Internet celebrity

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Magibon, Internet celebrity par excellence
iJustine, immensely popular YouTube user

An Internet celebrity is an unemployed person worshipped by 12 year old kids who is widely known among the members of an e-subculture or clique. The term itself is a misnomer because people who use the internet are not popular IRL. Most Internet celebrities have more friends on their LiveJournal friends list than anyone else, and it is to these vaunted heights of e-fame that all self-respecting attention or comment whores aspire.

Internet celebrities think that they are funny, witty and e-popular, but in truth most people just want to sleep with them, which is especially the case with e-celebrity Chris-chan. Some Internet celebrities mistake themselves for actual celebrities, but it is important to remember that even such individuals as Cory Doctorow are only known within a very small circle of Internets-savvy people. Get over yourselves. Kibo was one of the first Internet celebrities.

Andy Milonakis started out like that, but once everyone found out he was some freak adult they realized his show was based on faggotry.

So pretty much, internet celebrities are basement dwelling losers who, IRL, never have and never will do anything real with their lives.


If you are too retarded to become famous in real life, your only alternative is to be an attention whore engaging in shameless self promotion until you achieve the fine heights of e-fame, a celebrity in the electronic alternative reality that is teh internets.

Marks of e-fame include having more people on your LiveJournal Friendslist than anyone else, having your posts featured on LJ Drama, and of course having your own entry on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Also, crying over Britney is highly recommended. Failing even that, championing the cause of the Furluminati is another way to raise your e-fame to OVER 9000.

If none of the above work, then obviously the only things you are good for are spreading the diseases of both AIDS and epic phail

How to Become an Internet Celebrity

Dorian Thorn enjoying his e-fame LOL.
Gary Brolsma, creator of Numa numa, definitely lost at the internet
Penis enlargement makes your E-Penis bigger, thus automatically making you win the internet.

How to Maintain E-Fame: Doing it Wrong

Because there are so many naughties and so much lulz-worthy shit clogging up the internets like cholesterol surging through an American's arteries, it's hard to maintain the open-mindedness and "uniqueness" that made them celebrities in the first place:

How to Maintain E-Fame: FUCKING WIN

There are about as many ways to win at the internet as there are internets. Here is a partial list:

  • Gain ePoints
  • Gain eProps
  • Gain NeoPoints
  • Gain Man points and enter the leaderboard
  • Receive an Internet check
  • Winning an Internet lawsuit
  • Fifty Hitler Post
  • Playing 50 straight hours of Starcraft
  • Completing Battletoads without using any continues
  • Thinking with Portals
  • Pwning all the members of a forum with one post
  • Pwning an annoying user of a community by photoshopping their picture with as many shock images as possible [1]
  • Two words: free porn.
  • Respond to "tits or GTFO" with any option other than GTFO.
  • Call yourself by a random letter and declare yourself WIN.
  • Ask a celebrity to have sex with you to prove a point.[2]
  • Megaloading a site into oblivion.
  • Defeat the end guy (WARNING: He's hard).
  • Don't play WoW.
  • Rickroll a Major League Baseball team.[3]
  • Right a ebook telling people how to get Efamous

Also, though it seems paradoxical, sometimes people work towards getting banned from a specific part of teh interWeb. If that's your sorta thing, fine... you win the prize.

"A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?" -- WarGames

Notable Internet Celebrities

Internet Celebrities - MYSPACE EDITION

A MySpace Celebrity is anyone who is well-known on MySpace. Normally but not always, these people have done something amazing to warrant their e-fame. Many are friendwhores, and the rest are just regular whores.

Some go on to exciting carriers as singers, actors and goatse body doubles. Others just fade out in time and are replaced by the next barely legal tart that figures out how to use a key board.

MySpace Celebrities can be divided into three categories. They are:

The A-List

Tom has a pedo-smile.
  • MY.gif Ducky. An azn who was the second person to sign up on MySpace. That is the only reason anybody gives a flying fuck about him.

The B-List

Rational Responders are whores!!!1

The C-List

Mission: MySpace's default pic. It nevar changes.
The Vampire Don
Elza=stuck up narcissist scenewhore.
  • MY.gif Elza Eckzentrik, Actually believes she has reached fame on myspace and buzznet,whereas lies the sad truth of her "Oh so drastic and stressful photoshoot" days.She is the stereotipical self absorbed moody pre-menstrual 14 year old teenager,who thinks that only because she is a pro ana model will reach fame.She is way too good at selfpromotion.
  • Cody Kardashian. The attention whoring brother of Kim Kardashian.
  • MY.gif 'Miss Kristin Nicole'. 21 year old straight edge (hence the discovery of Photoshopped pictures of her sucking her boyfriend's dick) scene drama queen with an entry-level DSLR camera and Photoshop who runs a photography "business." She is most notable for posting bulletins every 15 minutes along the lines of "My boyfriend's band is practicing and I am watching Lifetime, I'm deleting my profile, I'm pregnant, comment me cute kids" and also making pointless YouTube videos that nobody watches about her past eating disorders which caused her "disease" (which is really Crohn's), her obsession with Twilight, "advise" (sic) regarding breakups and how she dyes her hair every week. If you want to waste minutes of your life, her videos can be found YouTube Favicon.png here.
  • Doe Deere. A typical narcissistic whore who does anything for attention. She once recorded some horrible music and posted it on myspace, hoping to become famous. Because having shit pumped through your ears with a fire hose is more pleasant than listening to her music, Doe Deere's career as a musician never took off. Nowadays, she resorts to scamming 16 year old girls by selling shitty makeup.

The F List

  • You. Admit it... you have one.

Anonymous Celebrities

There are mysterious figures on the Internet who are famous for their efforts to make the internets a better place. These people are not-to-be-known gentlemen who rip, encode, compress, seed, draw cool reaction pics, edit TOW gratuitously, write good articles about vintage games, dump ROMs, etc etc. Despite being famous, they aren't attention whores hence not appreciated by people. An example of this is

How You Can Help

If you find any moar MySpace celebrities that belong on here, add them. DO IT FAGGOT.

See Also

Looks pro-ana.

External Links

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