Don Henrie

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azn, not undead
A picture of our vampire lord taken in 1996.
Why Don didn't just come out and say he gave himself the title on his old website, we will never know.

Don Henrie (more like Dong Henrie, amirite?) is a self important goth who tells people that he is an immortal vampire with far reaching powers of darkness. These powers include psychic abilities, blood drinking and trying to score fame and fortune while living off of his last remaining groupie's tips from stripping. He still claims to sleep in a coffin even though a jilted exlover didn't let him retrieve his from her home after they broke up and he hasn't had one for over three years (as of October 2010).

What sets him apart from the other members of the vampire community is his brief stint in a short lived reality tv show that aired on the Sci-Fi channel (Bring back MST3K!) back in 2004. Since then he has been trying to whore himself out on the sole draw that he believes he is a vampire. For some reason some people in the vampire community thought that because he was on television and could form complete sentences, this made him an unquestionable elite power figure. Respected community leaders like Michelle Belanger and Father Todd flocked to and fought over him, but have since cut their ties when they realized they couldn't manipulate him because he was just as big a megalomaniac as they were.

PROTIP: When trolling Don's MySpace or Facebook, ask for the purification ritual that he used to make his "birthmarks fall off" (that he mentioned in the Tyra Banks episode he appeared on). Demand it. If that doesn't work, talk about his crooked nipples. This will result in a shit storm of epic proportions as he will attempt to verbally sodomize you into submission.


Who is Moose-sama? A gender neutral young faggot on dA that has been trolling Don and Sarah Lester very successfully. VERY, very successfully.

FaceBook Drama

Don has recently stopped actively interacting with fans on his Twitter and CuntBook pages. This is because he is horribly easy to trigger into an USI fueled, cock-sucking rampage. Even the groveling of his most subservient minions will be mistaken for an attack on him and will result in him pissing his crotchless panties out of anger, let alone if they call him out on his assholeish behavior.


Don nigger 2.jpg

Apparently Sarah (aka Becky McWhiterson) is part black so it's ok for him to call colored people niggers. PROTIP: Even if the chick you're mooching off of isn't the whitest person on earth, just sticking your dick in a "partially black" woman doesn't give you the street cred to use the word "nigger".

He got mad street cred, yo!

Not A Real Vampire?

"I get sunpoisoning easily." That is why he was out in the desert sun, and why he now consistently has a tan [1] [2].

Don Henrie isn't a vampire, he's a douche bag.



While this statement will have most of us screaming out "no kidding, asshole", there are a few others that take this issue more seriously. And these are the defenders of "true vampirism".

In many of his interviews, Don rehashes the same old information regarding the vampire community. Anyone with a computer can easily look up information on sanguinarian and psychic vampires. But apparently it takes someone who is not Don to actually get the facts right-- and by right, I mean reflecting the general opinion of the vampire/otherkin communities.

When he first "came out of the coffin" in 2004, he had stirred up a shit storm by declaring in many an interview that all self-proclaimed vampires follow the rules set forth by Michelle Belanger and Father Todd, the Black Veil, totally ignoring the fact that the community of blood-sipping weirdos predates their dipshit foray into LARP and White Wolf.

Tampons make better vampires than Don Henrie.


Kambriel, goth doing it for the lulz

He stirred up shit again in 2006 when, after jacking off to the movie Underworld one too many times, he stated in an interview with Maxim that werewolves and vampires were at odds with one another, and that werewolves were the same as otherkin. This caused many a furry to scream out in rage, resulting in Don being shunned from their reindeer games. So now because of his inability to get "his facts straight", he is only taken seriously by club kids and producers of laughably cheap Halloween specials.

Pictures of him in direct sunlight have surfaced [3] [4], despite his claim that he can't move around during the day because of the "severe pain" sunlight gives him and his inverted circadian rhythm.

A Real Stand-Up Guy

We Are Minion

Don got the name of his deviant art account from the band We Are Minions. Quite frankly, who would want to follow a guy that referred to his fans as "minions" besides severely retarded trailer trash with no self-esteem?

Meth Use

This guy lived with me back in 2002, we did LOTS of meth, he even shot it up in my bathroom. I got clean back in 03, but he was still using hard. He does have a small penis, and listens while you are taking a shit. Weird dude, wish i saved some of the old polaroids of this guy back before he knew how to do makeup. lulz... girls taught him to do makeup, oh and Im surprised it hasnt been mentioned, but he totally was bisexual when i knew him, and like to get down with the boys too.

Copyright Infringer

MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE... Photographer Forrest Black? Who cares, MINE!!
Copyright Don Henrie SCI FI you stupid fuck!

Don Henley likes to think that he owns the right to images just because he is in them. But what he doesn't realize is that photographs and video are sole property of the photographer unless there was a special agreement in their contract. While he probably could intimidate and extort all he wants from small time photographers to get them [5] to give him equal ownership, this is highly unlikely in the case of the Sci-Fi channel and other corporate entities that make their money off of their visual imagery. Don going around saying people can't use images from these sources essentially has the same weight of him saying they can't use an image these people took of something else.

His opinion on the matter is worthless unless he owns the picture. He has no bearing on the matter and only if the actually owners of the image decided that people couldn't use them is when people would get in trouble for copyright infringement. But unless proper credit isn't given or some random schmuck is claiming they own the rights to the picture (and are using it in advertising or are somehow making money on it), then and only then would, say, SyFy Channel have a bitch fit about improper use. Small time photographers that Don works with are free to remove their work from this site if they see fit... yet none have done so.

None of the "haters" are making money off of the pictures photographers have taken of Don Henrie or are claiming credit for them. The only person that is misusing images of Don Henrie is Don Henrie! He has used photographs he didn't have the rights for in advertising and until he got pwned by dA staff he had been trying to sell pictures of himself using the sites print option, even with pictures that he couldn't bully the photographers into handing over rights for. He has edited and reposted images without expressed permission from photographers, been lax at best when providing photography credits and claims sole ownership of images taken by the likes of Forrest Black and the SyFy channel. He will even claim ownership if another model (or in the case of Maury Povich, someone that is actually famous) appear with him.

The Cult Leader

Whiney little bitch extraordinaire.

I feel there is a responsibility to make sure that we are taken seriously. Very seriously. And I will spear head that.


—Don Henrie

Break out the kool-Aid, his modeling agency is the next

He aspires to be a cult leader and brow beats all his fans who aren't "loyal enough". Even though he likes to project a tough guy facade, he is really a whiny little girl that will complain about the many perceived indiscretions of his fans. One of the many examples of this is that even though he claims to be a vampire community leader, spokesperson and "iconic figure" he throws tantrums whenever a fan asks him about the vampire community or vampirism in general (over a year later he has yet to supply his own FAQ as promised and the linked "interview" went nowhere).

His claims of going on TV to further the fucktarded vampire community, and not himself, are immediately shot down in the face of this. Anyone that doesn't see him for what he really is is a moron., aka, The Cult of Don Henrie

Not hacked, lulz.

At one point Don's web page was a thriving internet community with enough emo tears and gothic poetry to make the members of H.I.M. slit their wrists in disgust. Something that was never discussed was that the turn over rate for forum moderators and site administrators was high. The general malaise and contempt that Don had for his minions was not revealed or spoken about until the last struggling days of his website.

WHORE. Liek, minna-sama, prease pay fol mah phone beer.

There were angry claims made by Don and Sarah that the site was hacked, and he was all too eager to direct his fanbase to attack those "responsible". Those he he deemed responsible for the attack changed daily and ranged from exlovers to rival figures in the vampire community to site members he felt weren't "devoted" enough to him. It was the straw that broke the camels back for many people in his circle of supporters. During this time, literally ALL of Don's strictly volunteer staff that he had running, designing and maintaining the place had left. Yes, ALL. Lulz.

The site never recovered from the "hack" (which was later revealed as simply a technical error on Don's part by several former staff members). Don had tried to move his empire over to Darkness Embraced, in a move that in kind terms could be called a covert hostile takeover. After trying to brainwash and bully site owner Larae, and generally trying to make her his bitch, she finally got sick of his shit and told him and his minions to GTFO.

Through this, he also continued to ask for "donations" and hand outs from people, assuring them that the money was going to rebuild his website to make it bigger and better than it was before. In reality, this money went to other expenses that can only be speculated on.

Hostile Take Over: Exile Asylum

Though the "founder" of the supposed modeling company is still involved in the project, a good chunk of the original EA team has vanished from it with the arrival of Don and Sarah. While it originally was a sort of creative co-op run by some goth chick and her friends, Don views it as a fan farm and Sarah often claims EA as her own project where she is the "queen bee running the hive", despite the "founder" being the one that does all the actual work for the website and business relations.

Despite being the spokes model, he isn't a working model. No one pays him to take pictures of him, he doesn't even do photo shoots for the fun of it. There is only a scant few photographers (Two? Three?) that have taken pictures of him in the past three years. So the title model is more of a vanity thing than an actual occupation or hobby. He's not much of a spokes person either. He hasn't been interviewed in forever, and mainstream interest in him is virtally none existent. In person at what few events he hasn't been shunned from, and what fewer he's actually asked to stand around looking like a vampire at (or what ever it is he actually does), nary a peep is ever heard from him in regard to the agency unless he's trying to impress women and people with money. But then he's not really promoting the company, just trying to look like a hot commodity.

He claims to have ownership of the agency and its pitiful social networking site these days, and is trying to turn both into a Don Henrie-Sarah Lester circle jerk of sociopathic self-infatuation.

Cult of Don Henrie About missing Pics
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Sarah got the brilliant idea that she and Don should host their own convention where Don would be the star, and where they'd invite a bunch of hacks to stand around to make Don look better in comparison. Disregard that, Paracon was originally under the control/the brain child of Carolyn Griffiths and Janice Oberding, alias Boo La La Productions. Don and Sarah had been acting like it was their convention from the start, when in reality they originally had nothing to do with it. Carolyn and Janice dropped out and handed over control so all that remained was Don and Sarah. Again, EVERYONE walked out on them. This is likely because Sarah was a righteous cunt that was desperate to get her muddy little paws on what ever fame she could bilk out of this event. She insulted organizers, potential convention goers (of Carolyn's Christian demographic) and participants and was a discriminating whore. After Don and Sarah were in total control, Sarah tried to blame a registration fuck up on Carolyn, but that bitch totally pwned her.

Sarah Lester was fond of claiming that the event would appear on HBO, A&E and Sci-Fi in the form of a documentary. While there is no doubt that each of these networks would show something of sub par quality, it is highly doubtful that these two drug addicts could actually put something together in a sensible manner that would be anything but poorly thought out self-promotion of themselves.

Without informing any of the speakers, vendors or ticket holders of the cancellation of the convention Douchebag Don and Slimeball Slut Sarah "took the money and run", much like they did for Don's web site. Repeated attempts for explanations have gone unanswered. Don and Sarah will delete comments made on their profiles made referencing the event or asking for refunds and continue to pretend like Paracon never existed.

Legacy of Black Dahlia

His ex-friend with benefits and current pin cushion current girlfriend is an attention whore by the name of Barbara, or as she likes to be called, "Black Dahlia". After Sarah Lester declared jihad on this woman, Barbara shot back with a wide range of accusations that ranged from Don only drinks blood when a camera is on him to him having a small penis... the latter of which everyone already assumed due his Asian heritage. While the truth may be disputed, it's not hard to imagine there being truth to her words as Don has a public history of being abusive to his adoring fan base.

A Celibate Swinger

When Sarah and Don started their relationship, she claimed to simply be his "manager". He claimed her as his punching bag together with the title "Whitest Chris Brown Out There"

Apparently keeping their fucking under wraps has become old hat for Sarah, as she is dropping hints left and right that they are together. She's not yelling from the mountain tops "I'M FUCKING DON" (my bad, she is), but it's still rather noticeable and painfully embarrassing to watch. Don himself is quiet on the matter, as he still wants to attract jailbait to fuck.

The icing on this triple decker shit cake is how in October 2009, they both declared on national tv to not be attached to anyone, Don specifically saying that he was above relationships and sex (at the time mark 7:50). Sarah claims that she has been with Don (she calls him her boo boo) for two. Whoops! While they could say they were celibate together, it doesn't work out because on the Tyra show Sarah says that she thinks it's acceptable and NOT disgusting to have sex if you were in a relationship while claiming to be celibate ATM. If she was celibate at that moment then she wasn't in a relationship, or so she would have you believe.

Also, Don's Myspace relationship status is set to swinger. So much for forgoing fucking. Italic text

A Real Father Figure

In a rather long and drawn out rant about why she is so special, Sarah alludes that Don is her childs stepfather and that he is teaching him some top secret dark arts stuff like killing people.

Liart66 hey douchemunch 2.jpg

Don The Star!

TV Appearances


Don claims to be approached regularly by producers, directors and tv stations to star in their shows or appear in their documentaries about the vampire and goth subcultures. He also claims that the reason why this hasn't lead to fame and his face being plastered on billboards across the country is because he's "ethical" in his choices and will only take roles with merit or appear in documentaries that are down to earth and not the least bit sensational.

Don exercises his acting chops in Abbey of Thelema.

Don trying to get attention on Mad Mad House.

Interview with Estoric Radio part 1

"The Secret Life of Vampires", part1.

"The Secret Life of Vampires", part 2.

"The Secret Life of Vampires", part 4. Using pressure points to fake "psychic draining".

"The Secret Life of Vampires", part 5.

"The Secret Life of Vampires", part 6. With blood drinking!

Don has appeared in a couple documentaries on the vampire community, the most notable being Vampyres. It should be noted that, while this documentary set out to reveal the mystique of said community, it only furthered the idea that they are all a bunch of club kids, idiots and delusional morons with role-playing fixations. He'll probably blame his douchified persona on editing and not any real effort on his part.

He appears in Abbey of Thelema(more like Abbey of The-lame-a, amirite?(yes)) briefly as The Angel of Death. At the time he touted it as a major accomplishment, but when it was revealed to be marginally bellow the standards put forth by Manos Hand Of Fate he quickly shut his whore mouth and never spoke of it again.

He has appeared on the Tyra Banks show (watch here) with his girlfriend Sarah, who is apparently a vampire as well. Is vampirism spread by osmosis? Regardless, the episode was following after one on the subject of the popular vampire-themed series "Twilight". Despite presenting himself in a rather romanticized fashion, he was obviously shaking like a leaf at being on the show. His appearance was the basis for Vampir in the South Park episode The Ungroundable.

Reality TV

Don's first experience with reality TV was with Mad Mad House. He appeared with his friend and his fiance in a scene where he drank her blood. In the same scene he drained the energy out of Noel. Both examples really freaked people out and made that stuck up bitch Fiona Horne totally afraid of Don Henrie. Or so one would have you believe. That show was faker than the bible. He actually made the douche bag pass out using pressure points. Long story short, when Don grabbed the guys neck really hard, he cut off the flow of blood to his brain and THAT is why he fell over like "the energy was drained out of him".


Don and Sarah are claiming to have a reality television show in the works. AGAIN. This is, what, the third time? The last time they tried to play it like it was their concept and something they actually had control over. Instead they had just gotten wind of a casting call and were directing Don Henrie fantards to apply and tell the producers what a great person he is and what an epic center of talent his agency would become. So he got his fans to pitch him to the network for him. What a kind man.

It's most likely the same show that originally begged vampire community powerhouses like Michelle Belanger, AcrophobicPixie, Isealdor, Anshar and Shadrianah to appear, but they turned it down because it was a ridiculous circus.


Don appeared in a music video with his ex "soulmate" Michelle Belanger. Despite the front woman's brutal vocals that are so flat they are reminiscent of the brown note and predictable lyrics, it is argued among trolls that the song itself isn't that bad. What makes it utterly laughable though is the shitty video Michelle produced for the band staring herself and Don, playing the roles of seductive and lithe vampiric seducers. Just that being a seductive and lithe vampiric seducer is not exactly a good description of Michelle in this video. She appears more like an ugly, fat dyke (surprise!), while Don looks like a wee li'l girl.

Aside being treated with the sight of Don slobbering on some crack whore's neck, we are presented with a band that looks like it would be right at home at a German homo erotic S and M expo. With their "fashionable" get-up, make-up and a surplus of leather and chainmail, they surely are the envy of every mall goth's Hot Topic fantasy.

"Shadow Dancer" by Urn (more like train wreck by Urn amirite?)

Here he dims his lights, points his webcam at his flexed abs and breathes like a sex offender into the mic. baleeted. Lulz.

Fans (or fags) of Don Henrie

Unfortunately, there exists a small but retard strength following for Don Henrie (we should call him Yoshi or some shit). These so called "minions" have fallen under what would appear to be a strange sort of radiating faggotry.

How unfortunate it is then, that their hero is a meth eating, lop nippled Amerinese (the polar opposite of a weeaboo) 30 something who has given nothing significant to the world.

A fan vid for Don. Note the strange tingling sensation in your brain signaling a slowly dying part of yourself.

Don responds to ED

His responses are reflective of two of his coping mechanisms: the first being utilizing his fan base to attack his enemies, the second being trying to scare "the normals" into believing he has supernatural powers and can influence karma (which isn't a manipulatable force, you retard).

You are doing a favor to existence by adding to this article, and therefore exempt from karma. So many people have been saved from Don Henrie's sociopathic clutches by this article that it's almost saddening.

Following in DivineAngel's footsteps of "troll trapping", he claims that he posted this thread for the lulz, just to see how long it would take for someone from ED to post it here. What he hoped to accomplish by this, other than looking like a retard, is unknown.


in a recent interview, we managed to delve into the mind of this superdouche and see what really made him tick.

  • ED: So, Don, you must be a big Dungeons and Dragons fan? (lol)
  • Don: What?
  • ED: next question. so, how do you feel about the current state of the goth subculture?
  • Don: One, it's a culture, you ignorant fool. two, there's too many posers.
  • ED: Hmm. like yourself?
  • Don: don't make me feast on your kidneys, mortal.
  • ED: guess what? i don't have any! HAH!
  • Don: WTF?

Don Henrie, Internet Tough Guy

Last Thursday, some /b/tard noticed that Don Henrie has lopsided nipples. Because eh's a cool guy who trolls faggots and doesn't afraid of anything, Frankie commented on the picture, hosted on Myspace:

Hahahaha. Has no-one else noticed that this guy has lopsided nipples? Also, Why would you be telling everyone that you are a vampire if you really were?



This ruffled Henrie's feathers, and led to this TL;DR, yet hilarious response:

From: The Vampire Don

To: Frankie Date: 16 Apr 2009, 02:04 PM Subject: I noticed something...

That you like to leave fucked up messages to certain people that can display just how fucked up someone could really be to fucked up CHILDREN such as you that live far away in aussie land thinking that they can get away with fucked up little things that they say while they are safe and sound in aussie land behind their tiny computer screen that their parents provided for them. Little do they know that their son just fucked with the wrong person that has connections in the myspace legal department that would do just about anything for a person that they might regard to be excellent in stature society wise as compared to some fucked up EMO ass scrawny underfed cheeks sunken in never gonna find love til your FOURTY years old, parents supporting you on your creative future spun out drug habit while they get a notice from a legal department that handles things that their son had created due to his own god damned stupidity in his actions of messaging someone while they saved that message and the previous one as well that was related you punk as motherfucking think you are clever little BITCH.

This is the first message and warning that you will receive. The next message will be the deletion of your little MYSPACE account. This will happen without warning, and though you may find it fucked up, You can go and FUCK your self.

And another thing.

If you want to take this to a personal level, there are much worse things in this world that many people would gladly do for me in such a case of annoyances such as you LITTLE one.

My hand reaches farther than you realize.

IP addresses can be tracked, of one was able to get their hands on them, and in this case... Furthermore, I believe that you can get the picture from here.

Or maybe you would like to just have a lot of people ruining your day and making you not want to ever come to this form of media again.

So just chill and think of what I am saying to you before you create more of a shit storm than you need for you and your family.

I have been waiting for a little fish like you to torture in ways that you would never imagine.

~Until then

P.S. Go and fuck your mom, that is of you still have one. Maybe she died in some horrible car accident and I am making fun of her. Oh well... Right?


—Don Henrie, Lord of the Faggots

tl;dr ~ Colossal retardation & USI.

Alleged Shit Fetishism

Vampire don henrie.jpg
Asking his fans what makes them take big shits. For real, omg o.O

Don has been accused by (obviously blind) girls who have had the misfortune of having sexual relations with him of being a shit fetishist. Apparently, his (verygoth) habits include listening outside of bathroom doors, walking in if the door is not locked, and playing with his own feces. Apparently, Don does not just suck blood. These selfsame girls have also affirmed that his undead penis is, in fact, of typically azn proportions.

Barbara (aka Black Dahlia) also has said that he likes to sit while peeing and sing songs about his dookie.

Don Henrie Shitfiend.jpg
...the truth about the dark side.


Gallery of Undead Beauty and Lust About missing Pics
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Random Lulzy Shit About missing Pics
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Related Links

Official Don Henrie's official website


  • Is It Real? is a show that poked and prodded him while working him further into his delusion.
  • Vampyres a half-assed documentary that Don was featured in.

Interviews and Articles

Former Friends Speak Out

See Also

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Featured article May 8, 2008
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