Dogpatch Press

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UwU nazis? In MY fandom? It's more likely than you think
Patch at a gay pride parade 20 seconds before going off to get railed in the ass

Patch (AKA Dogpatch Press, Patch O'Furr Patch Packrat, Blake Killpatrick, or Patrick Lake) is a sociopath and self-proclaimed furfag "journalist" best known for his news website of the same name titled "Dogpatch Press", and for having numerous autistic fits about nazis, nazifurs and furry raiders. We know this because he will never shut the fuck up about them, and he continually inserts himself into furry raiders drama for no other reason than to get clout. When this waste of human life isn't publishing hard-hitting journalism on his gay little news website, he's getting jerked off at pride events and getting slapped with lawsuits for fraud and libel. In a community filled with pedos, camwhores, autists, dogfuckers and antifa-endorsing neets, this guy not only manages to be the biggest, greasiest shitsmear on the underpants of the furry fandom, but excels in finding new ways of validating himself as the biggest, most gigantic, most unlikable super-supreme-ultra-mega-faggot in the entire universe that has ever existed and will ever exist.

Nazis here, Nazis there, Nazis every-fucking-where! That's the mind of the batshit insane roody-poo candy-ass behind the AltFurry blockbot, and that's the mind of anyone that uses it. Anyone right of Stalin is literally part of a death cult and the only salvation is to ignore every furfag not following the script. That's right, either you're a stunning and brave trans neet otherkin fighting one of many self-diagnosed mental illnesses, or you're a jack-booted Hitler Youth involved in a far-right conspiracy hell-bent on the destruction of the free liberal world. Why are you mad anon? You'd only be mad if you were a Nazi. Oh you're not mad? Nazi confirmed. Pwnt n00b LMAO UwU

He is also listed as a writer on some bullshit furfag JewTube show called FLFF, but nobody gives a fuck since it's only followed by like 3 people. (lol)

Literally who?

Portrait of a poo pusher, already getting low to suck your cock

Dogpatch is a San Fransisco based furfag, and former 2D animation instructor at the Academy of Art University at Sherindan College. He created a short animated short film called Pirate Scum for Esurance's ad campaign. Karl Cohen, president of the San Francisco Animators Association (ASIFA-SF) noted it "really got the audience laughing... I suspect [Patrick] will be an audience favorite at festivals". What anyone saw in this shit cartoon is anyone's guess, but it definitely wouldn't have made pass on Newgrounds or AlbinoBlackSheep, put it that way. He also storyboarded 13 music videos for Disney's Choo Choo Soul, and partially storyboarded a budget indie film "The Prankster". There are some other things he did that nobody cares about, because the stuff we're interested in is down below.

The Dogpatch Press Blog

Dogpatch's co-ed Fred Patten hard at work editing an article on a wordpress blog people totally care about
Guys, I don't think this guy likes Nazis...

Fursuits, homosexuals and micropenises. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little furry news site. But Professor Utonium accidentally an extra ingredient to the concoction- CANCER. Thus, dogpatch.press was born. Using their ultra-super powers Patch, Fred Patten and some other faggot called Pup have dedicated their lives to fighting nazifurs and the forces of evil!

At least that's what he'd have you think: his work ethic when doing research is about on par with The Young Turks, in that his journalism is even more biased than the average CNN broadcast. His reporting is based on half-truths, riddled with libelous claims and he's continually allowed to get away with it because the furry fandom is filled with crybaby retards who revere him as god's gift to the world. The amount of times this asshole posts about Nazis are quite numerous to say the least, and you'd be forgiven for thinking he had wet dreams about Foxler Nightfire, or that he was opening the Foxler Fanclub, or that he should marry Foxler if he's going to talk about him so fucking much. Naturally, he only does this shit to be a giant attention whore, because why would you write about content when you can simply become the content yourself, right? Obviously, you don't need an Encyclopedia Dramatica article to tell you the 'nazifur problem' is being played up to be a bigger problem than it actually is, or that the nazifurs definitely wouldn't be part of the final solution. But he knows the shock-value of a handful of furries with this stupid opinion is enough to give him the clout he needs to maintain his tenuous position as 'top dog' in furry news.

>implying ED is not the top news source for furry news

Occasionally he'll stop hyperventilating long enough to publish articles based on other subjects, like the Zoosadism community (an unholy alliance of beastiality and necrophilia), and Kero The Wolf which seems to be a central figure in this shitstorm. Other targets of his autistic ire are 2, The Ranting Gryphon, a blacklisted anthrocon 'comedian' and former associate of furry raiders before he ducked out, and Patreon scraping sites like the now defunct yiff.party, or it's modern cousin: kemono.party, since they're hosting paywalled material.

The Alt-Furry Blockbot

One more thing we must touch on before we dig into the juicy hot goss on Dogpatch, is that he is the creator of the alt-furry blockbot, a curated text file containing a list of accounts some loose connection to the alt-furry movement that can be imported into twitter's settings to block users en-masse. Are all of the accounts he blocks all legitimately alt-right? No, not all of them, and several sources have said on the platform have said as much, like it's got some big alt-furry names and others randomly added from chipfoxes blockbot, and also some non-furries are on the list. Is Patch adding people there that he has personal grievances with, like other authors of blockbots have done before? Absoloutely! By now you can tell that none of this has done anything to help heal the already cancerous tumor that is the furry community. Even the more lefty furfags have questions about whether they can assume good faith of Patch when making this file, but they still do because they're idiots who will trust him with anything, like we said earlier. Furthermore, his assumption of bad faith and quickness to spout libelous claims is something he's gotten in trouble with before, so it seems silly to extend the benefit of a doubt to him.

Patrick Lake also wants to create a FurAffinity blocklist and a 'Do Not Commission' list to further divide furries into those who support his antics, and those who do not (which can accurately be defined as being "completely insufferable" and "only mildly tolerable" respectively).

Local bumhole engineer gets into a fight with everyone irl, more at 11...

Before we go any further, the following statement has to fully sink in for you: If this were a case of some autistic far-left nutcase sperging out over 'nazis' for clout, nobody would give it the time of day - they're a dime a dozen. But Patch's insipid attention whoring and apparent retardation is merely surface level. Patrick, the owner and editor of Dogpatch Press is one hell of a goddamn sociopath, and he's the kind of person that (when he doesn't get his own way) will use his platform and will do anything he can to slander whoever or whatever he wants, and his mouth-breathing brown-nosing fanbase will eat it up like the chimps they are. He's the furry equivalent of Keemstar, only thinner and even gayer.

The BannedCast Kerfuffle

"It's wrong to teach if you have negative opinions about a subculture dominated by autistic nerds." - as said by absolutely nobody else, ever

January 2015, some people running a bay area based podcast and blog called 'BannedCast' decide to go to a furry convention, and wrote a ten-page story documenting their experience in a hard-nosed, satirical 'tongue-in-cheek' way. Basically it's the sort of thing /b/ would have written without as much use of racial epithets. The archive for this article can be found below if you want to read, and it genuinely is well worth the read:

https://archive.md/1rRlh
https://archive.md/EDMTE
https://archive.md/O4o0A
https://archive.md/sgkyX
https://archive.md/9CT96
https://archive.md/bpu68
https://archive.md/PD5Gc
https://archive.md/aN2Yq
https://archive.md/y5ZiJ
https://archive.md/ZtfEq

The majority of BannedCast's readership 'got the joke' as it were, and moved on with their lives. Furries however, displayed their typical behaviour of getting butthurt over any form of media poking fun at their culture, just like China. Dogpatch himself popped off with an article, predictably whining about the negative coverage of furry conventions in general, and tone policing their use of words like 'retarded' and 'autistic', which he of course is himself an authority of all retarded autism. The article also claimed he was a teacher, and that the sort of things the author was writing about was very inappropriate for someone like him to post about, so Patch doxxed him and suggested that his readers should contact his employer to complain about his opinions on the internet. The article no longer exists and the archives cannot find it, but the author's name and workplace info were listed in there according to Greasy Yote.

Speaking of which, Greasy Yote contacted Derek (the author of the article) via e-mail and raised the alarm that Dogpatch published this hit-piece and was actively attempting to get him fired from his job, feeling that even if he was poking fun at the fandom he didn't deserve to have his livelihood destroyed for it. The following is the unabridged e-mail response he got from Derek:

Hi Greasey,

Thank you so much for going out of your way to bring this to my attention. I discovered all of this late last night about an hour before your email and had already begun addressing it as best I could. I’m still surprised that so many people would think that it’s okay to contact my employer over what may be occasionally vulgar, sometimes offensive humor, but I maintain that in spite of that my piece was not intended to vilify or belittle my subjects.

I don't teach, but I sure don’t want my employer being bothered with any of this, and I don’t want to have to explain the site or my particular vision of my own satirical material on there. I appreciate very much your coming to my defense and articulating what I had always imagined the piece to be: an exaggerated, hyperbolic testimony of my and Hayley’s experiences at FurCon. I honestly don’t know how people could take any of what I wrote seriously, and I think what bothered me most was that people saw the piece as an attack written by some sort of vicious ex-jock or pretentious hipster—I never intended to maliciously hurt anyone with my piece. We at BannedCast sometimes go out of our way to get a reaction, it’s true, but that’s because you sometimes have to cut through the noise in order to be heard, and that sometimes requires saying shocking things, loudly, because you believe that what you have to say matters, even though it may be buried beneath the sound and the fur(r)y.

Upon reflection, I think that most of this misinterpretation is my fault. I’m realizing now that I should have written some sort of a concluding reflection that put furries and my and Hayley’s experiences into a proper context. I think I left this up to Hayley at the end of the final audio clip that is included in Part 9, but Hayley’s defense of furry fandom was perhaps too brief and came too late, and most people had either stopped reading or stopped listening by that point in the sequence. It’s been a while since I’ve written this sort of creative nonfiction piece, and I think this reflective element would have put things into perspective and helped to draw a comparison between myself and Hayley and the furries we’d come to investigate, thereby demonstrating that I wasn’t on a mission to ridicule for the sake of ridicule something that I knew very little about. We were curious, to be sure, which is why we wanted to know about the most salacious and popularized elements of furry fandom, but we also didn’t consider ourselves inherently superior to those with whom we were communing that night.

Because that really was a takeaway from my and Hayley’s excursion: we’re both sort of outsiders, and we were attracted to attending and infiltrating a furry convention because we in some way identify with them, and we both have our own community of outsiders in our own lives to combat that isolation. For me, it tends to be comics and other artists, and don’t think I couldn’t write an equally scathing piece about amateur, small-circuit comedians. I intend to one day, and it will spare no barbs and jokes directed at that community, too. At least you guys don’t have to deal with the shitty, gossipy, and shallow competitiveness that is the amateur comedy circuit …

I find this need for identification and belonging to be especially true of the young kids we spoke with that night, and I think I could identify elements of my own high school experiences in them. My friends and I wore outrageous clothes and collected around punk rock music and skateboards (and drugs) as our own form of collective expression. This is something I articulated in my book about my experiences on the road with my friends’ band (the last creative nonfiction piece I wrote), but I now see that this is something that I neglected to include as part of this short series on furries. For that, I am culpable, and for those who read it because I linked to it on social media expecting furries to get a kick out of it (hopefully able to laugh at themselves a little bit, in spite of the barbs that are definitely in there), it may have been difficult to see what I was trying to do without that qualifying reflection at or near the end.

I’m interested in writing that now, and I think I will because I would like to make it clear to all of those others who took offense that, yes, despite some of the jokes made at furries’ expense, I’m not blind to the fact that we share some crucial elements in common and Hayley and I honestly had a great fucking time there with you all! I can and often do come across as a dickhead, but I’m also sincerely empathetic and I truly do prize outsiders and those who don’t fit the norm above all others.

Lastly, with regard to the arsenal of comments and screenshots they were planning to use against me with my employer, the autism remark is so clearly meant not to insult autistic people but intended instead to insult the commenter’s baffling misuse of the word “autistic.” I don’t quite understand how people could read our comment and think that anyone, especially us, could ever hate autistic people for being autistic—the idea of summarily hating all autistic people is absolutely insane and really the crux of the joke. With regard to the cheerleaders comment and my saying that I would wait and ask the one with an eating disorder out on a date because they’re already broken—again, making such an exaggeratedly misogynistic statement is not meant to reinforce misogyny but to repudiate it and perhaps shed some light onto how grossly objectifying women and holding them to unattainable standards of beauty produces those kinds of psychological effects (because it does). And I’m not making this up after the fact to save face—that intended meaning is why you saw women in by Facebook feed liking it and commenting on it. They got the joke, and I can’t be held responsible for people like this Dogpatch guy and others who don’t get it.

Anyways, this is a long way of saying thank you for your kind words regarding the piece—I really appreciate that because it helps to know that at least some people understood what I was trying to do, which was to paint a playful, albeit occasionally stinging portrait of a furry convention. As I said, I take the blame for most of that misinterpretation on other people’s part for not including that missing contextualizing segment, and I will take this as a lesson to improve my writing in the future. Per your comment, I also need to make sure that I’m not suggesting that a sausage fest is an inherently bad thing, too—you’re absolutely right!

Thank you as well for defending our site and my piece and for reaching out to me to alert me of this. It’s possible that your coming to my defense so quickly before things spiraled out of control may have saved my job and my resume, and for that I owe you many thanks.

All the best,

Derek B


It's hard to know what happened to Derek after the closing of this website, but one thing we do know is that it had nothing to do with Patrick Lake's feeble attempts to get him fired from his day job.

Lawsuits? In MY FURSUIT?

Furry lawyers: As imagined by furries...
...versus reality.
No, not that Peter...

Consider the following scenario: Peter S. Beagle, the author of The Last Unicorn book and animated film, had been working with Connor Cochran of Conlan Press for the past 13 years. He had been doing this to work his way out of crippling debt caused by numerous publishers and studios. Cochran is by no means a good guy in this, as is proven here, but now enter Patch: who, after being denied for a book deal with the publisher, decides to forge Connor's signature on a contract to get a lawyer to defraud him of thousands of dollars. When the lawyer dropped this cunt for his obvious bullshit, he harnessed his inner autist and waged an anonymous libel campaign against the company on a website called fansagainstfraud.com, a site entirely dedicated to talking shit about Conlan Press. Not even Peter Beagle had anything nice to say about it.

Dogpatch had fucked with the wrong man.

Connor "loading mags and dropping fags" Cochran did what any sane person would do and filed a lawsuit against this bitch for defamation in 2016. Cochran also claims it took six months to serve him with legal papers due to Patch's ghosting. Once they finally caught him, he was arrested for assaulting the housemate who helped serve the documents. (sauce) Lake did not even attempt to defend himself during the trial and Cochran filed for default judgment and damages.

Conlan-press-statement.png

There is a long-ass article that Connor wrote rebutting most the allegations presented by Dogpatch here, however it doesn't contain the full rebuttal, for that you'd have to refer to the Lawsuit between Connor Cochran and Conlan Press Inc v. Patrick Lake. Here's the TL;DR version if you're not up for much reading:

  1. Almost everything that is alleged is either taken out of its original context or exaggerated heavily just to make the publisher look bad
  2. Connor's home address and phone number were published on the website, infringing on his privacy.
  3. Incorrect assertions that the house pictured in said dox were 'proof' that they were taking money from investors not for the business, but for their own personal gain.
  4. Patch pretended that Beagle was still destitute, begging Connor to help him, despite the fact that, at the time of his writing, he had already won the TLU contract money and had been paid in full.
  5. The site mentions that several publishers like Penguin, Baker & Taylor and one other author have sued Conlan Press, but conveniently fails to disclose the OUTCOME of those lawsuits, all of which failed btw.
  6. The assertion that "Cochran ripped off over $10,000 in unpaid wages from a worker" is baseless and demonstrably false.

Sadly there isn't a happy ending to this tale, it's more bittersweet. Conlan Press filed for bankruptcy in early 2018, left destitute from Beagle's $52 million lawsuit for elder abuse, fraud, defamation, and breach of fiduciary duty. Sorry pal, you wouldn't know dignity if you see it.

My best bud, a pedo!

The post that started it all.
Pictured: Dogpatch not reporting on pedos
Norffc baz.png Ang on ladz - Baz finks tha nur only dis fuckars a puf, but e's a kiddy fiddla innit?
You can elp by provin us rite. Simple as.

Behold, this is what happens when the community Dogpatch helped create with his own brand of toxicity comes back to bite him in the ass. In 2017, Dogpatch was identified as lurking in the furry raiders telegram group and had been bitching about being called out for it, and decided that this was a good time to have a cat fight with another equally dubiously run furry 'news' outlet called Furry Hell, run by editard, Walt Moth. After pissing and moaning for a while and then eventually blocking Moth, he then got ChipFox, one of his fanboys, to defend his honour.

This backfired when 2 weeks later Walt Moth posted about Dogpatch publicly associating with a registered sex offender and pedophile, Daniel Mizuho Llamas (aka Growly). Dogpatch sperged bigtime with this bout of drama, and mass spammed reports to Twitter's T&S team and getting his readers to be his personal army and do the same, because anyone getting into an argument with Dogpatch on the internet is Literally Hitler. Walt Moth does bring up one interesting point however, and that's how Patch lumped him in with the Alt-Furry stans instead of actually addressing the central point of this controversy, or even denouncing pedophilia or disassociating himself from a known child molester. All this does is give his enemies proof of either one of two things about Patch (if not both).

  1. Dogpatch is a pedo
  2. Dogpatch is supportive of pedos

This was the beginning of the end for Patch, as his apologia for pedos and cub porn was the point where he started haemorrhaging support from the mainstream furry community.

Can you count to 2 without screaming Nazi?

You'd think this is a joke. It's not.

In 2018, Ex-communicated furfag and greymuzzle 2 gryphon took a break from shitting in his adult diaper and complaining about his back to express interest in making a show about creating dialogue between the alt-left and alt-right furry communities. It went over about as well as you'd expect, with the usual suspects (Patch, DeoTasDevil, V3X, Ed Tedious Bear etc.) chiming in with their takes on why 2 is literally Hitler for talking with the Furry Raiders, once again proving that when furries aren't busy hating the world through their infantile escapist bullshit, they're busy hating each-other.

There's not much else to say about it; 2 had a stupid idea and the far-left bubblefags chimped out over it, but we can give you a choice snips from DogDickPress, just to give you a little taste of what his mood was like that day.

   
 
Hey let's check in on @2_Gryphon. How is he responding to recent attention on his support for the the altfurry hate group? Hmm, he doesn't believe racism exists in fandom. But wait, OwO what's this... *notices yr baloney*
 

 
 

—Dogpatch Press

   
 
Racism admitted on 2's post denying it exists. http://archive.is/GeG6r
There you go 2, POINTING. Do you support ethnic cleansing? There’s no such thing as a “peaceful” kind. Twisty evasion about “only some of us” isn’t I DON’T SUPPORT THIS. Here's your chance, can you say it?

 

 
 

—Dogpatch Press

   
 
*Crickets* Why does 2 yell about “SJW’s” but won’t give a peep about the thing he asked for? They say “peaceful ethnic cleansing” but of course it's just plain racism with sugarcoating.
 

 
 

—Dogpatch Press

   
 
Of course they don’t goose-step, 2, you lying idiot, they lost a world war that way. That’s why they use sugarcoating and get a "neo" prefix. You know how to use a dictionary, are dictionary definitions nonexistent?
Hate is indefensible and @2_Gryphon is full of it.

 

 
 

—{{{11}}}

How to Troll Dogpatch

The pillar of the furry community, everyone!

You might be wondering 'Good sir, how might I be able to troll someone who is clearly a troll?' If this article has taught you anything, it's that Patch is quite a touchy fellow and that there is plenty that can be done to get a rise out of him. Just be sure to stay anonymous however, because rumors have it that he also posts on Kiwifarms, because of course he does.

  • Show him this article or his thread on KiwiFarms
  • Criticize his 'pillar of the community' image by pointing out he's a slut
  • Call him a pedo-enabler
  • Draw art of him getting curbstomped or fed into a woodchipper or something
  • Do a better job of documenting furry drama than him
  • State the obvious and mention Vietnamese sweatshops draw better and animate better than he can
  • Say that Connor Cochran did nothing wrong
  • Punch him in his stupid faggot face

Oh, and nevar forget...


Are you into docking? OwO

Since Patrick Lake doesn't have a problem posting people's dox on his own website as part of his 'journalism', he shouldn't have a problem with us posting his linkedin here. After all, he was/still is working in education, and his behavior is very improper for someone working around impressionable youths. So you should complain about his actions and opinions to his current/future prospecting employers. That's what he wanted people to do with Derek, right?

Gallery

'WHY AM I SUCH A FAGGOT?' A Dogpatch Press Exclusive About missing Pics
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External Links

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Furfaggotry

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Homosexual Deviants

Visit the Faggotry Portal for complete coverage.

Dogpatch Press is part of a series on Dying Alone

[DeadCry yourself to sleep]

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAdam LanzaAlexis ArquetteAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAn heroesAnal CuntAndy KaufmanAnna Nicole SmithAsa CoonBrian AdamsBrandon CrispCharmaine DragunChris BenoitChris Harper-MercerChynaCodey PorterDavid BowieDavid CarradineEazy-EEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyGeorge SodiniGizgizHappyCabbieHarambeHeath LedgerJake DavisonJeff WeiseJewWarioJim MorrisonKate SpadeKitty0706Kurt CobainLemonade CoyoteLeelah AlcornLil PeepLoki BlackfangLiloMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiPekka-Eric AuvinenPrinceRandy StairRehtaeh ParsonsRicardo LopezRipperRobin WilliamsRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShaySteve StephensTony48219TooDamnFilthyTyler DumstorfVester FlanaganWilliam AtchisonZhao Zewei

Those Dying Alone

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Dogpatch Press is part of a series on Lolcows [JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYI'M PRESSING BUTTONS]
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