp> same
07:34 < pimp> what are you hoping to achieve when i timeout rat
07:34 <~rat> oh
07:34 < pimp> will you copy paste random shit furiously?
07:34 <~rat> high
07:34 <~rat> whos first
07:35 < negro1> me please
07:35 < pimp> negro1 this asshole is taking our mind off emi
07:35 < pimp> we're not done with that bitch yet
07:35 < pimp> lets continue with that first
07:35 < negro1> no
07:35 < negro1> but we will humor him
07:35 <~rat> byebye negro1
07:35 < negro1> for the moment
07:35 < pimp> then come back here and fuck these niggas up
07:35 < negro1> pizza places dont open up
07:35 < negro1> until 11 am anyway
07:35 < pimp> rat: make sure to thank emi when your parents are being harrassed by gay men at night
07:35 < negro1> rat hello
07:35 < negro1> im still here
07:36 < negro1> emi
07:36 [Users #maryjane]
07:36 [~Oxdeadbeef] [@critical] [@josh^ ] [%MuffinMan] [ ink           ] [ pimp]
07:36 [~rat       ] [@Emi     ] [@punx  ] [+maryjane ] [ jew           ]
07:36 [&marijuana ] [@fiva    ] [@shezza] [+Sith     ] [ Morgan_Freeman]
07:36 [&slimeball ] [@gash    ] [@spider] [ Greggor  ] [ negro1        ]
07:36 -!- Irssi: #maryjane: Total of 21 nicks [8 ops, 1 halfops, 2 voices, 10 normal]
07:36 < negro1> we are going to do it twice as bad to you
07:36 < negro1> if rat doesnt deliver
07:36 < negro1> and make me timeout
07:36 < negro1> also good luck ddosing a tor node
07:36 < pimp> shit these bitches aint shit
07:36 < negro1> you fucking skid
07:36 -!- negro1 [[email protected]] has quit [Killed (rat (i still got /kill))]
07:36 < Morgan_Freeman> answer the phone pls
07:36 < pimp> lol
07:37 -!- brohno [[email protected]] has joined #maryjane
07:38 < pimp> fuck it, ima continue fucking emi up the ass
07:38 < pimp> this is some boring shit brohno
07:38 < brohno> lol he  disconnected me by force
07:38 < pimp> i thought these niggas was ballers
07:38 < brohno> and pinged me at first
07:38 < brohno> what
07:38 < brohno> a
07:38 < pimp> no shit
07:38 < brohno> fucking
07:38 < brohno> disapointment
07:38 < brohno> rat step your game up
07:38 < brohno> we're out of here
07:38 < pimp> Emi: this the best you can do?
07:38 < pimp> sad
07:38 < pimp> we'll come back
07:38 < brohno> and emi you can expect repayment for wasting our time
07:38 < pimp> after fucking over emi
07:38 < pimp> and you're next rat
07:38 -!- brohno [[email protected]] has quit [Quit: ]

Survivors of this digital badassery counted themselves lucky to be alive. Emily's white knights are super 1337 haxxors!

[19:47] <Ziginox> I've never hacked anything other than by some social engineering
[19:48] <EmiSuckedMeOff> >_> really?
[19:48] <EmiSuckedMeOff> what'd you do with social engineering cutie
[19:48] <dblocklikescock> 0 day exploit
[19:48] <EmiSuckedMeOff> o_O
[19:48] <Ziginox> school passwords
[19:48] <Ziginox> I never used them though
[19:49] <EmiSuckedMeOff> so they were like teacher passwords?
[19:50] <Ziginox> administrator passwords, domain password
[19:50] <Ziginox> stuff like that

After fucking around in #emi on irc.eminet.us for a while and getting 30+ bans by white-knights juggernaut and creeper, the trolls decided to let loose maniac pastor on #emi. Here a small snippet from the lovely chats.

<Emi> I love new friends!!
07:12 < pastor> i walk through motherfuckin hell screamin thuglife
07:12 < pastor> sold my soul to the devil
07:14 < pastor> they dont let me in no church
07:16 <&fiva-> join me for 48hrs silent prayer
07:16 < pastor> ill be in the backseat of your truck with duc tape stretched out
07:16 <&fiva-> its where we dont pray for a full 48hrs
07:16 < pastor> tape ya, rape ya n kill ya
07:17 < pastor> no one to save ya
07:18 < pastor> 6
07:18 < pastor> 6
07:18 < pastor> 6
07:19 < pastor> ill make you slit your wrists and bathe in your own fucking blood

07:27 < pastor> why dont you ask Emi how shes enjoying her #realniggas/ED ride
07:28 < pastor> ill put u next emi in her bath tub cunt
07:29 < pastor> make you choke on her blood
07:29 < bara> lol
07:29 < pastor> 6
07:29 < pastor> 6
07:29 < pastor> 6
07:29 < bara> You don't sound like a real priest.
07:29 <+Niger> hey where is the rhyme
07:29 < pastor> im like the monster of loch ness
07:29 < pastor> my rhymes need to process
07:30 < bara> oh that's really really bad.
07:30 <~Emi> ney niteshade
07:30 <~Emi> hey*
07:30 <~Emi> sup
07:30 <~Emi> Oh wb bara
07:30 < niteshade> highyas Emi
07:30 <@Biffjavel> \o
07:30 <~Emi> we're all on cam
07:30 <~Emi> http://tinychat.com/ne1want2cam
07:30 < bara> hi Emi
07:30 <@Biffjavel> to many cams
07:32 < pastor> niteshade do you enjoy bathing in blood
07:32 < niteshade> it's different living your life on camera
07:32 < pastor> ill sent you the razor Emi, compliments of #realniggas
07:32 < niteshade> why yes, yes I do... I especially like it when it starts to get clotty and I can splash the clots around the tub
07:32 < pastor> should visit Emi then niteshade
07:33 < pastor> wont be long now
07:33 < pastor> play with her blood
07:33 < pastor> take some pix for me would you
07:33 < pastor> write 666 on the wall with her blood
07:34 < pastor> im going to make you call your father up crying Emi
07:34 < pastor> just before you slit yourself with the razor ill send you
07:34 <%lympus> http://tinychat.com/ne1want2cam
07:35 < pastor> think im stupid bitches
07:35 < pastor> fucking helpless ass niggas
07:35 < pastor> 6
07:35 < pastor> 6
07:35 < pastor> 6

Unfortunately for her, Emily cheerfully continued camwhoring and inviting people into her rotten tinychat session. They knew right away this whore requires more drastic measures to be taught a lesson.

A Noble Deed

The #realniggas crew thought it would be a great noble deed to help Emi out with her quest for attention, so they decided to up the stakes. The consequences will never be the same. Not only will she receive numerous calls from priests from churches in her area that will help her remove the attention demon out of her, she will no doubt also enjoy the horny men calling her up to request an intimate encounter with her.


<@juggernaut> she's just being herself


random whiteknight (Timothy Crain, fat ass 44 year old loser) - #emi

Here's Emi chatting in #emi after getting her first exciting call!

04:11 <~Emi> FUCK
04:12 <+Niger> you? the master of vagina lost interest?
04:12 <~Emi> do you guys know what mingle is?
04:12 <+Niger> yes
04:12 <~Emi> some asshole put an ad up there
04:12 <~Emi> wiht my number
04:12 <~Emi> how do I get it off?
04:12 <@juggernaut> we had a huge pile of crack rock on the table and i was like "hey ... um, so there's this one girl whom i think you should meet she
                    really likes you"
04:12 <+pocky1> emi where
04:12 <&fiva-> whats mingle, like craigslist?
04:12 <+pocky1> can you file a complaint?
04:12 <+pocky1> yea which site
04:12 <+Niger> Emi: cant, and they also put up an ad with your dads number up, and another one of you somewhere else
04:12 <+pocky1> w t f
04:12 <@juggernaut> christian mingle
04:12 <@juggernaut> where you find gods perfect match for you
04:12 <~Emi> Niger: how do you know?
04:13 <@juggernaut> that one
04:13 <+pocky1> christiandingle
04:13 <&fiva-> Emz: once the cat is out of the bag..... :/
04:13 <+Niger> Emi: because i was watching them talk about it
04:13 <@juggernaut> emi's dad strikes me as a man of reason but under no circumstances should you underestimate a mad dad
04:14 <+Niger> what is he going to do, punch the internet?
04:14 <@juggernaut> you think violence will solve this shit
04:14 <@juggernaut> lol
04:14 <@juggernaut> he'll go litigious
04:14 <+Niger> and sue the internet?
04:14 <@YYZ> lol Emi
04:14 <@juggernaut> the best way to destroy a man is steal his money
04:15 <@YYZ> Emi, you've created such a mess just from EmiNet and all the hackers/spammers/ddosers/emailers
04:15 <@juggernaut> yyz i have to stick up for emi on this one
04:15 <~Emi> Haha yeah
04:16 <@juggernaut> she didn't create anything
04:16 <@juggernaut> she's just being herself

But wait! There's moar!

They wouldn't be called #realniggas if we didn't go that extra mile. They personally arranged for Emi to receive the following within the next few days of writing this article: qurans, condoms, bibles, navy recruitment pamphlets (lots) and cult pamphlets (they forgot which cult). As icing on the cake Emi will also receive several delicious pizzas delivered right to her doorstep, courtesy of #realniggas.

Now you would think this would be enough attention for Emily. However, the trolls have generously provided a trip for two. Emi will surely be delighted to tell her dad about his brand new *Gay Dating profile! Free of charge. Congratulations Peter! You can thank your hard working daughter for these treats!


The Abuse Saga of Emi

<~Emi> I was smoking meth on cam last night


Emi - #emi

<Emi> I am not a heavy user!
<Emi> I have done 2 grams in 2 weeks



Emi - always keeping it real.

[21:43] <dblocklikescock> i would never say this to her or in channel, but that behavior... it makes you wonder if she was molested or something sexual happened to her when she was growing up
[21:43] <dblocklikescock> :(



— Sysops on Eminet express their concern


If you read this article carefully you will notice Emi is having "meth problems". Naturally the #realniggas crew is worried about this, so they took the liberty to set up a weekly public NA meeting at her address in Fallbrook on Fridays at 7:30 PM. One can only hope the seasoned addiction professionals can aid Emi in her life struggles so that she may one day see her name on a job application rather than as the poster child for "Face of Meth".

We have also left her contact information at several addiction treatment centers. Emi, there is still hope! Please accept the help several people are going to offer you.

We also left her contact information at gay and suicidal hotlines, just to be safe. God bless.

< RickTheBeard> shes the prettiest junkie i ever seen


random fanboy - #emi

Personality Disorders

We found results of a personality test she did back in 2009 on her MySpace page. The results did not shock us.

Emily holzer personality test.jpg

Sexual Abuse???

To confirm our fears, her community divulged their working theory that perhaps she was sexually molested as a child, which explains the root of all her problems.

[21:26] <pocky1> i don't agree with this webpage but its hard to defend someone who does constantly infodrop herself andspam for the attn of others :/
[21:28] <mrbraindead> yeah well, i wonder if she ever learned about internet safety growing up
[21:28] <pocky1> doubt it. sigh
[21:28] <pocky1> i don't think the drugs are helping much
[21:29] <mrbraindead> well, lol, i don't think IRC is really helping her much either
[21:32] * pocky1 is now known as dblocklikescock
[21:40] <mrbraindead> didn't know she actually had a drug problem though. i thought that she was kidding
[21:40] <dblocklikescock> nah i think she has a drug prob
[21:41] <mrbraindead> meth? i'm just assuming since she mentioned it before
[21:42] <dblocklikescock> i think it's just meth, but then i heard she has done sexual stuff like bj's on cam? and she's too easy to distro her info with strangers. it's really not healthy, man. the way she seeks out attention... it's disturbing.
[21:43] <dblocklikescock> i would never say this to her or in channel, but that behavior... it makes you wonder if she was molested or something sexual happened to her when she was growing up
[21:43] <dblocklikescock> :(

Doing God's Work

<Emi> hay guys, is this a good angle for me you think??

Flowjob, being a concerned citizen, did his part to try and steer her in the right direction. Hilarity ensues when she defends her meth habit and ultimately offers up herself as a private camwhore.

[21:22] <Emi> I mean, they don't understand what's funny about me getting storm to ddos for me
[21:23] <Flowjob> I think its hilarious
[21:23] <Flowjob> I just have no clue how you did it
[21:23] <Emi> It is pretty funny
[21:23] <Emi> Haha
[21:23] <Emi> It's a good story 
[21:23] <Emi> There's a plot!
[21:23] <Flowjob> Oh?
[21:24] <Emi> Well... kind of... like first rat says he'll fuck you guys up
[21:24] <Emi> then it's storm
[21:24] <Emi> then the drama happens with jihad
[21:24] <Emi> Then it all resolves when I face myself
[21:24] <Emi> at the end
[21:24] <Emi> LOL
[21:27] <Flowjob> jihad isn't going to bat an eyelash, you know that right
[21:27] <Flowjob> Resolutions are really whatever you decide. They're always subjective
[21:28] <Emi> Right... well, I'm just saying how it was portrayed on the ED page
[21:29] <Flowjob> Because being introspective is a scary thing, wouldn't you agree?
[21:29] <Flowjob> There are people on your network
[21:29] <Flowjob> Legitimately worried about your amphetamine habit
[21:30] <Flowjob> Doesn't that speak volumes to you
[21:30] <Emi> Not really...
[21:30] <Emi> People hear the word meth and they immediately think of a tweaker strung out for weeks
[21:30] <Emi> Stealing shit, picking his face
[21:30] <Emi> I never stay up more than like 3 days
[21:31] <Emi> I know it's still bad
[21:31] <Emi> and I should not use it
[21:31] <Emi> but I think people have it exaggerated in their minds
[21:31] <Emi> There's a huge stigma attached to meth... rightfully so..
[21:31] <Emi> but it doesn't mean that all meth users are the stereotypical kind
[21:35] <Flowjob> Downplaying and cherry picking
[21:35] <Flowjob> are really good ways to die
[21:36] <Emi> I am not a heavy user!
[21:36] <Flowjob> You need an entire network of 70+ people to reaffirm your worth because you're incapable of doing it yourself
[21:36] <Emi> I have done 2 grams in 2 weeks
[21:36] <Emi> That is not a heavy habit
[21:36] <Emi> It's not like that, really
[21:36] <Emi> Honestly, it's just a place to chat 
[21:36] <Emi> It's fun
[21:37] <Emi> I bring my friends together
[21:37] <Flowjob> I know thats what you think, and maybe that's how it started
[21:37] <Emi> It's not like people tell me omg Emi you're so beautiful and smart
[21:37] <Flowjob> But we don't attack groups of friends
[21:37] <Flowjob> We wouldn't be wasting our time
[21:38] <Emi> I really don't know why we were targeted
[21:38] <Emi> Yeah, it seems like a server full of a bunch of fawners when you guys show up and attack me
[21:38] <Emi> What are my friends going to do?  Join in?
[21:38] <Emi> No, they're going to defend me
[21:40] <Flowjob> Every time I look in the chats
[21:40] <Flowjob> I see half-assed whining from your community
[21:40] <Flowjob> They say just enough to appease you
[21:40] <Flowjob> You have stalkers and fanboys
[21:40] <Flowjob> MAYBE storm would be considered a friend
[21:41] <Flowjob> He's not doing a small thing by ddosing wtfux
[21:41] <Flowjob> But I wouldn't trust the rest of those faggots in that chatroom if I were in your position
[21:41] <Flowjob> Because they will all abandon you the minute you stop masturbating them
[21:42] <Emi> I don't do that though
[21:42] <Emi> That's the thing
[21:42] <Emi> I only have those pics of my tits
[21:42] <Flowjob> Emi look at your article
[21:42] <Flowjob> Yes
[21:42] <Flowjob> You're teasing them
[21:42] <Flowjob> That's not a friendship thing. That's a casual sex romance thing
[21:42] <Emi> Well, some are legitimate friends
[21:43] <Emi> Like creeper, he's not really sexually attracted to me but he's just a super nice guy and was willing to host for me and set up ipv6 and stuff
[21:43] <Emi> juggernaut probably wants to bang me but he also cares
[21:43] <Emi> fiva too
[21:43] <Flowjob> If creeper isn't gay
[21:43] <Flowjob> He's lying to you
[21:43] <Flowjob> I'm telling you that as a fact
[21:43] <Emi> He says he likes blondes with smaller tits
[21:43] <Emi> Haha
[21:44] <Flowjob> Let me ask you a question
[21:44] <Emi> Have you ever considered that some people might actually like me as a person?
[21:44] <Flowjob> Do you think creeper is intelligent
[21:44] <Emi> I'm not that terrible 
[21:44] <Flowjob> It has nothing to do with being a nice person or a terrible person
[21:44] <Emi> He seems pretty smart to me
[21:45] <Emi> I haven't had like Philosophical Discussions with him
[21:45] <Flowjob> You're easy to manipulate, and people like creeper is exploiting that
[21:45] <Emi> so I don't know about his intelligence in that area 
[21:45] <Flowjob> I've been doing this for a long time
[21:45] <Flowjob> At a glance I know immediately
[21:45] <Emi> and it is hard for me to determine if his technical knowledge is decent as I have 0 myself, but you can tell he's not a dumbass 
[21:45] <Flowjob> Nearly everyone in that room is exploiting the shit out of you because you're letting it happen
[21:45] <Flowjob> the ED article is making fun of you because of THAT
[21:46] <Emi> How are they exploiting me?
[21:46] <Flowjob> THAT is what the ED article is about
[21:46] <Flowjob> [21:46] <Emi> How are they exploiting me?
[21:46] <Flowjob> Thats a big question
[21:46] <Flowjob> Ask yourself
[21:46] <Flowjob> Because I cant answer it for you 
[21:46] <Flowjob> or you wont learn dick
[21:46] <Emi> I do realize that a lot of them are trolling me
[21:46] <Emi> and are here for pics 
[21:46] <Emi> but a lot of them are here because we're friends and they like talking to me 
[21:47] <Emi> Why is that so hard to accept?
[21:57] <Emi> did you leave?
[21:58] <Flowjob> No
[21:59] <Emi> Let's cam
[21:59] <Emi> I am a cam whore 
[22:00] <Emi> It's what I do
[22:05] <Emi> No!?
[22:05] <Flowjob> grab a sharpie
[22:05] <Emi> Haha sharpie in ass?
[22:05] <Emi> No
[22:05] <Flowjob> Nah
[22:05] <Emi> Want me to cum for you?
[22:05] <Flowjob> Just to write on yourself
[22:05] <Emi> Is it bad that I get off on guys getting off to me doing slutty things over the internet?
[22:06] <Emi> Haha
[22:07] <Flowjob> http://tinychat.com/realniggass
[22:08] <Flowjob> Dont bring your "friends"
[22:09] <Emi> Hah ak

Final Moments on TinyChat

She showed up on the tinychat fully clothed and entirely refusing to have any sexy time. Flowjob was naturally upset by her distinct lack of tits.

flowjob: you're a camwhore that cant whore right
flowjob: you have three options
flowjob: 1) Write our 5 names, plus #realniggas on your tits, and we'll leave you alone
flowjob: 2) Join us and get rid of eminet
flowjob: 3) do nothing and we keep it up

She chose option three.

Crying for jihad to help

As it turns out, Emi has friends with benefits. Ultimately, she somehow called upon storm (promising him several private camshows no doubt) to wreck #realniggas, who then called upon jihad to leak the IP addresses of the #realniggas crew. Jihad wasn't playing that bullshit.

10:32:50 -!- Irssi: Starting query in EFNet with g
10:32:50 <g> hai
12:39:04 <jihad> ?
Day changed to 19 Jan 2014
04:25:46 <g> around?
11:41:07 -!- g [[email protected]]
11:41:07 -!-  ircname  : kill it with fire.
11:41:08 -!-  channels : #tcp #troll #evil #london
11:41:08 -!-  server   : irc.homelien.no [Who Cares]
11:41:08 -!-  idle     : 0 days 6 hours 21 mins 38 secs [signon: Sat Jan 18 11:10:09 2014]
11:41:08 -!- End of WHOIS
11:41:11 <jihad> ?
13:33:13 <g> ?
13:34:49 <jihad> who is this
13:35:05 <g> storm?
13:35:32 <jihad> sup
13:36:00 <g> nm you?
13:36:07 <g> i need some ips of people from wtfux
13:36:16 <g> starting shit with me :o
13:36:17 <jihad> wake n bakin p much
13:36:21 <g> hot
13:36:24 <g> i wanna be baked
13:36:27  * g grabs bowl
13:36:51 <jihad> i don't tend to give out IPs of users since i want them to trust me, but it depends on the users and the circumstances
13:38:16 <g> how many times have i helped you out ? :p
13:38:22 <g> that should be the circumstance
13:38:22 <g> lold
13:40:55 <jihad> i think you should just tell me who you are interested in
13:41:10 <jihad> idk who is comin at you
13:41:14 <jihad> i havent seen any of that on my network
13:41:55 <jihad> i did see acid talking a lot of shit about you yesterday tho
13:42:11 <jihad> what's his deal lately anyway? not long ago he was saying he was on the run from the feds
13:43:31 <g> dunno he thinks everyone forgot
13:43:32 <g> idc
13:43:57 <jihad> erybody that matters knows
13:44:45 <g> you're in the channel i want users of
13:44:48 <g> and the user is talking
13:44:49 <g> so
13:44:51 <g> 13:43 <&LittleHitler> who the fuck is this
13:46:01 <g> thats the kinda shit thats gonna have me kill your one ircd
13:46:01 <g> lold
13:46:26 <g> i've never seen someone so skillless talk so much
13:46:33 <g> the irony
13:46:55 <jihad> littlehitler?
13:46:59 <jihad> the ED troll?
13:47:25 <g> idc who he is, i didnt ask for his resume
13:47:34 <g> i couldnt give a fuck less where hes from or where hes been
13:47:49 <g> looks like a newb to me
13:47:58 <jihad> yo are you letting trolls get to you? what happened
13:48:04 <g> ?
13:48:13 <g> do i look like i'm getting trolled?
13:48:14 <jihad> you're asking for a user on my IRCs IP
13:48:17 <jihad> so idk
13:48:18 <g> i went there, got you nicks, and left?
13:48:36 <g> are you gonna try treating this like it's more than it is?
//funny thing to say for what came after this discussion
13:48:39 <g> o.o
13:48:46 <jihad> no i'm asking why you want his IP
13:48:49 <g> didn't i pwn peple on efnet for you? :o
13:48:57 <jihad> i never asked you to pwn anyone for me ever
13:49:00 <jihad> and you know that
13:49:09 <g> you didn't ask for that channel back? :s
13:49:33 <g> you asked for logins to acidstorms server too
//yeah, cause you said you had it (didn't give me anything though)
13:49:34 <g> lold
13:49:48 <g> carry on have a nice day
13:49:55 <g> pce
13:49:57 <jihad> peace

Storm saw these logs and got pissed. Then he got cockslapped by jihad again.

15:09 -!- Irssi: Starting query in EFNet with g
15:09 <g> [email protected]
15:09 <g> :]
15:09 <g> I'll find some cute logs for you, too. even though I'm against that faggotry.
15:10 <rx> are you gonna try treating this like it's more than it is?
15:10 <g> maybe.
15:10 <g> I DO WUT I WANT.
15:10 <g> etc.
15:10 <rx> true
15:11 <g> you saw me mercilessly slam thru all the people you claim you didn't put hits for.
15:11 <g> :p
15:11 <g> batter up.
15:11 <rx> yeah, i've always been clear about how i feel with ddosing. i don't do it. i don't ask people to do it
15:11 <rx> pretty much anyone that knows me knows this
15:12 <g> you trying to save public face is no different from the faggotry acidstorm causes.
15:12 <g> gj.
15:12 <g> lolol.
15:12  * rx shrugs
15:12 <g> ik. :P
15:13 <g> ppl get lame when they wanna save themselves publicly.
15:13 <g> my pastebin history shows I don't give a fuck.
15:13 <g> :D
15:13 <rx> say what you want
15:13 <g> no, no
15:13 <g> it stands for itself
15:13 <g> theres no "saying"
15:13 <g> it is.
15:13 <g> :]
15:13 <g> it's all there clear as day, my niggy. :s
15:14 <rx> lol
15:14 <g> bbl getting feddedfor private ircd ddos.
15:14 <g> scrub.
15:14 <g> lold.
15:14 <rx> my ircd got hit?
15:14 <rx> lol
15:14 <g> who knows
15:14 <rx> in b4 your feelings are hurt and you send more packets
15:14 <rx> "i'm not getting trolled"
15:14 <g> I meant in general, your fed threat fell upon deaf ears.
15:14 <rx> it's all there clear as day
15:14 <rx> what fed threat?
15:14 <rx> there was no threat
15:14 <g> no one goes to jail for ddosing a private ircd ran by faggots.
15:14 <g> lmao.
15:14 <g> no one.
15:15 <rx> that was me saying you're surrounded by feds
15:15 <g> in the history.
15:15 <g> for anyone.
15:15 <rx> i was saying
15:15 <rx> if you fuck with everyone that treats you nice
15:15 <rx> like me
15:15 <rx> you're going to be left with all the pieces of shit you surround yourself with
15:15 <rx> which we both know is littered with feds
15:15 <rx> i wasnt threatening you
15:15 <rx> :)
15:15 <g> as i see it, you try to be a public drama queen and lie about the desperate shit you've done to look leet, too.
15:15 <g> ;)
15:15 <rx> that's cool
15:16 <g> you wil lregret this; I'm not krashed.
15:16 <g> remember this.
15:16 <g> pce.
15:16 <rx> just keep slangin them packets
15:16 <rx> stick to what you're good at
15:16 <rx> words aint it
15:16 <g> shrug, some ppl got rooted
15:16 <g> ;p
15:16 <g> some ppl got hurt so bad they feared for their freedom( acid)
15:16 <g> :D
15:16 <rx> was that before or after he was already an fbi informant
15:17 <rx> :p
15:17  * g looks around
15:17  * g gets faildoxed by an informant for being ddos kiddie.... *is still around
15:17 <g> loooooooooooool
15:17 <rx> yeah lots of other feds are still around too
15:17 <g> I'm talking about me
15:17 <g> you twit
15:17 <rx> same
15:17 <rx> o/
15:18 <g> i dun get it?
15:18 <g> intimidated
15:18 <g> i'm not
15:18 <rx> just do whatever dude, i get swat threats on the daily and people threaten the lives of my family like i think it's actually going to happen
15:18 <g> cool, me too, and i've done none of that
15:18 <g> so?
15:18 <g> carry on?
15:18 <g> lol
15:19 <rx> yeah, i'm saying this shit pales in comparison to the stuff i already get hit with
15:19 <g> everyone i've owned i've done so without a single idle threat
15:19 <g> :D
15:19 <g> theres a reason why no one gives two fucks about whoever you're whining about threatening you
15:19 <g> because they can't do dick
15:21 <g> anyway, krashed-level and acid-level packet kiddie here
15:21 <g> signing out
15:21 <g> pce
15:21 <g> lold
15:21 <rx> naw dude you're a much better packeter than those guys
15:21 <rx> don't let anybody take that from you

Eventually, Emi decided to block all tor connections from Eminet. But, obviously, the #realniggas knew she was just playing hard to get, and went there using other means instead

DDOS of 1/19/2014

After receiving a heaping dose of pwn, Storm began to let his butthurt truly shine as he pouted and packeted WTFuxNet to spite jihad. This DDOS is currently ongoing. Many are wondering if Storm can beat the week-straight DDOS record of bombermanfan.

15:14 <rx> in b4 your feelings are hurt and you send more packets
15:14 <rx> "i'm not getting trolled"



— jihad showing exactly how many fucks he has to give

Update: Only 2 days. :( Maybe another time.

Nothing of value was lost

In the heat of the drama, just when it seemed all hope was lost, Emi was confronted by her worst nightmare: herself.

[14:56] <Flowjob> Can I ask a question
[14:57] <Emi> what
[14:57] <Flowjob> Did you really believe we weren't serious
[14:57] <Flowjob> Or did you just not care
[14:58] <Flowjob> I don't think you're new to the internet
[14:58] <Flowjob> So I don't understand how you could let things get this far
[14:59] <Emi> what was I supposed to do?
[14:59] <Emi> Tkae a bunch of nudes for you guys so you could put those up on ED too?
[15:00] <Flowjob> You're missing the plot Emi
[15:00] <Flowjob> Your body isnt the solution to all of your problems
[15:01] <Flowjob> Now that we've made it here, you have three doors
[15:02] <Flowjob> You can learn from this experience and take away what you can
[15:02] <Flowjob> You can learn nothing and enjoy the attention the article generates
[15:02] <Flowjob> Or you can shut down and suffer in your own hell with nothing gained

Flowjob was instantly klined. Another camwhore lost in the haze of the internet.

Choice Quotes For Your Enjoyment

<@YYZ> Emi, you've created such a mess just from EmiNet and all the hackers, spammers, ddosers, emailers


random whiteknight (who looks like a serial killer) - #emi

<&Rikstafer> That dude appears EVIL


random emi fanboy - #emi

[17:53] <Flowjob> Exactly what thoughts run through your head every time you take another picture of yourself
[17:53] <~Emi> probs
[17:53] <~Emi> no fn idea



—Always making use of that big beautiful brain!

<c_j_curtis> I don't like it here.


—It's okay CJ. We're right there with you.

<~Emi> Congratz! You tarnished the Holzer family name!


—Emi, finally understanding.

Fucking Hacked

Pwned by zeekill, Aush0k & null

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

zeekill, Aush0k & null decided hacking the whore's cable and electricity account wasn't enough, they set sail to make her life even more miserable. They proceeded to pwn her mother who goes by the name Cheryl Holzer, hack her teacher account and generate tons of lulz which echoed throughout IRC. Word on the street goes that the Attention whore has now involved the feds to help her stop the mighty zeekill, Aush0k & null from making her life even more miserable.

[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

14:57 <+Emi> fuck
14:57 <+Emi> I need help
14:57 <+Emi> idk what to do
14:58 <+Emi> they're messing with my parents
14:58 <+Emi> they hacked into my mom's account for her school
14:59 <+Emi> requested a sub
14:59 <+Emi> said the reason she can't be there is that I'm smoking meth
14:59 <+Emi> and the message to the sub is FUCK YOU
14:59 <+Emi> Why the fuck is this guy I don't even know doing this to me
14:59 <+Emi> I am beside myself

The lulz continued a few hours later when zeekill and Aush0k decided that they wanted to generate more lulz to echo through the IRC networks. They proceeded to order a truck full of sand and boulders worth $4000 to be dumped on her lawn, thus making her HIV+ dad lose his shit and leaving the family because of the actions her attention whoring generated.

What exactly did zeekill and Aush0k do to make Peter Holzer to leave his family?

  • Family house swatted multiple times
  • Home phone number redirected to their PBX
  • Changed their cable subscription to gay porn only (see gallery above)
  • Hacked her mother's (Cheryl Holzer) teacher account

The Sand arrived on the 30th jan 2014. Enjoy bathing in sand Emi!

<Emi> hey guys
<Emi> look what they did 
<Emi> http://i.imgur.com/MGQd3kP.jpg
<Emi> People tell me to kill myself every few minutes <Emi> Tdawg: because there are awful, hateful people out there!


[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

What you're really here for

Behold, the rewards of tirelessly defending Emi on IRC:


Previous Slide | Next Slide

<~Emi> I find the ED article pretty funny


Thanks Emily! - realniggas crew

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