Doomsday Clock

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180px The world will end at 20:00


   
 
My father was a watch maker. He abandoned it when Einstein discovered time is relative. I would only agree that a symbolic clock is as nourishing to the intellect as a photograph of oxygen to a drowning man.
 

 
 

—Dr. Manhattan on the Doomsday Clock: Watchmen

The Doomsday Clock was originally created by the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists in 1947 to represent how close the world currently is to experiencing complete and total nuclear annihilation. As of January 2017, the Doomsday Clock has officially been re-purposed as a political propaganda tool that is operated by progressive liberal millennials who are completely and utterly clueless about how the world actually works.

They treat the clock as if it was a fact-telling tool, when it's just a fearmongering tool by phony scientists to belittle Trump and undermine his presidency.

History


   
 
The Bulletin's clock is not a gauge to register the ups and downs of the international power struggle; it is intended to reflect basic changes in the level of continuous danger in which mankind lives in the nuclear age.
 

 
 


The Doomsday Clock was created by a bunch of pussy scientists called the Chicago Atomic Scientists who, upon lamenting their assistance in the creation of the Atomic Bombs that nuked 🇯🇵Hiroshima and Nagasaki to great fanfare and applause, decided to eke out a few more seconds of scientific fame by pretending to have a distaste and loathing for this wonderful creation of theirs that can turn a person instantly into a shadow.

In 1947, co-founder of The Bulletin Of The Atomic Scientists ✡Hyman Goldsmith✡ asked Alexander Langsdorf to design a cover for the June 1947 issue which would illustrate the urgency of the nuclear problem at hand.

Langsdorf chose a clock as if it were counting down the last seconds to man's complete and utter destruction happening as naturally as a 13-year-old boy wanking it to a Wal-Mart bra ad if there is no change in our then-current international policies, international hostilities and proliferation of atomic weapons.

Midnight

The definition of Midnight on the Doomsday Clock holds a different definition dependent on the year it was defined and in the modern age The Doomsday Clock can be seen as more than just a countdown to humanity's extinction through nuclear exchange.

Some definitions have included Bio Terrorism, for instance some Jihad Joe might get a hold of a rather virulent strain of smallpox and instigate a world pandemic, sudden irreversible climate change where Mother Earth gets pissed and says we can't live in her basement anymore, or our favorite, death by nanobots where the world ends in a Grey Goo.

The clock is not advanced or rewound based on current events like many Libtards like to believe, but is in fact symbolically set at how close they think humanity is to going full blown Emo and becoming an hero en masse based on current events, attitudes and potential threats for the period of time the clock has been set.


File:Vyf1tdyeommgw9abcbj9.png
Doomsday Clock at different time periods


Rewinding The Clock

If you're one of those liberals that believe that forcing our Great and mighty living god of a President out of office and getting the world to join hands and sing Kumbaya in unison will rewind the Doomsday Clock then you're dumber than a Fanboy looking to get laid at a Star Trek convention. As the clock is now set with regard to many complex issues, the removal or change of a single issue- no matter how fucktarded it may be- will have little impact.

Improving our nuclear security with regard to reactors and how we store that spent nuclear material is an issue. Improve security standards so that some towel head can't steal material for a series of dirty bombs that starts a war and the clock goes back. Because contracted security staff, like all government drones, are well paid and immune to corruption.

Taking the man, the myth, the legend, Carl Sagan's advice and funding people with no lives and a lot of patience to sit there and stare at the sky to see if there's a large Earth ending asteroid out there with the words "Worst Day ever" written across it and heading our way. Increase funding here and develop technology and strategies to deal with this scenario and the clock goes back.

As the wheel chair jockey Stephen Hawking has suggested, Quit fucking sending out messages into deep space hoping that aliens will answer." The best bet is that if these aliens hear us they'll wipe us out like we were the Indians and they were the Pilgrims. Stop doing this and the clock goes back.

In short, The Bulletin Of The Atomic Scientists says that changing one thing would have very little impact because if you, say, all of a sudden created a green energy source that produces no pollution there are still green house gasses, deforestation, the polar ice caps melting and the rising acidity of the oceans that have to be dealt with.

So if you all of a sudden got your favorite Libtard wet dream and our great President and savior was no longer in office there would still be North Korea, Russia, social media, climate change, pestilence, and has been celebrities whining about their cause of the week that all have to be dealt with before the clock can be turned back.

See Also

External Links


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Featured article December 23, 2018
Preceded by
CyberDemon531
Doomsday Clock Succeeded by
Zwarte Piet